The college choir I’m in is rehearsing a song. In this part of the song, one section sings its part and keeps repeating it while the other sections join in one by one. The altos and tenors are already singing, and we reach the point where the sopranos join in.

Director: “Add the sopranos!”

The sopranos join in, but the tenors drop out. The director notices and stops conducting.

Director: “When I say, ‘Add the sopranos,’ that means the other parts keep singing. It does not mean to drop out and have only them sing. That is not what ‘add’ means.”

One of my friends in the soprano section chimes in.

Soprano: “Welcome to kindergarten.”

Director: “When you’re making a cake, and it says to add eggs to the flour, you do not take the flour out of the bowl and put the eggs in alone. Let’s do it again, and make sure you’re actually singing!”

We get through that iteration and reach the bass section’s entrance. This time, the instructions are different.

Director: “Just the basses this time. A bowl of eggs.”

After selecting a track from a CD provided by the client for an animation…

Client: “This is just way too horny. I don’t want it to be all horns.”

Me: “Okay, we could definitely find a track with fewer horns.”

Client: “Just pick something that doesn’t have any sort of jazzy feeling to it.”

The music the client provided was from a local jazz orchestra.

This story happened a long time ago in the ancient days when cell phones were not a thing, and you couldn’t just look up answers on your phone.

My mom and dad were at a bar when the song “Ruby Tuesday” came on. 

Mom: “Oh, I love this song! It’s by the Beatles, right?”

Dad: “No, it’s by the Rolling Stones.”

Mom: “No, that can’t be right.”

They came to the agreement that in order to figure this out, they would ask the other patrons at the bar. Long story short, through force of personality, my mom managed to convince the entire bar that she was correct and that “Ruby Tuesday” was by the Beatles.

When they went home, they looked it up. It’s by the Rolling Stones.

Our venue is rented each year by the local Kidney Association to put on a show by a very talented local Elvis impersonator. It is always a hit, and you would be amazed at how excited some of the grandmas — and even great-grandmas — get at the thought of it. You would think the King himself was going to be on our stage.

I was working in the box office the afternoon before last year’s show when an elderly woman and her daughter came in to purchase tickets to both the show and the meet-and-greet beforehand. After they received their tickets and turned away from my window, the mother somehow got tripped up by her cane and took a tumble into one of the retractable stanchions by the door.

I looked out to see my manager at their side with the first aid kit. I called for an ambulance while she kept the mother calm and applied a bandage to a small wound on her temple (caused by the edge of her glasses). While I spoke to emergency services, my boss tried to make her comfortable on the floor of our lobby.

While all of this was happening front-of-house, the band had been on stage setting up for that night’s performance. It turned out that someone must have run down and let “Elvis” know that he had a fan down in the lobby; the next thing we knew, the man himself had left the stage and was sitting on the lobby floor. He sat by the mom’s side, holding her hand in his, and making jokes about her going to such lengths to meet him one-on-one. Soon, she was smiling and laughing, their undignified position on the floor completely forgotten.

When the EMTs arrived, I went out to meet them, but I had to warn them:

Me: “I’m not sure how much help you’ll be now. I think Elvis has already saved the day as far as the patient is concerned.”

They checked her over, and other than a couple of bruises and the cut from her glasses, the mom was fine. She absolutely refused to be taken anywhere for further treatment, declaring that having met “that nice young man”, she certainly wasn’t going to miss the meet-and-greet or the show. She had a fabulous time, and she got special attention from “Elvis” during both, which made her glow.

The Kidney Association continues to do its annual fundraiser with us, and our impersonator friend even flew in for the show this year, taking a couple of days off from a months-long booking in Hawaii to keep his yearly date with our local grandmas. That is one artist who is not willing to let his fans down.

I live in Los Angeles, so there are lots of people here trying to “make it” in the entertainment industry, whatever that means for them. Most people start by trying to find events to network, etc. However some people… take a different approach. 

I was just standing at a crosswalk when a woman with a guitar slung over her shoulder came running up to me. 

Woman: “Hey! Do you know anyone in the music industry?!”

Me: “Uh… no?”

Woman: “Oh. Well, who do you know who does?!”

She stormed off before I could answer. I was completely taken off guard and bewildered, but I guess that’s one way to do it!