Black & Blue Friday

, , , , , , | Right | November 29, 2019

(It’s Black Friday, a few minutes before the store opens. The employees are all in their specific departments waiting for the rush of customers that are lined up outside. The store is set up so that whatever department someone wants to go to, they have to line up in that department. We’re trying to keep it from being a free-for-all. I work in the service department, which is near the door, so we have a direct line of sight, but there is a huge line of carts that sits between the doors and us. The line of carts is about three wide and goes back about twenty feet or so from the wall.)

Coworker: “This is my favorite part; we watch the idiots that try to skirt the system fail.”

(As if on cue, the doors open and a flood of customers comes in. Most immediately see how the set up is and go to the departments they want product from. One, though, sees he won’t be able to just go straight into the computer department and will have to wait in line. He then sees the line of carts. He takes a running start and tries to jump the three-wide line of carts. He actually clears the first cart, but lands face-first on the second and falls to the ground. A few police officers that were hanging around due to the size of the line outside rush over and arrest him.)

Coworker: “See? Idiots like that guy.”

(My coworker then went back to doing his work like nothing had happened.)

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Selling Fast Internet But Slow On The Uptake

, , , , , | Working | November 23, 2019

(We got a new house in a great neighborhood. But one of the few drawbacks is pesky door-to-door salesmen. Usually, we send them away with a polite “no, thanks.” Not on this day. My family and I have just gotten back from the park to celebrate my baby’s first birthday. She is tuckered out and I am trying not to wake her as I get her out of the car. It takes me a while and anyone looking from the street can see I’m unloading a sleeping baby. Right as I close the door and set the diaper bag down, the doorbell rings and the baby wakes up. I’m not a happy mama and I answer the door with my cranky — but still chill — baby in my arms.)

Me: “Yes?” 

Salesmen: “Hi, ma’am. I’m going through the neighborhood talking to people about their Internet service. Are you familiar with fiber optic cable?” 

Me: “Not interested. Thank you.” 

(The salesman steps up onto the stoop, invading my personal space.)

Salesman: “Can I ask why not? All your neighbors are quite interested.”

Me: “How about I’m trying to put my baby down for a nap?! This isn’t a good time.”

Salesman: “But this is a really great deal! I’d hate for you to miss out.” 

(He reaches to touch my baby and I quickly move her out of his reach.)

Me: “Get off my property. Now.” 

(The threatening tone of my voice summoned my husband and mother. I was about to hand the baby off to my mom, but the guy finally got the hint and slunk off, looking at me like I was the jerk.)

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What Price Loyalty?

, , , , | Right | November 23, 2019

(My store has a customer loyalty discount card. Customers can add their phone number to their card so they can still get the discount without their physical card by typing in their phone number at the electronic payment PIN pad. After ringing up the customer’s order:)

Me: “Do you have your loyalty card today?”

Customer: *starts saying her phone number*

Me: “Oh, you can just type that in here.” *points to the PIN pad*

(Its default setting is ready for the customer’s phone number. For me to type it into my register system, I have to switch between several menus, so it’s definitely quicker for customers to do it on the PIN pad.)

Customer: “It won’t work if I do it.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Then it won’t work if I type it in, either.”

Customer: “I know, but they always make me try before using the store card for me.”

Me: “Yes, because we are tracked for using the store card, but you can add your phone number to your existing account by calling customer service.”

(I use the store card and he gets his discount and pays. After receipt prints, I show him the customer service number on bottom of the receipt:)

Me: “Just give them a call and they can fix that up for you. We used to be able to do it in-store, but it’s changed now.”

Customer: “Everything is just getting away from customer service, isn’t it? Online, by phone, not in the store.”

Me: “Sir, it’s so you won’t have to wait around in the store; you can do it at your leisure.”

(Some people are never satisfied. He received excellent customer service, and got his discount with no hassle and information on how to add his phone number to his card at his convenience. What more do people want?)

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Should Have Refunded Him Exactly What He Paid  

, , , | Right | November 20, 2019

(I work in a hotel where we get a lot of rooms that are paid for by a large business for their guests to use. The guests don’t have to pay for anything to do with the room. A guest is checking out of one of these rooms:) 

Guest: “I spoke with someone last night about getting a refund on my room because it was not up to the standards that I expected.”

Me: “Well, sir, it looks like your room was actually free, so there is nothing I can refund you.”

Guest: “But this room was not up to my standards. I had to pay [amount] to [Company] for me to get this room for free and that room was not worth that much.”

(The guest continues to rant about demanding his discount while other guests are trying to check out, so I call my manager to deal with him. My manager comes back from speaking with him.)

Manager: “If he comes back in, call the cops.”

Me: “I just don’t understand how he wanted a refund on a free room. I should have given him a pencil.” 

(That man made sure I earned my paycheck that day and let me know that the customer is definitely not always right.)

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Physical Scars Causing Mental Ones

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2019

(I work in intimate apparel so I get a lot of requests for certain underwear and whatnot. I’ve also had my fair share of older women doing questionable things.)

Customer: “Ma’am, do you work here?”

Me: *putting away clothes left in the fitting room* “Yep, sure do! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for all-cotton hipster panties. Do you have them here?”

Me: “Of course; it’s in our panty section. Give me a few seconds and I’ll walk you over.”

(I end up just leaving the pile of bras on my counter to help the woman and lead her to where our panties are.)

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t have any solid colors. Will that be okay?”

Customer: “Colors and patterns don’t matter to me; I just need all-cotton hipsters. I just had a surgery that removed a portion of my bowels and I don’t want anything on my scar.”

Me: “That’s super easy to find, so if you would check this table display rig—”

(Right as I’m speaking, the customer pulls up her shirt and unbuttons her pants. Much to my absolute horror, she starts to tug her pants down to the — luckily empty — floor which exposes the panties she is currently wearing.)

Customer: “See where they cut me open?” *points to the very obvious scar on her stomach* “I need panties to make sure they don’t touch this scar.”

Me: *unsure what to do and what to say* “R-right, ma’am. These panties right here are what you are looking for—” *spots my manager* “O-Oh! I need to go talk to my manager! If I’m not back, the plus-size cashier would be happy to help you—”

Customer: “Thank you so much, sweetheart. I appreciate your help.” *fixes her clothes as if nothing happened* 

(I speed-walked to the department manager who was closing that night and told them I was taking my break right then and there. I didn’t tell them what happened but I’m sure loss prevention had a blast laughing at me and my panic of what the woman did.)

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