Unfiltered Story #190895

, , , | Unfiltered | March 28, 2020

(During college I worked as a front desk associate for a massage therapy clinic. We had very strict rules on professionalism because, as many people know, there are lot of weirdos who think they can walk into a legitimate spa, clinic, or chiro office and get a “happy ending”. Those people were the bane of my existence, but these were the two weirdest ones I witnessed.)

Customer #1:
(I’m in the office doing our weekly log paperwork, but I can see my coworker checking clients out at the desk. A new client who’d gotten the massage as a gift, presumably from his wife, finished his appointment and was checking out.)
Coworker: Hello sir! I hope you had a relaxing massage today!
Customer: (Looking disappointed) Yeah, it was okay.
Coworker: Oh? Was there something about the treatment that you didn’t have time for?
Customer: Well, she didn’t do everything.
(NOTE: His particular therapist was blind, she was very good but people sometimes questioned if she’d done *everything* they asked for because of her vision impairment)
Coworker: Could you be more specific? (Thinking he’d wanted more time on his back or something.)
Customer: (Starting to look upset) Well, why didn’t she do my private areas?
Coworker: Um…What?
(I stand up from the desk but don’t come out of the office yet.)
Customer: WHY didn’t she do my private areas?! (Motions towards his groin.)
Coworker: Because that’s ILLEGAL!
(I step out of the office to find my coworker glaring at him, and the man’s face turning bright red.)
Me: Thank you for visiting us today, sir. Please note that we are a professional treatment clinic, not a massage parlor.
(The guy handed over his gift card and fled the lobby.)
Coworker: Did he really think his wife bought him a “happy ending” massage??

Customer #2:
(With massage therapy, the “problem” customers are usually men, but that doesn’t mean you can’t encounter a woman who’s off her rocker as well. We had a newer therapist who was fresh out of massage school, he was around 25, handsome, and a really sweet guy. He was building up money to go back to school for physical therapy and wanted the massage experience to add to his repertoire. During his second month as a licensed therapist, we had a middle-aged husband and wife come in for massages.)
Me: I’m terribly sorry, but our couple’s massage room is booked all weekend. We can accommodate you in separate rooms if you like?
Husband: That’s fine, I really need this sore spot in my back worked. (To his wife.) That okay with you, hon?
Wife: Sure!
(We get their intake paperwork done and send them back for their massages. The husband requested a female therapist and the wife requested a male, so we put her with our new therapist since his schedule wasn’t as full as the others. Not even twenty minutes into their hour-long massages, the therapist comes back into the lobby, his face is bright red and he looks extremely uncomfortable.)
Therapist: Hey (my name), can I talk to you?
Me: Sure, what’s up?
Therapist: I don’t know how to say this but…she’s saying some inappropriate things in there.
Me: Inappropriate how?
Therapist: She’s…um…well…she’s trying to talk dirty to me!
Me: *speechless for a minute* Really?
Therapist: Yeah…
Me: What is she saying?
Therapist: I don’t even want to repeat it!
Me: It’s okay, what did you tell her?
Therapist: I told her I needed to come out for a different kind of massage lotion, but I don’t know what else to do!
Me: Didn’t they train you in school how to handle inappropriate clients?
Therapist: They told the women what to do! They just told the guys we probably wouldn’t have many problems.
Me: Well that’s just stupid. You go back in there and tell her if she can’t speak to you in a professional manner then you’ll have to terminate the session.
Therapist: *nods rapidly* Yeah, okay, I can do that. What if she freaks out?
Me: Let her freak out. I’ll handle it if she does.
(NOTE: I wouldn’t be allowed to tell the woman’s husband what went on, but I would be allowed to ban her from the clinic if she didn’t heed her first and only warning. He went back in there, and did the rest of the session, although he ended a few minutes earlier than he normally would. The woman got back to the lobby before her husband, and was actually SULKING in a chair while she waited for him. Her husband came out a few minutes later and they can up to the desk.)
Me: How were your massages today?
Husband: Great!
Wife: *pouts* Fine…
Me: Wonderful! Your total today will be ($amount).
(They paid and left, and both therapists came out from the back.)
Female Therapist: (Male Therapist) told me what happened!
Me: Yeah, I know. (To him.) Did she listen to you when you warned her?
Male Therapist: Yeah…but she was mad the rest of the time, her shoulders were stuck all the way up into her ears.
Me: Well it’s her own fault for being so rude to you. (To the other therapist.) Was the husband ok?
Female Therapist: Oh yeah, he was fine!
Male Therapist: Figures…

The Ensuing Argument Will Not Be Nano

, , , , , | Right | March 25, 2020

(I work for an electronic store in the service department in 2013. A couple walks up to me with a five-year-old iPod Nano.)

Customer: “This got some water on it; is it busted?”

(The iPod has water in the screen sloshing around and no power at all.)

Me: “Was this dropped in a sink or something?”

Customer: “It got some food on it.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m sorry, but it’s done for.”

(The customer turns to look at the guy she is with.)

Customer: “This is all your fault! If it wasn’t your motherf****** food I had to get… You owe me a new iPad!”

(Again, she had a very old Nano, not an iPad. The man looked at me while the customer walked away cursing and gave me a look that said, “Kill me now,” before turning and walking away.)

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Will Get A Good Whine At The Grocery Store

, , , , , | Right | March 17, 2020

(A young professional woman in her twenties or thirties comes through my line. She’s on her cell phone but I don’t mind as she has already indicated her bagging preferences.)

Me: “I need to ID you for the wine.”

(She hands me an expired license.)

Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t sell you alcohol without a valid ID.”

Customer: *her whole body slumps* “Why not? I’m obviously over 21, and my birth year is on the card even if it is expired.”

Me: “I’m sorry. It’s against the law, but I’ll check with a manager.”

(The manager arrives quickly and gives me the sideways eyeball since we both already know the answer is no.)

Manager: “We are unable to sell alcohol without a valid ID.” *hands the customer the expired ID*

(The customer then started loudly complaining to her friend on the phone about how they never need her ID at another large grocery chain in the area. I had to continue to fill the bags as the customer loudly “talked” to her friend on the phone about how inconvenienced she was, and on her birthday no less. It was obvious from the sideways looks and phone narration that this was for my benefit. Sorry, lady, but your $9.99 bottle of rosé is not worth losing my job and health benefits. The number of customers who drive to get wine but are driving without their license is mind-boggling.)

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Unfiltered Story #190086

, , | Unfiltered | March 16, 2020

(I work at a popular pink and orange donut and coffee shop that makes it very obvious where you are when you’re there. We’re not busy so I notice when the lady comes into the store. I’m taking a group order so she has to wait in line for about five or seven minutes, ample time to see the store and hear our drive-thru workers greet our customers with “Welcome to (store)!” Finally, it’s her turn.)

Lady: (Whips out a gift card for a high end sandwich shop that is just down the street from us) “Am I correct in my understanding that every Wednesday for this month you’re giving away free bagels with gift card?”

Me: (Stares for about a minute in surprise.) “Ma’am, that’s a (Other store) card.”

Lady: “Okay? So?”

Me: (In shock) “Ma’am, this is (my store).”

Her: (Looks around like she hasn’t been here for the last ten minutes.) “Oh, this isn’t (other store)?”

How do you manage to stand in line in our store where there are about seven or eight posters with our name prominently displayed; me with a giant wall of donuts behind me; our greeting over headset; and of course, our cups, which all have our brand on them? She left like it was our fault we weren’t (other store).

Unfiltered Story #189648

, , | Unfiltered | March 15, 2020

(I’m a cashier at a wine and beer store, and unfortunately for us, we have a “No Customer Complaints” policy. It’s especially tough for me, since I’d never worked in retail before, but it usually means we hand out discounts like candy to angry people. One not-so-busy day, a customer came up with a huge basket of various single beers, including four 750ml bottles of a ginger beer. He wasn’t happy when I rang them up.)

Me: And your total is [total], sir. Are you a loyalty member?

Customer: *ignores my question* Wait, what did those ginger things ring up as!?

Me: Looks like they’re $19.99 each.

Customer: Well the sign for them said $1.99! I wanna buy them at $1.99 each! Otherwise it’s false advertising!

Me: (with wide eyes) Well that’s… certainly strange. I don’t know why they’d have a dollar-ninety-nine tag if they’re this expensive. I can’t imagine who would have put these there. I’m sorry, but I don’t think we’d be able to give you that much of a price change.

Customer: Let me see your manager!

Me: …Okay.

(I walk over to the office area next to the registers and explain the situation to the MOD, and the customer walks back to the aisle where he found the beers, presumably to double-check the tag. MOD agrees that his request is far too ridiculous. She walks over to him and, a few minutes later, they walk back to the register.)

MOD: Well, the tag did say $1.99, but it wasn’t for the same product. It’s for a 12-oz bottle. Sir, I’m sorry, but we can’t reduce the price.

Customer: Well then I won’t buy them!! If I can’t have them for $1.99 each, I won’t buy them!!

(Nodding, I void the ginger beers from the transaction and put them aside.)

Me: So that brings you down to [new total], sir.

Customer: I’m tellin’ ya, I’d have given the customer the lower price, were I in your position! Just sayin’! It’s false advertising. FALSE ADVERTISING.

Me: I’m sorry, but it’s just too big of a difference to–

Customer: Still false advertising!

(He buys the other beers and stomps out, mumbling.)

Me: …Have a nice day.