Unfiltered Story #103696

, , , | Unfiltered | January 16, 2018

(I am the furniture manager, at a retail establishment that sells close out items mostly. Our motto is surprising savings in every aisle everyday. On this particular day a customer comes in for the second time in two weeks to buy a couch. His wife is a different breed that is skinny, but has huge boobs. She is wearing extremely short shorts and a halter top.)

Me: “The total for the first order is 748.00 and for the second order is 60.69.”

Husband: “You hear that baby, the total has 69 in it. Looks like we’re breaking in the couch when we get home.”

(The wife grabs his junk and smiles and winks. I just smile mortified, wanting to go home.)

Dropped The Call On That One

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2018

(I do tech support for a small telephone company. At the start of every call, we ask for the customer’s name and phone number. The calls are usually routed to us through the business office, so the number that shows up on the caller ID doesn’t help identify the customer.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] Telecom. My name is [My Name]. Can I get your name and a good phone number to call you back on, in case we get disconnected?”

Caller: “Hi, yes, thanks. I — oh, hang on, I’ve got a call coming in on my cell.” *thirty seconds of rustling, distant voices, etc.* “Okay, never mind. Anyway, sorry. I’m having trouble with my phone service.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but I’d be happy to help! Can I—”

Caller: “It will drop out randomly. I’ll just be talking, and then it will disconnect out of the blue.”

Me: “I understand. Is there a—”

Caller: “It’s been happening for a couple of weeks now, but this is the first I called because I’ve been busy.”

Me: “No problem! Let me get a good—”

Caller: “Are you the right person to help with this? I really want to get it fixed.”

Me: “I can absolutely help, but first, can I ask—” *click*

Problem Customer Number One

, , , , | Right | January 12, 2018

(I’m the stupid customer in this story. I’ve just found a gorgeous dress on clearance; in a store where things are usually $20 or $30, this is only about $3.75. I’m really excited.)

Cashier: “All right, that’ll be [total just below $4].”

Me: “Awesome, here you go.”

(I hand him a ten without paying much attention and look through my wallet, noticing I have no change.)

Me: “Hey, could you give me all ones back?”

Cashier: “Oh, um… Yeah, sure.”

(The cashier starts counting out the change, and I get confused, wondering what’s taking so long. After what feels like forever, he hands me my change and receipt. I’m still confused for a moment.)

Me: “Hey, you gave me… Oh! Oh, my God! I gave you a 20, didn’t I? Oh, my God, I’m so stupid! I thought I gave you a ten!”

Cashier: “It’s all right, ma’am.”

Me: “No, really, it’s not! Oh, my God! And I’m a cashier, too! Oh, my God, I am so sorry!”

Cashier: “Really, ma’am, it’s fine.”

(I take my bag and go, red-faced and embarrassed. I just forced this cashier to count out $16 in ones, which I know I would hate having done to me. As I round the corner I hear the cashier say something to his coworker.)

Cashier: “Hey, um… I’m going to go get the manager. I need more ones.”

Wendy Wouldn’t Approve

, , , , , | Right | January 12, 2018

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Place]! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: *pause* “What?”

Don’t Kick A Trojan Gift-Horse In The Mouth

, , , , , | Learning | January 12, 2018

(I’m a librarian. A woman comes in about 15 minutes before closing and asks for photos of the Trojan War for her fifth-grader to use in a school project. I do some searches and find quite a few, from carvings on urns to paintings to drawings of the Trojan horse, and portraits of Helen of Troy.)

Customer: “But those aren’t real. I need photographs, not pictures of drawings and paintings.”

Me: “I’m sorry; there aren’t any photographs of the Trojan War. It’s a myth, like stories of the Greek gods.”

Customer: “But I need photographs! That’s what the teacher told them they had to have! I don’t want my child to fail this project because you can’t find them.”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m not explaining this right. The Trojan War was about 4,000 years ago. That’s 2,000 years before Jesus was born. Photographs weren’t invented until the early 1800s, about 200 years ago. So, the Trojan War happened thousands of years before cameras and photographs were invented. That’s why there are no photographs.”

Customer: “The teacher specifically said photographs. Can’t you look again?”

Me: “You know what? I think there was a miscommunication with the teacher. I’m sure if you tell her what I just told you, everything will be fine.”

Customer: *near tears* “But the project is due tomorrow. What if you’re wrong?”

Me: “Tell you what. Why don’t you choose some of these pictures, anyway? I’ll write a note to the teacher explaining why you have them instead of photographs, with my name and phone number in case she has any questions. Teachers usually make exceptions when we explain why we aren’t able to get exactly what they require.”

Customer: “Then, it’ll be your fault instead of mine.”

Me: “Right.”

Customer: “Well, it’s not what I want, but I guess I don’t have a choice.”

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