Names Changed To Protect The Nice Ones

, , , , , | Right | April 30, 2021

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I’m here to pick up an order.”


Me: “Okay, who am I speaking to?”

Caller: “Jeff.”

It’s always a Jeff and we have many clients named Jeff. We have some nice Jeffs and some who are not so nice.

Me: “Jeff who?”

Caller: “Jeff. I ordered some hinges yesterday.”

Me: “Jeff, do you have an account with us?”

Caller: “No, I ordered soft-close hinges.”

Me: “Jeff, what is your last name so I can look up your order to see if it’s ready?”

Caller: “Look, you should know who I am. I called twice yesterday. I spoke to a man. Let me speak to a man.”

Me: “One second, sir.”

This could all have been prevented if the gentleman had introduced himself at the beginning of the phone call. Remember to do that when you call someone on the phone.

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You Have Become The Very Thing You Sought To Destroy! Part 2

, , , , | Right | April 5, 2021

I never thought I would be one of the pain-in-the-butt customers that I read about here. Never say never!

I go to a local gas station that offers a discount if you pay with cash. Before going on to prepay, I calculate the exact discount and how much I would need to request to get $10 in gas after the discount. It comes up to $10.68.

Me: “Can I get $10.68 on pump four?”

Clerk: “Sure.”

Here is where I have a brain fart. I hand her a $20 and she hands me a $10 back.

Me: “Wait a sec. I’m supposed to have another $0.68 more in change. I calculated it so I could get exactly $10 with the discount.”

Clerk: “No, you’re not. You have the correct change.”

This goes back and forth a couple of times with me getting more frustrated. 

Clerk: “Fine. Here’s your change, sir.”

She hands me the $0.68.

Clerk: *Mumbles* “Can’t come up short. I’ll just take it out of my pocket.”

Blissfully ignorant, I walk out and pump my gas. I relate the story to my husband and he looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Husband: “You know she was right, honey.”

Me: “What?! No, she… Oh. Oh, no. I’ve become what I hate!”

I run back into the store with the change in my hand.

Me: “I am sooo very sorry! I’m a complete moron! You were right. Here’s the change back.”

Clerk: *Scowls* “No problem, sir.”

Me: “Again, I am so sorry. I just did to you what has been done to me so many times that I can’t even count it.”

Clerk: “At least you came back and apologized. Most would have just left and still thought they were right.”

Whenever I went in after that, the clerk would get a little smirk when she rang me up. I’d just smile and not say a word. She and I knew what the smirk meant but it was never spoken of again.

You Have Become The Very Thing You Sought To Destroy!

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Can’t Walk A Mile In Those Charity Shoes

, , , , , | Right | April 1, 2021

I work at a thrift store that is known for being a non-profit organization. We get all of our items from donations, so we don’t go out and buy anything. Our prices are very cheap and have always been — $2 for a shirt, $3 for jeans, and so on. A customer places an item on the counter.

Me: “That’ll be ten dollars.”

Customer: “Ten dollars for a pair of shoes?!”

The shoes are brand new Converse that have never been worn; ten dollars is a steal!

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I thought this store used to help people!”

Me: “We do. All of our profits go to [Local Pregnancy Center]. We don’t keep a penny.”

Customer: “That’s still unacceptable; that’s too much for shoes.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, if we lowered the price, then the organization wouldn’t get as much.”

The customer decides that she doesn’t want the shoes anymore. She picks them up off of the counter, throws them at me, and storms out of the door.

Me: “Have a nice day!”

I haven’t seen her since.

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If At First You Don’t Succeed, Tribe Again, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | March 27, 2021

I work in a museum that focuses on the Cherokee nation. Most of the employees, including me, are Cherokee. Phenotypically, I look white, especially compared to a lot of my other coworkers. 

A guest comes in and starts talking to one of my coworkers. He follows her to the counter, turns to me, and sneers.

Guest: “Let me guess, white girl. You’re here because your great-grandmother was a Cherokee princess, right?” 

I look him dead in the eyes.

Me: “Actually, I’m here because I was born on the boundary and was raised here by my grandmother and father; both are enrolled members of the Cherokee nation. How else can I help you today?” 

He turned and left without buying the genealogy materials my coworker had tried to talk him into buying.

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Tribe Again

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Proofread The Room

, , , , | Working | March 15, 2021

At my job, we recently had several changes in policy. I have been fielding constant phone calls about them, on top of writing documentation explaining how to change software and Internet settings to be in line with policy.

One of my coworkers decides he needs to write documentation, too. He asks me about it while I’m on the phone and I wave him off, pointing to the phone attached to my ear. We need documentation for his area, but it’s VERY low priority at the moment.

He hovers over my desk while I’m on the phone for ten minutes. Then, he thrusts the document in my face and demands that I proofread it. I take the document.

Me: “I’ll look at it when I have time.”

And I turn back to answer another phone call. 

After an entire morning of being glued to the phone, I’m hangry and my bladder is about to burst. I’m not in the mood to deal with anyone and just want to take my lunch break to eat and decompress. 

Then, the coworker glides by.

Coworker: *Glibly* “Busy morning, huh? Guess you didn’t have a chance to read my document.” 

I bit my tongue and left quickly. But d***, coworker, read the room!

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