Movie Theater Employees Need To Be Avenged

, , , | Right | August 11, 2020

I’m in a theater watching “Avengers: Endgame.” As the end credits roll, I accidentally kick over my popcorn tub, spilling what’s left onto the floor. As I start cleaning it up, the lady sitting next to me stands up, looks at me, and says:

Customer: “Don’t worry about that; it’s their job to clean up after us.”

She then purposefully spilled some popcorn on the floor and walked out. I will never understand how some people can just be so rude.

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There Was A Time When Men Were Kind

, , , , , , | Right | August 9, 2020

I have worked at a movie theatre for the last few years. In that time, there have been fairly obscurely-named releases, but nothing that I would say was TOO difficult. We have a large LED screen on the wall behind our ticket box, displaying the movies playing and corresponding session times. Due to the large number of movies playing at this time, occasionally there are two “pages” of sessions, meaning that the sign will change every thirty seconds.

Me: “Hi! How are you?”

Customer: “I’m great, thanks. I’d like to see the movie above your head.”

I turn to look at the screen.

Me: “I’m sorry, there are more than a handful listed. Which one were you referring to?”

Customer: “Oh, for f***’s sake; it just changed. Can’t you just do your job and sell me the d*** ticket?”

Me: “Well, no. I apologise but I’m not a psychic. You have to tell me the name of the movie you wish to see. I’m more than happy to give you a quick description of the films we currently have playing so you can figure out which one it—”

Customer: “NO! I demand to see your manager.”

Me: “Actually, I’m the one in charge right now, and honestly, I don’t see the need for a manager to intervene. All I need to do is sell you your ticket and direct you to one of our theatres.”

Customer: “It’s one of those movies about the miserable lesbians.”

Me: *Stifling laughter* “I’m sorry, we don’t have a movie about miserable lesbians.”

Customer:You would know, wouldn’t you?”

Me: “Well, yes, I would. I’ve worked here for years and run the ticket box and the candy bar section, and if needed, I work on the floor, too. I don’t think that I would have missed a movie about miserable lesbians. Besides, if there was one, I would have taken my girlfriend to see it with me.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “It’d probably be titled, The Life And Times Of [My Name]. Maybe starring Katherine Moennig or Jodie Foster.”

Customer: “You’re one of them?

Me: “Look, I’m just trying to lighten the mood. Now, which movie was it you were after?”

Customer: “THE F****** MISERABLE LESBIANS ONE!”

Me: “Wait. Do you mean Les Misérables?”

Customer: “That’s not how you say it! You’re wrong.”

Me: “I assure you, it is. It’s French. It’s based on a French novel written in the 1800s, and the film adaptation still uses the same name.”

Customer: “I know what it’s called. Some of us are more culturally involved than others.”

Me: “Sure. Well, let me just process your ticket and—”

Customer: *while storming out* “No. I don’t want to see some French homosexual s***.”

Me: “Okay. Have a nice day!”

On that note, I think they should make a movie about miserable lesbians. I would happily play the main character.

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She Carried The Change Too Far

, , , , , | Right | August 5, 2020

A fifteen-ish-year-old girl comes to the counter with a box of candy.

Me: “All right, that’s going to be $3.75.”

Girl: “All right.” 

She hands me a five-dollar bill, and I give her $1.25 for her change. She gives me a weird look and then walks away to her friend. They talk for a while, and then the girl comes back to the counter.

Girl: “Shouldn’t I have gotten $2.25 back?”

Me: “You got [candy], right?”

Girl: “Yeah.”

Me: “And you gave me a five, right?”

Me: “Yeah, the candy was $3.75, so I gave you the right amount of change.”

Girl: “No, you didn’t. It should have been $2.25.”

Me: “Ma’am, even the register says it is $1.25.”

Girl: “But why?”

Me: “The candy was $3.75, the quarter makes $4, and the dollar makes $5.”

Girl: “Oh.”

She walks away, acting like I’m still wrong and she doesn’t want to deal with it anymore.

Coworker: “Did that just happen?”

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Getting Inside Does Not Guarantee Service

, , , | Right | July 29, 2020

I work at a movie theater. It is a Saturday morning and we’ve not yet opened. Our first show doesn’t start for almost an hour. I work in the box office and I’m getting everything set up. Behind me, the exit door is slightly ajar to allow employees to enter. All other doors are locked and the lights are off. Suddenly, a customer and a young child appear in front of my desk. 

Customer: “Why are your doors locked and the lights off?”

Me: “That’s because we’re not yet open, sir. May I ask how you got in?”

Customer: “We tried every door, and we saw that that exit was unlocked, so we came in. Are there any tickets left for this morning’s show of [Children’s Movie]?”

Me: “Sir, we are not open. I’m going to have to ask you to leave until we unlock the doors and are open.”

Customer: “But you’re here now, and we got in through a door! I want two tickets to [Children’s Movie]!”

I ended up having to call a manager to escort them out. He was only able to get them to leave after threatening to call the cops!

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There’s A Special Kind Of Hell For Those Who Talk In The Movie Theater

, , , , , , | Right | July 28, 2020

My wife and I went to a movie a while ago. During the previews, a younger couple came in and sat in the row behind us and off to one side a bit. The guy immediately pulled his cell phone out and started using it while the woman munched on popcorn and watched the previews.

Finally, the movie started and he still was on his phone. I was about to ask him to turn it off when it rang and he answered and started a very animated conversation with someone. I then told him to “Turn it off or leave!” and, after giving me a death glare, he whispered something to the woman. They got up and, with him still chatting on the phone, they began to leave… or so I thought.

Instead of leaving, they plopped down in some seats in the first row, him still chatting away. We could hear him from where we were. Several people seated nearby him asked him to turn the phone off but he ignored them. Finally, someone left and got a manager who came in and told him to leave.

He stood up, turned to face us all, and yelled, “THANKS FOR TOTALLY RUINING MY DATE!” Then, he stomped out of the theater with the woman sheepishly trailing behind to scattered laughter, jeers, and — for real — applause.

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