Unfiltered Story #192474

, | Unfiltered | April 27, 2020

(I was late in the pregnancy working concessions so my patience is at an all time low.)

Me: hi welcome to regal, can I offer you some candy to start?

Customer: no thank you, now I always get a hotdog and a small soda so I will try something different. How much does small popcorn and soda cost?

Me: um it’s (price) will you like butter with your popcorn ?

(This goes on for a lot of combinations for, I kid you not, ten minutes. And finally….)

Her: that’s too much money, how about cinnabun bites with a small soda?

Me: it’s (price) what kind of soda?

(She finally takes it pays and leaves…but wait, it gets better. She comes back…)

Her: these are too stale I’ll just get what I always get.

(At this point I’m shaking with anger and frustration and pregnancy hormones.)

Me: *grinding my teeth* yes, one minute ma’am. My manager watching the interaction with a grin..

Manager:* does the exchange* do you want to finish her trans…never mind take a ten…

Never saw the lady again. Still pissed.

There’s No Vaccine For Idiocy

, , , , , | Right | April 24, 2020

Like many other theaters, my theater has closed due to the outbreak. Staff members are still working our final scheduled shifts, though we are mainly focusing on cleaning, throwing out food that will expire, etc.

We aren’t open to the public and have notices on our doors explaining that we aren’t open. At around 7:00 pm, I hear frenzied knocking and see a frustrated man standing at the door. I walk over and crack the door open.

Me: “Um… can I help you?”

Customer: “[Movie] is opening tonight, and I wanna see it! Let me in! Why would you have the doors locked?!”

Me: “I apologize, but the theater is indefinitely closed due to the—”

Customer: “Bulls***! [Movie] comes out tonight!”

Me: “Sir, not only are we not open, but the studio pulled [Movie] from their release schedule. It likely won’t be out for several months, if not next year.”  

Customer: “But I saw a few weeks ago that [Movie] opened tonight!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you, [Movie] is not coming out tonight.”

Customer: “You’re not gonna let me in?!”

Me: “No, sir, I can’t let you in as we are not open and likely won’t be back open for several months.”

Customer: “Pfft! Good luck staying in business if you aren’t even gonna let people in to see movies!”

He stormed away. Of course, the last customer I dealt with before we closed down was an idiot. I just hope I don’t see him again once we reopen… whenever that may be.

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Unfiltered Story #192309

, , | Unfiltered | April 23, 2020

(I work at a cinema and it was the opening weekend for the movie Deadpool. Being a Marvel movie, many people were excited to see it, but with the R-rating it’s not appropriate for children.)

Customer: Hi! Three for Deadpool please!

Me: Alright, your total is-

I then notice she has two children with her, both clearly under the age of 10.

Me: Ma’am, I don’t mean to be rude, but I must warn you this movie is not appropriate for people under the age of-

Customer: Oh no you’re just saying that because you think the movie is awful.

Coworker #1: *after overhearing* Ma’am, my coworker here is telling the truth. It really isn’t-

Customer: NO. SHUT UP AND GIVE ME MY F***ING TICKETS.

Our manager overhears this and motions for us to let the lady and her kids through. The movie starts and the lobby clears out for a while. Ten minutes into the movie, the mother storms out with her two children in tow.

Customer: I WANT A REFUND.

Coworker #2: Ma’am I’m sorry, what was your problem?

Customer: THAT B**** SOLD ME TICKETS TO A MOVIE THAT WASN’T APPROPRIATE FOR MY SWEET ANGELS. ALL THAT SEX AND VIOLENCE AND SWEARING. YOU’VE RUINED THEIR LIVES.

Me: Ma’am I told you when you bought the tickets that the movie wasn’t appropriate, but you wouldn’t listen.

Customer: I WANT A REFUND.

As of now the kids are crying, the mother is threatening to call the cops, and my manager is just returning from his break.

Manager: What’s going on here?

Customer: SHE SHOULD BE FIRED. SHE RUINED MY CHILDREN’S LIVES BY LETTING THEM INTO THAT AWFUL MOVIE.

Manager: Ma’am my employee here gave you plenty of warning that this movie was-

Customer: F*** YOU ALL. I’M SUING AND CALLING THE COPS.

The customer stormed out with her kids. A cop did show up at the theater as I was getting off of my shift but he said the lady had reported us selling drugs to minors and had been waiting outside with her kids. When we explained the story to him he laughed and said he’d report this back to his chief. The lady was taken to the station by the other cop car that had come with the original cop. We gave him a free ticket voucher and a $10 concessions gift card for his troubles.

Military Intelligence That Skips A Generation

, , , | Right | April 20, 2020

I am working in the box office on a slow Sunday. Our theater chain offers online showtimes, ticket purchases, and information about each theater, when the location is chosen. A family of four approaches the box office and my coworker greets them.

Coworker: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I’d like four for [Movie], military discount.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, we don’t have a military discount.”

Customer: “Your site says you do.”

Coworker: “Some of our theaters do have the military discount, mostly ones near bases—”

Customer: *Interrupting* “Your site says you have it.” *Turning toward his son* “Show it to me.”

Coworker: “If you call our corporate office and complain, that is the only way we might get the military discount.”

The customer is not paying attention, forcefully telling his son to show him the site on his phone. By now, my coworker is getting understandably upset; she has tried explaining to the customer that the military discount is unavailable at our particular theater. I am trying not to laugh, because I understand that the father is calling his son out about being wrong.

Son: “See, it says right here!” 

The son holds his phone up and the customer looks at it.

Customer: “WISCONSIN?!”

Son: “What?”

Customer: “We’re not in Wisconsin!”

He turns back to my coworker.

Customer: “What time does the movie start?”

Coworker: “It starts at 7:25, sir.”

Customer: *Checks his watch* “All right, four for the movie.”

My coworker tells him the price and completes the transaction. As they pass through the doors, we hear the customer scolding his son sarcastically about “taking a road trip.” We’re silent until the doors shut behind them, and then I burst out laughing.

Me: “How did they get a Wisconsin zip code out of Virginia?”

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Their Dialogue Is In Homie-ostasis

, , , , | Right | April 16, 2020

I go to the movies with a friend of mine and we stand in line to buy some food. As the cashier rings my friend up, she realizes she doesn’t have enough money, so I intervene.

Me: “Yo, dude, just put it all with my stuff. We’ll pay together.”

Mortified at my use of slang, I apologize.

Me: “I’m so sorry. I totally didn’t mean to say that.”

Cashier: “That’s all right, homegirl. Will that be cash or debit?”

Me: “Debit, bro.”

Cashier: “You want your receipt, homie?”

Me: “Naw, dog, you can keep it. Thanks.”

My interaction with the cashier was probably more entertaining than the movie ended up being.

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