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Every Swirl Remembers Their First Time

, , , , , | Right | October 11, 2021

Unemployed and bored, I head to a movie theatre for an afternoon matinee. The place is very quiet as I walk up to the theatre’s frozen yogurt counter where there is a rather nervous teenage girl at the till and an older man back there near her.

Me: “Hi there. Can I get [regular swirl]?”

Cashier: “Certainly.”

She carefully pecks at the till, then tells me my total, takes my money, and turns to the man.

Cashier: “She wants a [regular swirl].”

Man: “Okay.”

He looks at her expectantly.

Cashier: “I’m not ready!”

She wails and the man looks at me.

Man: “Sorry, it’s her first real day here.”

He grabs for the cup and I call out.

Me: “No! I want her to do it.”

They both look at me in a bit of fear because I am a bit emphatic, but I continue. I look at the trainee.

Me: “Listen, you’re going to have to start doing this at some point.”

The fear in her eyes is adorable.

Me: “Why not start now?”

Cashier: “I don’t know how.”

I look over at the man.

Man: *Encouragingly* “Come on. Yes, you do.”

Me: “Come on. Whatever you manage, I’ll take it; no complaints. You gotta do it sometime.”

There was unbridled terror as she took the cup from the man and held it under the spout. The creation took forever and came out like a mangled pyramid, but it was what I wanted — if not a bit more than I wanted. She turned with embarrassment at her offering, but I took it, thanked her, and headed into my movie.

Everyone has a first day, and I figured she’d have to get into the meat of the job sooner rather than later. It’s probably best with someone more accepting and forgiving than most I see on NAR.

Save The Stunts For The Movie You’re About To See

, , , , | Right | October 8, 2021

I’ve just finished printing off pre-sale tickets for a customer and gesture the next customer up to the box office. He immediately gives me attitude.

Customer: “It’s ridiculous that I had to wait so long to get helped! I’ve been in line for at least fifteen minutes! I should get a discount or something!”

Me: “Sir, we opened less than five minutes ago and you’re only the third customer I’ve helped so far today.”

Customer: *Sheepish* “Oh.”

The rest of the transaction proceeded smoothly. I love the look on people’s faces when they try to pull a stunt like that and are immediately proven to have lied.

Keeps HAARPING On About It

, , , | Right | October 4, 2021

I’m working concessions when a customer approaches me.

Elderly Customer: “AARP says you offer discounts to AARP members.”

Me: “I apologize, but [Theater] has never had any sort of discount for members of the AARP.”

Elderly Customer: *Annoyed* “But AARP says you do.”

Me: “Again, I apologize… but we don’t.”

Elderly Customer: “Okay… but AARP says you do.”

Me: “Again… we don’t and never have.”

Elderly Customer: *Narrowing eyes in fury* “But AARP says you do.”

Me: “Ma’am… does it say ‘AARP’ on the front of the building?”

Resident: Customer: “No?”

Me: “Then it doesn’t matter what AARP says. We don’t and never have offered any sort of AARP discount.”

Resident: Customer: *Sighs* “But AARP says you do.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we just don’t.”

Resident: Customer: *Shouting* “BUT AARP SAYS YOU DO!”

The conversation continued to go in circles for about two minutes until the customer got fed up and left without purchasing anything. All I can figure is that either AARP said businesses like my job MIGHT offer discounts and she took it to be an absolute truth, or AARP has started to randomly try to bully businesses into offering discounts by promising them at places where they don’t offer them. Either way, my company certainly never had any sort of AARP discount.

Just Carry A Giant Purse Full Of Tacos Like A Normal Person!

, , , | Right | October 2, 2021

I was working the concessions stand at a movie theater. I noticed a man walk up to one of the trash cans and pull a large popcorn tub out of it. He looked inside, shook the contents out into the trash, and then approached me with the tub.

Man: “I’d like my free refill.”

Being a teenager that avoided confrontation, I filled the tub, but I made sure I poured the popcorn in without my scoop touching his trash bucket. He walked away happily munching on his ill-gotten corn.

Winner Of The “Father Of The Beer” Award

, , , | Right | September 24, 2021

I’m working concessions, trying to get my line down as quickly as possible. Two boys, maybe thirteen and fifteen years old, order two popcorn/drink combos, one with a soda, the other with a beer.

In Germany, you’re allowed to buy some “soft alcohol” (e.g. beer) when you’re sixteen, but of course, we’re supposed to confirm, and even though the older boy might be sixteen and just looked younger, I’m not so sure.

Me: “Can I see your ID?”

Boy: “Oh, it’s not for me; it’s for our dad. He’s already inside, saving our seats.”

This makes me suspicious. We have assigned seating — no need to save any seats — and what father would send his underaged son to get him some beer from the concession stand when the laws are pretty well-known?

Me: “Sorry, then I can’t sell you this beer. It’s against the law. I need to see that you’re over sixteen. Your father will have to buy it himself.”

The boy seems disappointed but nice about it. They both take their other stuff and leave. Two minutes later, a middle-aged man comes over, skips the whole line, and waves his ID in my face. He has a passive-aggressive smile that looks more like a snarl.

Man: *In a sarcastic, sickly-sweet voice* “So you need my ID, too?”

I blink at him in confusion for a few seconds in which he still bares his teeth at me. Finally, it clicks.

Me: “Well, I can see that you are over thirty.”

He just scoffed, still smiling, threw his money on the counter, took the bottle out of my hand, and storms off, leaving me utterly confused as to why he was so angry that his underaged son DIDN’T break the law by buying alcohol.