This Interaction Is Longer Than The Movie

, , , , | Right | June 24, 2018

(I’m working concession one day. Our theater is in a large plaza with other businesses. I live in a fairly well-known college town, so I often help guests who are foreign and have come to the US for schooling. I’m approached one day by a timid young man who speaks in broken English.)

Customer: “I… uh… Chinese buffet that used to be in the plaza?”

Me: “Oh, they closed about six months back, sorry.”

Customer: “Oh… any… others in area?”

Me: “There is one about two miles down the road. You turn out of the left side of the parking lot, and it’s pretty much a straight shot down the road.”

Customer: *friendly* “Okay, okay! Thanks!”

(He leaves. About ten minutes later, he wanders back inside and walks right up to me.)

Customer: “Too cold to walk!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “When does the bus come?”

Me: “Oh, I think there’s one like every half-hour. You can catch it at the stop a few stores down.”

Customer: “I must wait a half-hour?”

Me: “Yeah, you’ll probably have to.”

Customer: *slightly annoyed* “Okay, thanks.”

(He again leaves. About 20 minutes later, he walks back in, and walks right up to me.)

Customer: “You didn’t say I have to pay for bus!”

Me: “I’m… sorry?”

Customer: “Where again is buffet? I walk.”

(I explain again, and he leaves… about 45 minutes later, you guessed it! He returns.)

Customer: “Too cold to walk!”

Me: *annoyed by this point* “Look, sir, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what else to say.”

Customer: “You sell food, right?”

Me: “Yes, this is a movie theater, so we do offer concessions. Would you like something?”

Customer: “Chicken?”

Me: “We have chicken tenders, yes. Would you like some?”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “Would you like a drink with that?”

Customer: “Okay, coke.”

(I set his tenders to cook, and fetch him his coke.)

Me: “That will be $12.”

Customer: “No, shouldn’t be that much.”

Me: “Sir, this is a movie theater. Our concessions are expensive.”

Customer: *angry* “Fine! Fine!”

(He pays without protest. I hand him his drink.)

Customer: “Straws?”

Me: “They will be at the condiment counter in the corner.”

Customer: *shouting* “Oh. Pay a lot; I should get straw from you!”

(He wanders over to get his straw. In the meantime, his chicken finishes, so I hand it to him as he returns with his straw.)

Customer: “Very good! Knife and fork?”

Me: “Sir, this is a movie theater. Our foods are meant to be finger foods. We don’t have knives and forks.”

Customer: “This is very bad place! I don’t understand this place! Napkins?”

Me: *about to scream* “They’re back at the condiment counter, right next to the straws, sir. You were just in front of them.”

Customer: *annoyed* “This is very strange service for restaurant! I don’t agree! No knives? No forks? I must get my own napkin! This is very strange service! You‘re a bad man!”

Me: *annoyed* “Sir, this is not a restaurant! This is a movie theater! You’ve been coming in for over an hour now. You’ll need to leave if you keep coming up to me and delaying me from helping other guests without even buying a ticket.”

Customer: “Strange service!”

(I watched him sit for nearly an hour, slowly eating his chicken, before he finally left. I saw him about an hour later when my shift ended, still walking around nonsensically at the plaza, and he was still there when I got on my bus 15 minutes later.)

Rude Doesn’t Recognize Itself

, , , | Right | June 22, 2018

(I’m working in the concessions part of the theater, and there are only two cashiers, including me. Anyone that orders food from the kitchen is asked to wait all the way at the end of the registers for their food number to be called and delivered. There is a sign there that clearly says, “Hot Food Pickup.” There’s about seven people in my coworker’s line. My register is past my coworker, coming from the kitchen, so as I walk by, I gesture to the person immediately behind the people my coworker is already helping.)

Me: “Sir, I can help you right over here. Sir, welcome to [Movie Theater]; how may I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yes, can I have—” *gets about halfway through his order*

Customer #2: *to my coworker* “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I’ve been waiting in this line for five minutes and no one has come to help me, but that girl—” *points at me* “—just called the next person over from this line to walk over there!”

Coworker: “Um, I’m sorry, ma’am, but that’s not a line; that’s where people go to pick up their food.”

(My coworker looks over at me, baffled, seeing that there hasn’t even been a cashier near a cash register over on that side delivering orders in a couple minutes, only our manager passing out food.)

Customer #2: “Well, I want you to help me right now! My movie has already started! I’m about to never come back to this theater; the service here is horrible!”

Me: *listening as I’m filling up my next customer’s popcorn bag, I turn around* “Ma’am, I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but there are twenty minutes of commercials; there’s a good chance your movie hasn’t even started.”

(The rude customer ignores me and starts shouting orders at my coworker; she now has to apologize to the next people in line as she takes this lady. At this point she’s made so much of a scene other people in line start talking about her and pointing; everyone knows she’s the one who made the mistake, not us. [Customer #2] quickly snaps around to a younger couple who’s explaining what happened to an older couple that just came back from the bathroom.)

Customer #2: “Are you talking about me? How dare you?! It’s incredibly rude to point. What is wrong with people nowadays?! I don’t think I’ll ever come back here.”

(After [Customer #2] finally leaves, I go back to the kitchen to tell my manager what happened. Amazingly, he didn’t hear a thing, despite [Customer #2]’s loud voice.)

Manager: “Well, you know sometimes we get people here like that. They just don’t know any better.”

Me: “[Manager], if she had come up to me with that tone, my response would have gotten me fired on the spot.”

Totally Wade Wilson Worth It

, , , , , , | Learning | June 18, 2018

(This happens in college. I’m doing some homework in my dorm when my friend and roommate comes in.)

Friend: “Hey, do you want to see the movie The Witch with me tonight?”

Me: “That’s the horror movie that just came out, right? Sure. You wanted to see it?”

Friend: “A little, but the professor for my mythology and folklore course said we can get extra credit if we go see it, so it’s mostly that.”

(That night, we head to the movie theater. When we get there, I see a movie poster on the wall of the building for “Deadpool,” a movie we’ve both been very excited to see, and see that the release date was over a week ago.)

Me: *pointing out the poster* “I didn’t realize Deadpool was out already.”

Friend: “Me, either. Huh.”

(We go inside to wait in line, since we haven’t actually bought our tickets yet. Inside, there’s another very large poster for “Deadpool” that we can see from the line. After waiting in line for a couple minutes, my friend turns to me.)

Friend: “Hey, [My Name].”

Me: “Yeah?”

Friend: “Do you want to see Deadpool, instead?”

Me: “I was hoping you’d ask!”

(Needless to say, my friend did not end up getting the extra credit, but she had no regrets about watching “Deadpool,” which we both greatly enjoyed!)

Wants To Make Their Hot Chocolate Worth Waiting For

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2018

(Our cinema is showing a bunch of old films in the IMAX for a super-reduced price, for one day only, so we’re incredibly busy. Each screening of over 300 seats is practically sold out, so the other person on my area is called downstairs to help with serving. Even with every till on, the queues are 20 to 30 people long, and though they’re doing their best to be quick, there’s a pretty substantial wait in the queue. This is the story my coworker tells me when he gets back.)

Coworker: “Hey there. What can I get you today?”

Customer: “Do you serve hot chocolate here?”

Coworker: “Absolutely. Is that a large?”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll get it upstairs.”

Coworker: *confused* “I can do it here for you no problem.”

Customer: *having just stood in line for at least ten minutes to ask if we serve something* “No, it’s fine. I don’t want to waste your time.”

Accents Aren’t Horrible, People Are

, , , , | Right | June 13, 2018

(Due to family issues, I moved around every few years when I was younger so I don’t really sound like I’m from anywhere. Over the years, I’ve watched a lot of American and Canadian shows and I have a fair few American friends, so sometimes I can unintentionally talk with an American twang. Customers often ask where I’m from and are very surprised when I tell them the UK. I try my best to smile about it but I can often get very self-conscious about how I’m talking.)

Me: “Hello there. How can I help?”

Customer: *looking at me suspiciously* “Yeah… Can I have a popcorn combo?”

Me: “Regular or large?”

Customer: “I want someone else to serve me.”

Me: *panicking that I’ve accidentally insulted him in some way* “I’m sorry; is there a problem?”

Customer: “Your voice is too weird. I don’t want you serving me.”

Me: “Too weird?”

Customer: “I want someone else to serve me.”

Me: “Are you having trouble understanding me? I’m sorry. I’ve been told I can be hard to understand sometimes.”

Customer: “Just get someone over here who talks normal so I can get my d*** popcorn.”

(I am the only person on this area, so there is no one else to serve him, and we’ve got a popular film about to go in so we’re expecting a rush any minute.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The only other place you can be served by someone else is over there.” *pointing to nearby area that also serves everything I do*

Customer: *angrily* “F***’s sake! Just get me my food, and don’t talk to me while you do it!”

(I’ve had enough and honestly don’t feel like talking anymore at this point, so I just finish the transaction as quickly as I can and in silence.)

Customer: *having paid* “Get yourself one of those d*** speech therapists!” *storms off*

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