A customer comes out of the showing of ‘Godzilla: Minus One’ about ten minutes into the movie.
Customer: “When do they start speaking English?!”
Me: “They don’t.”
Customer: “They gonna speak Japanese the whole movie?!”
Me: “Yes, sir. Godzilla is a Japanese movie.”
Customer: “Since when?!”
Me: “…”
I am working the box office, selling tickets. It‘s very busy, and I have a line of about fifty university students. We offer a student discount, but of course, we require ID, and this is posted on a sign behind me, along with the movie times. Of course, customers never bother to read signs, so I have to ask every single person in line for their ID.
Only one guy, who was second to last in line, overheard me asking the person in front of him, so he had his ID ready to show me. He showed me his ID. I thanked him for having it ready, he paid and left. The next customers in line are a young black couple. I’m white, and so was the customer before them.
Me: “Are you students?”
Customer: “We are.”
Me: “May I see your IDs?”
The man is suddenly angry.
Customer: “You didn’t ask that guy for his ID!”
Me: “I didn’t have to, Sir. He already had his ID ready.”
Customer: “But you didn’t ask him! Why are you asking us, huh?!”
Me: *Getting frustrated.* “Again, I didn’t have to, because he was paying attention and already had his ID out. There were about fifty people in line before him, and I had to ask every single person for their ID. He actually read the sign.”
I point to the board with the policy about student IDs.
Customer: “But you didn’t ask him for his ID!”
This goes on for a while. Eventually, I just stare at him in silence and wait for them to show their IDs. They show them, they pay, I thank them, and they head off to the theater.
Later, my coworker who was working at concessions said the guy was laughing about it. He’d told him:
Customer: *Laughing at my coworker.* “I gave your coworker downstairs a hard time!”
I don’t know if they legitimately thought I was discriminating against them or if he was just joking around.
I’m going to see a movie in IMAX, and after scanning my ticket, I’m told to wait in a queue they have set up before going into the theater. I figure there is a good reason, so I do as the employee said, despite being the first one there.
A few minutes later, two older men bypass the line and start walking into the theater, so I politely let them know we have to wait.
Man #1: “What?”
Me: “Yeah, when I scanned my ticket, they said we had to wait in line.”
Man #2: “But we have assigned seats!”
Me: *Shrugs.* “So do I. That’s what the employee said, though.”
Man #2: “I’m going to go ask them about this.
[Man #1] seems confused, but gets in line behind me, while [Man #2] goes over to the ticketing employee.
Man #2: “That lady said we have to wait in line!
Employee: *Blinks* “Yeah.”
[Man #2] then proceeds to go on a rant about having assigned seats and it making no sense, and I watch as a security guard begins hovering around the area.
Finally, [Man #2] gets in line, but he isn’t letting it go so easily.
Man #2: *Grabbing the stanchion.* “Should I move this so everyone else is screwed with this stupid line?”
As he continues going on and on, I notice a couple of employees exiting the IMAX theater with trash cans and cleaning supplies. The ticketing employee then comes over.
Employee: “You can go in now!”
Man #2: “Oh, finally, we are allowed to enter the sacred room?”
Me: *Points.* “Yeah, they finished cleaning the theater.”
Man #2: “…oh.”
[Man #1] is desperately trying to stifle his laughter as we all enter the theater.
Neither of us has ever been big on going out and dealing with people, and prices have been going nuts when wages haven’t, so actually going out to the movie theater is a rare treat for me and my husband. We’ve sat down for the latest ‘Big Budget Superhero Spectacular’, and of course, there are three vaguely twelve-to-young-teen kids behind us, but so far, surprisingly well behaved and only making noises when EVERYONE in the theater is.
Hurray! And then I get a heavy bump on the back of my chair.
Like most theaters (at least in my area), this was all “enhanced comfort” seating, basically full recliners with plenty of legroom, so someone had to basically get up out of their chair to hit me, especially someone five feet tall or so.
Okay, maybe getting something they dropped, or going to the bathroom, or whatever.
Then a bit later I get another one… Maybe they were coming back.
Nope, then another one, and another immediately after. I turn around, and these kids are SITTING ON THE FLOOR, just so they can kick the chairs in front of them. The two people next to me are being saints about it; thankfully, they haven’t kicked my husband’s chair, or I’d have had to go visit him in prison. Me? I just turn around.
Me: “Hey, knock it off, and get back in your seats.”
Kid #1: “Nah!”
Kid #2: “We ain’t doin’ anything!”
Me: “Yes, you are. Knock it off, get back in your seat.”
I turn back around. Ten seconds later, he doesn’t just kick the back of the seat, he kicks the headrest that I am, in fact, resting my head on. I turn around.
Me: “KNOCK IT OFF, NOW, BEFORE I GET YOU ALL KICKED OUT OF HERE!”
Dad: “HEY, THOSE ARE MY KIDS!”
I look over to see the parents a few seats away; whether they did that intentionally, or just had to comply with the whims of what was available when selecting their seats, I don’t know.
Me: “Yeah, well, they’re kicking the whole row in front of them!”
The dad comes storming up, looking ready to jump rows… stops… and looks at the said kids. He then proceeds to GRAB each one in turn by the back of their shirts and DRAG them back into their seats!
I’d like to say I didn’t listen in on the barely whispered threats he gave those kids and just focused on the overdramatic nonsense in front of me, but he had some very CREATIVE word choices. He made sure the kids apologized to all of us on the way out. Worth it!
Our theater is showing ‘Jurassic World – Rebirth.’ Our theater makes sure that we have signs outside each theater that displays the age rating and the reasons why (ever since Deadpool). The sign outside all the Jurassic World theaters states:
Sign: “Jurassic World: Rebirth is rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence/action, bloody images, some suggestive references, language and a drug reference.”
Despite this, a woman storms out of the theater about twenty minutes into the movie, young boy in tow (maybe six or seven?) and demands to speak to the manager. After an extended and heated conversation, the manager authorizes a switch for them to go and see ‘Elio’ instead.
Manager: *Coming over to me.* “I swear… every time there’s a Jurassic movie.”
Me: “Dinos a little too intense for the kid?”
Manager: “Honestly, the kid seemed fine. It’s the mom who was a bit out of it. I pointed out the reasons it was PG-13, but she wasn’t listening. I actually asked her what she expected from the movie.”
Me: “If only there weren’t six other movies before this that helped set the tone.”
Manager: “She asked if we had ‘nicer’ movies where the dinosaurs were ‘nice to each other’. I think it’s her first time.”
Me: “First time watching a Jurassic movie?”
Manager: “First time watching any movie!”
Related:
Jurassic Lark, Part 5
Jurassic Lark, Part 4
Jurassic Lark, Part 3
Jurassic Lark, Part 2
Jurassic Lark
