The Scariest Part Of The Movie Is Right Next To You  

, , , , | Right | November 23, 2019

(I’m going to see “Insidious: The Last Key.” I’ve purposely planned to go in the middle of a weekday a few weeks after it’s opened so I can avoid dealing with obnoxious teenagers. When I buy my ticket, I’m so far the only one seeing the film. I get some popcorn, wander to the theater, and take my seat. A while later, right as the final preview has finished and the movie is about to start, one other person walks in: a man who looks to be in his 50s. Out of the hundred-or-so empty seats, he sits literally right next to me. I’m a little annoyed, as the theater has assigned seating, so he purposely chose to sit directly next to the only other person in there, but I don’t want to say anything. I figure maybe he just frightens easily, so he wanted to be near someone else or something. Still, it’s making me a tiny bit uncomfortable. About ten minutes into the movie, I start to very quietly munch on a few pieces of my popcorn, and every time I take a bite, he lets out a soft, annoyed sigh, just loud enough for me to hear, like he’s angry I’m eating the popcorn I bought. About another ten minutes later, I slightly shuffle myself in my seat to get more comfortable, again very quietly, which results in him letting out a more pronounced, annoyed sigh. Finally, a while later, I lightly jolt when a jump-scare happens in the movie. The man stomps his feet down, stands up, turns to me, and bellows.)

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?! I came to see a movie, not listen to some kid who can’t control himself! Where the f*** is your mother?!”

(I literally don’t know how to respond, so I don’t say anything and stare at him dumbfounded. He stomps out of the theater, and returns with a manager a few minutes later, ranting and raving about how much of a “distraction” I am, and demanding I be kicked out. At this point I should mention that I’m a regular at the theater and am quite friendly with the staff, so the manager immediately recognizes me.)

Manager: “Sir, I’m sorry, but he’s a regular and I’ve never had an issue with him.”

Customer: “Why do you let kids into horror movies?! They can’t behave themselves!”

Me: “I’m 32, dude.”

Customer: “Ugh… but… but… He’s eating popcorn!”

Manager: “Yes, sir, but there’s no rule you can’t eat popcorn.”

Customer: “He’s moving constantly and jumping around like a lunatic!”

Manager: *turning to me, slightly amused* “Have you been moving a lot?”

Me: “I mean… I kind of jumped at one of the jump-scares?”

Manager: *turning back to the man* “Sir, it’s a horror movie. I’m not going to kick someone out for jumping at one of the jump-scares.”

Customer: “It’s unacceptable!”

Me: *royally peeved* “If you can’t deal with any noise, then why the h*** did you choose to sit next to the only other person in the theater?!”

Customer: “I don’t have to answer any of your questions! I want this piece of s*** out! Now!”

Manager: “Sir, you need to calm down. Do not swear at me or other guests.”

Customer: “I WANT HIM OUT NOW, YOU B****!”

(The manager disappeared while the man literally stood over me, smiling like he thought he’d won. A minute later, the manager arrived with security and I was treated to seeing the man get kicked out of the theater without a refund, screaming the entire time. At that point, I was too rattled and angry to stay. I ended up switching out my tickets and seeing the next showtime a few hours later. The manager attempted to give me a bunch of free passes, but I felt bad and said no since it wasn’t the theater’s fault. It blows my mind how crazy some people are.)

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Unfiltered Story #177746

, , | Unfiltered | November 20, 2019

(It is a crazy busy night. We are sold out of three shows of a film that is showing only two days and we only have on concession stand and we ran out of a few food items and borrowed them from our theatre’s closest location, such as hot dogs and pretzels which both take a bit to cook. We are telling everyone that it may be upwards of 20 minutes for hot dogs).

Woman: Hi I’d like two hot dogs, a number one combo, and snickers bites.

Trainee: Okay, just so you know hot dogs will take about 20 minutes to cook because we ran out earlier and had to borrow them from our other location. Could I interest you in something else like nachos or pizza instead?

Woman: No I’ll just wait for my hot dogs.

Trainee: Okay, that will be [total]

(About 5 minutes pass and the woman comes to the girl’s register)

Woman: I’ve been waiting forever for these hot dogs! Why is this taking so long?

Trainee: I’m sorry. I told you that we had run out earlier and that it would take 20 minutes to cook them.

Woman: This is unacceptable. I’m going to bring my food up to my theatre and when I come back these hot dogs better be ready.

(About 5 more minutes pass and the woman returns cutting to the front of the line, still well under the 20 minute mark that this woman was given).

Woman: Where are my hot dogs?

(The Trainee calls me over as I am her trainer for the evening).

Me: What seems to be the issue?

Woman: I’ve been waiting forever for these hot dogs that this idiot sold to me.

Me: There is no need to call anyone here and idiot ma’am. May I please see your receipt?

Woman: (Throws crumpled up receipt at me) Here.

Me: Well it looks like the order was only processed about 10 minutes ago and I know we’ve been telling everyone that it would take upwards of 20 minutes for hot dogs. I do apologize but they are a very popular item and we actually ran out. We only got additional ones maybe 35 minutes ago and they take a while to cook.

Woman: This is b*******! I want my hot dogs! Get me my f****** hot dogs right now or I’ll have your a** fired!

Me: Well I checked the temperature of the hot dogs maybe 2 minutes before you came over here and yelled at my trainee. If you’d like to get food poisoning I’d happily give you your hot dogs. But the fact of the matter is they aren’t ready and I know you were told you’d have to wait as you paid cash and were given a pick up receipt.

Woman: This is unacceptable! Get me your manager.

Me: Not a problem.

(My manager comes over, she’s about 19, is very petite, but is one of the best managers I’ve ever had)

Manager: Hi I heard you asked for a manager, how can I help you?

Woman: I don’t want to speak to a f****** child! I want a real manager!

Manager: Ma’am I am the manager on duty for the evening. And if you continue to curse like this I will have to ask you to leave this building. You can either wait patiently like everyone else, you can leave, or I can give you a refund on the item. But I cannot have you standing here cursing at my employees.

(After a few more minutes of arguing the woman got her refund, for her entire order rather than just the hot dogs. She called the theatre a few days later when I was in our customer service department and asked to speak to our GM because we were violating her freedom of speech by asking her not to call people idiots and curse and child labor laws by employing a child as a manager)

Unfiltered Story #177726

, , | Unfiltered | November 18, 2019

My theater recently started having a student discount for tickets, and now this happens at least 5 times a day.
Me: And are you a student so you can get our student discount?
Customer: You mean, student , like, do I go to school?
Me: *face palm*

Unfiltered Story #177710

, , | Unfiltered | November 17, 2019

(This was a few years ago when I worked at this particular movie theatre. For fun, and to pass the time and amuse my coworkers, I would sometimes use fake accents ranging from American Southern to Australian. On this day I was using an Australian accent when a customer comes up to the concessions counter where I’m working)

Me: (with Australian accent) Hello! What can I get for you today?

Customer: (with ACTUAL English accent) Just a large popcorn and a large drink please.

(At this point I’m trying not to panic because I don’t know if he can tell if I’m faking or not)

Me: A Large combo. Would you like butter on your popcorn?

Customer: Yes please. (pause) You must be an Aussie.

Me: (now trying not to laugh) Yes I am.

Customer’s Wife: (American) Oh that’s cool! Do you get mistaken for British sometimes?

Me: Every once in a while, yeah.

Coworker: Yeah, sometimes we call him Wally!

Customer: Yeah, Americans can’t really tell the difference between English and Australian accents. Aussies are more nasally I find.

Me: Well your not wrong there. Here’s your popcorn and drink and enjoy your film.

(The customer and his wife walk off)

Me: I’ll be in the break room for a little bit.

Coworker: (laughing) That’s fine.

(I then spend five or so minutes laughing my ass off in the break room because I successfully fooled an Englishman into believing I was Australian)

BFF = Barely Friends, Frankly

, , , , | Friendly | November 15, 2019

(I am in the last few lingering weeks of high school and waiting for life to begin. I have a “BFF” who I love with my whole heart; we have experienced so much together over our formative years and thought we’d be besties for all our lives, be each other’s bridesmaids, have kids together, and go and be old ladies in a nursing home together. However, the last couple of weeks, I haven’t seen much of her and she’s been really weird to talk to. I’ve also had her boyfriend — another good friend of mine — on the phone to me in tears because she’s ghosting him, too. I’m working at a cinema taking tickets when who should wander up but my “BFF” and some guy from school, holding hands and giggling together. She looks up and sees me and looks furtive, but says hi and hands me the tickets. The tickets are for an 18+ movie, which she is not; nor is the guy. My mind is racing and my heart is kind of falling apart a bit.)

Me: “Um…”

BFF: *gives me a hopeful “go on” smile*

Me: “Um, I’m going to go and clean somewhere. Why don’t you go for a walk and come back in five minutes when someone else is here?”

(BFF looked surprised but said, “Okay,” and walked off, and I didn’t see them again that night. I don’t know how they bought the tickets without ID, I don’t know why they thought I was going to just smile and let them in, I don’t know why they chose to come to my cinema on a night she knew I was working, and I don’t know if this is a NAW, NAR, or NAWhat. I do know that I never really spoke to her after that — having spent the last five years speaking multiple times a day — and that she broke up with her boyfriend in the next couple of weeks — he found out about the other guy before I could tell him. When you’re a teen you think you have the world sorted out… until you don’t.)

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