Making No Concessions For Your Stupid

, , , | Right | May 30, 2017

(I’m working the concession stand at our movie theater. We have a display of candy. A man who appears to be in his mid-40s, who has just purchased a ticket, walks up to the display, takes about $30 worth of candy, smiles at me, then simply walks away.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir. Did you pay for those already?”

(The customer turns, dumbfounded, and presents me his ticket receipt. I look at it.)

Me: “Sir, this is a receipt for a ticket.”

Customer: “Yeah. No duh! The guy who sold me this said I could get candy from you.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I can sell you candy here, but you actually have to pay for the candy. It’s not free.”

Customer: *immediately becoming irate* “You’re f****** kidding me, right?! He said you’d give me candy!”

(I turn to my coworker selling tickets nearby and signal him over.)

Me: “Hey, the customer is saying that you implied he could get candy for free?”

Coworker: “No, I didn’t. I told him he could buy candy from you at concession!”

Customer: *screaming* “Yeah, exactly! You didn’t tell me I had to pay! You f****** lied to me!”

Coworker: “I said he could sell you candy. That implies you’d pay for the candy.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t!”

Coworker: “The word ‘sell’ implies that you’d pay him for the candy.”

Customer: “NO… IT… DOESN’T! I want this for free because you NEVER said I’d have to pay for it!”

Me: “Sir, the candy is all clearly priced. Nowhere is there anything that implies you can have it for free.”

Customer: “Fine!”

(He throws the candy onto the counter in front of me and storms off.)

Me: “I’ve never seen anything quite like that.”

Coworker: “Oh, that happens about once a week here, usually on weekends.”

Me: “You’re kidding?!”


Coworker: “Sadly not.”

Don’t Need To Consult A Medium To Know This Is A Scam

| Newport, KY, USA | Right | May 26, 2017

(While working in the concession stand, I unfortunately get an unwanted customer in my line. Once or twice a week, he comes in and starts an argument with whoever is working concession so he can get free food and/or tickets from the manager.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “ICEE.”

Me: “Large or small?”

Customer: “Medium.”

Me: “We only have two sizes. Large or small?”

Customer: “Medium.”

(I know exactly where this is heading and I am already getting frustrated.)

Me: *holding out the two cup sizes* “Do you want the 30 ounce or the 44 ounce?”

Customer: *now with an arrogant smirk* “Medium.”

Me: *setting down the cups rather forcefully* “All right, look: I’m back here alone because I’ve got two concessionists out with the flu. There are nine people in line behind you and in less than half an hour, we’ve got a 260-person rental group coming that I will not be able to prepare for. I don’t have the time or patience to deal with this stupid scam you run every time you come in. Now either place a real order or make way for someone who will.”

(He said something back to me, but I couldn’t hear it. The people in line behind him were applauding me. Like most scammers who get called out on their crap, he was extremely angry and spoke to the manager before he left. While I did get in trouble for my outburst, it was worth it; he never came back again.)

Dispense With This Customer

| Bakersfield, CA, USA | Right | May 21, 2017

(The condiments station has a napkin dispenser that dispenses napkins one at a time. This prevents customers from taking a huge stack and leaving it in the auditorium.)

Customer: “Excuse me, how do I get napkins?”

Me: “Here you go.” *I pull a napkin out of the dispenser to show him where they are*

Customer: “How do I get more napkins?”

(I pull more napkins from the dispenser and hand them to him.)

Customer: “No, I want more napkins.” *he attempts to put his fingers into the side of the dispenser to pull out multiple napkins and fails terribly*

Me: “Sorry, they really only come out one at a time.”

(He gave me an irritated look and ended up walking away with no napkins at all.)

His Comprehension Is Tiny

| CA, USA | Right | May 10, 2017

Me: “Theater is number four to your left. Enjoy the show!”

Customer: “Boy, you are so tiny!”

Me: “Um… thanks.”

Customer: “I could pick you up with one arm!” *stretches out his arm to me* “Here. Hold on to my wrist. I’m gonna pick you up with one arm!”

Me: “No, thanks… Enjoy the show.”

Customer: “I could hold you over my head like a trophy! I bet I could throw you like 10 feet!”

(He continues to express to his friends how small I am until he’s out of earshot. Two hours later he’s leaving through the doors on the other side of the lobby.)

Customer: “Hey, tiny!” *he pumps his arms up and down over his head like a Donkey Kong barrel*

Customers Ensure There Is No Calm Before The Storm

| NY, USA | Right | May 7, 2017

(There’s a winter storm on the way that’s expected to dump about four feet of snow on us over the next few days starting around midnight. Naturally, schools and businesses are starting to pre-emptively close for the following day, especially as a state-of-emergency has just been issued and there’s early talk of a non-essential travel ban for non-emergency vehicles being issued the next day if it gets as bad as is being predicted. We have to make the call to close the theater down the following day due to the expected unsafe travel conditions and the potential for the travel ban, and we disable online ticketing sales for the next days. We’re also told not to sell advance tickets for the next few days in-theater. At the tail-end of my shift, a woman comes barging into the theater, clearly miffed.)

Me: “Hey there. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! I had to drive 45 minutes to get here because your stupid website isn’t working! Do you know how inconvenient that is?!”

Me: “Oh, jeez. I’m sorry. Well, what can I get for you.”

Customer: “I need six tickets for [Movie] tomorrow afternoon!”

Me: “Oh, I understand. Unfortunately, our website is not allowing guests to purchase tickets for tomorrow as the theater won’t be open with the winter storm hitting tonight.”

Customer: “What?! No. You’re open!”

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, management has already made the call. We won’t be open tomorrow, and it’s possible it will be a few days before we can safely open back up. The storm is supposed to be pretty bad. They’re even talking about issuing a travel-bad for non-emergency personnel.”

Customer: “No, I’m telling you that you’re open, because I’m telling you to sell me tickets. And I expect someone to be here to let me in!”

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s not going to be possible, ma’am. I’m really sorry.”

Customer: *seething* “No. You don’t understand. I give you cash now. You sell me tickets. I come in tomorrow. And you have to be here to let me in. I don’t give a damn about the weather. I don’t give a damn about some non-existent ‘travel-ban.’ And I don’t give a damn about how hard it is for you. You have to be here to let me in to see [Movie]. I promised my kids they’ll be seeing [Movie] tomorrow. And you’re not stopping me. Comprendé?”

Me: “I understand your frustration, but there’s really nothing I can do. We’re not allowed to sell tickets for tomorrow as we’re not going to be open.”

Customer: “JUST SELL ME THE F****** TICKETS!”

Me: “Ma’am, please do not swear. This is a family establishment. And it’s completely out of my hands. I cannot sell you tickets.”

Customer: “Yes, you can, and you will! And YOU better be here tomorrow! If you are going to be so f****** difficult, YOU are going to be the one to suffer!”

(I’ve had about enough, so I get my manager and explain the situation. He gets a devilish smile and gives me the go-ahead to sell her tickets — but only on the condition that she acknowledges that she will not get a refund if we’re not open that day — which is a decision that was already made. I go back to the customer, and she seems ecstatic that she’s “won,” and immediately agrees with the condition.)

Customer: *as she leaves; beaming* “See you tomorrow! Remember, YOU better be the one to be here!”

(I didn’t see her the following day… or the next few days as the weather got so bad, the theater was closed until the weekend, along with basically every other business in the area. And I asked my manager… she apparently never came back. Hopefully because she realized how insane she was.)

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