(A young boy—about seven or eight years old—walks up to my register. He is all alone, and without his parents.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

(The boy puts $7 on the counter.)

Boy: “Hi, ma’am, do I have enough money to buy this candy?”

Me: “Yes, you do, and you have some left over!”

Boy: “Oh, really? Well do I have enough to buy two?”

Me: “Yes, you do!”

Boy: “Alright, I’ll get two! My brother is sick today, and he couldn’t come to the movie. I want to get him something so he doesn’t feel left out.”

Me: “That’s very nice of you!”

Boy: “I just felt bad for him. Well, thank you very much, ma’am. I really appreciate it. Have a good day!”

(He is the nicest customer I have all day, not to mention the youngest!)

(A mother and her six-year-old child approach the concession at around 7:00 PM.)

Child: “I want a coke!”

Mother: “No, sweetie, you can’t have caffeine. Would you like some root beer instead?”

Child: “Okay!”

Me: “Oh, actually, this brand of root beer does have caffeine.”

Mother: “Shush! Work with me here.”

Me: “Um… okay?”

(I proceed to make the drink. The child wanders a short distance away, looking at a poster.)

Me: “So, why do you not want him to know it has caffeine?”

Mother: “Well, it’s all psychological, like a placebo. I don’t want him up all night!”

Related:
Placebo Me, Part 6
Placebo Me, Part 5
Placebo Me, Part 4
Placebo Me, Part 3
Placebo Me, Part 2
Placebo Me

(It is a busy weekend. I have been left alone at the register during a rush. I have had several drinks spilled on myself and my register terminal, and have had countless angry customers berate me. By the time the rush dies down, I am on edge. A couple approaches my till.)

Me: “Welcome to [theater]; can I help you with anything today?”

Wife: “Our movie doesn’t start for a half hour.”

Me: “I… um… to be honest, ma’am, I don’t know what to do about that.”

(I wait for her to start swearing at me, but instead, she and her husband laugh.)

Wife: “Oh, no! We were just letting you know that we’re in no rush, and not buying anything right now. We’re not complaining!”

Husband: “We’re definitely not complainers. We’ve been behind the counter, and we understand.”

Me: “Oh, okay!”

Wife: “That’s a stupid thing to complain about, anyway! Do people actually complain about things like that?”

Me: “I’ve had stranger. A woman reported me for being too nice.”

Husband: “Well, she was just plain salty, wasn’t she?”

(They strike up a conversation with me for fifteen minutes about candy and customers, and the military pins on my lanyard. When their movie ends, they smile and wave goodbye. They completely turn around my evening, and I complete the shift in a brighter mood. A little kindness goes a long way!)

(I am a female cleaning the men’s washroom at a movie theatre. I have a large ‘closed for cleaning’ sign posted on the door. A male customer enters.)

Me: “Hi, sorry, I’m just cleaning at the moment—”

Customer: “That’s okay.”

Me: “I’ve opened the wheelchair accessible washroom across the hall. You can—”

Customer: “No, no, it’s fine.”

(He goes to a urinal and begins to unzip his fly. Admitting defeat, I begin to leave.)

Customer: “Please, I don’t want to put you out. You can go ahead and clean.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not going to stay in here while you’re using the urinal.”

Customer: “Why? I really don’t mind.”

Me: “I do.”

Customer: “Why?”

(I work in a deluxe cinema, where we provide waiting service in the screen. The trailers are on, and it’s quite loud. I’m serving an elderly couple.)

Me: “And what would you like to drink, sir?”

Husband: “Tea!”

Me: “Is that English breakfast?”

Husband: “No! Tea!”

Me: “Yes, but is that the normal English tea?”

Husband: *sighs heavily* “No! Tea!”

Wife: “He’s asking what kind of tea you want, you tit!”