O, Canaduh, Part 11

, , , , , | Right | July 3, 2020

I work at a car rental agency, and I am going about my regular workday. We have a short script-like thing we have to go through, including asking if the customer is taking the vehicle across the border into Canada. Some days are harder than others.

Me: “Are you taking the vehicle up to Canada at all?” 

Customer: “No, no, no Canada. Just Vancouver for a day.” 

Me: “Vancouver, Canada?” 

Customer: “Yes, just for a day.” 

Me: “Okay, so you are taking the vehicle to Canada.” 

Customer: *Blank stare*

Me: “Right, I’m going to get you the paperwork you need for Canada.” 

O, Canaduh, Part 10
O, Canaduh, Part 9
O, Canaduh, Part 8
O, Canaduh, Part 7
O, Canaduh, Part 6

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There Are Idiots Wherever You Rome

, , , , , , | Friendly | June 27, 2020

I am from England, and a friend and I have travelled to Florida for the first time. We’ve been to several theme parks at this point, I think about five days into our holiday. We are at a theme park with various countries set around a lake.

We’re in the queue to meet one of my all-time favourite characters, this one based in the “Germany” pavilion. We’re talking to pass the time, and naturally, people queuing with us hear our accents.

Lady: “Oh, we love your accent; where are you from?”

Me: “England.”

We start talking about England. I am about to explain that we come from an area about ninety minutes or so from London when I get asked this gem.

Lady: “How far away is Rome?”

I blinked at first, slightly confused, as we’d been talking about England. It turned out this person was serious and assumed Rome was somehow in England, and they were shocked when I said you needed to fly there as it was another country.

I politely told the lady to take the time to look at a map of Europe as a whole. I didn’t have time to show them myself. I’m not sure they ever did. I do often wonder why some people seem so unaware of the world outside the USA; I’ve read stories on here, but I still find it baffling.

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Zero Lying Going On Here

, , , , | Right | June 22, 2020

I am working at the front desk at a hotel.

Caller: “Can you tell me how far your hotel is from Mustang Island?”

Me: “We are on the island.”

Caller: “Yes, but how far away is the island from the hotel?”

Me: “Like I said, we are on the island.”

Caller: “Look, I don’t think you understood. How… far… are… you… from… Mustang… Island?”

I give up.

Me: “Um… less than a mile.”

Caller: “See, was that so hard?” *Hangs up*

Coworker: “Did they really not get it?”

Me: “Nope. But at least I didn’t have to lie to them; zero is less than one mile.”

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They Need A Word Filter

, , , , | Right | June 15, 2020

I live in a state that has a rather unique dialect which can lead to confusion.

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, do you carry Briters?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what was that again?”

Customer: “Briters.”

Me: “I’ve never heard of that before. Could you describe what a briter is so I can point you in the right direction?”

Customer: “You know, Briter water filters, for purifying tap water.” 

Me:Oh! You want Brita water filters.”

Customer: “Yes, that’s what I said.”

Me: “Right this way.”

Customer: “You’re not from around here, are you?”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I was born and raised in this state.”

Customer: “That’s impossible! You don’t talk like you’re from around here at all! You have to be from outta state!”

Me: “I can assure you, ma’am, I’ve lived in this state my entire life.”

Customer: “That’s not possible!”

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It’s Not Just Americans Who Don’t Know Anything

, , , , | Learning | June 11, 2020

I’m studying abroad and am at the first orientation for international students. Our first session had everyone together, but we are told to go to two different rooms based on if we are from a country in the EU.

I get out of my seat to leave when the guy next to me — a stranger — gives me a hopeless look.

Stranger: “I don’t know where to go.”

Me: “No problem. You go to room one if you are from the EU and room two if you’re not.”

The stranger gives me a blank stare.

Me: “The EU?”

Stranger: “…”

Me: “European Union? A blue flag with stars?”

Stranger: “…”

Me: “Never mind. Where are you from?”

Stranger: “Turkey.”

Me: “Cool, follow me.”

I thought it was an English thing, but I got to know him, and nope, he genuinely didn’t know if Turkey was in the EU or not.

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