Brain Freeze

, , , | Right | January 29, 2019

(I work at my local cinema. This day my till is the furthest away from the ice cream counter but ice cream can be sold at any till. I sell a guest a two-scoop tub of ice cream.)

Me: “All right, I’ll meet you down at the ice cream counter so you can choose your ice cream.”

(I walk down to the ice cream counter and get the scoop ready just to see the guest still standing at my till. I wait a few moments and she finally realizes.)

Guest: “Sorry, I didn’t realise I needed to come down as well.”

Me: *internally* “Sorry, I haven’t quite mastered telepathy yet.”

Unfiltered Story #138441

, , | Unfiltered | January 29, 2019

It was the opening of R-Rated movie a very adult nature when a family approached the box office. Two parents and two children under 10.

Male Guest: We’d like two adults and two kids to [Movie].

Me: Just to let you know, this movie is rated R for graphic nudity and sexual content and is not appropriate for young children.

Male Guest: These kids see worse than that at home. Just give me the d*** tickets and stop trying to parent my children.

I sold them the tickets and told our security officer, who also happened to be a county sheriff, about the situation. Not sure what happened, but we never did see that family again.

Not Really Applying Themselves To The Application

, , , , , , | Working | January 25, 2019

Applicant: “Hey, do you guys have any job applications?”

Me: “Yeah, sure. Hold on.”

(I pull an application and a pen out from behind the concierge desk, and he takes it over to the corner and begins to fill it out. After a few minutes he calls me over.)

Applicant: “Hey, can you help me with this?”

Me: “I guess. What do you need?”

Applicant: “I’m trying to figure out what it’s asking me here.”

(He then points to the section of the application labeled “Employment History.”)

Me: “Seriously? They just want you to list down the previous places where you used to work.”

Applicant: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

(I then spend the next five minutes walking him through that section of the application, where to write down where his previous job was, how long he worked there, etc. Thankfully, it is a slow day, so I don’t have to worry about customers. When he finally finishes the application, I take it up to the manager’s office.)

Me: “I should warn you about this guy. He seems easily confused. He didn’t understand the employment history section, and I had to hold his hand through the whole thing.”

Manager: *looks at the application* “Oh, yeah. I remember this guy. I interviewed him a few months ago. Yeah, you’re right. He is easily confused.”

Me: “Wait… He’s filled this out before?!”

Old Ladies… Uh… Find A Way

, , | Right | January 24, 2019

(A coworker and I are working box office one night. This particular summer night we are open late for a midnight premiere, but with fans also come the weirdos. Three ladies, probably in their 50s and obviously intoxicated, approach my till.)

Customer #1: “Hi. We’ll take three senior citizens for [Movie #1], please.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but our last showing for [Movie #1] was at six. We do, however, have a showing for tomorrow at—“

Customer #1: *interrupting* “Okay, well, how about three tickets to [Movie #2].”

Me: “I’m sorry, that movie comes out tomorrow and we don’t have a showing for today.”

Customer #1: “Well, you are showing [Early Premiere Movie], so why not [Movie #2]?”

Me: “[Early Premiere Movie] is an extremely popular film that gets to premiere early for fans. [Movie #2] isn’t as big.”

Customer #2: “Okay, okay, don’t listen to her. We want three tickets to [Movie #3].”

Me: “We can definitely do that. That’ll be $32.85.”

Customer #3: “What?! I am not paying that much to go see a movie.”

(The three begin discussing their plans. Eventually, [Customer #3] turns to me.)

Customer #3: “So, we’re gonna go bowling. Do you know of any bowling places that have a bar?”

Customer #2: “What do you mean, any bowling places with bars? He’s not a day over thirteen; he doesn’t know anything about drinking.”

(After this, [Customer #2] notices my name tag, showing that my favorite movie is ‘Jurassic Park.’)

Customer #2:Jurassic Park is your favorite movie? How old are you? That movie wasn’t even out when you were born!”

Me: “I’m seventeen, and yes, it was. It was released in 1993; I was born in 1998.”

Customer #2: “See, you can’t like that movie; you weren’t even born when it came out.”

(I stare, kind of dumbfounded, as my coworker is trying to keep her laughter inside. Luckily, [Customer #3] finds a nearby bowling alley and bar that is open.)

Customer #3: “Okay, ladies, I found one; let’s leave babyface here.”

(The three women left the theater and my coworker let out all her chuckles. I told my supervisor, who also lost it, eventually leading to my nickname that lasted until the day I left: Babyface)

Sadly, They Tell You To Your Face

, , , | Right Working | January 23, 2019

(I have what I like to call “resting b**** face.” My resting face naturally just makes me look angry, whether I’m sad or happy or even actually mad. I tend to get odd comments while I’m at work — at a movie theater — whether it’s from coworkers or customers. I am ripping tickets and an older gentleman approaches.)

Me: “Thank you, sir. Theater three is going to be on your left.”

Customer #1: “Oh, thank you, sweetheart.”

(He starts walking to his theater, but then stops directly next to me.)

Customer #1: “You know, honey, you’d be a lot prettier if you smiled.”

Me: *forces a smile* “Enjoy your movie, sir.”

(A customer is walking towards my register while I’m working concessions one night. I give them a little smile and return to my resting face when they come up.)

Customer #2: “Wow, you do not look happy to be here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, it’s just my face, ma’am. What can I get for you?”

Customer #2: “I mean, really. You really should smile more. It’s unnerving.”

Me: *screaming internally*

(I’m in the break room, while on my break — of course — and a coworker walks in so they can clock off of their shift as I’m getting up to get a drink.)

Coworker: “Oh, [My Name], are you okay?”

Me: “Yeah, why?”

Coworker: “I don’t know; you just look mad. Like someone said something really irritating to you or something.”

Me: “Nope, just my face.”

Coworker: “Are you sure? ‘Cause you just look really mad right now.”

Me: “I’m fine, really.”

(I give them a reassuring smile, since I know that sometimes helps.)

Coworker: “If you say so… But like, let me know if anyone else pisses you off. I’ll fight them for you.”

Me: *fighting the urge to actually scream externally*

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