They Saw The Light

| Working | March 26, 2017

(I have been using the same garage for years; they give a good discount and are really flexible. There hasn’t been a problem until today.)

Mechanic: “Well, the car has failed the MOT.”

Me: “Oh great. What for?”

Mechanic: “Well, you had a bulb out on one side. If both sides were out it would be okay, but they need to be the same.”

Me: “Oh, okay, that is easily fixed. I will unplug one of the others.”

Mechanic: “Yeah, you could do that… Oh, it failed on light alignment. They have been fitted really poorly. Did you do it yourself?”

Me: “No, you guys did it.”

Mechanic: “Ah, okay. Give me one second.”

(I wait 15 minutes.)

Mechanic: “If you leave the car here it will be retested within the hour.”

Me: “Okay. How much for the retest?”

Mechanic: “Oh, I, err, don’t worry about that.”

(True to his word, the car was re-tested and even cleaned well before the hour was up and for free. I never got questioned about the lights again.)

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Tire Of These Scams

| Working | March 20, 2017

(My sister is babysitting me while getting her car serviced and MOT’d. The garage she has it done at doesn’t have the tires she uses so she is sent to a recommended garage. While my sister isn’t the brightest at times, one thing she is an expert on is cars.)

Sister: “Yes, I just need my front passenger side tire changed with [Make], please.”

Mechanic: “We can check all your tires, just to be sure.” *winks*

Sister: “No. I just need the one, thank you.”

Mechanic: “Sure… I’ll do the full check, just for you.” *winks*

(We both get a bad vibe from him, but my sister just shrugs. He comes back ten minutes later.)

Mechanic: “Looks like you need four new tires. They’re all below the limit. I can’t legally let you leave on those. I recommend [Expensive Make], as they’re more durable than your own.”

Sister: “May I?”

(She extends her hand for the clipboard the mechanic is using. He offers it and she examines it.)

Sister: “Okay, we’re going to go out to my car, and this time we’ll check my tires together.”

Mechanic: “I don’t think that’s necessary—”

(My sister is already through the door, me closely behind. The mechanic reaches us as we get to her car.)

Sister: “Go on, then.”

(The mechanic grudgingly kneels down and does the check. My sister kneels down and grabs his instrument before he finishes and does her own check.)

Sister: “This is how you check tire tread.”

Mechanic: *wide eyed* “H-how do you know that?”

(My sister ignored him and finishes her own check, compares the two measurements and motions for me to get in the car.)

Sister: *handing empty clipboard* “[Garage] will be very interested to see these.” *gets in car*

Mechanic: “They would even know what you’re talking about, stupid b****!”

Sister: “I think they will, given I’m best student they’ve had.”

(We left and dropped by my sister’s garage. She handed the inspection sheets over and disappeared from view for a few minutes. When she got back she said one thing to me: “blacklisted.” The formerly recommended garage was closed due to bankruptcy within a year, as no one would touch it.)

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Driving Home The Point

| Working | October 6, 2016

(It is the Monday before Thanksgiving. My car has been making a horrible scraping noise for a few days, so I take it into my regular mechanic. I explain the symptoms and hand over my keys so he can see for himself. After a few minutes of test driving the car, he takes it into the shop, pulls something out of the bottom of it, and parks it back out front.)

Mechanic: *handing my keys back* “You’re all set. Have a happy Thanksgiving.”

Me: “Oh! Great! What was wrong?”

Mechanic: “The heat shield fell off and was bouncing around. There wasn’t enough of it left to salvage, but it’s okay.”

Me: “Okay! What do I owe you?”

Mechanic: *with a straight face* “You got a couple million?”

(I am very slow when it comes to figuring out whether or not other people are joking. I kind of just stare at him for a minute in response.)

Mechanic: “What, you’re not related to Trump?”

Me: “No, sir!”

Mechanic: *grinning* “Then have a happy Thanksgiving!”

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Can’t Get Unstuck From Them

| Working | June 13, 2015

(I get my car inspected in another state at [Bad Repair Company]. I suspect it has issues and it fails the inspection. The registration is also soon to expire, but not for another month.)

Employee: “We can fix it for $300.”

Me: “What? No. I’ll take it up the road. Wait, where’s my registration sticker?”

Employee: “We have to scrape all stickers. It’s the law.”

Me: “No! I need the registration sticker. Even after it’s repaired I’ll still need it! It’s illegal to scrape those!”

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Me: “Where’s my registration sticker? Why would you scrape that?!”

Manager: “NO! It’s the LAW! We have to scrape ALL stickers!”

Me: “That wasn’t an inspection sticker. It was a REGISTRATION STICKER issued by my state. That’s illegal to scrape!”

Manager: “NO! I KNOW THE LAW!”

(After more arguing they finally gave me the scraps of my registration sticker, which somewhat still had my information on it, and I drove off. After that I was even MORE determined to have someone more knowledgeable repair my car, and went to someone else to get it re-inspected afterwards.)

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Tire-ing Of Your Stupidity

| Working | February 24, 2015

(I have gone to get my tires ‘trimmed,’ which is to cut off the extra rubber to make them more round.)

Mechanic: *takes a tire off the vehicle, balances it, trims it, then places it back on the vehicle*

Me: *walks over to supervisor* “Hey, your guy isn’t doing that job right.”

Supervisor: “What’s he doing?”

Me: “He’s balancing the tire before trimming it, instead of after.”

Supervisor: “What difference does that make?”

Dad: “…come here.” *they walk over to where the mechanic is working* “Okay, this tire here, that has been balanced, then trimmed. Put it back on the balancer.”

Mechanic: *does so* “Wh… why isn’t it balanced anymore?”

Dad: “The tire you cut off has to weigh something!”

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