Unfiltered Story #107399

, , | Unfiltered | March 19, 2018

(We are in English class in 6th grade and have a great teacher. Here are some of the funniest things that occurred)

Now I’m not great at art. In fact, I suck at it. My teacher took one look at my drawing for a packet and he said he didn’t know what was worse. That they looked like the children of Ronald Mcdonald, there was a strange arm that appeared to belong to nobody, or none of them have legs.

He also said their pupils are huge. Are they on Illegal narcotics? So when you think you’re bad at drawing. Please remember that my teacher thought the people in my drawing were high as hell. Considering the drawing. He might have thought that I was high as hell.

Unfiltered Story #107397

, , | Unfiltered | March 18, 2018

Teacher: *showing fantasy maps turned in without names* “And here is the Map of Uncharted Islands. Whose is it?”

Me: “Wait, but if it’s a Map of the Uncharted islands…”

Classmate #1: *catching on* “…then they’re Charted Islands.”

Classmate #2: “Oxymoron islands.”

Teacher: (Joking) “This ain’t no oxymoron.”

(He was a great teacher. Once, he gave me part of his clementine, because he had already eaten five and I was hungry.)

Weeding Through The Bad Gifts

, , , , , | Romantic | March 10, 2018

(I smoke medical marijuana for PTSD and fibromyalgia pain. It’s Valentine’s Day, and my wife comes home and tosses me a package.)

Wife: “Babe, I got you flowers!”

Me: “Aww, so sweet!”

(It was my order of weed buds, aka “flowers.”)

Super-Starving For Attention

, , , , | Working | March 9, 2018

(I’m a woman in electronic manufacturing, working with almost all men, and we share a pretty relaxed environment. While working, I accidentally drop a metal piece with a loud clang.)

Coworker #1: “You okay over there?”

Me: “Oh, I’m fine. Thanks.”

Coworker #2: “Not feeling like you’re getting enough attention, or something?”

Me: *deadpan* “Nah, I’m wearing new earrings and felt like everyone should come look. I’m feeling pretty superstar.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, I understand. I feel that way when I’m wearing new earrings, too.”

Coworker #2: “I feel pretty superstar every time I wear pants out of the house!”

Unfiltered Story #106918

, | Unfiltered | March 6, 2018

This story takes place on a field trip (i think 10th grade) to a mall back in 2007 or so. This was back when the idea of sleep number beds I think were getting ads like crazy but were equally expensive. So as a group we were exploring different stores and had to ask questions about sales and growth for economy and demand (if stores were willing to help)
Store Manager: So these are the popular sleep number beds I am sure you all heard of on tv lately. These things will make you and your partner have the best night of sleep at your own pleasure.

He then points to me

Store manager: Come here try the bed you look tired pretend your married man and need to just sleep.

So i laugh it off a bit and try to relax on a bed (even though 15 of my classmates are watching this and laughing a bit it was a bit awkward)

Store manager: So you can see how it feels and now to show you how you and your partner can have your own pleasures and peace we will give you your partner.

He then points to my best friend (who i have had a crush on for years but me and him would never work out hes straight and im gay)

SM: Get in bed pretend your married with him and start to cuddle so you can see.

Suffice to say me n him blushed and said nope no no no no nope no way and our class was laughing. While all this was going on i realized i still had about $250 saved up and wanted to buy my mom a new ring similar to what she had lost a month prior and knew it wasn’t much but it was a ring we got her years prior. So i walked over across the way to the jewelry store after telling my teacher. So while browsing the store looking around i see a ring that was $110 and wanted to look at it.

Me: Can I see this ring here?
Jewelry employee: Sure can here.
Me: It does look nice and can it be resized?
Jewelry employee: Yes we can do that, but its not a traditional ring you know?
Me: What do you mean?
Jewelry employee:Well it isn’t a wedding ring or engagement ring sir.
Me: Why would I need that this is for my mom.
Jewelry employee:Oh sir you dont need to worry I am very LGBT friendly.
Me: Uhhh This is still for my mom I want to buy it for her.
Jewelry employee: Sir i saw you and your boyfriend or husband shopping for beds over there don’t worry I am not judging you.
Me: Ok first off im 15 (but i did look over 20 with my beard and my friend equally looks older) and again this is for my mom.
Jewelry employee: Sir you dont need to be upset I respect your life style.
Me: Ok you know what I want to speak to a manager.
Jewelry employee: Ok sir…..

Less than two minutes later she is followed by a older man

Jewelry employee (manager): Well sir my Employee told me the store and congrats by the way.
Me: I just want to buy this ring for my mom….
Jewelry employee (manager): Ok sir but we promise to keep your secret safe with us. what shall we engrave this ring to your (kid you not he air quoted me) “Mom”
Me: You know what I think I may take my business else where.

Of course at this point my friend comes up while looking at the rings and arguing with the staff

Friend: Oh that ring looks so cool
Jewelry employee (manager) and employee: Awwww how sweet young love

I stormed out and haven’t bought anything from them and left my friend there confused to what happened until we were on our way back home.

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