Your Request Does Not Compute

, , , , | Right | September 14, 2018

(I work at a campus library as the receptionist. I’ve been working here about two years, but my coworker hasn’t even been here for a month.)

Patron: “Hello. Could you look up a call number for me?”

Coworker: “Of course. Let me just get online—”

Patron: *suddenly sharp* “You shouldn’t have to do that.”

Coworker: “Um…”

Patron: “You shouldn’t have to use the computer to get my call number. You should just be able to do it.”

Coworker: “I’m not sure what you mean? I could get the manager and maybe he—”

Patron: “You shouldn’t have to go get your manager. You should be able to just do it.”

Coworker: “Our entire system is online, ma’am—”

Patron: *walks away in a huff*

(Five minutes later, she came back to the desk to tell my coworker that she found the call number herself without his help. How did she do this? By looking it up online. Also, I told my coworker not to feel too bad about getting chewed out by her. I had spent fifteen minutes with her last week showing her how to print a document from Word.)

Reconstruction Of Your Sanity

, , , | Right | September 13, 2018

(We’re having some minor construction done in the box office, so the ticketing area is moved into the lobby. We have signs on every door stating, “THE BOX OFFICE IS TEMPORARILY IN THE LOBBY. DUE TO CONSTRUCTION, THE THEATRE IS CLOSED. THANK YOU.” But this keeps happening.)

Customer #1: “Oh, hi! Can we look in the theatre?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t currently give any tours due to the construction.”

Customer #2: “Can I walk around the lobby?”

Me: “Sure thing! I only ask that you not go past these doors.”

Customer #1: “If people can’t go into the theatre, why are you still open?”

Me: “We’re still selling tickets for the upcoming events. The box office is always open during business hours; they just moved me over so customers wouldn’t have to walk through a construction zone to buy tickets.”

Customer #2: *stands right at the doors and leans as far out as she can* “Can I just peek in real quick?”

Me: “I’m sorry, with the construction–“

Customer #2: “I don’t see anyone. I’ll just run through real fast.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t allow that. It’s not safe right now. Would you like to buy any–“

Customer #1: “There’s a bathroom through here, right?” *begins to walk through the door*

Me: “Actually, there’s one right here, just past the bar.”

Customer #2: “I’ve always wanted to see this theatre, and we’re just visiting the city. I’ll be quick–“

Customer #1: “No harm, right?”

Me: “I can’t allow that. Now, please, is there anything I can help you with?”

(They leave eventually, and my manager comes back to find me banging my head on my temporary desk.)

Manager: “Again?”

Me: “Apparently being able to see me from the street means, ‘just walk right on in and wander around.’”

Manager: “You’d think the signs–“

New Customer: “Hi! Can I go into the theatre?”

Manager: “Sorry, we have construction going on right now–“

New Customer: “I’ll be quick!”

(I really hope the construction is over soon. I’m starting to dent my desk.)

With Managers Like These, Who Needs Customers?

, , , , | Working | September 12, 2018

I am sixteen, working my first job in a grocery store as a cashier, mere months after being hired. I am working in our express lane, which is attached to our deli and hot foods department, to make it easier for customers to purchase hot meals.

A rather gruff-looking older woman comes to my lane with a handful of items, including one of our ready-made sandwiches, made with meat, cheese, and typically lettuce and tomato. I am immediately on edge as the woman responds rather rudely to my greeting; however, I continue checking her out until we get to the sandwich.

She tells me she called earlier in the day and the woman at our customer service center told her she could get a new, replacement sandwich for free. The story is that she purchased a sandwich yesterday for her mother, and the lettuce in the sandwich was soggy and limp like it had gone bad. She provides no specific name of a customer service worker, though we always answer our phones with our names. When I ask her if she has her receipt, she gets ornery and says the woman at customer service told her she wouldn’t need it. This is not true; receipts are required on returns. When I mention to her that returns and exchanges are handled at our customer service desk, she gets blustery and tells me I can set the sandwich aside, as she isn’t going to get it.

As she leaves with her other products, she mutters about how she is never going to come back to this store again… because we enforce our very simple rules? Good riddance.

My boss comes to talk to me later. Apparently, the woman has called to complain about me, and my boss says, “Sometimes it’s just better to give the customers what they want.”

What is even the point of us having rules at all if we’re going to allow customers to break them whenever they want?

I’ve been working at the store for eight years now — and I’m a heck of a lot tougher about our policies now than I was then — and the way my boss said that still grates on me. She’s no longer working with us, thankfully.

Are you often annoyed by people? We feel your pain. Find relief at our Antisocial collection in the NAR Store!

Won’t Be On Hold For Your B.S.

, , , , | Right | September 7, 2018

(I work as a delivery driver for a national pizza chain. The store hours have just ended — it was a Saturday and we close at two am on those nights). Just as I am getting ready to head out on the last delivery of the night, the phone rings.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]; I am sorry; we are closed for the night.”

Customer: “Hi, I would like to order delivery.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our ovens are off and we are closed for the night.”

Customer: “But I called earlier and was put on hold and no one got back to me. Why didn’t you just say you were closed then?”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Could you tell me when you originally called?”

Customer: “I don’t know, about an hour ago.”

(We hadn’t had any calls except for the delivery I was getting ready to take in the past hour.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we haven’t had any calls in the past hour that we have had to put on hold.”

Customer: “Fine, b****.”

(The customer hangs up and I am about to leave again, and the phone rings. Different number, with a different person speaking, but I can hear the same person in the background.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]! I am sorry; we are closed for the night.”

Customer: “Yeah, I want delivery.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are closed for the night.”

Customer: “But I was on hold forever and just finally called back. I want food!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are closed.”

Customer: “I was on hold forever and no one came back and now you tell me you are closed? Why can’t you give me pizza?”

Me: “Sir, the ovens are turned off. We are closed. The other location in town is still open, but they will not deliver to this part of town.”

Customer: “You are no help. F*** you.”

Me: “Well, then… sorry you are a dumb-a**.”

A Bad Case Of Upper Case Lower Case

, , , , , | Right | September 4, 2018

Caller: “Is eight digits okay for my password?”

Me: “Yes, it only has to be six.”

Caller: “Is nine okay?”

Me: “Yes… It only has to be six.”

Caller: “Okay, I used all caps; is that okay?”

Me: “No, there needs to be at least one lower case, and one upper case.”

Caller: “Okay… I used all lowercase. That’s all right, then?”

Me: “No… There needs to be at least one lowercase and at least one uppercase letter.”

Caller: “Okay, but is all lowercase okay?”

Me: “Sir, no… Would you like me to just have a form mailed out to you?”

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