At Least His Sense Of Humor Isn’t Dead, Too

, , , , , , | Friendly | April 1, 2020

We had a relatively new phone number, and once every few weeks, we’d get a call from someone speaking Spanish. My Spanish is “muy malo” (very bad), but I could tell he was looking for José. I’d ask, “Habla Inglés?” but he obviously did not, so I’d hang up.  

Every few weeks, he’d call back looking for José. I suspected we had José’s old phone number and it was on this guy’s speed dial, but he never got around to changing it.

Again, he called, asking for José. In desperation, I faked a cry and said, “José es muerto! José es muerto!”

He let out a loud belly laugh and hung up, and we never heard from him again. I assume this prompted him to update his speed dial.

You Can’t Insure Those Who Cannot Help Themselves

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2020

(I am a licensed insurance agent. I have a client who was involved in a car accident in which he was not at fault. The other driver’s insurance company is responsible for repairing his vehicle. He calls me over a year after the accident and tells me that he is not having any luck with the other company. My agency prides itself on going above and beyond in order to provide excellent customer service. I spend over an hour tracking down a supervisor at the other company, who explains that their claim had been closed by mistake. She reopens her claim and promises that she will have someone call my client. I call him back and let him know to expect a call from the other company. Two days later, he calls me and tells me that no one has called him. I get the other company’s supervisor back on the line. She tells me that her employee called my client the previous day at a particular time and left a voicemail, and also sent him an email. I call him again.)

Me: “The other company called you yesterday at [time] and left you a voicemail. Did you receive it?”

Customer: “I have voicemail set up, but I don’t know how to check it. Can you tell them to call me again?”

Me: “Did you get a call yesterday at [time]?”

Customer: “Yes, I did, but I don’t answer the phone if I don’t recognize the number. Too many telemarketers.”

Me: “They also sent you an email. Check that, and it will give you the number to call them back.”

Customer: “I have email set up, but I know how to check it. Just tell them to call me again.”

(This scenario repeats again two days later, with him unable to check voicemail or email, and not answering a phone number he doesn’t recognize.)

Me: “[Customer], you are going to have to answer the phone in order to talk to them and get your vehicle repaired.”

Customer: “I’ll try, but I really hate telemarketers, so I don’t like to answer numbers I don’t recognize.”

Me: *facepalm*

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Unfiltered Story #190871

, , | Unfiltered | March 26, 2020

The other day I was reffing a youth hockey game. It was a girls youth hockey game with the girls ages 12 and under.
The first period went smoothly with no pentalies or anything.
About half way through the second period i was skating by one of the benches.
(Im naturally a bug guy: Eigth Grade, 6’1, 205lbs.)
Out of the corner of my ear all I hear is,
Her: “Coach, Coach look at that ref he looks like an Ogre.”
I looked back and saw the coach and he was obviously very embarrased and mouthed sorry to me. I was so confused whether or not I should be offended.
After I told my reffing instructor about this story he laughed for about 5 minutes and scheduled me for every game that the team had for the rest of the season.

Unfiltered Story #190867

, , , | Unfiltered | March 26, 2020

A new employee was having trouble accessing his voice mail. He had called the IT department several times over the past week to get a new password, as the one they initially gave him did not work. Finally he spoke to one of the techs.
Co-worker: “I still need a password to get in to my voice mail.”
Tech: “We left you a voicemail with it.”

Unfiltered Story #190324

, , , | Unfiltered | March 21, 2020

(I work at a musical instrument store with multiple locations, each with slightly different inventory. As such, it’s pretty routine for a customer to order an item they found at another store.)

Customer: I bought something at *other location* and I want to order a matching one.

Me: Great! We can definitely do that for you. What was the item?

Customer: Oh just look up my purchase, tell me what it was, and get me another one. I don’t remember.

Me: Okay, can I have your name or do you have a brand/model number so I can find the purchase?

Customer: No.

(After going back and forth explaining I need some info to find what he bought, he finds a picture of the receipt on his phone).

Customer: This one right here. Get me that one. I’ll put *dollar amount* down and I’ll pay the rest when it gets here.

Me: Okay, first I just want to let you know that from the receipt it looks like you bought an old floor model at clearance price (not uncommon, and it’s a great way for customers to find awesome deals). The only ones available to order are brand new, so they’re full-price. Also, we can’t place special orders unless they’re paid in full.

Customer: Yes you can. *Store manager* lets me do it.

Me: I’m sorry sir, it’s company policy. To order something it has to be paid in full. (I know for a fact our manager would never let that happen, and had just talked to the staff that afternoon about people lying to get special treatment).

Customer: Fine. What’s the price again?

Me: *Reads full price*

Customer: *Expletive*! I bought one last week for *clearance price*!

Me: Yes sir, you purchased an older floor model and got an excellent deal. The only *item* currently available is brand new and therefore *full price*.

Customer: (In a rage). No it’s not! It’s *clearance price*, I got one last week! I’m going back to *other location*, where people are competent! (Storms out and almost knocks over several displays in anger)

Me: Okay, I’m sorry we couldn’t help you and I hope they help you find everything you need!

(After the customer leaves, I call the other location to give them a heads up they have an angry customer headed their way and explain the situation)

Location 2 Employee: I’m the one who sold him *item* last week, and I TOLD him everything you just did.

Me: Yeah just letting you know because he seemed convinced you’d get him *item*.

Location 2 Employee: Thanks man, and we totally will…for *full price*.