Unfiltered Story #151786

, , | | Unfiltered | May 25, 2019

(I’m standing behind the register when a man walks in with a bag of takeout from the restaurant next door. He just stands in the doorway, looking confused. Some people don’t understand how the self-serve frozen yogurt bar works, so I ask him:)
Me: Can I help you sir?
Customer: What store am I in?
Me: [frozen yogurt bar].
Customer: Ah, this is not where I want to be.
(And then he just turned around and left! )

Unfiltered Story #151746

, , , | | Unfiltered | May 23, 2019

(I received a request for a laptop to be sent out to a new hire who was starting on July 6th – we had no laptops in stock at the time because our orders weren’t arriving on time, thanks to the company we purchase our laptops from. This woman put in the order on 7/3, a day no one at HQ works, and proceeded to call me on Monday)

Her: Hello, yes, is this IST?
(Note we’re actually called ITS)
Me: Yes, this is ITS.
Her: I ordered a laptop for [new hire] and it still hasn’t arrived, even though I asked for it to be overnighted AM!
Me: Can you give me the request item or task number for the order?
Her: (rattles off the RIT number) so…where is it?
Me: Ma’am… you ordered this laptop on the third, and he starts today.
Her: Yes? So?
Me: Ma’am, on the order page in red, bold print there is a message stating that all laptops would be on back order for at least a week, because our orders aren’t coming in on time from the supplier.
Her: Yes…but I figured you could make an exception!
Me: It also states that we ask you give us at least 15 days for a new hire laptop or desktop.
Her: Yes, but this was important! You have to ship this laptop out now so it can get here this evening!
Me: Ma’am, UPS doesn’t pick up shipments until 4:00 PM CST, and it won’t get there until at least tomorrow. We have no “same-day” shipping options.
Her: Well…that’s absurd, I’m calling HR about this!
Me: …Alright?
Her: (hangs up, never calls back again, and cancels the order for the new hire’s laptop)

Helicopter Moms Can Be Very Testing

, , , , | | Right | May 18, 2019

(I’m a lifeguard at a community center pool. At the time of this story, our company is running a promotion that gives free short-term memberships. A child, around 11 or 12, goes to go down the slide. She is missing the required wristband, so I tell her she needs to take a swim test. She nods, leaves, and returns with her irate mother.)

Mother: “Why does my child need to take a swim test?”

Me: “It’s company policy.”

Mother: “[Front Desk] said we could try everything.”

Me: *after stifling a sigh of frustration with [Front Desk]* “She still needs to take the test for her safety.”

Mother: “Fine! Give her the test!”

(I begin telling the child what is required for the swim test. After a few seconds, the mother interrupts.)

Mother: “You’re talking too fast.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll repeat myself slower.”

Mother: “No, we’re leaving.”

(The mother and child left and made a complaint to the front desk saying that I was very rude to them. The manager laughed it off.)

Everyone’s Password Is Rosebud

, , , , , | | Working | May 14, 2019

(I call my credit card company to activate my new card. While I am on hold I am on my laptop setting up online access for the account. I happen to be at the “Security Questions.” I notice the questions are kind of “fuzzy.” Instead of, “What is your mother’s maiden name?” there are questions like, “What brand of shampoo do you use?” The customer service representative comes on the line.)

Me: “Could you tell your management that their security questions are too vague?”

Customer Service Representative: “What do you mean?”

Me: “For example, one of the questions is, ‘What is your favorite movie?’ That answer can change based on my mood or even what movie I’ve seen recently.”

Customer Service Representative: “You will always be able to log in and change your answers.”

Me: “I can see it now: ‘Wow, that was a great movie! I can’t wait to go home and change my banking password!’”

Customer Service Representative: *chuckles*

The Family Tree Is Looking A Bit Sickly

, , , , , | Healthy | May 5, 2019

(I’ve got a new doctor and am giving them the rundown on my family history.)

Doctor: “I see on your form that you checked ‘yes’ to all the diseases we have listed. They all run in your family?”

Me: “Yes. I have a very large family and at least one of them has or had at least one of those diseases.”

Doctor: “Even [rare cancer]?”

Me: “Grandma died of it.”

Doctor: “Huh. Who in your family had [disease]?”

Me: “Two of my great aunts on my dad’s side, and my uncle on my mother’s side.”

Doctor: “And your family’s history of cancer… says ‘all’?”

Me: “Doctors never really believe me, but all the cancers you have listed there? Yeah, when I add up my mother’s side of the family and my father’s side, it’s all there.”

Doctor: *open-mouthed shock* “Wow.”

Me: “I get that reaction from doctors a lot.”

(For reference, my grandmother was one of nine kids, my other grandmother was one of eleven, and all of their kids had at least five kids. It’s a big family, and they’ve all had some kind of major medical issue in the past, and most of them work in the medical field. I just tell doctors to check everything when they ask what runs in the family. It saves time.)

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