Will Help Y’Allah Out

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 23, 2019

(It has snowed several inches and the apartment parking lot is not plowed. I have gone out to help my wife free her car. Then, I see several of my neighbors, who are Muslim, trying to push and rev their car out of the lot. Another woman comes out to help, as well, and gets behind the wheel.)

Woman: “Okay, guys! Almost out! Hope to… whatever god you have… that this works!”

A Cup-Cup For A Dum-Dum

, , , , | Right | March 20, 2019

(I work at a bakery cafe, and we have self-serve drip coffee. When I sell coffee, one question I ask everyone is if they want their cup for here or to go, because some people are very particular that they want a ceramic mug, but generally, everyone else wants to take their coffee to go.)

Me: “So, a medium coffee. Did you want a ceramic mug for the coffee or a paper cup?”

Customer: “I want a cup-cup.”

Me: “So, a paper cup?”

Customer: “No! A cup-cup.”

Me: “A ceramic mug, then.”

Customer: “Well, yeah, duh.”

Seeing Eye Snake

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(The store I work in technically has a “service animals only” policy, but a lot of people bring their dogs in, anyway. This particular morning, however…)

Customer: *comes up to my register with a small purchase*

Me: “Good morning!”

(I go through the transaction normally for a moment, and then notice she has an item in her hand that she hasn’t put on the counter for me to ring up.)

Me: *internally freaking out but continuing with the transaction, because this is not an item we sell* “Have a good day!”

(I left my till shortly after that to go work on a project, all the while internally wondering who does that. This woman had come in with a living, breathing, moving SNAKE. It was wrapped around her hand, just chillin’. She said nothing, and I said nothing except the typical idle chit-chat. I was so surprised that I didn’t know what to say.)

Unfiltered Story #143643

, , , | Unfiltered | March 13, 2019

(A coworker of mine relayed this story to me. Keep in mind, we are a family owned business, not part of a franchise or anything. We don’t own the name of the business nationwide, but we are the only one in Minnesota.)

Coworker: (Store name), is this going to be for pick up or delivery?

Caller: I actually want to make a reservation for 10 people tonight.

Coworker: Ok, what time would you like that for?

Caller: 7 (note that it is already 8:30)

Coworker: Um… did you mean tomorrow?

Caller: No, tonight! This is the (Store name) in (some city) Idaho, right?

Coworker: We’re in Minnesota.

Caller: *hangs up*

Coworker (later to us as he’s telling the story): Aparrently there’s a (store) in Idaho somewhere, but I don’t know how she got our number instead. Also, I think Idaho is only an hour behind us, so she might still be late on making that reservation…

Unfiltered Story #142833

, , , | Unfiltered | March 10, 2019

(It is after close and I am counting out the registers when the phone rings)

Me: Thank you for calling [store],  I’m sorry but we’re closed for the night.

Customer: What? When do you close?

Me: 10 o’clock.

Customer: So can I get a pizza?

Me: No, we’re closed.

Customer: What time is it?

Me: 10:30

Cuatomer: Oh. *click*

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