Doesn’t Know What The Flux He’s Talking About

, , , , , , , , | Working | October 23, 2019

(I work in a well-known UK car retailer store. During my first week, the duty manager is on with me and two other new starts. We decide to play a prank on one of the guys. The manager hides in the back room and phones the store asking for information on a “flux capacitor” — a fake car part made famous by the “Back to the Future” movies. We expect our coworker to catch on, but he thinks it is a genuine car part. Instead of asking for help with something he knows nothing about, he proceeds to bulls*** the “customer” with a story of how we don’t have one, but another store does, and quotes them the price of £39.99. Well, this is interesting! We have literally caught the guy in a lie, and so our innocent prank grows arms and legs! Instead of coming clean, we decide to have a bit more fun with him. The duty manager has a conversation that goes something like this:)

Duty Manager: “Did you speak to someone about a Flux Capacitor?”

Coworker: “Yes, I told them [Other Store] had one.”

Duty Manager: “[Other Store] is on the phone saying they don’t have one but we do, so they’re having to send the customer back to us! Also, he’s saying something about being quoted £39.99?”

Coworker: “Yeah? That’s what I told him.”

Duty Manager: “They’re £400! What were you thinking? We’ve got to give him the lower price now and we could have got a bonus with that £400 sale!”

(He is horrified that he has made such a “mistake,” and what is even funnier is that he can’t admit he just made up the prices and stock levels or he’ll be in deep trouble. We let him stew for a while, as he is clearly upset and worried about this irate “customer” who might appear. We do plan to come clean that night, but during that same shift, we have a completely unrelated incident — it kind of turns into the shift from Hell, actually — which results in us having to call the police. After close, we are all giving statements and while my coworker is giving his, his mum turns up. I explain that we have had a minor incident tonight and her son is just finishing up with the police.)

Coworker’s Mum: “Oh, is that the problem with the flux capacitor?”

(I assured her it wasn’t while trying not to laugh in her face! We had no idea he had been so upset by his behaviour that he had called his mum! After telling the manager about it, we agreed that we were all in too deep to come clean about the prank now. Unsurprisingly, our little coworker did not last much longer in the job and he left none the wiser about the truth of the flux capacitor! Hopefully, he at least learned never to lie to customers again. The manager and I always had a good chuckle over the story for the six years I worked there.)

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Needs A Filter For His Mouth, Too

, , | Right | October 16, 2019

(I am a young female who works at a car parts store. Our clientele is mainly male so I am used to the odd comment about being a female in this kind of work. While I am not a qualified mechanic, I know basic car maintenance and am capable of assisting with simple requests. This incident takes place at the end of the day with not many customers in the store.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’ve ordered some parts. Are they here for me?”

Me: “Sure thing. What did you order?”

Customer: *snorts* “You probably won’t know what it is. I’m after an oil filter and air filter.”

(These are very common requests and they are one of the more basic maintenance items we sell.) 

Me: “I’ll just go get those for you.”

(I head out the back to the hold shelf and find the parts the man ordered.)

Me: *placing the items on the counter* “Here we go, sir.”

Customer: “Are you sure these are right?”

Me: “Those are the parts you ordered, sir. I am unable to say if they are the right parts for your car without further details but they are the items you have requested.”

Customer: “What are you doing here? Are you just here to make tea and coffee for the men? Someone like you shouldn’t be working in a place like this!”

(I am quite taken aback by this man’s comments, but I manage to bite my tongue.)

Me: “That will be [amount] thanks.”

Customer: *grunts*

Me: “Have a nice day, sir!”

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It’s The Only Weekend Of Summer They Get Up There

, , , | Right | October 16, 2019

(I’m the owner of a small local garage situated in a pretty popular area in Oslo. In Norway, about 80% of us go on a common summer holiday this weekend, and the last weeks before that are always the busiest weeks of the year. The phone rings:)

Me: “[Garage]. It’s [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, it’s [Customer]. I’m originally a customer at [Local Competitor], but they can’t help me as they are going on holiday on Friday. Can you help me? I need a check on my car.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the situation is the same here. We are also closing on Friday for the summer holiday.”

Customer: “Okay, do you know of anyone who can help me?”

Me: “Sorry, my best advice is to pick up your phone and the [Phone Book] and start calling around.”

Customer: *explodes* “WHY THE H*** IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO GET SOME HELP WITH MY CAR? IT’S NOT A F****** HUMAN RIGHT TO HAVE A HOLIDAY IN JULY!”

Me: *getting really pissed, as I don’t like to be yelled at* “Why is it so important to get your car checked this week?”

Customer: “We are going on holiday on Monday!”

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Techno Tantrum

, , , , | Right | October 14, 2019

(I’m the dumb customer in this story. One day, all of a sudden, my mp3/aux port in my car is not working. No sound comes out at all. I try with a different cord and the same happens. I make an appointment at the nearest dealership. I go in and talk to one of the employees.)

Employee: “It’s your mp3 player, right? Okay, so, do you use your phone or…”

Me: “I use my phone.”

Employee: “Okay, looks like we have the same phone. Let’s try my phone first before we do a diagnosis and have to charge you.”

(We go over to my car and connect his phone and… it works.)

Me: *frustrated* “Oh, my God, really? Must be my phone… I’m gonna have to go get that repaired…”

Employee: “Well, let’s check your phone first. Can I see it?”

(I give him my phone and he connects it, and it works. I groan.)

Me: “Really? How… it must have been temperamental that day or something.”

Employee: “Yeah, I guess it just had a temper tantrum. All right, since everything’s working, we can get you out of here quickly with no charge.”

Me: “Thank you… I just feel so dumb.”

(I quickly left in embarrassment. Hopefully, it doesn’t have a tantrum again.)

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Unfiltered Story #169591

, , | Unfiltered | October 13, 2019

(Customer comes in saying his thermostat is bad, and that he needs a new one)

Guy: I need a new thermostat. This one is defective.

Me: Okay, no problem.

Guy: Yeah, you know how you test them right? You throw it into boiling water, and then they open. But this one didn’t open, so that means it’s bad.

Me: … Oooookay? Did you make sure the water was boiling at the temperature the thermostat is supposed to open at?

Guy: Of course! The water WAS boiling, and everything!

Me: *facepalm*