Formatting A New Friendship

, , , , , | Working | October 21, 2017

(I work in a portrait studio and am going to upload a customer’s pictures from a memory card after finishing the session. I get an error message that says, “card cannot be used,” which I’ve never seen before, so I call our help desk. He asks a couple questions and runs few a couple of quick things that don’t work.)

Help Desk Tech: “Okay, let’s do it this way. Go ahead and format the memory card.”

Me: “What? Format the memory card?”

(I am terrified to do this because it will erase all the images I just finished taking of a large group.)

Help Desk Tech: “Yeah.”

Me: “No.”

Help Desk Tech: “No?”

Me: *firmly* “No.”

Help Desk Tech: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m trying to retrieve the images, not delete them!”

Help Desk Tech: “It’s fine. I can still get them after you format it.”

Me: “No.”

Help Desk Tech: “It will be okay.”

Me: “What’s your name?”

Help Desk Tech: “[Help Desk Tech].”

Me: “Well, [Help Desk Tech], if I am going to go against my better judgement and format this memory card I need you to promise me that I won’t delete these pictures.”

Help Desk Tech: “It should be fine.”

Me: “Should be isn’t good enough! I need you to promise me.”

Help Desk Tech: “I promise. Go ahead and format it. I’ll help you through this. We can do it together.”

(I can tell he’s teasing me, but I take a deep breath and format the memory card. He proceeds to remotely access my computer and retrieve the images from the card.)

Me: “You did it!”

Help Desk Tech: “I’m glad. I was totally lying when I promised before.”

Me: “[Help Desk Tech]!”

Help Desk Tech: “Just kidding.”

Me: “Thank you so much!” *to my customer who has been waiting for her pictures* “He did it! My new best friend [Help Desk Tech] did it!”

([Help Desk Tech] is my buddy now. I’m always glad when I call the help desk and it’s him. The customer loved her pictures and tipped me $30.)

The Next Big Science: A Formaldehyde-Resistant Strapless

, , , , | Working | October 20, 2017

(I work for my university, prepping equipment and chemicals for the undergraduate lab classes. Since I’m working with a lot of chemical stains, I usually show up to work wearing lab coats and my rattiest T-shirts. However, I’m also a research student, and we’re required to dress up when we present our work at the biannual symposium. As such, I’m wearing a nice dress today instead of my usual cut-offs and T-shirt, and apparently some people weren’t expecting it.)

Lab Manager: “Excuse me, miss, you can’t be in… Holy s***, [My Name]! I didn’t recognize you! Why the hell are you wearing a dress?!”

Me: “It’s symposium day; I have to dress up to present my work.”

Lab Manager: “Christ, that’s today? Well, good luck! You do look nice; I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a skirt. It’s weird.”

(Later, in the research lab…)

Principal Investigator: “Holy cow, [My Name]. You look great! Why don’t you dress like that every day?”

Me: “Because most days, I’m hauling formaldehyde-soaked dissection specimens or scrubbing test tubes out with bleach, and I like this dress!”

Principal Investigator: *laughing* “Fair enough. So, ready for your presentation?”

(My presentation did actually go very well, but I continued getting spit-take reactions throughout the day. Since then, I’ve made it a point to dress up one or two days a semester when I’m not working; the double-takes are just too much fun!)

There Should Be An App For That

, , , , , | Right | October 20, 2017

Me: “You’ll want to update your app to alleviate the issue.”

Customer: “How do I do that?”

Me: “Just head to the app store and search for [App].”

Customer: “I’m sorry; I simply don’t have time to drive to the app store today.”

The Gloves Are Off

, , , , , , | Learning | October 19, 2017

(I’m the teacher’s assistant for a freshman biology lab class. I’ve worked with this professor for several years, and he’s as much my friend as he is my professor. Today’s lab is about running DNA on electrophoresis gels, which involves a lot of fairly hazardous chemicals. After the professor gets done explaining the concepts, he picks up one of the gels with his bare hands.)

Me: “Dude! Put some gloves on! Do you want to get cancer?!”

Professor: “Eh, whatever. I’ve already had all the kids I’m planning on having, and I figure I’m bound to get cancer, anyway, given how often I work with this stuff.”

(I face-palmed. I will say though, I’ve never seen so many freshmen scramble to get their lab gloves on that quickly!)

Unfiltered Story #97609

, , | Unfiltered | October 14, 2017

At the time I am fresh out of massage school and working for a spa chain. Before starting they have a list of modalitys to put check marks next to which ones I do (examples: prenatal massage, hot stone therapy) but since I am fresh out of school I don’t do much, I check boxes for Swedish, deep tissue massage, hands and feet, that might have been it. This chart is for front desk eyes only, but on this day I later discovered they accidentally left it on the counter and my client saw.
I take my client back and ask what he’d like to work on.

Client: do you specialize in anything other than hands and feet?

Me: I actually do not specialize in hands and feet. We can fit the massage to whatever is bothering you or we could do a full body.

Client: says upfront you specialize in hands and feet.

Me: I’m sorry, I’m not sure where it says that, but I do not specialize in hands and feet. Are there any areas that are sore or bothering you?

Client: (getting flustered) well it says all you do is hands and feet and I’m just trying to ask what else you specialize in!

Me: I don’t really have an area of the body that I specialize in. I can work on anything that you want.

Client: (getting madder) okay. So. Hands and feet? You don’t specialize in anything else?!

Me:(getting nervous) we could do whatever you like. Or a full body. Would you like a full body?

Client: no! I guess I’ll take half the time on my feet and the other half on my hands.

Me: (defeated) okay. I’ll step out of the room to wash my hands, you can put your clothes on the chair and get under the covers face down.

During the foot massage, he mentions twice that he can barely feel anything, both times I tell him that’s as deep as I can go and offer to work on a different area, he says no.

Then after the massage he tells front desk that it was the “weirdest” massage he’s ever had. When they relay the massage I tell them it’s the weirdest massage I’ve ever given! This is when I discover they left the paper out where I had put a check by ‘hands and feet.

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