I worked at a dealership a few years ago in the downtown Honolulu area, and we had a set of recalls coming in. One day, we were servicing a pretty new vehicle, one that was still on temporary license plates, when the worst possible thing happened. We weren’t sure who, what, why, or how, but the car fell off the two-post lift and onto its passenger side. The swing arm gouged the metal deeply, almost completely skinning the door from the outside, while the roof smashed into the lift itself, caving inward.

The blame game started. I watched techs who had been working together for years turn on each other, bringing up every mistake that each other had made over the years. Eventually, the volume and language of the argument brought one of the service desk workers into the shop. She took one look at the totaled car in the bay and then disappeared, returning with one of the big bosses.

Big Boss: “Oh… lord…ok, you.” *He pointed at me.* “You aren’t yelling at anyone; what happened?”

Me: “Lift went up, car went down, I’m sorry, sir, but… I wasn’t working with that vehicle at the time. I was doing the recall for the blue one.”

Big Boss: “Okay, understandable, thank you.”

He sighed and pointed at one of the techs.

Big Boss: “You, just you, go.”

Tech #1: “I’m not… I’m not sure, I think the swing arm failed; we didn’t notice before lifting it.”

Big Boss: “Ok, good, “we” not him, not you, both of you.”

Tech #1: “I mean…. I… yeah, we were both responsible for the checks, weren’t we?”

Big Boss: “Ok, so why are you yelling at each other?”

Tech #2: “Him, that’s why.”

Tech #1: “Shut up.”

Big Boss: “Alright, well, it happened. Yelling at each other isn’t going to undo it, so relax. We’re going to have a talk about how to prevent this in the future, but for now I have to talk to the—”

Customer: “—HA! Haha! Wow, it really ate it, didn’t it, HAHA! Jesus.”

The service desk lady had arrived with the owner of the vehicle.

Big Boss: “Excuse me?

Customer: “That’s amazing, wow, shame though. It only has like 980 miles on it and already headed to the boneyard.”

Tech #1: “You… you’re laughing?”

Tech #2: “You’re not mad?”

Customer: “Mad? Nah, come on, this is the dealership. You have insurance, I have insurance, I’m sure I’ll get a loaner…”

He looked pointedly at the Big Boss, who nodded.

Big Boss: “Of course!”

Customer: “And your insurance will handle it?”

Big Boss: “It will.”

Customer: “Then who cares? It’s a brand-new car; it’s not like it’s some family heirloom or something. There are like eighty of the f****** things outside.”

Big Boss: “Yes… well… yes, would you like to come to my office and discuss it?”

Customer: “Sure, just… if someone can get my backpack and garage door opener out of that thing once it’s back on its wheels, I mean, there is a chance that it isn’t totaled, right?”

Big Boss: “Yes, actually, a door and—”

The other swing arm, which had been propping the car up at a 45-degree angle, popped out of place, and the car fell back onto all 4 wheels, blowing the driver’s side curtain airbags with a loud BANG!

Big Boss: “Okay… well, ok now it might be… I mean, you… we… you wouldn’t have wanted that one back anyway, right?”

Customer: “That was AWESOME!”

Big Boss: “This way, sir.”

An investigation was done, and we were told that something had gone wrong in the gearing for the arm restraints that normally prevent the arms from moving sideways. The right side had failed, and, presumably, the left side had been broken or compromised by the car falling. I wanted far more details because I knew I was going to write this up for NAR, but the individuals responsible for repairing it weren’t the talkative type. 

The vehicle was totaled out, and the dealership, partially out of gratitude at the customer’s reaction, ended up coming to some sort of deal on the same vehicle at the top trim level. It also had to undergo the recall repair, but it stayed firmly planted on the lift.

I worked in a repair shop. A customer had lost her keys to her scooter. She had us pick up the scooter, cut her a new key, and then she came in to pick it up.

She walks in, pays, goes outside to drive home, stops, and walks back inside.

Customer: “Um, when I dropped my bike off, there were like… a lot more keys on here.”

She holds up the key ring and jangles it for a second.

Coworker: “You had us pick up your scooter… because you… Lost. Your. Keys.”

Customer: *Eyes go wide after several seconds of confusion.* “Oooohhhhhh! Thaaat’s riiiigghht!”

We all stare at each other as she leaves, worried for the pedestrians she would be driving past.

I’m working alone at a mobile phone repair shop in a small town. We’re in a poorer part of the country, and it’s a long way to the city by public transport, so we’re pretty much the only reliable shop for phone repair in the area.

A man barges in holding what looks like the charred corpse of a Samsung Galaxy.

Customer: “I need this fixed.”

I gently take the phone. The screen is shattered, the back is warped, and it smells vaguely of barbecue.

Me: “What happened to it?”

Customer: “It fell in a fire.”

I blink.

Me: “That’s unfortunate.”

Customer: “Yeah, I was drunk.”

Me: “Okay then. Right. Well, the motherboard is probably destroyed. This isn’t repairable.”

Customer: “You’re the expert. Fix it.”

Me: “Sir, it was on fire. There’s nothing left to fix. The battery’s gone. The screen’s melted.”

Customer: “That’s illegal.”

Me: “What’s illegal?”

Customer: “Denying me service!”

Me: “It’s not denying you service to tell you that your phone is beyond repair.”

Customer: “I’ll report you.”

Me: “To whom?”

He pulls out a second phone, a pristine iPhone, and starts loudly pretending to call the police.

Customer: “Hello? Yes, I’d like to report a tech shop for denying me service.”

He pauses, realizes no one is going to call his bluff, then pockets the phone and glares at me.

Customer: “You know what? You’ve just lost a customer.”

Me: “I think we’ll recover, unlike your phone.”

He huffs, grabs his ashen Samsung carcass, and storms out. Five minutes later, he comes back in, sheepish.

Customer: “Do you at least sell screen wipes?”

Me: “Yes. But not ones that remove fire damage.”

He left again, this time for good.

My husband and I own a mobile marine (boats) repair business. We do not have a shop; we repair boats dockside or in a person’s backyard.

We get a call late one night from one of our regulars, a nice man with a pretty big boat.

Regular: “Oh, hey [My Name]. I know you repair boats in the water or backyards, but umm… can you help with one on the side of the road?”

Me: “Oh, no. Are you broke down? We can do trailer repair.”

Regular: “Well, not exactly, trailer repair.”

Me: “Okay… what exactly do you need repaired?”

Regular: “Well, I was hauling it down to the sea, and about a hundred miles into the trip, a state trooper pulled me over and asked, “Sir, were you pulling a boat?””

Me: “Um… WERE?!”

Regular: “Yeah, so apparently it came off the trailer about twenty miles back, and I never realized it. It has a huge hole in the hull from where it hit the road at about fifty-five miles per hour. The upside is the State Trooper said he wouldn’t give me a ticket for littering.”

We were able to help get it back on the trailer and off the highway. It was a total loss, but no one was hurt, so he wasn’t too terribly upset.

I work in a very busy store in a shopping centre that does key cutting, shoe repair, and polishing. I’ve always got multiple jobs on the go. A guy strolls up to the counter holding a pair of scuffed dress shoes, clearly worn but pricey.

Customer: “I don’t want the full shine, just give them a little polish on one toe so I can see if it’s worth it.”

Me: “We don’t really do sample shines.”

Customer: “Why not? I just want to see if it’ll make a difference.”

Me: “I can assure you it will. That’s kind of the whole business model.”

Customer: “Come on, just a dab. If I like it, I’ll pay for the rest. I’m not asking for much.”

Me: “No, just some free labour and the illusion of a negotiation.”

Customer: “So you’re saying no?”

Me: “I’m saying if you want a sample of a ‘spit and polish,’ I can give you the spit?”

Customer: *Leaving grumpily.* “Could’ve just said ‘no’.”