The Golden Years Are Getting Tarnished

, , , | Romantic | August 9, 2017

(I’m visiting my parents and we’re talking about our favorite things to do at the state fair. My parents are both in their mid-fifties and like to joke with each other about getting old.)

Mom: “I like looking at all the antiques they have on display.”

Dad: “You don’t need to look at antiques. You have me!”

Mom: “You’re not an antique!”

Dad: “Just junk?”

It’s Not Always Nice To See More Of Your Mother

, , , | Related Romantic | June 1, 2017

(My mum has gotten a new phone.)

Mum: *sends picture of her cleavage*

Me: “What are you doing!”

Mum: “You like that big boy? You want more?”

Me: “No!”

Mum: *sends more*

(As she is only downstairs, I decide to just talk to her.)

Me: “Mum, STOP! You’re sending those to me.”

Mum: *going pale and checking her phone* “[Last three digits]?”

(I nod.)

Mum: “Oh, my god, I’m so sorry. I’ve got you saved as your father!”

(I’m traumatised.)