Grandma Needs To Stop Beeping Swearing

, , , , | | Healthy | May 25, 2019

(I’m visiting my grandma, who is in her nineties, alongside my dad, who is 70. We talk about how life is going and suddenly I stop.)

Dad: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “I’m hearing a beep.”

Grandma: “What? What did she say? I haven’t got my hearing aids in today!”

(She is feeling a bit ill.)

Dad: “[My Name] says she hears a beep!”

Grandma: “I don’t hear anything!”

Dad: “That’s because your hearing aids aren’t in, Mom!”

Grandma: “What?!”

(Meanwhile, I’ve been browsing through the apartment, even looking outside. I’m moving my hand along with the beep; it’s several short ones and then a longer one, but never in a steady pattern.)

Grandma: “What is she doing?!”

Dad: “She’s looking for that beep!”

Grandma: “I’m not hearing anything!”

Dad: “Me, neither… [My Name] are you sure?”

(I can’t find the source, but limit it to a zone inside the living room, but nothing beeps whenever my ear gets near. What’s left is the fire alarm on the ceiling, beyond my reach. Maybe that is the source? Half an hour later, a nurse comes for my grandma’s medicine.)

Dad: “Excuse me, miss. My daughter is hearing a beep and I can’t hear it. Could you listen if you hear a beep, as well? She thought it could be from the fire alarm?”

Nurse: “What should I listen for?”

Me: “I’m not sure. It goes ‘beep-beep-beeeep,’ but never regularly. It sometimes reminds me of a microphone getting close to a speaker.”

(We are silent and the nurse nods. She confirms she hears the beeps, as well. She looks around and walks to the table. She picks something up.)

Nurse: “Is it gone now?”

Me: “Yes! What was it?!”

Nurse: “Your grandmother’s hearing aids. They were still on and too close to each other.”

Never Too Old To Fly High

, , , | Hopeless | April 28, 2019

(The main building in the Military Memorial Park has several modern exhibits, amongst them one about aviation. I’m on duty in that station in this day, manning the MIG-29 simulator. The day is slow, and I’m starting to get bored, when a sweet old couple walks in. The husband looks at the simulator, which consists of a real cockpit with the booby-hatch from a MIG-27 plane, and a control panel in front of a big screen, and cheers up.)

Old Gentleman: “Honey, look at this! This seems like just the real deal! And I suppose you, young miss, are the pilot? You will take us on a journey?”

Me: *smiling* “Almost, sir. I will assist you, but you will be the one piloting! I’m just a navigator for you. Would you like to take a seat? Or you, ma’am?”

Old Lady: “Can we both try it? Is it even possible for old farts like us to do this?”

Me: “But of course! Fun has no age limits!”

Old Gentleman: “And what happens if we fail? Will we crash and die?”

Me: “No, sir, I’d never let it! You see, I can operate the catapult here, so if I see that you are in danger, we just leave the plane… Would you like to try it?”

Old Lady: “I think I will die from happiness! This is fantastic! Let me try!”

(They both tried it, screaming in childish glee, admiring the game’s realistic view, and generally behaving like kids in a candy shop. They both failed the mission first, but as it was a slow day, I confirmed with the receptionist and let them play with the simulator as long as they wanted, helping them using the controls. After a while, both of them managed to safely land — not an easy feat for anyone! They were really nice and genuinely happy, really cheering me up. Even just dealing with them already made my day, but later they came back with sweets and a small pendant for me. They insisted I have them, and the old lady even gave me a hug!)

She Had A Fall, And So Did Australia, Apparently

, , , , , , | Healthy | April 26, 2019

(I’m in the ER with my husband after he broke his arm. A woman and her adult daughter are in the curtain area next to us. From what I can gather, the older woman had a fall and hit her head; she doesn’t remember what happened and has lost her hearing aids. The nurse is asking her some general questions. It is 2014 and we live in Australia.)

Nurse: “Okay, just a few questions. What is your full name?”

Older Woman: “[Older Woman].”

Nurse: “Great, and your birthdate?”

Older Woman: “Pardon?”

Daughter: *bit louder* “Your birthday, mum”

Older Woman: “Oh, it’s [birthdate].”

Nurse: “Who is the prime minister?”

Older Woman: “I’m sorry, what?”

Daughter: *louder again* “Who’s the idiot that runs the country?”

Older Woman: “Oh, that’s Tony Abbott.”

(My husband and I couldn’t help but laugh. The nurse had a good chuckle, too.)

Cards Against Humanity

, , , , , , | Right | March 26, 2019

(I’m serving customers. We’re currently understaffed due to a miscommunication between managers, so I’m trying to be fast and keep the line down until the next staff member arrives. An older lady comes through my register and asks to pay by card, and I just know there’s going to be a problem.)

Customer #1: “It’s a new card; is that okay?”

Me: “Yeah, of course.”

Customer #1: *takes out a card and places it on the register* “I don’t know how to use it. You do it.”

(We’re not technically supposed to use the customer’s card on their behalf; however, it’s usually easier and more time-efficient to do so. We’ve been informed that the district manager will be visiting the store any minute now so I’m being very cautious of my behavior.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I can’t do it for you, but I’ll help you. First, insert your card at the bottom, chip side in.” *[Customer #1] inserts the card incorrectly* “No, sorry, the other way.” *she corrects the card* “Okay, now select the account, type in your PIN, and press the green enter button.”

(She does all this, but she must input the wrong PIN number as the machine asks for her PIN again. Instead, she removes the card, which automatically cancels the transaction.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, because you’ve removed the card, the payment failed. Would you like to try again?”

Customer #1: “Oh, no, I don’t how to use this card!”

(By this time, a line has built up, so I radio desperately to my coworkers to help, including one whose shift hasn’t technically started yet. [Customer #2], who turns out to be [Customer #1]’s son, approaches my register.)

Customer #2: “Here, Mum, let me help. Why don’t you just use tap-and-go?”

Customer #1: “Oh, no. It’s a new card; I don’t know how to use it.” *to me* “What if I try my other card? I know how to use that one.”

Me: “Yeah, no worries.”

Customer #1: *swaps the first card for the second card* “Now, I don’t how to use this card.”

Me: *mentally face-palming* “Oh. Did you want to pay cash, then?”

Customer #2: “Here, Mum, let me just pay for it. You can give me the money later!”

Customer #1: “Oh, no, dear. I’ll just pay cash. It’s a new card, you see. I don’t know how to use it, you see.”

(She hands me the money and leaves, telling her son she’s heading to the car.)

Customer #2: “I’m so sorry about that!” *pays very quickly and leaves*

(It ended up taking ten minutes for her to pay. Her son paid in about twenty seconds!)

The Hotel D’Mentia

, , , , | Healthy | March 11, 2019

(This happens when I am just 17 years old. I get a summer job, one of my first jobs ever, in a retirement home serving coffee and tea in the public living room during the afternoons. This interaction happens with one of the residents. She has Alzheimer’s but I do not know that at the time, and it is one of my first times interacting with someone in that condition.)

Elderly Lady: *very politely* “May I inquire if it is possible for me to stay in the same room one more night?”

Me: *a bit confused, since she lives here* “Um, this is not a hotel, so your room is yours, of course.”

Elderly Lady: “No, I booked a room here and I would like to pay for one more night’s stay, please.”

Me: *still confused* “But this is a retirement home; you live here.”

Elderly Lady: *suddenly a bit shocked and looking around* “Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry; I am in the wrong place! I will go to my sister’s house and stay with her tonight. Thank you.”

(With that, she walks out of the building and leaves me very confused and worried! I realize that this lady does not seem to have a full grasp of the present or reality and I go to find a nurse. I am worried the lady will get lost or injured. The nurse laughs and knows who I am talking about. She says that the lady will come back eventually by herself, as usual. I continue with my tasks but am still worried. When I am almost done with my shift, who would walk in but the elderly lady from before! I immediately walk up to her.)

Elderly Lady: *very politely* “Excuse me. I cannot seem to locate my sister’s house. May I inquire if it is possible for me to stay in the same room one more night?”

Me: “Of course, madam. Your room is ready for you; it is the same room as usual. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.”

Elderly Lady: *enormous smile on her face* “Why, thank you, miss. Such good service. I always enjoy staying here.”

(With that, she happily went to her room. I was so relieved she managed to come back. There was no benefit or point in arguing with her and trying to make her understand her circumstances; it would only make her feel scared, confused, and miserable. I felt that that would just be mean.)

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