(I Love) The Way You Make Me Feel

, , , , , | Healthy | March 1, 2021

My dad is battling cancer and needs surgery. My sister and I are waiting for him in the recovery room, and of course, our nerves are already on edge.

As we are waiting for our dad to wake up, we hear the elderly little lady in the recovery suite next door, bless her heart, break out with this:

Elderly Lady: “Wow! Anesthesia is so great! I can see why people like anesthesia! You know, like Michael Jackson and them people!”

We tried so very hard not to crack up.

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What Did Grandpa Do?

, , , , | Right | February 27, 2021

I work at the reception desk at a retirement center. We frequently receive calls from confused/sundowning elderly people trying to contact friends or family who live in the facility.

Me: *Answering the phone* “Good morning! This is [Facility] how may I help you?”

There is no answer, only the sound of shuffling and button pressing.

Me: *Louder* “Hello? Hello, this is [Facility]. May I help you?”

There was more button pressing, and then in the background, there was a sudden, scandalized cry of, “GRANDPA, NO!” before the call abruptly disconnected.

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Shields Up!

, , , , , | Related | January 8, 2021

When my great-great-grandmother began to develop dementia, she started throwing things at people when they came through the door of her room. Sometimes it was a book, sometimes a water glass — whatever was handy. Nobody was quite sure what to do about this, except my grandmother — her granddaughter — who was then a slightly cocky seventeen-year-old.

Grandmother: “Grandma, you really shouldn’t throw things at people.”

Great-Great-Grandmother: “Why not?”

Grandmother: “Well… you could hurt someone!”

Great-Great-Grandmother: “Oh. Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll warn people before I throw things!”

For the rest of her life, that’s what she did. She would yell, “Look out, look out, coming through the door!” whenever she had a visitor.

Everyone knew that when they were coming to visit her, they should open the door and step in slightly, and then step back and use the door to shield themselves. Once the thing was thrown, they would be able to come in normally.

[Great-Great-Grandmother] never did stop throwing things, thanks to the dementia, but at least she didn’t want to hurt anyone.

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I Have Trouble Remembering ONE Person’s Name

, , , , , , , | Related | November 16, 2020

My dad told me this story about his grandmother, who lived to be over 100. I got to meet her, and so did several other great-grandchildren. She raised eleven kids — her husband died much younger and she never remarried — who all had kids when they grew up. Since none of her siblings had kids, Dad and his dozens of cousins joked she was making up for them.

Dad would do her grocery shopping once a week. One week, when he came to get her shopping list, she looked very concerned about something.

Dad: “Grandma, what’s wrong? You look so worried.”

Grandma: “I think I’m losing my mind.”

Dad: “You’ve always seemed sharp when we talk. I haven’t noticed anything wrong. What makes you think that?”

Grandma: “This morning, I was sitting here trying to name all my grandchildren, and I can’t do it.”

Dad: “Grandma, you have more than fifty grandkids. No one knows all their names! Your memory is fine.”

That reassured her! She lived about another fifteen years after this conversation, and her memory stayed intact the whole time. She even hosted big family dinners every Sunday well into her nineties.


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for November 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for November 2020!

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Wait Until They Discover The Internet!

, , , , | Right | November 6, 2020

I am the customer waiting my turn behind an older woman being helped. The clerk is asking the woman to call and make sure the person has received what was sent. The older woman, however, is getting frustrated and doesn’t understand what is being asked of her.

She turns to me to commiserate and says:

Old Woman: “I can’t stand this newfangled technology!”

The technology in question? A fax.

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