Choking With Inappropriateness

, , , , | Healthy Right | January 22, 2019

(I work in a home for the elderly. I have to help an elderly woman to change seats because her left arm and leg are paralyzed. She can stand as long as she holds on to somebody. While I’m transferring her into her wheelchair, she holds onto my neck and by doing so she chokes me. Getting out of breath, I quickly set her into her wheelchair. After catching my breath I talk to her.)

Me: “Miss [Woman], you were choking me.”

Woman: “Oh, sorry. I’ll leave that to your girlfriend.”

(After that I had to catch my breath again from laughing too much.)

Needs To Work On That Goodbye

, , , | Right | January 11, 2019

(I’m in line waiting to be checked out, shortly before the store is going to close. In front of me is an elderly lady, clearly in retirement already. This happens when she turns to leave. In Germany it’s very common to wish someone to have a nice end of the working day.)

Elderly Lady: “Thank you, and have a nice end of your working day!”

Cashier: *starts laughing* “Ha, I almost wished you the same!”

Elderly Lady: *starts laughing, too* “Well, my working days finished long ago!”

Saw: The Christmas Special

, , , , , , | Related | December 17, 2018

(It’s December, and I’m hanging out with my grandma.)

Grammy: *unwraps Santa-shaped chocolate*

Me: “Nooo, don’t eat Santa!”

Grammy: “Say goodbye to Santa.” *waves*

Me: *waves* “Bye, Santa!”

Grammy: *to Santa* “I’ll eat your feet first to give you a few minutes of grace.”

Me: “No, don’t prolong his suffering!”

Laughter Really Is The Best Medicine

, , , , , | Related | December 9, 2018

(At Thanksgiving dinner, my Grandma, age 102, and Granny, 93, are talking about their medical alert buttons.)

Grandma: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” *giggles*

(They pull out their necklaces and compare.)

Granny: “Yours is bigger than mine.”

(They both broke down giggling until they were red in the face.)

C(h)arting Their Growth

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 22, 2018

(My husband and I, in our mid-twenties, are exiting a store with our cart. He puts his feet on the edge of the cart, and with a gleeful yell rides it down to our car. At the same moment, an elderly couple approaches the store, with the husband pushing the cart. He grins and starts running, pushing the cart ahead of him.)

Me: “They never grow up, do they?”

Elderly Woman: “No, dear, they don’t.”

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