The Hotel D’Mentia

, , , , | Healthy | March 11, 2019

(This happens when I am just 17 years old. I get a summer job, one of my first jobs ever, in a retirement home serving coffee and tea in the public living room during the afternoons. This interaction happens with one of the residents. She has Alzheimer’s but I do not know that at the time, and it is one of my first times interacting with someone in that condition.)

Elderly Lady: *very politely* “May I inquire if it is possible for me to stay in the same room one more night?”

Me: *a bit confused, since she lives here* “Um, this is not a hotel, so your room is yours, of course.”

Elderly Lady: “No, I booked a room here and I would like to pay for one more night’s stay, please.”

Me: *still confused* “But this is a retirement home; you live here.”

Elderly Lady: *suddenly a bit shocked and looking around* “Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry; I am in the wrong place! I will go to my sister’s house and stay with her tonight. Thank you.”

(With that, she walks out of the building and leaves me very confused and worried! I realize that this lady does not seem to have a full grasp of the present or reality and I go to find a nurse. I am worried the lady will get lost or injured. The nurse laughs and knows who I am talking about. She says that the lady will come back eventually by herself, as usual. I continue with my tasks but am still worried. When I am almost done with my shift, who would walk in but the elderly lady from before! I immediately walk up to her.)

Elderly Lady: *very politely* “Excuse me. I cannot seem to locate my sister’s house. May I inquire if it is possible for me to stay in the same room one more night?”

Me: “Of course, madam. Your room is ready for you; it is the same room as usual. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.”

Elderly Lady: *enormous smile on her face* “Why, thank you, miss. Such good service. I always enjoy staying here.”

(With that, she happily went to her room. I was so relieved she managed to come back. There was no benefit or point in arguing with her and trying to make her understand her circumstances; it would only make her feel scared, confused, and miserable. I felt that that would just be mean.)

Always Time For Baguettes

, , , | Right | January 31, 2019

(My brother comes to the cashier with a cart full of groceries. Behind him is an older man with only a baguette. He motions for the man to go first, but the old man shakes his head.)

Old Man: “Oh, no, don’t mind me. I have time. Probably not much of it left, but still enough for me to wait for my turn!”

(Both the cashier and my brother had a hard time keeping their faces straight.)

Choking With Inappropriateness

, , , , | Healthy Right | January 22, 2019

(I work in a home for the elderly. I have to help an elderly woman to change seats because her left arm and leg are paralyzed. She can stand as long as she holds on to somebody. While I’m transferring her into her wheelchair, she holds onto my neck and by doing so she chokes me. Getting out of breath, I quickly set her into her wheelchair. After catching my breath I talk to her.)

Me: “Miss [Woman], you were choking me.”

Woman: “Oh, sorry. I’ll leave that to your girlfriend.”

(After that I had to catch my breath again from laughing too much.)

Needs To Work On That Goodbye

, , , | Right | January 11, 2019

(I’m in line waiting to be checked out, shortly before the store is going to close. In front of me is an elderly lady, clearly in retirement already. This happens when she turns to leave. In Germany it’s very common to wish someone to have a nice end of the working day.)

Elderly Lady: “Thank you, and have a nice end of your working day!”

Cashier: *starts laughing* “Ha, I almost wished you the same!”

Elderly Lady: *starts laughing, too* “Well, my working days finished long ago!”

Saw: The Christmas Special

, , , , , , | Related | December 17, 2018

(It’s December, and I’m hanging out with my grandma.)

Grammy: *unwraps Santa-shaped chocolate*

Me: “Nooo, don’t eat Santa!”

Grammy: “Say goodbye to Santa.” *waves*

Me: *waves* “Bye, Santa!”

Grammy: *to Santa* “I’ll eat your feet first to give you a few minutes of grace.”

Me: “No, don’t prolong his suffering!”

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