I work in a fast-food place that does bottomless sodas. We have two drinks dispensers on either side of the store, but one is currently broken. Today is my last day, so I am not taking anyone’s BS.

Customer: *All huffy.* “Why won’t this drink machine work?!”

Me: “Because it’s down for maintenance, as the posted sign on the machine reads. You’ll need to use the drink machine on the other side.”

Customer: “Well, that’s great! I have to walk clear across the floor now!”

Me: “The nearest drink machine is at most thirty feet away. You’re not lugging the one ring to Mordor, ma’am, so let’s maybe take a breath and rein it in a bit, yeah?”

I was happy to get my slap on the wrist from my giggling manager for my last day!

Caller: “Hi, I’ve had a tech scheduled for today to upgrade my house wiring and install two new TVs, but nobody showed up. Can you tell me what happened?”

Me: “Sure, I can, please bear with me, I will look into it.”

I check the system.

Me: “I have the appointment in front of me, and it is marked as ‘customer was not at his premises’. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I am still looking into it, but were you home for the entire duration of the appointment time frame?”

Caller: “Yeah! I was home the entire day, and I swear nobody came to my house, nobody knocked on the door, nobody rang the bell, or even called me. There was this guy in a van that I thought could be your tech, but he was just standing around for a bit, ate his sandwich, and left.”

Me: “Okay, let me put you on hold and call the dispatch center for more info.”

I must admit, I was sceptical about my customer telling the truth, as many of our customers lie if they missed the dispatch. I called the dispatch center to find out if the customer is lying or if we effed up on our end.

I end up talking to a lady from the dispatch center.

Me: “My customer is claiming he was home all day, but the tech never arrived. Can you check for me, please?”

Dispatch Center: “Sure!” *Checks.* “So, I pulled up the case in question and have it marked as customer missed dispatch. GPS says tech was at the address, and notes from tech are: Arrived at premises. Customer not at home. Customer no response on mobile. Waited fifteen min. Ate sandwich. Left.”

Me: *Laughing.* “I’m sorry, what about a sandwich?”

Dispatch Center: “Sorry, don’t mind that. I guess the tech tried to be funny.”

Me: “Not only that. He outed himself! My customer actually mentioned a guy he thought could be our tech waiting around eating a sandwich, but he didn’t make any contact. Do you think the tech just did not feel like working that day?”

Dispatch Center: “I’m not sure, but it does sound like that. I will flag this for investigation. Can you provide me with the case number where we can pull the recording of the customer mentioning the sandwich?”

I did so and went back to my customer. I did not tell him the whole story, but admitted and apologized for a scheduling issue on our end, and gave him the maximum credit I could for a missed dispatch, plus a discount on his new TV receivers that were supposed to be installed and rescheduled with him. The customer was happy with the outcome.

I also texted the dispatch center rep, asking her for the screenshot of the tech notes so I could share it with my friends. She complied and texted me again a few days later, telling me that the tech admitted to not wanting to do a long install job and got suspended without pay for two weeks.

We had three servers closing last night. One other server and I were doing all the closing work while a third was standing around doing nothing. 

A group of eight walked in. The other good server asks me:

Good Server: “Could you ask [Bad Server] to take it so we can finish doing the closing work?”

This includes the bad server’s closing work. So, I ask him.

Bad Server: “No, [Good Server] can take it.”

I took it because the [Good Server] was not in a position to take tables, and I didn’t really expect much of a tip from a group of eight who came in half an hour before close. It was unspoken, but we both knew if [Bad Server] took it, we’d be there another hour.

In the end, the group of eight tipped me $70 on a $160 check. [Bad Server] got a table for two, five minutes before closing. He messed up the order, and they stiffed him.

Karma’s a b****.

I’m a new hire, learning the ropes in production. Management wanted us to start tracking how much material we were wasting, so we had to measure leftover lengths and enter the numbers for review. My boss was demonstrating how to calculate it.

Boss: *Tapping away at the calculator.* “So, for this one, it’s twelve feet, nine inches, so we’ll just type in… twelve point nine…”

Me: “Uh… you can’t just put inches in as decimals. Nine inches isn’t point nine feet.”

Boss: *Shrugs.* “Well, I don’t have the formula memorized.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t know the conversion, it was watching him type twelve and then freeze like his brain had hit a blue screen, before just, YOLO-ing “point-nine” in anyway. That’s when I realized: I do not want to work under this guy.

He was a machinist. 

Last I heard, he got promoted.

I recently lost my ID card, so I had to go to the town hall to request a new one.

I looked up the procedure on the official government website. It clearly reads: If your ID was stolen, you need to bring an official report of theft from the police; however, if you just lost it, you can go directly to town hall. 

So, knowing how inefficient and clueless our government apparatus is, I take a photo of the website as proof, make an online appointment, and write in the ‘Do you have remarks for the appointment’ checkbox: “I lost my ID, wasn’t stolen, don’t have a police report, need to request a new ID”.

A day later, they mail me, confirming my appointment.

I leave work earlier to be able to make the appointment (because service-oriented as the government is, of course, they’re only open during business hours, when every citizen is working). 

You can guess it; I arrive there, and the first thing the lady behind the desk asks is for my police report. I sigh, explain I don’t need it, and show her the photo.

Her response:

Employee: “Oh, the website must be wrong then.”

Me: “Miss, this is THE official government website. If not there, then WHERE can I get correct info?”

Employee: “Sorry, I can’t help you with that. You need the report.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll just walk into the police office next door and make a report.”

Employee: “Local police do not make reports; you’ll have to go to [Town forty minutes away].”

Me: “Is this some sort of joke? We live in the 21st century, where you can do ANYTHING online, but I need to ride my bike for forty minutes to another f****** town for this? Why the h*** do I even pay local taxes when I can’t even file a f****** police report where I live? How about old and disabled people? You make them undergo this odyssey as well? This is an outrage, and I will NOT go all the way to [Town] because the local bureaucracy is too incompetent to help their own citizens.”

Take a breath…

Me: “And let me be clear, I’m not angry with you, I’m angry with the system you represent. I’m not here to ruin your day by cursing and shouting, but the fact that I took a photo beforehand because I KNEW some s*** would happen, says it all about our government, doesn’t it”?

Employee: “I completely understand, sir. It’s frustrating, isn’t it? You could go to the police next door and ask them, but I cannot do anything else.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll do that. And once again, this wasn’t an attack on you personally. I’m just sick and tired of being sent on wild goose chases. But that’s not your fault. Have a nice day.”

I walk to the police station only to find the door locked and a big sign: “APPOINTMENTS ONLY! NO WALK-INS”.

I go back to the town hall clerk:

Me: “And now I AM p***ed at you because YOU PERSONALLY sent me on a wild goose chase, knowing very well that the police won’t let me in. I take back what I said and wish you a terrible day. And just so you know, I’m NOT going to [Town]. My ID expires in two years, and I’ll get an invitation then to pick up a new one, in this town, anyway. And by the way, why the h*** do you even have the textbox when I make an appointment if you’re clearly not going to read it? You could have called me and saved me a f****** trip and unpaid time off!”

Employee: “Sir, you are not allowed to just not have an ID card. It’s obligatory.”

Me: “Yeah, well, some say you’re obligated to eat fish on a Friday, but guess who’s going to barbecue tonight, lady? I hope you receive the same level of competence you provide whenever you need anything in the future. You’d be on my side before you can say ‘standard procedure’.”

So, I guess I’ll have to make do with my passport for the next few years.

I HATE bureaucracy.

CORRECTION: A typo and an uncensored swear word have been corrected.