The Unkind Leading The Blind

, , , , | Working | January 20, 2020

(My dad travels a lot for work. He is also practically blind without his glasses. One night, while asleep in a hotel room, he thinks he hears one of us kids crying and stumbles out the door of his room to find us. It is then that he wakes up properly and realises he is locked out of his room, without his glasses, in an unfamiliar corridor, in an unfamiliar hotel, wearing only his undies. For fifteen minutes, he gropes around walls, doors, and fire hydrants until he eventually finds his way to the stairs, and then along another corridor until he finally gets to the reception desk. There’s no one there — it’s the middle of the night — but he can hear some noise in the back room.)

Dad: “Hello? 

(Two employees come out, quietly chortling, and look unsurprised to see Dad standing there in his smalls.)

Dad: “Sorry, mate, I just need some help getting back into my room; I’ve managed to lock myself out.”

Employee: “Yeah, mate, we’ve been watching you on the security camera and were wondering how long it’d take you to get down here.” *laughs hysterically*

(Fortunately, my dad has a wicked sense of humour and happily tells this story to anyone.)

1 Thumbs
410

Book This One Under Lost Cause

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2020

(I’m a library director in a small town. Our library collection is joined up with many other libraries in our area, and we will regularly send our books to other locations for people to pick up. One day, I get a call from another library; their patron has borrowed one of our books and claims she returned it, but it’s not marked “returned” in the system. The other library asks me to make sure it didn’t somehow end up back at our library without being scanned in. I check, but it’s definitely not there. I tell the other library to renew it and ask the patron to keep looking, because usually when patrons think they returned something they find it a few weeks later under the passenger seat or whatever. A little while later the patron calls me, very annoyed.)

Patron: “I need to speak to someone about [Book] and someone who can actually help!”

Me: *already annoyed with her huffy tone* “Well, ma’am, I can help. What seems to be the problem?”

Patron: “I returned [Book] weeks ago and it’s still on my account! The stupid people at my library say it’s not there, so I thought I would have you look for it.”

Me: *even more annoyed at the insult to my friends at the other library* “Well, ma’am, I actually spoke to the staff at your library earlier today, and we have both looked for it and have not been able to find it.”

Patron: “Well, it’s those darn computers! They don’t scan right!”

(I take a moment to try to figure out what that has to do with anything, no luck.)

Me: “The computers have nothing to do with it at this point, ma’am; the physical book can’t be found at either library.”

Patron: *scoffs* “Well, what happens now?”

Me: “I have asked your library to renew the book, so you won’t be charged any fines while we all continue to look for the book. I recommend you look around your home and your car one more time, just to be sure.”

Patron: “I’m not looking anymore; I returned it! There must be something else that can be done!”

Me: “Did you have a suggestion?”

Patron: “Take the book off my account!”

Me: “I can’t take the book off your account until someone finds it.”

Patron: “Well, it’s not here so I don’t know what you want me to do!”

Me: *done with this conversation* “Well, it’s not here, so I don’t know what you want me to do.”

(She hung up on me. No one’s found the book yet, so guess who got charged a lost book fee?)

1 Thumbs
479

Diary Of A Freelancer  

, , , , , , | Working | January 15, 2020

Friday Morning: “Congratulations, you passed the phone interview. You start on Monday!”

Friday Afternoon: “No, wait, we want to have another phone interview on Monday, instead.”

Monday Morning: “Congrats, you passed the second phone interview. We want you for an in-person interview tomorrow. We’ll phone you by this afternoon with a time to come in tomorrow.”

Monday Afternoon: *nothing*

Tuesday: *nothing*

Wednesday Morning: “Hi, can you come in for an in-person interview in two hours?”

Wednesday Noon: “Congratulations, you passed the in-person interview. You start tomorrow.”

Wednesday Afternoon: “Sorry, we caught up on our backlog of work and don’t need you anymore. But if we do need you, would you be willing to be on call?”

1 Thumbs
438

This Driver Is Bus(t)  

, , , , , , | Working | January 15, 2020

(Since my wife takes the car to work, I take the bus to school. There is a bus stop right next to the house so it’s no trouble. Normally, there’s no problem with this arrangement as the majority of bus drivers are relatively attentive and will stop if they see people. Then, there’s this time. He flies right past me, leaving me screaming and chasing the bus. A passenger yells at the bus driver which forces him to stop after a couple of blocks. I decide to be cool about it, even though it seriously irritates me.)

Bus Driver: *passive, not even looking towards me* “Sorry ’bout that.”

Me: “I guess we all have off days.”

(I pay for my ride and sit. During the ride, he stops for people who start talking to him; clearly they know each other. They don’t even pay but he lets them sit and keeps talking. They don’t even ask for a stop but he does stop where they need to go. Right as I’m starting to think it was just a one-off moment, he blows past the next bus stop, where an old, thin man with a walking cast is holding his cane up to ask to get on the bus. I shout at the bus driver to stop. He backs up the bus about 200 feet back to the stop, incredibly dangerous. The old man gets on the bus, and the driver doesn’t apologize. Now my stop is coming up, so I pull the stop-request lever, naively assuming that the bus driver knows this means the next bus stop is where I want to go. I am mistaken and he blows by my stop.)

Me:Excuse me! I pulled the lever! Stop the bus!”

Bus Driver: “This isn’t one of my stops! I don’t have to!”

Me: *standing up, which means if he keeps driving he is knowingly endangering passengers so he’s forced to stop if he doesn’t want to get fired* “Actually, you do. The official stops are to denote expected timing. You have to stop whenever people are at bus stops, and at the next stop when someone pulls the lever!”

(He stops the bus in the middle of a busy intersection, a couple of blocks away from my stop.)

Bus Driver: *aggressive and angry* “GET OFF MY BUS!”

Me: *mocking and snarky* “WITH PLEASURE! Have a NICE. DAY.”

(I got off the bus and immediately called the bus dispatch and complained about him, both about what happened to me and to the old man. It turns out he had just barely gotten out of mandatory retraining, and this was his first day back after having been forced off the job for a legal infraction. I don’t know if he’s still working for the bus company, but he was taken off my route and one of the good bus drivers returned!)

1 Thumbs
652

A Healthy Belief In Paranoia

, , , , , | Working | January 14, 2020

(The store I work in is small and quiet, sometimes not getting customers for an hour or more. Naturally, most of us spend a lot of time on our phones. I try to be professional about it and only be on my phone if there are no customers around. Even a single customer anywhere in the store, and my phone stays off, no matter how bored I get. None of my coworkers are that cautious, even though I keep reminding them that management can spy on us through the cameras at any time. One day, we’ve just opened, and the only people around are me at the register and the owner in the office. An hour later, he comes out and sees me sitting there playing with my phone. Worried he might disapprove, I immediately start defending myself.)

Me: “Sir, I swear I’m never on my phone when there are any customers around.”

Owner: “You know what? That’s what they all say… and you’re the only one I believe. You’re fine.”

(It’s an interesting feeling when you realize your paranoia was completely justified.)

1 Thumbs
538