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Cash In Hand Is Worth None In The Bush

, , , , , | Right | March 25, 2021

I do face-to-face work for a ticketing company for public transport. I deal with all sorts of angry, rude, and confused customers on a daily basis for ten hours a day. As there is only one person on for ten hours in a small kiosk, we don’t accept cash nor keep it on-site for safety and security reasons. We have about four signs on the window acknowledging that we don’t accept cash but people still try.

Me: “Hi! How can I help?”

Customer: “I want a [Company] top-up card, please.”

Me: “Sure. There is a deposit of $10; how much credit would you like?”

Customer: “$10.”

Me: “Okay, that will be $20 all together.”

I get the EFTPOS machine ready and place it on the desk in front of him. He places a $20 on the counter.

Me: “Sorry, we don’t accept cash here.”

Customer: *Annoyed* “Wow. Okay.”

He starts going through his wallet to find his card, taking his time. The machine times out so I reenter the total and place it on the counter.

Customer: “It’s strange that a government agency doesn’t accept legal tender. Money is legal tender.”

Me: “We just don’t keep cash on site for safety and security.”

Customer: “Yes, but a government agency should accept legal tender. I’m a bush lawyer so I know what I’m talking about.”

Me: “We just can’t accept cash for safety and—”

Customer: *Condescendingly* “Yes, I know but I’m a bush lawyer and you should be taking my cash because it’s legal tender! Government agencies must accept legal tender!”

Once he was finished going on about being a “bush lawyer,” he reluctantly did the transaction by card. When he left, I looked up the definition of a bush lawyer.

A bush lawyer is a person claiming legal or other knowledge who is unqualified to do so.

I couldn’t contain my laughter!

Employees Are People, Too

, , , | Right | February 27, 2021

I work in a stand in a mall. The top shelves of the stand have glass covers and are where most of our product is laid out. I spill a glass of water on the floor whilst serving a customer, so when they buy their items and leave, I run to the restroom to get some paper towels. We don’t have our own restroom; we use the public ones.

When I come back, I have three groups of people around the stand waiting for me, which is normal. What isn’t normal is that one couple has decided they couldn’t wait for me to come back, so they opened the shelf themselves and checked out the products.

I am shocked and just stare at them as I go behind the stand.

Customer: *Annoyed* “Oh, so it’s rude that we took a look around ourselves?”

Me: *Deadpan* “Kind of, yes.”

Customer: *Still annoyed* “But you not being at your workplace isn’t rude?”

Me: *Deadpan* “No. Am I not allowed to use the restroom?”

She gasped and mumbled something under her breath as they walked away. Honestly, the nerve of some people.

Stepping A Foot Into Math

, , , | Right | January 25, 2021

I’m the manager of a concession stand in an amusement park. We have hot dogs that are much larger than your average one; each one is a foot long. We call them Bubba dogs. A customer is staring at the menu, holding up the line for everyone else while her family stands silently.

Guest: “What’s a Bubba dog?”

Me: “That’s our footlong, all-beef hot dog! They’re in that case right there; you can see them!”

Guest: “But how big are they?”

Me: “A foot long, ma’am.”

Guest: *Stares* “So, how big is that?”

Me: *Faltering* “Um, about this big?”

I hold my hands a rough distance apart. The guest’s mother and husband are looking exasperated at this point, and each of them chimes in.

Mother: “It’s twelve inches, dear.”

Husband: “Honey, she just said it’s a foot!”

Guest: “Listen, it’s math! Math was never my strong point!”

I have no idea what to do so I weakly gesture, again, to the clear glass case right next to us with the Bubba dogs in it. The guest looks at them and obviously just now realizes her obliviousness.

Guest: “Oh, that’s too big! Just give me a regular hot dog.”

After they received their food and walked away, I could still hear her protesting to her family that “math was never her strong point.”

A Signature Sign Of Fraud

, , , , , | Right | December 23, 2020

I work at a Christmas market selling sausages at a booth. One customer doesn’t seem happy with the change I gave her.

Customer: “Excuse me, this bill has something written on it. I want another bill.”

Me: *Looking at the bill* “I can’t find anything wrong.”

Customer: *Sighs* “Right here.”

She points at a part of the bill; I can’t help but chuckle.

Me: “Madam, this is the signature of our financial minister. There is one like that on every banknote; it’s printed on and without it, it wouldn’t be valid and would be a forgery.”

Customer: “But there isn’t one on this one!”

She pulls out another note, with an obvious signature on it. I point it out to her.

Me: “There is a signature there, as well, see? It’s just from the last minister. I’m sorry, but you’re keeping other people waiting and I don’t have the time to look through my change to get you a bill with another signature.”

Customer: *Huffs away angrily*

Teaching The Kids Free Speech

, , , , , | Right | December 22, 2020

I’m doing a Christmas craft show, where I’m selling a variety of things. A man and his three kids — a young daughter around four or five, and two boys around eight to ten — come up to browse. The father and one of the boys are browsing quietly, and the girl is making noises of delight. I have this conversation with one of the boys:

Boy: “Why does your stuff cost so much?”

Me: “So I can afford to buy the stuff to make them and so I’m reimbursed for the time and skill I used to make them.”

Boy: “Oh. I wish I could have this for free.”

I don’t really have a response for this, so I turn to look toward the rest of the family.

Boy: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes?”

Boy: “I said I wish I could have this for free.”

Me: “Yup. I heard you.”

The father then called the son over to him, gave me an apologetic look, and ushered his family away.