When Life Gives You Gay Lemons…

, , , , , | Right | June 21, 2019

(I work in a lemonade stand inside of a college football stadium, so, therefore, most of our customers are drunk college boys. We have two flavors: regular and sugar-free pink lemonade.)

Customer: “What kind of lemonade do you have?”

Me: “Well, we have regular and pink, which is sug—“

Customer: *cuts me off mid-sentence* “That’s gay! I’m not drinking pink lemonade. That’s gay!

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Unfiltered Story #153762

, , , | Unfiltered | June 7, 2019

(I am working at the concessions stand for a small theater company, during their summer outdoor show. We are currently located in a park, right next to a dry fake river. I see a small child run by holding his crotch. I think nothing of it, and head off to put away some boxes. When I come back, though, I see his dad quickly pulling the kid’s pants up. They give me guilty looks and walk away. I look down. On the concrete riverbank is a very obvious ‘water’ stain. I run over to my coworkers.)

ME: Hey, uh, you guys? I think that kid just peed over there…

Eel Lady Attacks!

, , , , , | Right | April 19, 2019

(I’m a sushi chef in a small kiosk in a grocery store. We rent the kiosk from the store but are owned by a parent company. One of the rolls we have is slices of eel on balls of rice, topped with sesame seeds and a sauce.)

Customer: “EXCUSE ME!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “What are these… things on the eel?!”

Me: “Those are sesame seeds, ma’am.”

Customer: “I don’t want them! Make me a new one this instant!”

(She then opens the package containing the sushi and throws it at me, hitting my chest and smearing sauce down my front. I stare at her and slowly turn, making her a new set with no seeds. I hand it to her and she walks away, no thank you or apology. Twenty minutes later, she storms back up, and again, she throws the eel at me, this time hitting my face, as well.)


Me: *trying to keep my cool, because I need the job* “Ma’am, you requested that I make you a roll with no seeds.”

Customer: “Don’t you lie to me, you little b****! I want my g**d*** roll made right!”

(I very quietly made her a new roll, this time pouring the seeds into a sauce cup with a lid. I handed it to her, and she left again. Ten minutes later, the lady came back with a grocery store manager, demanding that I be fired for my rudeness. He listened to my side and told her that even if I had done anything wrong, he had no authority to fire me, as I was not his employee. She stomped her feet in the most childish way and stormed out. Thirty minutes later, I looked up to see Eel Lady, as she is now known, walking back through the door, her cheeks puffy. She walked up to me, chewing, and then proceeded to spit chewed-up eel and rice all over me. Eel Lady was then escorted out and permanently banned from the store.)

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Unfiltered Story #142214

, | Unfiltered | March 2, 2019

(I’m a newbie cashier in a very small newsstand that sells souvenirs like mugs, shirts. The POS system isn’t very sophisticated because most of the customers only buy one or two things.)

Customer: “Here, all these.” *dumps a HUGE pile of items on my small counter*

Me: *begins to ring it up* “Ma’am, I have to tell you…our system isn’t very good so all sales are final. We can’t return items or give refunds.”

Customer: “That’s okay! I’m SURE I want everything!”

(She goes off to browse and puts even MORE stuff. I call for help, but the manager’s away. I do my best and after about an hour, I get it done.)

Customer: “It’s about time, I’m in a hurry you know! I have an appointment with my therapist!”

Me: “Well, your total is….$450.”

(She hands me a credit card and I run it, after explaining again that there’s no refunds.)

Customer: “Actually…that’s too much. I’ll take this and this out.”

Me: “Ma’am, I told you there’s no refunds! I already ran your card and it went through!”

Customer: “WHAT?! How dare you say that? What kind of store doesn’t let you take off a few things?!”

(She rants and raves, screams and stomps, demanding that I take off a few things even though I told her we can’t. Finally the manager comes over and she goes completely ballistic on him too. He pages his superior, the store manager, who does it after 20 min.)

Store Manager: “Sorry about that, ma’am here’s your receipt.”

Customer: “Your employees need to be fired! I missed my appointment for their laziness!” *storms off with 30 bags*

(I quit that day.)

Let Me Check The Non-Existent Back For The Non-Existent Flower

, , , | Right | March 1, 2019

(I work in a small flower stall on a pretty busy street. We just got our flowers and stuff in the morning, and we do not have any storage rooms, which is pretty obvious. During my shift a customer comes up.)

Customer: “Do you have [flower] in red?”

Me: *knowing that this flower does not exist in that colour* “No, sir, I’m sorry, but this flower does not exist in red; therefore, we do not store it.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I am pretty sure, because it does not exist.”

Customer: “You just don’t want to look it up in your storage room.” *leaves angrily*

(Where the f*** are we supposed to have a storage room if we just have a small stall in the street? Some people.)

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