In My Day We Did Inventory, By Hand, Backward, In The Snow!

, , , | Right | September 14, 2020

I work at a small hardware store. We have both a cashier and a PC for shipping and registering. Usually, the clients are fine with that, but some are not because of the store location. I am also a student so I am working until this customer comes by.

Customer #1: “Hello.”

Me: “Hello, sir. May I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, can you give me some size [number] bolts and screws?”

Me: “Sure.”

I go look for what he was asking.

Customer #1: “Heh, why did it take you so long?”

Me: “I was looking for the size you asked me, sir.”

Customer #1: “No, it was because you are so accustomed to your PC and…”

He goes off, telling me about how PCs are bad for today’s youth and how, in the old times, they used to do stuff without them, until another customer enters.

Customer #1: “…and this is why…”

Customer #2: “Well, sir, are you going to buy or complain about today’s youth?”

Customer #1: “Buy stuff.”

Customer #2: “Well, in that case, sir, please pay whatever you have to pay and stop complaining because, in case you don’t know, the young man could have other priorities like studying or working on the store’s inventory.”

Customer #1: “Right.”

The customer paid and went away. I attended the other customer but I gave him what he asked for free, as he was right; I had to study and finish the store inventory.

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Unfiltered Story #206240

, | Unfiltered | August 27, 2020

(Our store has consoles for renting. Our biggest group of clients come from the nearby high school and middle school, which means that about at noon the store will be full of students from the afternoon turn who have some time to kill before classess start. Our store has a second floor with three consoles which people who prefer to have privacy tend to chose. This day in particular, the upper floor is completely occupied. Then a group of four middle schoolers stands outside the store until one of them approaches the desk)

Student 1:” Excuse me, do you have consoles available upstairs?”

Me: “No, sorry, they are all occupied.”

(Before I can say another word, the student leaves to talk to the group. Then another one approaches)

Student 2: “Do you have consoles available upstairs?”

Me: “Uh, sorry, all occupied.”

(He also leaves to talk to the group. A third one approaches)

Student 3: “Hi, can you give me console 7?” (Note, console 7 is upstairs)

Me: (Internally facepalming): “Sorry, it’s occupied for another twenty minutes.”

Student 3: “Oh well, can you give me Grand Theft Auto?”

Me: (Relieved) “Sure, I have it in console number 2”.

Student 3: “Do you have it upstairs?”

Me: (Internally screaming) “No, sorry, all the consoles upstairs are occupied.”

(The student returns to his group, they speak for a moment and they all leave. Did they think having different people ask will suddenly make a console available?)

Leave It To Ben & Jerry To Make Things Awkward, Part 3

, , , , , | Romantic | July 27, 2020

I’m at home. A friend is staying with me due to quarantine. While she is on Facebook, she tells me there is a new Ben and Jerry’s flavor called “Netflix and Chill.” I have been single for five years.

Me: “So I’ll finally be able to get some Netflix and chill!”

Friend: “It is peanut butter ice cream; you’re allergic to peanuts.”

Me: “Maybe I should start thinking about becoming a nun, since not even ice cream will let me have some Netflix and chill.”

Leave It To Ben & Jerry To Make Things Awkward, Part 2
Leave It To Ben & Jerry To Make Things Awkward

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Unfiltered Story #200749

, | Unfiltered | July 17, 2020

(I’m on a fairly known pharmacy chain in Mexico which also has a doctor’s office attached. This particular doctor tends to have at least some patients waiting during the day because he has some fame in our town, so I sit in the waiting room. Almost immediately, the door opens and an older man and his wive are yelling at the doctor)

Man: (Irate) No! I will not tolerate that you disrespect my wife like that!

Doctor: Sir, calm down. I didn’t disrespect your wife.

Wife: Yes you did!

Doctor: No, it’s just the rules, and it says so in the waiting room: only the person getting the consultation can enter.

Man: I don’t care! You were disrespectful! How about if I disrespected you, eh? Like this? (He proceeds to take the doctor’s booklet where he writes prescriptions). Eh? How do you like that?!

(At this point, a middle-aged woman sitting next to this big and burly young man playing a portable videogame speaks up)

Woman: Sir, please, can you calm down? It’s the rules of the business.

Man: You stay out of this, b****!

(When hearing this, the young man sitting next to her stands up. While he was sitting he looked pretty calm and like he didn’t care about the world outside his game, but right now he looks downright scary)


(The man and his wife go pale and get out of there. But they still take the doctor’s booklet with them)

Woman: Wow, sorry about that.

Doctor: Well, at least there’s plenty of people here to help out in case they try to follow with their threats to sue me.

(He goes to the main desk of the pharmacy and asks for another booklet. In the meanwhile, the woman’s son has gone back to his videogame, looking just as calm as before. I didn’t expect to see such a scene when I just went to get the doc look at mysore throat!)

On The Bright Side, Your Hair Can See Really Well

, , , , | Related | June 23, 2020

I’m running errands with my daughter. She’s autistic and doesn’t feel comfortable talking. We usually manage to communicate just fine despite this.

Me: “Hey, sweetheart, have you seen my reading glasses?”

My daughter points to my head.

Me: “No, those are my sunglasses; I’m looking for my reading glasses.”

My daughter looked at me like I was an idiot and pointed to my head again. I felt around the top of my head to appease her.

Lo and behold, I had, indeed, perched both pairs atop my head without realizing.

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