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Feliz Navidad

, , , , , , | Right | December 23, 2022

I’m from the United States, but I minored in Spanish in college, so when my family took a Christmas vacation to Cabo San Lucas, I was a translator for them, and soon almost all of the staff knew me as the white girl who spoke Spanish. I had a lot of fun and made a few friends, especially as the staff would sometimes come to me for translations if they didn’t know! 

On Christmas Day, we were in the café eating breakfast when a staff member ran up to me frantically asking to translate for another guest. She was asking how many staff workers were in the kitchen. When I translated and got the number, the guest pulled wrapped Christmas presents out of her bag! Turns out she always brought small presents to the staff at resorts to thank them for working the holiday! 

It was a really uplifting moment and I was so glad to be a part of it!

It’s Bad Enough When The Students Are The Bullies

, , , , , , | Learning | November 7, 2022

In sixth grade, my history teacher once gave us a fairly easy test, but with a question on a topic that we hadn’t learned in class. Being a huge history nerd, I had no problem answering it, not even thinking much about it.

When she gave the test results back, everyone had an eight; they had just missed the last question. I, however, had a zero, even though everything was correct.

Me: “[Teacher], why did I get a zero?”

Teacher: “Since we haven’t covered that topic yet, it’s clear that you cheated.”

Me: “I just love history; I’ve already read about that topic just for the sake of it.”

This happened in 2006, so there was absolutely no way I could have Googled the question on a smartphone, and she kept all our textbooks during tests. She looked in my desk and even in my backpack. She found no evidence of cheating, but she still insisted I had cheated.

I decided not to argue with her and instead took it to the principal. Since cheating accusations were taken very seriously at my school, the next day, my parents, the teacher, and I were called to the principal’s office. After my teacher explained the whole situation, my father went straight to her.

Father: “So, you wrote a question on a topic that you hadn’t taught, expecting everyone to fail to answer, and then you punished the only student that answered? Why did you put that question in the first place? Did you put it intentionally to lower their grades, knowing that the highest grade would be eight? Are you such a bad teacher that you don’t even know what you have taught? Or are you such an a**hole that you feel the need to bully some twelve-year-olds because you know more about history? And since [My Name] knows history, you decided to bully him?”

My teacher was livid. She tried to answer but couldn’t find the words.

To be honest, before this, the teacher had been actually a very good teacher, and I did learn a lot with her. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time she had picked a student to bully, and she was fired on spot.

Nana’s Unsolicited (And Hilarious) Opinion

, , , , , , | Related | October 25, 2022

My great-grandma, while miraculously still alive, is senile and half-deaf, so we are never sure if she understands what’s going on around her at any given time. Nonetheless, we try to include her during mealtimes and such.

One day, the whole family is having breakfast together and chatting.

Brother: “[Friend] got in some kind of trouble with the cops. I’m not sure what for, but I think it was soliciting…”

Mom: “Shut it! Saying such things in front of your Nana, honestly!”

Brother: “What? She’s not even listening!”

Nana: *Suddenly yelling* “FLAT A*** AIN’T WORTH THE MONEY, HON!”

She was, in fact, listening.

Sorry, Ma’am, But Racism’s Gonna Cost Ya

, , , , , | Right | September 20, 2022

A woman calls from the five-star resort that we booked for her. She sounds panicked.

Caller: “I need to get back in the country!”

Me: “Ma’am, your cancellation policy won’t cover the expense of—”

Caller: “I don’t care about the bill! Get me out of here!”

Me: “May I ask why, ma’am?”

Caller: “There are Mexicans everywhere!”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re staying at a resort in Mexico.”

Caller: “No, not the help! They’re guests! There are Mexicans who are guests!

She flew home six days early on her seven-day vacation… because there were too many Mexicans in Mexico.

What Crawled Into His Luggage And Died?

, , , , | Working | March 28, 2022

My husband and I go on a vacation to Mexico. When we land, I’m surprised to see a tiny dilapidated set of stairs to get off the plane and lead us to customs. Our baggage goes through the scanner system, which I find odd because we had to scan it to get on the plane.

The person loading bags into the scanner is not watching the other end, and people’s bags are rolling off the end as one of the other passengers is having all of their bags searched and we are backed up. Some of the others try to tell the scanner official to stop, but he doesn’t. Instead, we have to pick up our bags off the floor. I’m irritated, and I guess it shows because [Official #1] comes up to us.

Official #1: “You are selected for search. Do you have any food, lithium batteries, or electronic cigarettes?”

Husband: “I have an e-cigarette, yes.”

Official #1: “Take your bag and go see that gentleman.”

She points to another official.

Official #2: “What do you have?”

Husband: “An e-cigarette.”

Official #2: *Rolls his eyes* Where? Which bag?”

Husband: “Oh, in the small pocket there.”

He goes to point it out but the official swats his hand away.

Official #2: “I will conduct my search. Do not touch.”

[Official #2] proceeds to dump out all four of our bags on the table and drop our luggage on the floor, sifting through all of our clothing before coming to my medicine bag.

Official #2: “What is this? Needles?”

Me: “I’m diabetic. I have a note from my doctor in—”

Official #2: “You need needles?”

I’m getting impatient but trying to stay polite.

Me: “Yes. It’s insulin.”

Official #2: “Hmm.”

He takes the medication and puts it on a table behind him.

Official #2: “Where is this cigarette?”

Husband: “Where I pointed in the beginning. In the bag on the floor.”

Official #2: “Sir, you do not get rude with me. I am doing my job.”

We say nothing. He picks up our bag and finally opens the small pocket with the e-cigarette. Without even picking it up, he closes the pocket.

Official #2: “You may go. Pack up, hurry!”

Me: “I need my insulin back.”

Official #2: “No. No drugs in Mexico.”

I almost laugh.

Me: “I’m not moving without it.”

[Official #2] calls out in Spanish.

Official #3: “Miss, you have an issue? You must go—”

Me: “He asked where my husband’s e-cigarette was but didn’t even look where we told him until the very end. He made a mess of all of our clothing. He took my insulin and put it over there.”

Official #3: “Insulin?”

Me: “I have a doctor’s note.”

I show him my note. [Official #3] speaks to [Official #2] in Spanish. [Official #2] picks up my medicine and slaps it on the table in front of me.

Official #2: “Now go.”

Me: “Thank you.”

We quickly stuffed all of our clothing in our luggage and left. The rest of the visit was great, but that one interaction made me wonder if I want to come back at all.