On The Bright Side, Your Hair Can See Really Well

, , , , | Related | June 23, 2020

I’m running errands with my daughter. She’s autistic and doesn’t feel comfortable talking. We usually manage to communicate just fine despite this.

Me: “Hey, sweetheart, have you seen my reading glasses?”

My daughter points to my head.

Me: “No, those are my sunglasses; I’m looking for my reading glasses.”

My daughter looked at me like I was an idiot and pointed to my head again. I felt around the top of my head to appease her.

Lo and behold, I had, indeed, perched both pairs atop my head without realizing.

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It’s Pickle Slick!

, , , , , , , , | Right | June 12, 2020

My girlfriend and I are stuck at home and we’re ordering food through a delivery app. In the special instructions, she requests that the burgers have no pickles since she doesn’t like them.

When the food finally arrives, she eats her portion and I decide to eat mine later. When she’s finished, she angrily tells me to look at the s*** bag that we were delivered. I go to look and on the side of the bag there is a message that reads, “Ex-tra pickles. Have a great day :)”.

At this point, I tear open my burger to see if it has pickles — I love them, by the way! — and found none. I ask my girlfriend if hers had pickles and there were none on hers, either, so no harm done. She then goes into a rant while I try to explain to her that it was a joke on behalf of the fast food worker and that there was no harm done.

It even gets a chuckle out of me, which only makes my girlfriend angrier, and she continues on her rant about paying for a service and expecting seriousness and hiring a clown if she wanted humor.

I hope that whoever did this to the food finds this post so I can tell them that I appreciated the gesture to lighten the situation and that I apologize on behalf of my girlfriend.

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When You Remember That Staff Are Human, Too

, , | Right | June 4, 2020

On my way to the store’s computers to type in an order — during a very packed Sunday — I come across a customer complaining loudly to my manager.

Customer: “Your employees are so lazy. I’ve been here for an hour and all they do is fiddle around those computers! This is unacceptable!”

In our store, salesmen have to type in the customers’ orders so the guys in the back can bring in what the customers want. Everyone is busy typing in multiple orders from multiple customers.

Manager: “Do not worry. An available salesman should be with you very soon.”

Me: *Right on cue* “Good afternoon! I will attend you!”

Customer: “About time! I can’t believe it took you so long. Y’all should be fired.”

The customer rants and raves without even following me to the display area, while hurling more insults at my coworkers. I am losing my patience as I am already stressed out as it is.

Me: “I SAID I WILL ATTEND YOU!”

The customer freezes in place and looks at me with a shocked face as if no one has talked to her like that before. After a couple of seconds of recovering:

Customer: “Don’t use that tone with me! I am a customer! I’m going to pay you with my money! I’m not trying to beg for gifts or anything!”

Realizing my mistake but still visibly angry, I give out what may seem like a very sarcastic smile and tone.

Me: “I apologize. Now, as I said… I will attend you.”

Customer: “You know what? I don’t want anything anymore! This store can go to h***.”

The customer stormed out angrily, my manager complimented me for getting rid of her — she was a known bad regular — and I went back to work.

Later, I found out that she came back with her husband, but not one of my coworkers wanted to take her order. One did eventually, but then, it turned out that we had run out of stock for what she wanted!

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Unfiltered Story #194899

, | Unfiltered | May 24, 2020

(I work as a front desk clerk at a hotel. Just as I arrive to start my shift, I see some guys being escorted out looking pissed off.)
Me: “Hey, [Manager], what’s up with those guys?”
Manager: *sighs* You know the rooms in the north wing?”
(I nod. We’re right next to a school, and the windows of those rooms offer a perfect view of the yard. )
Manager: “Well, the director of [School] just left. We had a very unpleasant talk. Apparently, those guys were catcalling at junior high girls”

“Jumanji” Came Out Twenty-Five Years Ago… Feel Old Yet?

, , | Related | May 14, 2020

I am facing some difficulties during breakfast.

Me: “Mom, we have to buy another toaster.”

Mom: “That one’s still good!”

Me: “Oh, come on! It’s old! It makes weird noises, the springs are blown to h***, and it doesn’t even toast anymore!”

Mom: “It’s not that old.”

Me: “Mom, when you bought this toaster, the original Jumanji was still in theatres. I think it’s about time we get a new one.”

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