She’s Really Pushing It

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 6, 2019

(My family has gathered to celebrate a birthday, and I go with my fifteen-year-old cousin to buy a cake. Since it’s quite busy, I tell my cousin to get in line for the registers while I go and pick the cake. Just as I’m getting in line with her, a middle-aged woman cuts the line right in front. My cousin speaks up but the woman just tells her to get out of her way. I tell my cousin to just let it go, and when she asks why, I say, loudly:)

Me: “Well… it’s clear that she’s in such a hurry, she can’t wait any longer and felt it necessary to be rude to other people and cut the line. If we let her go before us, we get to be the kind young people who let an older lady who’s in a hurry go first, while she ends up as the one who shouted and almost pushed a fifteen-year-old girl.”

(The woman, as was my intention, heard me and began to shout at me and my cousin. The manager approached her and asked her to leave, because she had cut the line and was annoying the other customers.)

 

The Ten Year Challenge Where Nothing Changed

, , , , , | Friendly | February 1, 2019

(It is the late 90s. My grandparents have just moved into a new apartment and we are all hanging out when the telephone rings.)

Caller: *in a strong Argentinian accent* “Alo? I’m looking for Charlie.”

Uncle: “You must have the wrong number; there’s no Charlie here.”

Caller: “Okay. Thank you.”

(We think nothing of that… until 2006. We are all hanging out one last time in the apartment, since the next day my grandparents will move to a new house. The phone rings.)

Caller: *with a strong Argentinian accent* “Alo? I’m looking for Charlie.”

Uncle: “You must have the wrong number; there’s no Charlie here.”

Caller: *suddenly remembering the last phone call* “Che… do you guys still live there?!” *hangs up*

(After all these years, the same guy called the same wrong number while looking for the same person and the same uncle answered him using the exact same words.)

Unfiltered Story #138498

, , | Unfiltered | February 1, 2019

This is a story my brother told me, he was working at an otsourced call center for a major cable company in USA.

Brother: Thank you for calling Comcast Custome service, My name is Sal, how can I help you?

Customer: I want you to cancel these charges!

Brother: Can you give me your customer code or phone number?

The irate lady provides her customer number and my brother sees copious amounts of porn movies rentals.

Brother: Ma’am, you seem to have rented several movies this month.

Customer: What!? I did not do such thing! What movies were rented!?

My brother proceeds to read the titles of the movies, cinema gems such as “Cheating Wives”, “Naughty Coeds” and some others too explicit to mention here. As he continues to read the names she interrupts him.

Customer: WE ARE GOOD CHRISTIANS HERE WE DID NOT RENT THOSE MOVIES!!!

Brother: It says here they were rented from your secondary box.

Customer: That’s impossible that’s my son’s TV, he’s only 11

She gasped suddendly as if some epiphany got to her and yells to the top of her lungs

Customer: SON!! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!!

She quickly hangs up

Direction Deflection

, , , , , | Friendly | January 31, 2019

(I am waiting for the bus. As soon as it comes into view, a young man approaches me.)

Man: “Excuse me, miss. Do you know if this bus goes to [Direction]?”

Me: “Yeah, sounds about right.”

Man: “Great! Thanks.”

(He got on the bus with me. Two hundred meters later, at the next stop, he jumped out of his seat, sprinted across four — thankfully empty — lanes to the other end of the intersection and got on a different bus… going in the opposite direction. I was left confused.)

Jehovah’s Witless, Part 15

, , , , | Friendly | January 30, 2019

(Just as I am going out of my house, I run into a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses.)

Old Lady #1: *standing in the doorway and not letting me out* “Do you have time to listen to the word of God? I can read you some passages that explain the current state of the country.”

Me: *irritated but trying to be gentle* “No, sorry. I’m running late.”

Old Lady #2: *still not letting me out of my house* “What can be so important that you’re rushing to it but don’t have time for the word of God?”

Me: *even more irritated* “A Satanic Mass.”

(Offended, they went away almost running. The next time they came to my street, I saw them skip my house.)

Related:
Jehovah’s Witless, Part 14
Jehovah’s Witless, Part 13
Jehovah’s Witless, Part 12

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