No Use Crying Over Spilled Tea(cakes)

, , , , , , , , | Working | July 23, 2020

Sitting upstairs in the cafe in our village, I was in view of people going up and down the stairs. At the table across from me was a little old lady who had ordered a toasted teacake — a sort of bready thing with currants and sultanas and things in it.

Up the stairs came the waitress with the teacake on a plate. She tripped and stumbled, and the teacake slipped off the plate and landed on the stairs. “Oh, s***,” said the waitress, and quickly grabbed the teacake and put it back on the plate and delivered it to her customer.

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The Dog Doesn’t Bite But This Clerk Might

, , , , , , | Working | July 21, 2020

I get one of those “Sorry we missed you” cards from the postal service, so I have to go to the local post office branch to collect a parcel. I am meeting with a friend the same day, so I take my dog and we decide to stop by the post on the way to the coffee house. 

My local post office branch — unsurprisingly — has a no-dogs-allowed policy, which I am well aware of. This is why I hand the lead to my friend and both she and my dog wait for me right outside the entrance. I go in. There are no other people at the time, so I go straight to the clerk with my ID and my reference number.

Me: “Good afternoon. Can I please collect my parcel?”

Clerk: “Is this your dog?” *Looking outside*

Me: “Yes.”

Clerk: “Dogs are not allowed!”

She points at a poster on the wall that confirms the same.

Me: “That’s okay; he will stay outside.”

Clerk: “No, dogs are not allowed!”

Me: “I understand that. He will not enter the building. They are just waiting for me outside. Now, can I have my parcel?”

Clerk: “Dogs are not allowed!”

Me: *Slightly annoyed* “My dog is not inside the premises, so I do not see a problem. Are you telling me that I won’t be served because I have a pet?!”

Clerk: “DOGS ARE NOT ALLOWED!”

She is getting quite fanatical, repeating the same thing over and over again. I’m a very patient person, but after five minutes of “Dogs are not allowed,” I get fed up.

Me: “Any chance I could speak to someone else here?”

Clerk: “No! Dogs are not allowed!”

Me: “Hello? Anybody back there?”

I raise my voice, hoping that somebody else will come, and a manager quickly shows up.

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Clerk: “The lady has a dog; dogs are not allowed!”

Manager: “But… but… the dog is outside.”

Clerk: “NO! Dogs are not allowed, THOSE ARE THE RULES! YOU SHOULD KNOW THE RULES!”

The manager looked baffled. He sent away the clerk, apologised profusely, and handed me my parcel.

The clerk still works there, but I see her mostly in the back room sorting the parcels. I guess my situation wasn’t the only issue, so they are trying to keep her away from customers.

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Death And Taxes, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | July 21, 2020

I work for a local council. We have a regular landlord who comes in to complain about his tenants’ Council Tax. We have seen the tenancy agreements he writes up and some of them have ridiculous conditions for the tenants to sign.

Landlord: “I have been sent the Council Tax bill for [address] in my name, but I am not liable. The tenancy for [Tenant] hasn’t ended yet; therefore, he is liable.”

After checking notes on the system:

Me: “Sir, sadly, this customer has passed away. He does not have any living relatives or executors. As this property belongs to you, you are liable for the Council Tax.”

Landlord: “Well, his tenancy agreement is on your system, so you will be able to see that he signed it for until [date], making him liable.”

He made a ninety-six-year-old man sign a four-year tenancy.

Me: “Sir, he didn’t know he was going to die, did he?”

Landlord: *Arrogant* “No.”

Me: “Sir, do you know when you are going to die?”

Landlord: *Scoffs* “No, of course not.”

Me: “So, how do you expect him to pay if he is dead? How would you like it if I made you pay the Council Tax after you died?”

Landlord: *Again all arrogant* “You can’t because I’d be dead!”

Me: “Exactly.”

He walked away mumbling, “But he signed a four-year tenancy!”

Related:
Death And Taxes

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Unfiltered Story #201334

, , , | Unfiltered | July 21, 2020

Me: Thank you for calling [Company], you’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help you?
Caller: Could you please repeat that? I can’t understand your American Accent!
Me: I apologize, I get that comment a lot but I am actually from Australia.
Caller: You’re from where?!
Me:….Australia?
Caller: Where is that?!
Me:…..In the south of the world?

A Storm Of Complaints

, , , , , | Right | July 21, 2020

I work for our small local council. We have one main customer service office and a few other offices in the outer districts where customers can come in and ask about a majority of council services.

We have a disabled regular who lives in a district area but still manages to make it into the main office. He either comes on a mobility scooter or powered wheelchair and is always complaining about the smallest of things and reminding us of his disability.

He once came into the main office to complain about a wobbling street sign; we were in the middle of a storm.

This time, he was going past our district office in his wheelchair. I braced myself, preparing for him to come in and complain. But he had dropped his phone onto the pavement and had gone past it in his wheelchair. I prepared to go help him as I thought he hadn’t noticed the phone drop, but before I could get up, he had gotten up out of his wheelchair, had a good old stretch, looked around, walked back to where he dropped the phone, and bent down to pick it up.

I was speechless.

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