, , , , , , , , | Working | October 29, 2019

My partner works in IT. Sometimes, he will have to reset passwords for internal systems. The formula for this is typically: Adjective – Noun – Number. These are one-use passwords that are automatically generated.

One day, my partner gets called into the office by the office manager. The man has a very grave expression on his face. Next to him is a middle-aged woman.

They sit my partner down and explain that he needs to be more sensitive and that they are sending him to sexual harassment training, giving him a warning, and if it happens again he will lose his job.

My partner is very confused, mainly because he has been in a committed relationship for ten years, and whilst not married, they have three kids together. He explains that he has no idea what’s going on, and he has never harassed someone intentionally.

Suddenly, the woman that my partner has never seen before pipes up and shouts, “It’s the d*** passwords. He’s sexually harassing me with his suggestive passwords!”

My partner looks even more confused and asks the office manager to explain. The woman is an internal client who locked herself out of the system. A randomly-generated password was sent out automatically from whoever was on out-of-hours call. It just happened to be my partner. He has never spoken to this woman in his life.

“What password?” my partner asks. “They’re randomly generated; you know that, right?”

The office manager gets extremely embarrassed, as he didn’t know that. He then asks the woman to write down the password so he can get the two words removed from the database, to make sure that the system does not generate any more offensive passwords.

The password that was generated? SadClown12

My partner and the office manager both get even more confused, and the manager asks the woman to explain how that could be offensive.

The woman then goes on to explain that it is an obscure sex act and she shouldn’t be harassed at work by such horrible language.

Makes you wonder how she knew about the sex act in the first place, if it was so offensive…

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The Power Of A Half Hour  

, , , , , , | Working | October 28, 2019

I was looking to buy a dress for a wedding. After searching all of the shops on the high street, I finally found one that I liked. It was red and floor-length and fairly inexpensive. I picked it up. I bought it. I left.

End of story. Not quite.

About half an hour later, I was meeting a friend and I pulled the dress out of the bag to show her. She quickly spotted a massive scuff mark on the skirt, between one of the pleats, that I hadn’t seen.

I went back to the shop immediately and tried to get an exchange.

I handed over my receipt and showed them the scuff mark and asked if I could swap it. Suddenly, the woman called the manager over and they started whispering. They disappeared into the back with the dress and another sales assistant came over to explain that I couldn’t return the dress because I’d clearly worn it and that I should be ashamed for trying to return a dress with the tags after wearing it to an event.

I stood there, shocked and silent, as this woman railed on me for doing something I didn’t do.

I’ll never forget the look on her face when I asked her to check the time stamp on the receipt, which showed that I had only bought the dress half an hour before.

I decided to get a refund instead of an exchange and I bought another dress elsewhere.

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Being Childless Can Be Taxi-ing 

, , , , , , , | Working | October 28, 2019

I was meeting a friend for breakfast one morning, and rather than drive I decided to get a taxi using a well-known taxi app.

Everything was going fine until I innocently mentioned that my weekend plans involved visiting my baby niece. The driver asked if I had kids or was married, and I happily said no and that I had no intention of either.

Big. Mistake.

I was treated to the remaining fifteen-minute journey listening to a lecture on how his culture’s children were better than mine because they stay with their parents, care for them, and don’t leave them. He said I probably moved out as soon as I could, because that is what “my culture” encouraged. He was genuinely shocked when I said I visit my parents weekly and we all live very close to each other.

As I seriously considered how painful it would be to ditch out of a car doing 40 mph on a busy road, he then started extolling the benefits of arranged marriage, how well it worked, and why it was the best thing ever. He said I should really consider it because I need to have kids, because who would look after me when I am old, otherwise?

Throughout, his tone was calm and reasonable, and he kept asking if I agreed with him — prompting non-committal noises from me. I was honestly worried at making him angry if I disagreed, like he was waiting for me to say something.

When we arrived at the restaurant, he parked about as far away as he could manage. It was raining. I didn’t care. 

Next time someone asks me about my personal life, I’m going to stick to the tried and tested “Yes, I have a son! He is three and moves very quickly! He’s a fussy eater, though. Want to see a picture? Yes, I know that’s a snake… Where are you going?”

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Unfiltered Story #173101

, , | Unfiltered | October 28, 2019

(I’m in a pub chain known for low prices and theme meal days. This is curry day and I’m at the bar waiting to order lunch. There is one customer in front of me in the queue)

Customer: I would like the chicken korma please
Bar man: What would you like to drink with that?
Customer: Nothing, I don’t drink
Bar man: It includes * long list of different soft and non alcoholic drinks*
Customer: I said NOTHING
Bar man: Very well, that’s £7.25 please
Customer: The menu says £6.15
Bar man: That’s if you have a drink with it
Customer: STOP TRYING TO RIP ME OFF! it’s never cheaper with a drink!
Bar man: That’ll be £7.25 please.
The customer pays up and goes off grumbling about trying to force her to spend more on a drink.

Unfiltered Story #173099

, , , | Unfiltered | October 28, 2019

I’m deaf in my left ear and wear a cochlear implant and partially deaf in my right ear but have a regular hearing aid in it. Both can be seen as I have my hair up. I’m at a mini supermarket waiting to pay. The 5 tills are along the wall to our right but we queue to the left to wait. There are people at tills 1 and 2 when I’m called to till 4. The customers at till 2 move their son in so I can pass. I smile as a way of thanks and the man and child holding his hand smile back as an acknowledgement.

Customer: Hey! Rude! Some people say thank you!

I turn to her and speak. My speech isn’t too bad as I wasn’t born deaf (I contracted meningitis when I was about 12), but it certainly isn’t crystal clear and you can tell I have hearing issues.

Me: I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would need to hear the words THANK YOU. I hoped you would be polite enough to realise that forcing my to speak aloud in public might be a problem and my smile of thanks would be enough.

Customer: F*** o** pulling that s*** just to get sympathy. I’m not the b**** here. You’re the one being rude.

The shop suddenly went very quiet. I could see an employee walking toward us when the man of the couple spoke.

Male customer: What the hell, (name)? You can’t just yell at people like that. She didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve had enough of this. You either apologise or we’re (he and the little boy) going.

She just looked from me to the man without saying anything. So he went and left the woman standing alone at the till with about 10 people staring at her. The employee, who turned out to be the manager, then got to us.

Manager: He’s not wrong. Either apologise or get out of my shop….

He then gave her about 10 seconds before talking again.

Manager: Ok then. Get out, now, before I have you removed.

The woman went, while everyone in the shop stared at her. She had the grace to look embarrassed but never apologised to me.