I Only Believe 10% Of Whatever I Hear

, , , , , | Right | January 8, 2019

(This customer has bought £55 worth of items. She has a voucher for 10% off which is applied to the entire purchase. She pays and leaves, but comes back not ten minutes later.)

Customer: “Excuse me. You didn’t take 10% off.”

Me: *checks receipt and points* “No, here it is. You only paid £49.50.”

Customer: “How is that 10%?!”

Me: “It… just is.”

Customer: “No, can I get someone else to fix this? Preferably a man who can actually do maths?”

Me: “I don’t know if there are any men in store at the moment, but regardless, I didn’t actually take 10% off myself. The register did when I scanned your voucher.”

(The woman refuses to listen and goes to reception, where the receptionist and manager — both women — try to convince her that the discount is correct. She again refuses to listen. The manager tells her the next man will be coming in around an hour, and the woman literally waits for him at reception.)

Male Colleague: “I have been told you have an issue with your purchase?”

Customer: “Yes, my voucher wasn’t counted — 10% off.”

Male Colleague: *looks at voucher* “No, it has. The original price was £55, and you paid £49.50. That’s 10% off.”

Customer: “That’s good to know. But really, I can’t stand here all day waiting for you! You need a man in store at all times. I’m much too busy! None of your women had the maths to help!” *storms out*

Male Colleague: “Did she actually wait an hour just for me to tell her what her receipt said?”

Me: “Yup!”

Male Colleague: “And you didn’t bother to tell her you had a maths A-level?”

Me: “I figured after she asked for a ‘man’ that she wouldn’t have listened to me, regardless. I probably could’ve invented calculus and she would still be in doubt as to whether 10% of 55 is 5.5.”

Male Colleague: *laughing* “Well, I didn’t even pass maths!”

Trying To Reason With Them Is Very Taxing

, , , , , , | Friendly | January 6, 2019

(A coworker and I are on the bus home. This coworker is American and holds some political views that are very unusual in the EU. We are talking about tax in Britain which he considers to be too high.)

Me: “But you get quite a lot in return for it. The NHS for example.”

Coworker: “I just don’t believe in taxes.”

Me: “I get that you think they are too high, but you have to believe in some level of taxation.”

Coworker: “No, I don’t believe in any taxes at all.”

Me: “Didn’t you used to work for the army?”

(Another passenger sitting nearby starts sniggering.)

Coworker: “Well, I believe in taxes for defence, but not for anything else!”

Me: “Did you go to a public school?”

Coworker: “Yes, but…”

Me: “Do you drive on public roads?”

Coworker: “If there were no taxes people would set these things up for themselves.”

(Who knew Republicans are apparently anarchists?)

Unfiltered Story #135458

, , , | Unfiltered | January 6, 2019

Customer buys an item (not going to say what it is) and is happy with it for just over a month, then he comes into the store again with a friend (possibly backup) and says that he went into an other shop and the guy there said that the item he was using was to short for him….WTF? The customer was happy with it until he went into the other shop. I explained to him that there are similar products that we sell that are the same length and have the same performance, but he just wanted a refund. The refund had to be a little less than the original price as he didn’t bring all of the components back. Not a smart move by the customer, seeing that he made the trip to come to our store. I can’t believe how gullible some people really are (okay, granted this guy wasn’t the brightest light bulb in the pack but come on!). I also can’t believe how other shops can get away by B#@! [email protected]*ting at the customers. I wonder if that shopkeeper believes in Karma?

Crashing Headlong Into Jail Time

, , , , , | Legal | January 4, 2019

I work as the compliance manager for a haulage company. My job largely involves making sure the drivers follow the numerous laws, restrictions, and regulations placed on haulage drivers in the EU; however, my side job is that I handle all incidents or crashes involving our company vehicles, accident reports, statements, CCTV footage. It’s all run through me, and I send things off to the relevant parties who need them. Many of these accidents are very mundane, drivers reversing into posts or clipping someone’s mirror off. Every now and then, though, I get something rather more interesting.

In spite of the risks involved in deliberately taking a hit from a vehicle many times the size and weight of a regular car, lorries have always been a hot target for cash for crash scams. The arrival of full-coverage onboard cameras in the last five to ten years has somewhat reduced the amount of these scams in recent years, but we do still get one now and then. This one was a particularly brazen effort.

Our driver was travelling down a motorway at the vehicle’s top speed of 56 mph. The road ahead was clear until a Range Rover pulled in front after overtaking; the Range Rover was very slowly accelerating away, so our driver took no action. This continued for a further half a mile or so, and the Range Rover was 60 or 70 feet ahead when a BMW tore past our driver and dove in front of the Range Rover.

The BMW braked very briefly, but the Range Rover slammed onto the brakes and didn’t let off them. Our driver braked hard himself, but with passing traffic keeping him in his lane, he had nowhere to go but straight into the back of the Range Rover.

Our driver had a load of uncut steel on at the time, and his total vehicle weight was in excess of 40 tons. Our driver was still going just over 40 mph when he hit the Range Rover which by this point had nearly stopped. The impact was devastating, completely caving in the vehicle up to the rear axle, and sending it spinning into the embankment to the side of the road where it proceeded to roll before landing back on its wheels.

Further footage from the onboard camera showed our driver running to the vehicle whilst ringing the emergency services. The occupants of the car were an adult couple and two children aged 11 and 7. Both children, amazingly, were able to exit the vehicle unaided, but the parents were both removed by the ambulance crews.

The police took copies of our footage at the scene, and after reviewing it, released our driver without charge after concluding he did the best he could under terrible circumstances and that the accident wasn’t caused by negligence on his part. The following day, once his vehicle had been recovered and I received the footage myself, I had issues with several aspects of the crash, chiefly the extreme brake response exhibited by the Range Rover which led to the crash.

I passed the footage on to our insurance group citing possible insurance fraud. After reviewing it themselves, our insurance agreed and I left them to it.

They came back to me only a few days later regarding this incident to confirm that it was being treated as an attempted cash-for-crash scam and that the police were involved. It was several weeks later before they returned to me again with full details.

The couple in the Range Rover had conspired to take part in the scam, and had put their unknowing children in the back seats as extra collateral; however, the mother, who was driving, had braked much harder than intended, which caused the accident to be much more severe than they had intended. They might still have gotten away without charge had the BMW that cut them off not been owned and driven by the father’s brother.

As it was, the couple and the man’s brother were all arrested on charges of insurance fraud, dangerous driving, and reckless endangerment. The parents were also charged with child abuse for involving the children. They all received sentences of five to ten years, and the children were sent to the mother’s parents to live whilst their parents served their sentences.

Fifteen years ago, before dash cams were really a thing, this crash would have seen our driver likely lose his license and possibly face criminal charges. Crashes like this saw my company adopt vehicle cameras fleetwide six years ago, and now, thanks to them, we’ve defended against dozens of scams that would have cost our company thousands upon thousands of pounds otherwise — not a bad investment.

Unfiltered Story #135421

, , , | Unfiltered | January 4, 2019

(A customer is looking at a hose that is tapered at one end and has a plug at the other so you can’t measure a cross-section)
Me: Wrap the measuring tape around the pipe, if it comes out as 3.14” then it is indeed 1” diameter.
Customer: What?
Me: If you divide the circumference by Pi you get the diameter. Pi goes on forever but it starts with 3.14.
(Both the customer and a colleague were stunned by this)

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