Unfiltered Story #100066

, , | Unfiltered | November 13, 2017

(I am the customer in this story. My bus arrives and I have my pass in hand, but only then realise I bought a return ticket that morning. I get out my purse, where it should be, but can’t find it. The following is the conversation I have with the bus driver after placing my pass on the reader:)

Me: “[Street Name], please.” *sighs* “I bought a return this morning but now I can’t find it.”

Bus Driver: “Oh dear… you’re also already on [Street Name], so I can’t sell you a ticket to there!”

Me: “Ugh, sorry, [destination name] please.”

Bus Driver: “There you go.” *I begin to walk away* “Don’t forget your card!”

Me: I’ll forget to get off next!”

(Thankfully I didn’t… that would have been a long, expensive and potentially impossible journey home!)

They Were Gunning For An “A”

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 10, 2017

(The UK has very strict gun laws. One day, there are police everywhere and helicopters in the sky. Social media informs me that two people were spotted with guns. The next Monday when I’m in my films and media class…)

Teacher: “Before we start, I just want to thank you guys for being so eager to do your coursework. Next time, though, please alert both the college and the police if you’re going to be filming with realistic replica firearms.”

(He looked pointedly at two of my classmates. I think we know who caused the stir.)

A Self-Serving Why

, , , , , | Right | November 9, 2017

(I am serving at the returns desk. To the far end of the tills is a staff-only area where we sort out the clothing into appropriate sections, sort lost property, etc. All floor staff need access to this area and, as such, often walk back and forth behind the tills whilst tidying up.)

Customer: “I don’t understand why people keep walking behind you; they should be on the tills serving so I don’t have to wait so long.”

Me: “Unfortunately, for security reasons, not all staff are allowed on the tills. Each till is only operated by one person, because if multiple people used the same till money could be stolen and the store wouldn’t be able to tell who it was. Therefore, those people are not allowed to use these tills.”

Customer: *irate* “Yes, yes, yes I get that. But I still don’t understand why they can’t serve me.”

(I had to grit my teeth not to point out I had just told her why.)

Breaking Policy

, , , , | Working | November 9, 2017

(I am a contract truck driver. I am moving a 3.5-tonne van from a repair yard to the store it does deliveries from, a short 50-mile trip. At 30 miles, the dashboard flashes with multiple faults, the major one being “Critical Gearbox Failure.” The van comes out of gear, due to its automatic gearbox, and I coast it to a safe place. I ring my company to get help, and after a while of conferring with the contract company, they tell me to turn the engine off, leave it a minute, and turn it back on. That gets me back on the road for a mile before the whole thing repeats. The second time, they get me to disconnect the battery because, “these vans can have a touchy computer system and a proper reboot fixes things.” Five miles later, there is a loud bang, and the back of the van vaults into the air before dropping hard and much lower. I work out that it is freely slewing at the back and correct for it while dragging to a halt across two lanes of the road. Once I get my breath back and stop shaking, I get out and take a look. The gearbox has pretty much fallen apart. The drive shaft has fallen off, and because this is a rear-wheel drive van it has hit the ground, dug in, and ripped the rear axle off. I ring the office.)

Me: “You know your reboot to disable the alarms?”

Office: “Yes.”

Me: “The alarms were for a d***ed good reason, and I’m lucky to have survived. We need a recovery truck to the middle of the A27 just outside Chichester.”

Office: “Can you get the van to—”

Me: “No, the back wheels need recovering from 100 metres back”.

Office: “Can you push it off—”

Me: “It was a 3.5 tonne truck before it lost big chunks of drive and some wheels; what do you think? I’m calling the police to report it.”

(Policy has now been rewritten so stupid reboots aren’t attempted on the road for some reason, and I’ve never spoken to that dispatcher again. The police had to close the road for two hours to clear debris.)

Trying To Resuscitate Their Knowledge

, , , , , , | Learning | November 9, 2017

(My coworker has just returned from a three-day first aid course, so he can be qualified as the first aide for our pool and gym. On his first day back, we are discussing how his course went.)

Coworker #1: “Oh, God, the course was so boring. I had to fight to stay awake the entire time.”

Me: “Was there nothing that interested you?”

Coworker #1: “Well, the guy who took the course did say he had done something from the course a lot of times.”

Coworker #2: “Resuscitate someone?”

Coworker #1: “No something else, to help keep them alive.”

Coworker #2: “Resuscitation?”

Coworker #1: “No, it was something else! The main thing we learned.”

Coworker #2: “That’s resuscitation!”

Coworker #1: “CPR! He had done CPR to save people!”

Coworker #2 & Me: “What do you think the ‘R’ stands for?”

Coworker #1: “…”

Me: “Please tell me you didn’t sleep through the course.”

(We don’t plan to leave him as the sole first aide of the gym any time soon.)

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