Not The Brightest Crayon In The Box
I work in a gym that has a daycare so that parents who want to work out can leave their children with us for a few hours. I don’t normally work at daycare, but someone has called in sick, so I’ve just started covering the afternoon shift. There are a few kids here who got dropped off before I started.
Customer: “I’m here to pick up Jason.”
Me: “Oh, we actually have two Jasons today. What’s the surname?”
Customer: “Smith, but he won’t respond to that. He’s not that bright. Just grab the four-year-old that looks like he knows what every crayon tastes like.”
I hate to admit it, but when I went back to collect him, her description was accurate. He had a crayon up his nose, and he’d drawn a green beard on himself. My coworker was there, but when asked why she’d let him do that:
Coworker: “No force on earth will get between Jason and his crayons. At least they’re non-toxic.”
When I bring Jason back out to Mummy:
Jason: “Mummy!”
Customer: “Hi there, moppet. Oh… no eyebrows to match the beard today! That’s an improvement.”
Jason: “Yes, Mummy! I practised… restraint!”