Unfiltered Story #167665

, , , | Unfiltered | September 24, 2019

(I have been working at my retail job for about a month, so while relatively new, I know where everything is. I’m working in the fitting rooms when a customer approaches. Note: I am alone in the fitting rooms)

Customer: Stairs…

Me: The stairs are just to your right, ma’am.

Customer: *aggressively* STAIRS!

Me: If you’ll just look to the right ma’am, the stairs are right there. I would show you, but unfortunately I cannot leave the fitting room.

The customer eventually wandered off in the correct direction. I hope she found the stairs!

Unfiltered Story #167643

, , | Unfiltered | September 23, 2019

(I’m the stupid customer here. I go into the shop on a Saturday morning after breaking my old e-cigarette the night before. I say which one I want and the employee gets it from the case)

Employee: would you like me to help you with setting this up?

Me: nope, I’m fine. *long pause* wait actually, I have no idea how to set it up, can you help me?

Employee: *looking confused* yeah, of course. Now what liquids do you want with this?

Me: uhhh… Raspberry… And cherry. No wait, strawberry. Actually no, cherry!

Employee: are you sure?

Me: yeah I’m sure. I’m so sorry, I went out clubbing last night and I think I’ve killed off more than a few brain cells!

Employee: *laughs* don’t worry, I’ve been there myself too!

(I was so embarrassed but he was lovely and polite, really helped me out and I left the shop with a smile on my face, despite my horrible hangover!)

Unfiltered Story #167641

, , | Unfiltered | September 23, 2019

(It’s not uncommon for people to make a joke about the pricing of our stock, it all being 99p, and it’s funny the first time. It’s also funny if they genuinely don’t realise that EVERYTHING is 99p. However, it isn’t funny when I have to answer this question between 6 and 25 times a day, depending on the length of my shift. School kids are the worst for it because they think it’s hilarious to ask, again and again. This time I’m serving a customer with quite a full basket when the kid comes up. I’ll usually answer quick questions from other customers while serving to stop the line getting too long.)
Kid: *Points at chocolate on the till* “How much is this?”
(Sometimes we keep chocolate that is on deals on the tills so I don’t get annoyed at this question)
Me: 99p.
Kid: “And this one?”
(Note: all the chocolate on the till is a well known brand only in different flavours.)
Me: “99p”
Kid: “What about this one?”
(I know he’s doing it to annoy me. I can see the other customers watching to see what I’ll do but I’m just not in the mood.)
Me: “We’re in the [Store]. EVERYTHING is 99p.”
Kid: *Thinking he’s got me with this* “Not everything. Some stuff is less.”
Me: “And that’s why we have signs on them.” *Turning to the customer I was serving* “That’s [Total].”
(When I looked over again the kid and his friends were gone. The next customer in line found my reaction hilarious and even lamented with me about kids who think it’s funny to annoy the person who can get them banned from the cheap shop in a small town.)

Unfiltered Story #167639

, , | Unfiltered | September 23, 2019

(So I was at my friends 12th Birthday (that was 8 or 9 years ago) at a Brewers Fayre which was very popular and it even had a small play area (that all ways smelled like feet and fart fumes) the place was very big and always packed with people because there was a hotel the size of the Eiffel Tower so their was a fare share of jerks!)

Worker: Hi I’m Jully, can I get you anything?

(Let me say this was my friends table so she was waiting us but…)

Middle aged woman who properly broke the scales of the amount of pizza she has consumed in the last five minutes who could also be high on lettuce: I want a mother fucking mini taco you no good fat, smelly icky bitch!

My Friend: *Eyes grow bigger than a giant squid’s*

Worker: Excuse me?

Middle aged woman who properly broke the scales of the amount of pizza she has consumed in the last five minutes who could also be high on lettuce: Yeah bitch I want ‘dat mini tacos!

Manager who was moving some seats at the time: Madam please don’t use that language in here, we have many children in here and we don’t want that foul mouth on your face in this resteraunt!

Owner who heated from out back: Madam leave now!

Middle aged woman who properly broke the scales of the amount of pizza she has consumed in the last five minutes who could also be high on lettuce and is gonna turn into a fucking John Cena clone: Who cares you mother fucking cunt, fucking fuck you fuck!

(She literly picks up the owner, throws him on the floor and taps her elbow but then the Owner moves out of the way alsmost a tick before the woman shatters her elbow on the concrete floor)

The Middle aged woman who properly broke the scales of the amount of pizza she has consumed in the last five minutes who could also be high on lettuce’s boyfriend runs up from a table on the far, far side of the room)

Middle aged… You now what fuck it In tirred of tiping on this phone I’ll just say BF: You broke my buetiful gal’s arm you cunt!

(I sillently call the police and they come in 5 minutes flat, so it turns out John Cena Woman was wanted in England, Russia and Origen and I got £200,000 by calling the police and I gave %50 to the restraint and shared the rest with friends so yeah all well ends well also they were no mink tacos at the restraunt…..)

Unfiltered Story #167607

, , | Unfiltered | September 21, 2019

(I used to work at a fish and chip shop in England. I’m originally from Wales (Part of the UK) and English is my first and only language. My accent is different from England and sometimes people find it difficult to understand if they’re not really listening. )

Customer: “Hello, I want fish and chips.”

Me: “Okay, what size fish would you like?”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Size. We do small, medium or large cod.”

Customer: “I don’t understand you.” (She’s already getting annoyed and turns to my colleague.)

Colleague: “She said what size fish do you want?”

Customer. “Oh, I want small. These foreigners should learn how to speak English.”

Me: *I just stare at her before looking at my colleague. She serves the customer before we both burst out in laughter. Our boss comes over (he’s used to our giggles at work) and we explain the situation to him. He laughs before he starts talking to the customer and then he mentions me.*

Boss. “These Welsh people are hard to understand sometimes.” *says jokingly before passing me the food to hand to the customer.*

Me: “Here you go, hope you enjoy.”

*The look on her face when she realised I understood what she had said was priceless. I hope she comes in again.*