Enclosed In A Guilt Cage

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 15, 2017

I am at a zoo with my school to learn about the animals, and one of the volunteers asks if there are any questions. I can’t remember my exact question, but I say something about “cages.”

The woman goes very stern and says, “We say, ‘enclosures!’”

Guilty, much?

Looks Like A Turd Warmed Up

, , , , , | Working | November 15, 2017

(My boyfriend is dropping something off at our mutual friend’s workplace, a cleaners. He also needs to use the restroom, way in the back of the store.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, [Friend], why is there the middle seat of a minivan back here?”

Friend: “Oh, that’s our nap couch.”

Boyfriend: “Um, okay.”

Friend: “Yeah, there’s a bunch of weird stuff in here.”

Boyfriend: “WHY IS THERE A MICROWAVE IN THE BATHROOM?”

Friend: “That would be the other weird stuff.”

That Went From Zero To Ten Super Fast

, , , , , , | Working | November 14, 2017

(I’m waiting in a line to be served. The current customer has a young daughter with her who has been playing silently with a number book. The cashier takes notice. She is an elderly lady.)

Cashier: “Oh, are you learning you count?”

Girl: “Yep!”

Cashier: “Can you count to ten yet?”

Girl: *innocently* “Sure! Can you?”

(The cashier’s face turns sour.)

Cashier: “F*** you!”

(Everyone gasps, including the girl and her mother. Before anyone can react though, the little girl slaps her.)

Girl: “Naughty!”

(Then, chaos breaks loose as the cashier tries to climb over the counter while the mother scolds her daughter. The cashier then starts shouting for a manager and they all head for the store’s exit. The remaining line moves to another checkout and is seen to. As I leave the store, I still hear the cashier shouting, with a manager shouting over her.)

Manager: “WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? PROSECUTE A TODDLER?”

(I imagine the mother probably got in trouble, but hopefully the repercussions weren’t too severe.)

Your Team Works Silently

, , , , , , | Working | November 13, 2017

(I work in the bakery section of a national grocery store chain. As we’re technically understaffed, I’m one of only two closers on the payroll and work closing five or six days a week. This means I’m alone in the bakery from about 4:00 pm until I clean up and shut things down at around 8:00 pm. This takes place while my manager is packing up to leave for the day.)

Manager: “All right, [My Name], I’m out. You’re in charge.”

Me: *looks back at the empty bakery* “You hear that, team?!”

Manager: *starts laughing*

(He told me later that he was still chuckling about it on the way home. Good to know I have good quips sometimes.)

Sick Of Not Being Sick

, , , , , , , , | Working | November 8, 2017

(I have been working at my current job for over a year and in that time have never taken a single day of sick leave and have only twice been late. I manage to overhear a couple managers talking about me:)

Manager #1: “Well, put [My Name] down for the early shift; he’s always on time.”

Manager #2: “And we know he probably won’t call in sick 15 minutes before, too. Most of the other guys here call in sick at least once a month; he’s gone a whole year and not a single sick day. For us, that must be a record.”

Manager #1: “Oh, yes. I forgot what it’s actually like to be able to trust the staff working here.”

(I figured I was just doing my job by literally turning up for it. It turns out that’s not the way anyone else does things. Now I’m much less surprised that my department has a high turnover rate for staff.)