This is a story of both a bad customer and a bad employee. It happened when I was sixteen in the mid-nineties. My parents had a deep mistrust of “the man” and spent their lives trying to avoid things like paying taxes or anything that meant their money might be taken by “the man”.

As a teenager, I just wanted to live normally, like my friends, and, at this particular time, one of my biggest bugbears was that I didn’t have a bank account. My parents did have an account for essentials and things they couldn’t get around, but most of our household money was squirreled away at home.

I had some money of my own, but relied on my parents to keep a log of this and hand me cash when I wanted. I saw friends having much more freedom and control over access to their money, and I wanted to be like them. Also, I wanted to get a part-time job and needed a bank account for that. Up to this point, I had been working ad hoc as a waitress in a family friend’s cafe and was paid cash-in-hand, with that cash going into my dad’s pillowcase, or wherever the family money was kept.

My friends also made comments about me not being as grown up as them, because I had to ask my parents for money and didn’t know how to use a bank. At age sixteen, in the nineties, not being seen as grown up was a big deal, so I begged my parents to let me open an account, and finally, my mum agreed.

We went to the High Street Bank one day around lunchtime (it must have been school holidays). The queue was enormous, and we waited at least thirty minutes before finally reaching the teller.

Mum explained that we wanted to open an account, and the teller immediately became a bit anxious, looking around us at the long line of customers, and explained that we couldn’t just walk in to do this. We should have made an appointment, and appointments for this sort of thing are not available over lunchtimes, which are the busiest times, and all staff are needed for basic transactions.

My mum suddenly exploded, which was a common personality trait. She started yelling at the teller, saying she was here to do business and was not leaving. She said it was horrible customer service, and she had waited in line for such a long time and would not now be turned away.

The teller stood her ground and said there was an appointment later that day at 3 PM, but that was all she could offer. Mum had other plans later, so she couldn’t make that time and continued to argue, her voice getting louder and louder.

I was feeling so uncomfortable in the middle of this and could tell that my mum was in the wrong. Eventually, I spoke up and said I could take the 3 PM appointment on my own and really didn’t need (or want – but I didn’t say that) my mum there.

After a bit more arguing with me, as well as the teller, Mum relented. I was given information about the types of documentation I would need to bring later in the afternoon, and, to everyone’s relief, we finally left the bank.

Going back later in the afternoon, I was quite nervous and even more so when I realised it was the same staff member who would be dealing with my account. I was a very shy teenager who hated confrontation, and the staff member was clearly offhand and abrupt with me, so I decided to mention the elephant in the room:

Me: “I just want to say, umm, before we get properly started, that I’m, umm, sorry about my mum earlier. She, umm, doesn’t really know how these things work.”

She said she accepted and appreciated my apology, but that my mum had been totally out of order. I agreed and hoped that would be the end of it, but no, throughout the entire appointment, she bad-mouthed my mother, saying some very inappropriate things, and just wouldn’t let the subject drop.

She kept saying that I seemed like such a nice girl and how could I possibly have such a terrible mother, also wagging her finger at me and telling me not to turn out like that. She even started criticising my mum’s appearance, her clothes, and her haircut.

I was sitting there thinking that yes, my mum had been in the wrong, and I felt sorry for the member of staff who had had to deal with that stress, but it also wasn’t a great look to be so openly and harshly critical of a teenager’s mother. Two wrongs definitely don’t make a right.

A woman calls in and says she had made a change to her flights because the airline had made some changes, and she was forced to pay a steep $1500 per ticket in fare difference. Understandable. She says her sister has the exact same itinerary and made the same flight change and didn’t have to pay a thing.

She claimed my colleague “pressured” her to accept the fare difference. So, she was expecting us to refund her the difference.

Caller: “It’s not fair, my sister didn’t pay a thing, and your colleague made it sound like I had to say yes.”

Me: “That’s certainly concerning. Let me look at the record and the notes.”

Caller: “And here’s my sister’s flight info. You can see it yourself that she did the exact same thing, and I shouldn’t have to pay if she didn’t.”

So initially, it looked like the colleague working on this caller’s flight change had made the mistake and failed to get a waiver to change the flights for free. However, it was discovered she rescheduled her return flight to depart three days earlier… which is not allowed per airline involuntary schedule change rules. If the airline makes a change to your schedule that doesn’t work for you, you can only rebook to another flight for free the same day, or one day before or after the original departure date. If the schedule change from the airline is significant (a change of three hours or more, depending on the airline), then they can cancel for a full refund.

So, I call the airline… and the airline advises that my colleague was correct, she would have to pay the fare difference because she changed her flight to return three days earlier.

Airline: “She is not due a refund; she would have to pay the fare difference.”

Me: “She says her sister got the exact same thing done for free. Here’s the record locator.”

The airline pulls up the record locator… and oh boy, my other colleague who helped this woman’s sister had seriously messed up. She had gone ahead and changed the flights for free with a generic waiver and had failed to reach out to the airline first to get approval before making the change, so our agency will now be required to pay the fare difference to the airline.

Me: *To the caller.* “I spoke to the airline, and they said you were correctly charged the fare difference. There was no error here.”

Caller: “But what about my sister? I told you, it was free for her! I won’t accept this!”

Me: “…So here’s the thing, the airline says your sister should have also paid the fare difference as well. I don’t know what occurred on your sister’s call to us, but we may be reaching out to her regarding her flights now.”

Caller: *Realization dawning on her that her sister may now be forking over $1500 too because of her.* “Oh my god…”

Me: “The colleague who assisted you processed the flight change correctly. I’m sorry, but that’s been confirmed by the airline directly.”

Caller: *In panic mode.* “Isn’t there anybody I could speak to who could advocate for us? Like a higher up or CEO? I’m a [Special shiny client], I’m sure you can do something for us.”

Me: “I have done all that I can. I’ve spoken to the airline and a supervisor; there was no error here…on your record.”

Caller: “…I will figure something out and call back.”

So moral of the story, the “you did it for them, why not me” argument can royally backfire. I would hate to be her sister right now.

I work front-end in a liquor store. A couple came up to my register with a massive cart of things. No problem, I start scanning and bagging everything. Then the guy says they need to get Hennessy, so I told them where it is.

Customer: “No, we already got the Hennessy.”

Me: “Are you looking to do a return?”

Customer: “No, the old lady got it for us and brought it up here.” *He points to my register.*

I look around (sometimes the managers bring us the naughty liquors that go in bottle jail – certain liquors get stolen WAY more than others or are particularly expensive, so they get locked up in cabinets) and realize he must have meant it’s up at customer service like usual.

By this point, he and his wife have both said four or so times that we’re doing this on purpose and wasting their time.

I get back from customer service; there was no Hennessy up there. I explain this, and he starts going off on me, saying:

Customer: “B****! You’re giving poor customer service!”

I grab a coworker, and we go up there to look again. My manager was there both times on the phone and didn’t respond either time I asked about a Hennessy. Of course, it’s not there this time either.

When I get back and apologize that I couldn’t find it (I had already called the managers to ask about it twice), they are both FUMING and going off on me.

Customer: “You’re wasting our time!”

Then the wife walks off while the guy keeps insulting me loudly. My manager comes over with a random bottle of some other cognac, a boxed 1738 – A Rémy Martin, not a Henessey. Then she gets angry and tells me:

Manager: “When the customer says we got a bottle for them, it’s at CUSTOMER SERVICE!”

As if I’ve not been doing that for an eternity now!

Like okay, maybe I could have brought one of them with me to point it out, but I asked what the box looked like, they wouldn’t tell me, just said I should know. I was also all the way on the last register, so I didn’t want to inconvenience them and get yelled at more.

I get it, I adore brandy and cognac, but Hennessy is a very specific cognac. Imagine getting p***ed at the cashier because you had a bottle of Jim Beam brought up there and told them you had a bottle of Fireball.

To add insult to injury, after my manager chewed me out over it, the dude held up the bottle of  Rémy Martin, almost slapping me in the face with it, and went:

Customer: “See? Hennessy!”

Like, sir, do NOT make me put the bottle back in gay baby jail because I will!

I’m assisting a customer at the checkouts at an IKEA-like store.

Customer: “Oh, darn! I forgot my wallet!”

Me: “Would you like me to keep this cart put aside for you while you go and get it?”

Customer: “That’s too much work. Can’t I just Venmo you?”

Me: “The store doesn’t have a Venmo account.”

Customer: “No, not the store, you. You can pay the store back.”

Me: “Uh, no. That’s not a service we offer.”

Customer: “This isn’t being very customer service-minded.”

Me: “I’m not comfortable giving my full name and phone number to a customer, no offence.”

Customer: “Well, now I’m very f****** offended! I want to speak to the manager!”

The manager comes over and after hearing the complaint:

Manager: “Just do it. We can take it out of your next pay check.”

Me: “Uh, no. I’m not comfortable doing that.”

Manager: “It’s not a big deal.”

Me: “Okay, well if it’s not a big deal, then you do it. Give the customer your personal Venmo details.”

Manager: “Uh…”

Me: “That’s what I thought.”

After all that the customer paid with their FRICKIN’ APPLE PAY (which they could have done all along) and still left a complaint to Corporate. I hate people.

Where I used to work, letters would often be signed with fake manager names. Each name indicated which department the letter was from. For example, a letter from ‘John Smith’ would indicate it was from the sales team, or ‘Jane Doe’ would indicate it was from the arrears team, etc (all names changed, but you get the idea). Don’t ask me why. That’s just how they decided to do things. 

If a customer asked to speak to the manager on the letter, most of the time it was something that didn’t require a manager, so we would ask them for details and deal with it. The few times it was something that required a manager, we would simply tell them that they were not available and put them through to the current manager on duty.

Most of the time, this worked.

Except the one time it didn’t.

A customer called, furious that he had been sent a payment reminder. It was a simple case that the letter had been sent the day before he had paid. He demanded to speak to ‘Jane Doe’, furious that they had sent him a letter when he had clearly paid. I explained that the letter had simply crossed in the post, but he wasn’t having it.

Customer: “Put me through to Jane Doe. I demand they answer for themselves!”

Me: “As I explained to you, the letter was sent the day before you paid. At the time the letter was sent, you had an outstanding balance. When you paid the next day, the letter was already on its way to you. At the bottom of the letter, it does say that if you have paid your balance within the last five days—”

Customer: “—No, no, no. You cannot just send a letter and not expect any consequences. That’s not how this works. I demand that Ms. Doe have the decency to speak to me and explain why she sent such a letter. If she is prepared to send it, she must be prepared to own up to her mistake and apologise personally. That’s the professional thing to do.”

I spoke to my manager, but she refused to take the call, telling me to just reiterate what I had already told the customer “with more authority.” Under no circumstances was I to tell the customer it was a made-up manager (this was company policy; stupid, I know). So, I went back to the customer.

Me: “As I have already informed you, the letter crossed in the post. Jane Doe does not take calls from customers. I am going to terminate this call as it is going nowhere.”

Customer: “Oh, you can disconnect if you like. I’ll keep calling back. I’ve got all day.”

And true to his word, he did.

He kept calling back all day, non-stop, demanding to speak to Jane Doe. Our manager kept refusing to take the call, which was not surprising. Getting her to take calls, even for genuine complaints she SHOULD take was like pulling teeth. Every time, she would try to find some way to push back and have us deal with it.

Dealing with him all day was exhausting, and we could only disconnect the call.

The next day, the customer turned up at our office building. He screamed at, threatened, and generally harassed employees as they tried to get into the building. Police had to be involved.

Based on the address we had on file for him, it would have taken him AT LEAST five hours to drive to our office. All over a letter which had clearly crossed in the post, which also said in big bold font to ignore this letter if he had paid within five days of the date on the letter.

Though it was an unpleasant experience, there were a few positive outcomes. 

First, my manager got thoroughly chewed out by her boss for not taking the call and letting it escalate to such a level. She tried to blame us (of course she did), but she was reminded that taking calls like this was part of her job.

Second, the customer had caused enough trouble that management decided it would be best if he went through the legal team from now on. He was given strict instructions to call them if he had any issues, whether that was giving a meter reading, paying a bill, or even just updating his details. The legal team would then act as a mediary between the customer and whatever department he needed. Under no circumstances was anyone else allowed to talk to him directly, which meant that we never had to deal with him again.