Reaching New Heights Of Friendship

, , , , | | Friendly | July 13, 2019

(My freshman year of college, my roommate is an aviation major. During the fall semester, when she’s not allowed to fly, I’m helping her memorize all the checklists. She finds out that I’ve never flown in an airplane before and vows to fix that. Sure enough, in the spring semester, she starts flying and will not relent in her quest to get me to go with her. I eventually agree to go with her to get her to stop begging me. One Saturday morning, we get up early and get ready. She tells me that it’s a very good day to fly because there’s not a lot of wind. We catch the bus to the airport, and she’s excited that I’m going to get to see her in action. At the airport, I meet her flight instructor, I sign the paperwork, and we go out to the tarmac. I’m extremely nervous the whole time. Eventually, we’re all buckled in and take off. It should be noted that I have a fear of heights. Every single time she makes a turn, I feel the g-force on my body and I whimper. I am not enjoying myself at all. Then this happens.)

Instructor: “Okay, [Roommate], pick a crash field.”

Roommate: “Okay… I got one.”

Instructor: “All right, now stall the engine.”

Me: “Huh?”

Roommate: “You got it.”

(She then proceeds to point the nose of the plane up until the engine stalls out and goes silent. The aircraft starts to fall. A few seconds later, when it’s level again, the engine starts back up and we are bounced around for a little bit.)

Instructor: “Not bad. What did you think, [My Name]?”

(I have flung my arms and legs out to try and grab anything to hold onto. It takes me a moment to realize it’s safe to move. I slowly curl up into a ball.)

Me: “I… Don’t…”

Instructor: “I don’t think we should do any more stalls today.”

Roommate: *disappointed* “Oh, fine.”

(I am too freaked out still to talk. I end up looking at the bar that’s attached to the wheel the rest of the trip, not saying a word, and still whimpering at the slightest movement. Until I’m back on the ground, I pray to God to let us safely land very soon. Eventually, we do land, and I bolt out of the thing. I wait for my roommate and her instructor to finish up their post-flight checklists. When they do, my roommate comes over to me.)

Roommate: “So, my lesson isn’t over yet. We’re about to go up again. Want to go again? We aren’t going to stall the engine again. It’s probably just going to be taking off and landing over and over again.”

Me: “No!”

Roommate: “But–”

Me: “No! No, no, no! I’m never getting in that thing again!”

Roommate: *slightly hurt that I don’t love flying* “Okay, I guess. You’ll have to wait in the lounge, then. There’s no one here now since it’s Saturday. You’ll be all alone. And we’ll be at least an hour.”

Me: “Is there Wi-Fi?”

Roommate: “Yes?”

Me: “I’ll be fine.”

(I had my laptop with me since I was going to meet up with some friends to study for a test right after. I sat in the lounge and studied while also messaging my mom and telling her how my roommate tried to kill me.)

Providing Blank Delivery

, , , , | | Right | July 9, 2019

(I get in the very long line at the post office and notice a woman ahead of me who has two very large cardboard boxes, still folded flat, and an enormous bag filled with sports equipment such as helmets and lacrosse sticks. Eventually, it’s her turn and she dumps everything onto the small counter.)

Woman: “I need to mail these. I have the addresses here.” *holds up two pieces of computer paper*

Worker: “Ma’am, we cannot package your items for you. You need to step aside and prepare the boxes for shipment.”

(The woman moves only about six inches over and starts wrestling with the boxes. The next customer squeezes past her. A few minutes later, the woman puts both boxes back on the counter on their sides, with the tops and bottoms still open.)

Woman: *interrupting current customer* “I’m done. How much is it to ship them?”

Worker: *in the same monotone voice as before* “Ma’am, I need you to close and secure those boxes. We cannot ship them like that.”

Woman: “Close them how?”

Worker: “Tape.”

Woman: “I don’t have any. Give me your tape.”

(The worker wordlessly hands over a roll of packaging tape. The woman tries to roll it over the boxes without peeling back the tape and ends up asking for help. Eventually, using the entire roll of tape, she gets the boxes closed. Two more customers have been served.)

Woman: “Done!”

Worker: *without looking up* “You need to address those boxes.”

Woman: “I have the addresses.” *holds up papers again*

Worker: “They need to be on the boxes.”

(The woman places the papers on the top of each box and pushes them closer to the worker. Someone behind me snorts back a laugh.)

Worker: *still totally unfazed* “We cannot mail them like that. If you want to use those papers, they must be connected to the box. Please step aside until you are ready.”

(Not being able to take it anymore and seeing the woman’s blank face and empty tape roll, I step out of line to help.)

Me: “Ma’am, would you like to use my tape?”

Woman: “Oh, thank you so much!”

Me: “You’re very welcome. What they need you to do is make sure the address won’t fall off, or else they won’t know where to send your packages. You should go ahead and cover all the edges of the paper. Or I have a marker if you’d rather write it out…”

(The woman happily hands me back my tape as I’m still speaking, with one tiny, solitary square attaching each sheet of paper to the side of its box.)

Me: “Um, are you sure you don’t want a bit more? You can use as much as you like. You really need to secure those.”

Woman: “No, that’s all right! But thank you.” *turns back to the worker and proudly puts boxes back on the counter* “I’m ready now! My sons need these.”

Worker: *slowly looking at each box and then up and down the woman with no other change of expression* “Based on their weight, your total is [total].”

(The woman pays and leaves.)

Worker: *still monotone, still expressionless* “Lord Jesus, some f****** people. Next in line, please.”

Unfiltered Story #156865

, , | | Unfiltered | July 6, 2019

Me- Hello

Customer- What’s happening, let me get a
peanut butter smoothie

Me- Ok

Customer- No! (Begins heading towards door) This is bad service! Y’all are doing bad service! You’re lucky I don’t smack you right now!

-Customer leaves-

Me – Gee so I offended him because I said ok?

(Still a win in my book since it wasn’t busy and that guy didn’t get a smoothie or his whey for the day ;)) (He’s also a regular lol)

Will Come Money-Back To Haunt You

, , , , | | Right | July 4, 2019

(I work in a pet store where we carry dental dog biscuits. Many of these say, “guaranteed to reduce tartar or your money back.”)

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to return this bag of biscuits.”

(The customer places a completely empty bag on the counter.)

Me: “Did they not help your dog’s teeth?”

Customer: “Oh, no, they did, but the bag says I can get my money back anyway.”

Why Don’t You (Law &) Order The New CSI-NCIS-H50 Computer?!

, , , , , | | Right | July 3, 2019

Customer: “Do you have any of the computers that they use on NCIS?”

(I don’t watch “NCIS.”)

Me: “What brand do they use?”

Customer: “Dunno. They’re the kind you can throw images from a table to a wall and hack stuff with, though.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m pretty sure those are fake.”

Customer: “No, I’ve seen them on other shows, like CSI and NCIS: LA!

Page 1/5812345...Last