Not Much Meat Between His Ears

, , , , | Right | March 31, 2020

(The entrance to our backroom is next to the wall of pre-packaged meats. Immediately next to the wall on the other side is the meat and seafood counter. During the afternoons and evenings, once everyone has clocked in for the day, one of the butchers will often come out to restock the wall and assist customers there while the other butchers assist customers at the counter. During the mornings, however, they mostly prepare the displays at the counter and get things ready for the day. It’s mid-morning and I just clocked in.

I come out of the backroom and see a customer staring at the wall. As I pass him, I greet him, like I’m trained to do.)

Customer: “You. I’ve been waiting for ten minutes for someone to come out and help me! Where are the meat guys?”

(I take three steps to the left and am now in front of the counter. Two of the butchers are back there working. They see me and wave.)

Me: “A customer out here has a question.”

(One of the butchers dropped what he was doing and came out to help. But the guy could clearly see the counter from where he was standing, so why he didn’t take a few steps over to see if anyone was back there is a mystery to me.)

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Seriously Stupid Administration

, , , , , , | Working | March 30, 2020

I was 21 when my Grandma died. I’d watched her slowly decline over the preceding two years, so I was not “grieving” publicly, which allowed me to keep my head.

My grandma, being the stubborn woman she was, had to die at 11:00 pm on a Friday. She wanted to be cremated, and this was about four or five days from the end of the month. By the time the cremation was done and we finally had the death certificate, her last Social Security payment had gone through.

Before her mind had gone too much, I’d had her put me on her bank account, as she lived with me and my dad and uncle, her two oldest sons. This made it easier if we needed something from the store with her card. On the first available day after we got the death certificate, I went to close out her account.

I was told that they were waiting for the SSA to pull the money, and I had to take them the death certificate, as it wasn’t our money.

I spent three months driving between my house, her bank, and the SSA across town before they pulled the money and I could get the last five dollars out of her account to close it.

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Ordering To Go, Just Not Going Right Now

, , , | Right | March 30, 2020

(I work in a small café that offers a food selection of mostly baked goods and a few hot items. The customer has ordered several hot items, and the transaction has proceeded normally until after she has paid and I have handed over the receipt.)

Customer: “Now, don’t start my food yet. I’m going to come back later, and show you my receipt, and you can make it then.”

(My store has never offered a service like that; we don’t have the fridge space to keep food for a later order aside, and we wouldn’t want to run out of an item that a customer had “reserved,” so we don’t allow orders like this.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that for you. I can wrap the food up for you to-go—”

Customer: “No, I don’t want it to-go; it won’t be hot then. I just want to come back and get it later.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t take an order now that’s not supposed to be made until later. If you’re worried about a line, we have online ordering which you can do on your phone, so you can just pick it up when you’re ready.”

(The online ordering also doesn’t allow for customers to set a time to pick up; as soon as an online order comes in, it goes straight into our queue.)

Customer: “No, I paid for the food, so I should get it when I want it.”

Me: “Ma’am, you paid for the food right now. Our service provides the food when it’s ordered; we can’t keep food on reserve for you.”

Customer: “But I have my receipt.”

Me: “That doesn’t matter.”

Customer: “I wouldn’t cut line or anything, I’d just wait and then show you my receipt.”

(Internally, I wonder why she wouldn’t just wait through the line and reorder later, but I just stick with what I’ve been saying.)

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t do that. Our system isn’t set up for orders like that. I can give you your food now, or I can refund you, but that’s all.”

Customer: “Fine. Refund me.”

(Later that afternoon, when I was clearing tables, I saw her still sitting in the café, but she never came up to reorder her food. I’m not sure if she was running some type of scam, or if she really just didn’t understand that “I can’t do that” means that I can’t do that.)

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Unfiltered Story #190987

, , | Unfiltered | March 30, 2020

(Customer walks in talking on phone and just places her credit card on the counter.)

Me: “Excuse me.”

(Customer continues talking on the phone, reaches beneath the counter, and puts some gum on the counter.)

Me: “I’m sorry, there’s a line just over there.”

Customer: “Hold on…” (Customer puts away phone, turns back to look at the line and gives an exasperated sigh.) “Can’t you just help me? I’m in a rush and need my gum.”

Everybody’s Confused About Raymon… D?

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 29, 2020

(My husband and I are visiting our very good friends and messing with each other. My friend has been complaining that her husband has been annoying her all day. I am sitting near her husband with their baby in between us. My friend is speaking about a familial situation and mentions a name.)

Friend: “Ray-mon.”

Me: “Raymon?”

Friend: “Raymon.”

Me: *so confused* “Raymond or Raymon?

Friend: “Yes.”

Me: “…” *looks at her husband*

Friend’s Husband: *spells it* “R-A-Y-M-O-N-D.”

Me: “Oh, Raymond! You keep saying Raymon!”

Friend: “Yeah, Raymon!”

(I just stare at her at his point, confused beyond belief, and she and her husband begin to bicker about it.)

Me: “Look, you keep saying Raymon, not Raymond! You are leaving off the D!”

Friend’s Husband: “Yeah, she’s saving it for later!”

(Everything dissolved. I took the baby out of the way as my friend screeched at me to flee and proceeded to launch herself at her husband while he and I hysterically laughed.)

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