Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 6

, , , , | Right | May 3, 2021

I fill online grocery orders. We have this one customer who is a massive pain to shop for. She is super, super picky. We can have three different managers look over her order and verify that everything is correct and looks good, and she will still call and complain.

This lady has been banned from every other store in our district. Unfortunately for us, right before she started shopping at our store, we got a new district manager who won’t let us ban her because she’s a paying customer, so we’re forced to put up with her. She will threaten to call corporate if we dare to contradict her on anything, which just adds to the tension.

I shop her order today, and I am extra careful when picking items, especially in produce. The last time she had an order, she managed to get a $50 credit from one of the managers, so I know I cannot mess up this order in any way, shape, or form.

When I’m done, I get a different manager to look over her order, and then he has to watch me call her. She once gave us a bad phone number, refused to admit it, and then kept complaining that we never called her, so now a manager has to verify that yes, we did actually call her. I call her and go over her out-of-stocks and verify the substitutions I was able to make, and she drops this:

Customer: “Can you go over my entire order?”

This lady has nine children, so her orders are always freaking huge. The order is mostly cereal, bread, milk, and produce, so I’m hoping it won’t take very long.

Me: “Sure, just give me a moment to pull up your original order.”

A coworker is on the computer. This coworker has a bit of an abrasive personality, but she’s a good worker.

Me: “Could you pull up [Customer]’s order, please?”

Coworker: “Okay.”

It’s taking a little while for the computer to respond.

Me: *To the customer* “Sorry, our computer is being a little slow right now.”

Coworker: “What does she want?”

Me: “She wants me to go over her whole order with her.”

Coworker: “What? She’s crazy! Tell her no! We don’t have time for that!”

Manager: “Yeah, you really don’t have time.”

Customer: “Cancel my order.”

Me: “Cancel it?”

Customer: “Yeah. I didn’t like the way she sounded.” *Click*

I put the phone down in disbelief. I spent almost an hour and a half shopping this order, scrutinizing over every little thing that she could possibly complain about.

Manager: “Why does she want to cancel it?”

Me: “She didn’t like the way [Coworker] sounded in the background.”

Coworker: “Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?”

Manager: “What’s her phone number?”

I gave him the number, and he went into his office to call her back. He told her that if she canceled the order, then she’d need to start shopping somewhere else. So far, she hasn’t placed another order with us, so hopefully, we’ll never see her again. And that’s how we accidentally got rid of a problem customer!

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 5
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 4
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 3
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 2
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn

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This Customer Is Just The Cherry On Top

, , , | Right | April 29, 2021

I don’t work in the produce department, but I help customers when passing through.

Customer: “I picked out all of these cherries because they’re rotten. You need to do something with them.”

There is a large pile of cherries laying on the shelf. She has taken two bags of cherries and picked through all of them to make one “good” bag.

There are twenty fresh bags of cherries that just came off the truck yesterday, so my guess is she grabbed the last two bags from the previous truck. I grab one of the half-empty bags and start dumping the rotten cherries in it.

Customer: “What are you doing? Just throw them away.”

Me: “I can’t do that. They have to scan the bags out. You could’ve left the cherries in the bags and just told me they were bad, and I would’ve taken care of it.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not my job. You should know better than to have rotten stuff out for the customers!”

I sigh and head to the prep area. Luckily for me, a produce worker is there. I’m trying to tell him about the customer when the customer snaps at me.

Customer: “What does this sign say? I can’t pronounce the words! The spot is empty. Do you have any more? Get back over here!”

Me: *To the produce worker* “A customer requires your assistance.”

I hightailed it to the front so I could get back to my actual job!

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“Help” Them Understand Their Entitlement

, , , , , | Right | April 25, 2021

I work in a store in a wealthy neighborhood. Three or four women come into the kids’ department with several children, all quite young. The women sit themselves down in the storytime area to chat and sip coffee. The children are running all around, completely ignored by the adults, and I am doing my best to straighten in their wake. One little girl who can’t be more than three has discovered the “Dora the Explorer” display.

Girl: “Dora!”

Me: “Yes, that’s Dora.”

Girl: *Grabs another toy* “Um…”

Me: “That’s Swiper.”

Girl: *Suddenly terrified and starting to sniffle* “SWIPER, NO SWIPING! SWIPER, NO SWIPING!”

Me: “Oh, honey, it’s okay. Swiper won’t swipe anything while I’m here.”

Woman: “Why are you talking to my daughter?”

Me: “She seemed upset, ma’am, so I was—”

Woman: “You don’t need to talk to my daughter. You’re the help.”

Me: “…”

Woman: “Just do your job and don’t bother us.”

So, I do. I go and begin shelving books, ignoring the children. In less than ten minutes, the noise is such that the adults can’t hear themselves think.

Woman: “You need to manage these children better.”

Me: “Ma’am, you’ve already directed me to ‘just do my job,’ and looking after the children is not it.”

Woman: “I spend a lot of money in this store!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The Dora doll your daughter is chewing on is $5, and the book she tore the cover off of is also $5. What else will you be purchasing today?”

The women gathered up their kids and left. I learned later that the woman complained about me to a manager, but the manager made it clear that my job was not to babysit. She was also apparently forced to buy the toy and book her daughter damaged.

This story is part of our Best Of April 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of April 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of April 2021 roundup!

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Sub-Standard Behavior, Part 3

, , , , | Right | April 22, 2021

We are short-staffed due to a coworker choosing not to show up at all for the past several days, so my coworker and I are considerably backed up. We are informing all walk-in customers of an up-to-thirty-minute wait time.

A woman walks in while we are in the midst of this. We inform her of the wait time, and she agrees and places her order. As soon as it’s paid for, she walks to the counter where food is to be assembled and picked up and immediately sprawls all the way across it. When I try to get her to move, she just moves a few inches aside, ignoring the fact that another customer literally has to reach around her and get his food.

One of our other waiting customers, an older woman, likely already irritated by the long wait, speaks up.

Older Woman Customer: “Miss, could you back away from the counter? We’re all supposed to be staying six feet apart and you’re getting too close to everyone picking up.”

Without even looking up from her phone, the first customer answers:

Customer: “No, I think I’m fine right here.”

Seeing as she’s STILL taking up the entire counter and isn’t even wearing a mask — meaning she’s pretty much breathing all over everyone else’s food — I speak up, as well.

Me: “Actually, no, ma’am, you’re not fine right there. I need you to back up furth—”

Customer: “I said I’m fine right here. I’m not breathing on nothing; this b**** needs to mind her business.”

The woman who chimed in starts arguing with her, insisting that Miss Sprawl-Across-the-Counter back up and that she doesn’t want anyone that close to her or anyone else’s food, while the younger woman continues to just stay put and complains that she shouldn’t have to. Other customers are beginning to come to the older lady’s defence. In an effort to diffuse the situation, I finally tell the older lady:

Me: “I’ll just put y’all’s food over here, then.”

I indicate the rack several feet over meant for web orders.

As soon as I say that, the woman decides she wants her money back because she feels insulted.

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to move for this b****!”

I don’t think I’ve ever been so quick to refund someone. Once I hand her the money back, she hangs for just a moment longer before quipping:

Customer: “Uh. You didn’t say, ‘Thank you.'”

Me: “No, ma’am, I didn’t.”

I went back to serving our thoroughly-entertained remaining customers, ignoring Miss Sprawl-Across-the-Counter as she stormed out.

Sub-Standard Behavior, Part 2
Sub-Standard Behavior

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Too Much Coffee This Morning Or Not Enough?

, , , , | Working | April 15, 2021

I’m taking classes at the local university and I go to get my parking sticker. An employee who looks to be the age of a student is running the counter. She asks for my driver’s license, takes it, takes payment, scans the license, and walks to the back room while the sticker is printing out. After a few minutes, she comes back out and sees me.

Employee: “You can leave now.”

She returns to the back room before I can ask for my driver’s license or parking sticker. I wait until she comes back out. I quickly open my mouth but I’m not quick enough.

Employee: *Scowling* “You can leave now.”

She instantly returns to the back room, and I’m left with my mouth still open. I wait, she comes back out, and I wave to let her know I need to speak to her and open my mouth. She looks mad as h***.

Employee: “YOU CAN LEAVE NOW!”

She returns to the back room.


She comes back out looking ready to kill. She finds the sticker and my driver’s license, returns to the counter, and slaps those down in front of me

Employee: “HERE!”

I finally left.

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