Out To Extinguish A Dog’s Fun

, , , , | Working | November 23, 2017

(I am checking out with just three items: a dog toy, a fire extinguisher, and a compost aerator. It is Halloween.)

Cashier: “Looks like you’re making a really interesting costume!”

Me: “Yeah, it’s actually my dog’s birthday, so I had to get her a toy to rip apart.”

Cashier: “Ah, and for when things get out of hand…” *gestures toward fire extinguisher*

Unfiltered Story #100570

, , | Unfiltered | November 20, 2017

(I work at the customer service desk of a home improvement store. A customer has come up with her receipt, saying that she left a bag with seed packets at a register. I remember this customer calling earlier and speaking with a coworker, so I decide to help her out. I walk with the customer to the register she was at and we find the bag. After that, she stays to buy something else, and I return to the desk.)

Me: *to other coworker* “I’m back, and I took care of my customer.”

Coworker: “That’s good!”

Me: “And since she didn’t come back with me, I really “took care of her.””

(My coworker and the customer she was working with get wide-eyed and laugh.)

Just Another Closet Case

, , , , , | Right | November 16, 2017

(As I am walking back to my department, a young couple approaches me with a pre-made shelf.)

Wife: “Excuse me, will this shelf fit everything in our closet?”

Me: “I don’t know; I’ve never been to your house.”

Wife: “Yes, but will it fit everything in our closet?”

Me: “I don’t know; I’ve never been to your house. How much stuff do you have in the closet?”

Husband: “Oh, the usual amount of stuff. Do you think it will fit on the shelf?”

(I give up.)

Me: “Yes.”

“Hold” On For The Prank

, , , , , | Right | November 15, 2017

(I work at a home decoration store. We have a particular brand that is unreasonably popular and people line up at the front door for it. It’s popular because people get it with us cheap and resell it online. We’re not allowed to put it on hold for ANYONE, not even staff; if we do, it could result in termination. A customer is making constant comments about having some of this brand on hold. Fed up, my coworkers decide to prank her back because she always asks everyone and gets the newer kids who aren’t familiar with the rule to just bring her out new stuff. I’m not new, but she hasn’t asked or seen me yet, so she thinks I’m new.)

Me: *stacking shelves*

Customer & Friend: “Oh, my God, miss! Miss! We, um, we have some more [Brand] on hold for us in the back; could you go get it?”

Me: *pretending to look concerned* “Ma’am, we aren’t allowed to put that on hold for anyone anymore.”

Customer: “I want it. Could you maybe go get it for me?”

(My manager walks by at the right time.)

Manager: “Oh, wait, [Brand]?” *turning towards me* “So, you’re the one that’s been going in the backroom and giving it to her! That’s it; you’re fired. Get out!”

(I ran to the break room and looked back only once. I saw the woman frantically trying to explain, but to no avail. Needless to say, no matter how badly she wanted the stuff, she never asked anyone to get her her things “on hold in the back” again.)

Made A Fauce(t) Start

, , , , | Right | November 10, 2017

(I work in a bathroom showroom. A customer comes in looking for a faucet he claims to have ordered.)

Customer: “I ordered a faucet three months ago and I never heard back from any of you!”

Me: “Hello, sir. I think I was the one who helped you before. I don’t recall you placing an order, however. Can I have your name so I can look in our system?”

(He gives me his name and I look on the computer. There is nothing matching his name.)

Me: “Sir, there are no orders here under that name. Are you sure you placed the order here and not at another showroom?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m sure! I can’t believe this level of incompetence!”

Me: “Do you remember which faucet you were looking at? I can search by that.”

(He wanders through the showroom for a while, finally pointing to one. I once again search the system.)

Me: “Sir, all orders for that faucet have already been closed out and none of them match your name. We can order that for you now, if you would like?”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! I have to order twice just to get a faucet?! I’m going to tell everyone I know not to shop here, and I know contractors!”

Me: “Did you come sit at my desk and order with me, give me your information, give me the required 50% deposit, sign for the deposit, and receive a receipt?

Customer: “No. But I directly told you I liked that faucet!”

Me: “Sir, if all you did was tell me you liked the faucet, how am I supposed to know to order it? Without a deposit or contact information?”

Customer: “That’s your problem!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t order a faucet just because someone expressed a little interest in it.”

Customer: “This level of customer service is horrible! I’m never buying from here again! I’m going to give my money to [Competitor].”

Me: “In fairness, sir, you have never bought anything here.”

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