Will Be Cashing Yourself Out

, , , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(I am having trouble finding an item in the hardware store. I don’t see an employee around, so I go up front to ask the cashiers of they can help me find one of their coworkers. Both cashiers are female.)

Me: *what I’m thinking* “I know that cashiers aren’t usually allowed to leave the front, but can you find someone to help me in hardware?”

Me: *what I actually say* “I know you’re just cashiers, but can you find someone to help me in hardware?”

(I am so sorry! I’m sure that you are very capable! Thank you for helping me anyway!)

The Bulb Isn’t The Only Dull Thing Around Here

, , , , , | Working | October 12, 2017

(I’m at a home improvement store looking for a replacement light bulb. I’ve checked online, where it lists the area the item will be in, but it lists it as an aisle higher than the highest aisle number that actually exists in the store. I’ve just managed to find an employee in the department to help me.)

Me: “Hi, I have this fluorescent bulb that I’m looking for a replacement for, but in a different color temperature. I can’t seem to find—”

([Worker #1] holds his hand out to stop me from talking, signing that he is deaf. I nod and bring out the previous bulb, which I’ve brought with me to recycle, and show it to him. The worker nods back at me, and begins to show me the way.)

Worker #2: *suddenly popping out of nowhere* “Oh, let me help you!”

Me: “But—” *being physically blocked by her while [Worker#1] rounds the corner*

Worker #2: “You need to write things down and show them to him, he’s deaf.”

Me: “Yes, I know, but he already knew what I needed.”

Worker #2: “Yes, but he’s deaf.”

Me: “I know…” *sighing* “Look, do you know where these fluorescent bulbs are?”

(I show her the bulb. She begins to take me to an area where I have already been searching for about 15 minutes.)

Me: “I’ve already been here, and to the next three aisles. It wasn’t here.”

Worker#2: *awkwardly* “This actually isn’t my department. It was his.”

([Worker#1], who had clearly been searching for me, spotted me and motioned for me to follow him again. I found the bulb in less than a minute, and in the new color temperature I wanted. I’m not sure why [Worker #2] intervened in the first place. This store doesn’t work on commission, and it was [Worker #1]’s department, and we didn’t have any apparent communication issues, even though he was deaf!)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 29

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2017

(I’m picking up some wall paper samples. I’m in my own little world so don’t notice another customer stride up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Excuse me!

Me: “Oh, right. Sorry.”

(I move close to the shelves to let her pass.)

Customer: *sighs heavily* “Where are the paper glues?”

Me: “The what?”

Customer: “The paper glues, for putting up wallpaper!”

Me: “Oh, the wallpaper paste. I think I saw them on the end of the aisle.”

Customer: *sarcastically* “Thank you!”

(I shake it off, collect all the samples I want, and prepare to leave. I reach the end of the aisle and see the customer again.)

Customer: *to me* “I can’t see them; where are they?”

Me: “There: the little bags. The ones that say ‘wallpaper paste.’”

Customer:I know that. Which one do I want?”

(I have had about enough; she has been nothing but rude and I have been nothing but patient so far.)

Me: “Look, lady: what does it say on my shirt?”

Customer: “Don’t you speak to me th—”

Me: “What… does… it.. say… on.. my… shirt?”

Customer: “Well, I… it says [Large Engineering Company].”

Me: “So, not [Store]?!”

Customer: *looks at me blankly*

Me: “You are one of the rudest people I have ever met. Why don’t you learn some manners, or better yet, f*** off?!”

Customer: *the colour drains from her face* “That’s it. I’m getting a manager and getting you fired!”

(She storms off, and I stick around to see what happens. A few minutes later she returns with a manager and a smug look on her face.)

Manager: “Er, I’ve had a complaint about one of my workers?”

Me: “Yeah, that would be me, apparently. I told her that I worked for [Engineering Company], but the old battle-axe wouldn’t listen. She has been incredibly rude and condescending this whole time. Frankly, if this is the treatment your staff get, I would give them a raise.”

Customer: *fuming* “Are you going to let him speak to me that way? This little s*** wouldn’t help me at all, and the other guy, the [racial slur], wouldn’t even listen to me.”

Manager: *to her* “I’m too busy to deal with your petty nonsense. If I hear you harassing any of my other customers, I will personally ban you from this store.”

Customer: “But, but… I need my paper-glue!”

Reward Points Are Their Own Reward

, , , , , | Right | October 5, 2017

(I am the only employee cashiering in my section.)

Me: “Are you a member of our rewards program?”

Customer #1: “NO! And I don’t want to be! Your rewards are s***!”

Me: “Okay, then.”

(I continue ringing her up. As I hit “total,” the register tells me that one of her items is on member special. I am required to tell her this.)

Me: “Ma’am, just so you know, if you sign up for our free rewards program, you can save [percentage] on this item.”

Customer #1: “I told you I didn’t want it!” *under her breath* “Stupid b****.”

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount]. Have a good day.”

(The next customer hands me her rewards card. The previous customer is apparently waiting for someone and is still in the shop.)

Me: *to [Customer #2]* “And because you’re a rewards member, you did get the member special, and you’ll get a coupon for gas savings. Your total is [amount].”

Customer #2: “Oh, go ahead and use my points.”

Me: “Sure.”

(The customer has over a hundred dollars in points, so this takes care of her whole purchase.)

Me: “And that paid for your purchase! Have a good one!”

Customer #1: “HEY! How come hers is free?! That’s discrimination! I want mine free! Get me your manager, you b****!”

Customer #2: “If you hadn’t been screaming at her and being rude, you would have heard her say that signing up for the membership would save you money! And they always tell you that the points are money! Why don’t you get the f*** out and leave that poor girl alone? She works hard enough without some moron like you ruining her day!”

(The first customer mumbled something under her breath and left. The second customer just smiled as she left. Wherever you are, ma’am, thank you!)

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How To Order A Sinking Feeling

, , , , , | Right | October 4, 2017

(I work in a home improvement store. A customer is looking at a specially-made sink.)

Customer: “I want two of these!”

Me: “Okay, I can order those for you! It should take about two weeks for them to come in, but we offer free delivery.”

Customer: “No, I want them now.”

Me: “Well, these ones are specially made and hand painted at the time of order. We do not carry them in stock.”

Customer: “But I want them.”

Me: “I can get them to you in two weeks. We offer free delivery and no freight charges on the order itself.”

Customer: “No, I want them now. Give me this one.”

Me: “Ma’am, that is a display model. It belongs to the store.”

Customer: “Well, I want to buy it.”

Me: “I cannot sell you a display model. I can order the sinks for you and request a rush, but since they are handmade, it probably won’t change the time much more than two or three days.”

Customer: “This is utter B.S. I came in here to give you my money for these sinks, so give me the sinks.”

Me: “They have to be ordered. Made at the time of order. We don’t carry them in stock.”

Customer: “So, I can leave with them, right?”

Me: “In two weeks, yes.”

Customer: “So, if I come back in two weeks, you will have these?”

Me: “Does that mean you would like to order them?”

Customer: “Why do I have to order them?”

Me: “…”

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