To Protect The Customers From Themselves

, , , | Right | July 23, 2021

A staff member phones to say a customer is very unhappy they have received the wrong kitchen.

Me: “Hello, sir. I believe you are unhappy with your kitchen delivery?”

The customer immediately starts shouting, ranting and raving, and complaining that he’s not got the kitchen he ordered, he has waited many weeks for, this is shocking service, etc. This goes on for five minutes without me getting a word in.

Eventually, I manage to interrupt and ask the following questions.

Me: “Can you advise which kitchen you ordered, please?”

Customer: “White gloss.”

Me: “And what kitchen do you have, sir?”

Customer: “I don’t know; it’s blue.”

Me: “We don’t sell a blue kitchen, sir. Is it the protective film on the doors you are seeing?”

The customer goes quiet and then hangs up the phone.

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Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 9

, , , | Right | July 21, 2021

I’ve come into a large DIY store, looking for one particular item I know where it is and what I need; I just need to grab it and go.

I get to the aisle, and a reasonably smartly dressed, middle-aged woman is stood right in the way of what I need. She is holding a boxed toothbrush beaker in her hands; on the shelf is the same beaker but unwrapped and put on display.

She is very carefully looking at this box, turning it around and around. She pauses and then looks at the display item, then back at the box, then back at the display, and then back at the box again.

I am transfixed slightly by how much thought process there is in choosing a £2 beaker. Either way, I stay two meters away and wait patiently. A few more minutes pass, then a few more, and I realise this might take a long time.

Me: “Sorry, can I just grab that there?”

I point to a box on the shelf.

Woman: *Giving me a long stare* “No, you wait!”

Me: “Fine, fine.”

She is still looking at the same item and then looking back at the display. She opens the box, takes the item out, compares it to the display, and then puts it back in the box. She’s completely ignoring the store’s requests to only touch things you intend to purchase.

She picks up the next one and does the same, and again to the next one.

I’m waiting silently, keeping my distance, but growing frustrated. This must be obvious.

Woman: “You! Go away!”

Me: “I really can’t. I need that box there.”

Woman: “Well, I’m not moving!”

She stands with her hand on her hips for a while, then, realising she isn’t going to get a reaction, she goes back to opening the next box.

Me: “This is ridiculous.”

I turn to leave.

Woman: “That’s it. You go. Leave me be.”

I exit the aisle empty-handed, spotting an employee as I go.

Me: “Hey, you might want to keep an eye on her; she is opening all of the merchandise.”

Employee: “What?! Not again! We’ve told her to stop once already.”

The employee approaches the woman.

Employee: “Miss, you need to stop. My colleague has asked you not to do that already.”

Woman: “No, she didn’t. You leave me alone.”

I turned to see her throw the beaker; it was so lightweight that it fell to the ground far from the employee. She turned and scuttled away. The employee said something on the radio and walked after her.

In the commotion, I forgot to go back and pick up what I needed. I returned a week later, this time on the lookout for beaker lady; thankfully, she was nowhere in sight.

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 8
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 7
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 6
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 5
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 4

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Gauging The Temperature Of This Return

, , , , | Right | July 16, 2021

I got automatically entered into a contest at work and ended up winning a fancy programmable thermostat that wouldn’t interface with my house’s older heating system, so I had no use for it. I tried asking around at work, but nobody wanted it.

I knew that the local home improvement store sold these exact systems, and the one I’d been given was still shrink-wrapped, exactly like they came on the shelves, so I decided to take a chance. I went into the store and told the employee at the customer service desk that I had received this as a gift with no receipt and I wasn’t sure where it had been purchased. I knew it was a long shot but was there anything they could do for me?

The employee checked a few things on her computer, consulted with her manager, and a few minutes later, I handed over the thermostat in exchange for a gift card loaded with its full retail price in store credit. 

Not sure if any policies were broken or bent, but apparently, being polite really will get you everywhere sometimes!

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In Line And Out Of Line, Part 20

, , , , , | Right | July 14, 2021

I’m queuing in a small store, ready to pay. In the store, there are plenty of tills and luckily not a long line, so there really is no reason for the guy behind me to start trying to push past me.

Me: “Do you want to wait your turn?”

Old Guy: “I want to pay at the till.”

Me: “Yeah, so do all of us; wait your turn.”

Old Guy: “You can pay at the self-checkouts.”

Me: “They are clearly full; if a till opens, I’m using it.”

A till opens and he tries to push me out of the way; however, I am a lot stronger than I look, so he goes nowhere.

Old Guy: “Move, you c***!”

I turn to face him. His face shows that he knows he screwed up. I look him up and down, grab sweets from his basket, and lob them over the divider.

Me: “No, you move.”

He stood there, not knowing what to do. I paid for my items. The cashier and I shared a smile and she quietly told me that he’s always here causing issues.

In Line And Out Of Line, Part 19
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 18
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 17
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 16
In Line And Out Of Line, Part 15

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Changing His Military Strategy

, , , , | Right | June 28, 2021

I have just taken over a register for my coworker and checked out a few customers in line. Everyone who shops here knows they can use their tax exemption and a military discount together, provided we have their information in our database. However, the only information we’re capable of completing in-store is updating or registering tax exemption permits. If a customer wants to register for a military discount they must do so online themselves. The next customer drops his items on the counter and turns to talk to his friend.

Me: “And do you have a military or tax exemption, sir?”

Customer: *Turns to me* “Did you say, ‘military’?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Thinking he didn’t hear me through the plexiglass or my mask, I move around and lift my mask off of my lips some, still covering my face, and repeat my question.

Customer: “Yes, I am military.”

Me: “Great! Can I have your number, please?”

Customer: *Instantly offended with a frown* “I don’t give out my phone number.”

Me: “Oh, but you are military?”

Customer: “I am.” *Shows me his military ID*

Me: “The only way I can add your discount is through your phone number, sir.”

He gives me a look, thinking about it, before shaking his head and muttering the number to me. Wouldn’t you know, it’s not showing up.

Me: “Are you registered with [Workplace], sir?”

Customer: “No, I’m not. Why would you need that, anyway? I have my ID right here!”

Me: “Oh, well, you need to be in our system to get the discount.”

Customer: “I couldn’t give a d*** if I’m in your system!”

Me: “Would you like to be?”

Customer: “No!”

I give him his total, without the discount, still remaining pleasant and courteous.

Customer: *Sneers* “Is that without the discount?” 

Me: “Yes, sir, it is.”

Customer: “I’m still a veteran!”

Me: “Yes, you are, sir, and I apologize.”

Customer: “Good! Thank you for acknowledging that!”

An off-duty employee from another department waiting in line comes up to him.

Coworker: “She’s only doing what she’s been trained to do, sir. She can’t do anything with your card. If you want your discount, you can go to our website and it will instruct you how to register. You don’t need to talk to her like that.”

Customer: “Thank you for that. Nah, we’re cool. She knows I was just messing!”

He swipes his card without further fuss. When receipts are printed with military discounts, we’re trained to thank them for their service. However, even though this one doesn’t, I thank him regardless, urge him to take the survey at the bottom, and wish him a good night

Customer: “Thank you.” *To [Coworker]* “Hey, thank you, boo! You have a good night!”

When [Coworker]’s turn comes, she grumbles as she places her items on the counter.

Coworker: “I served him back in Flooring earlier and he was nothing but courteous. I don’t know where that came from but he shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I hate being called ‘boo.’”

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