I have a very friendly regular who comes in super early every morning. They always order the same thing, and we always have a little talk.

Regular: “I just took one of those DNA test thingies.”

Me: “Oh, wow! Me, too!”

Regular: “It’s really cool.”

Me: “Yeah, the ancestry mix is amazing. My family is from so many places.”

Regular: “Yeah, but the family tree function is the best part. I found cousins and relatives I didn’t even know I had.”

Me: “Really? That’s on there?”

Regular: “Yes! You have to opt in. Want me to show you?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

Since it’s so early and quiet, the regular takes my phone and activates the “Relatives” section of the ancestry app. Straightaway, it highlights some distant cousins.

Me: “That’s so cool!”

The regular’s phone dings with a notification.

Regular: “Oh, would you look at that? I’ve got new relative matches, too!”

We both look at our phones for a moment to take in the new information, and then we both realize something. We look up at each other, shocked but smiling.

Me: “Your great-grandma was Nanna Beth from Brooklyn?”

Regular: “Hello, cousin!”

She’s no longer “just” my favorite regular now!

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I’ve been working in retail for over ten years, but just once, I saw the stars align perfectly.

Our coffee store is in a major university town — think Ivy League. My coworker is working as a barista while she is in a cheaper but no less worthy college. She is honestly one of the most intelligent people I know.

I am serving while she cleans some tables. She is wiping down a table where some rich-looking young people are drinking, likely students due to the number of textbooks they have open.

Customer: “Careful! If you spill coffee on these textbooks, they’ll cost you more than you make in a month.”

Coworker: “I aim to be careful, sir, but I can come back later if that’s more convenient.”

Customer: “That might be best. The conversation we’re having over here would just hurt your little brain, anyway.”

I see my coworker look at the page the book is open to and then casually stare at the customer.

Coworker: “Oh, you’re looking at quantum entanglement between electrons. Just wait until a few more pages in when you get to the part where you learn that electrons can have an up spin and a down spin at the same time. It’ll blow your little brain.”

With that, she wiped the table one last time and moved on to the next one. The arrogant student was giggled at by his friends as he turned a shade of red. This story now lives forever in my little brain.

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I work at a coffee shop, and one day, I was sitting in the shop working on my homework off the clock; I just needed to be not home. A regular came directly up to me while I was sitting down, out of the way, eating my food and studying.

Regular: “I placed an order for [Regular] over the phone and I need it now!”

I take a moment and look around before I tell her:

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not actually working at the moment, but I’m positive one of the workers will be more than happy to help you, provided you ask them at the counter.”

This was apparently not the answer [Regular] was seeking.

Regular: *Loudly* “You are so rude not to help me! I want your name and your current shift lead’s name to call the manager.”

When the shift lead hears what’s going on, she tries to help [Regular] and explains that I am not working that day. Unfortunately, [Regular]’s experience has been ruined.

Regular: “I want a refund, and I want my drinks!”

When she was told that was not possible, she said:

Regular: “Fine! Then I want this employee to pay me emotional compensation!”

Me: *Politely* “There’s no way in h***.”

And I left.

She called the store for WEEKS because an employee was rude to her and she expected me to be fired.

I work part-time as a barista at a coffee shop. Today at work, a woman ordered an iced coffee. I heard her tell the cashier that she wanted an iced coffee, and the cashier entered an iced coffee into the register. I don’t think there was a language barrier because the customer spoke English fluently.

When the customer received her iced coffee, she complained to the manager.

Customer: “Why is my iced coffee cold, and why does it have ice? When I ordered the iced coffee, I expected to receive a hot coffee with no ice. Can you remake it?”

She ordered “Vietnamese-styled iced coffee” from the “cold drinks” section of the menu. The drink has ice and has zero warm liquid in our shop, and the menu states how it’s prepared.

I don’t understand how these people function in society. I wonder what she thought an “iced coffee” was. The coffee shop offers plenty of hot drinks if she just wanted to order one of those.

I’m a barista at an independent café. A customer that I recognize comes in; she always orders the same drink.

Me: “Hello! Are you getting your blended mocha with soy milk?”

Customer: “Yes, and this time, I’d like to try it with peppermint syrup, as well.”

Me: “Sure thing! That will be $5.25.”

Customer: “What? My drink is always $4.75!”

Me: “Yes, but this time you are adding an additional flavor, which costs $0.50 extra.”

Customer: “But I always get the same drink!”

Me: “Yes, your usual blended mocha with soy milk is $4.75, but you ordered it with peppermint, which is a $0.50 upcharge, for a total of $5.25.”

She paid with a huff and sat down to wait, occasionally looking up to glare at me. She began to type furiously on her phone.

Sure enough, when I checked our reviews after my shift, she had given us two stars. Her review said, “Their coffee is great! It is frustrating when you come in and get the same drink often but the prices change every time you come in. Makes me not want to come in anymore knowing I could pay more or less depending on how they ring it up that day.”

Sigh…