The Power Of The Holiday Season

| NH, USA | Right | December 21, 2015

(I work for a large, popular coffee shop chain and it is four days before Christmas. A wind storm has caused all but our emergency power to go out, and we only have a few lights, one computer, and one espresso machine working. Our district manager refuses to authorize a complete shutdown until the final machines die, so we are still taking customers. Our store is very dark and oddly quiet due to the lack of music and refrigerator exhaust.)

Customer: “I’ll have a venti nonfat latte and a bacon breakfast sandwich.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can still make the drink, but our oven is not working at the moment, so we can’t heat up a sandwich for you.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. Well, the latte then. Can you also grind this coffee for a French press?” *places a pound of our company’s holiday coffee on the counter*

Me: “I’m afraid our grinder is out of commission as well right now. We have pre-ground bags of that coffee available on sale today, but the grind is intended for an electric coffee maker, not a French press.”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “Okay…” *grabs a gift card from our impulse display* “Can you put $15 on this and give me an envelope?”

(I scan the card and give it back to her.)

Me: “Be sure to hold onto the receipt for that. Our system is partially down and while I’m not anticipating it, there’s a small chance that the activation might not go through right away.”

Customer: *fully angry now* “Why are you being so god-d*** unhelpful today? It’s four days before Christmas! You people should have been prepared for a large amount of customers!”

Me: *very calmly* “Ma’am, we were prepared for a lot of customers. What we weren’t prepared for was a wind storm strong enough to knock out our power. That’s why our oven, grinder, and computers aren’t working to their normal capacity.”

(The woman blinks and looks around, as if she’s only now just noticing the building’s darkness and eerie silence.)

Customer: “Oh, wow. I didn’t even notice.”

Me: *trying to smile as I hand her the latte* “We’re working with what we have for now.”

Customer: “You have no business being open if you can’t take care of people!” *flounces off*

Me: “Merry Christmas!”

(Thank goodness we got the call to shut down only a few minutes later, but those few minutes involved several more people who could not comprehend that we couldn’t do much for them.)

Five Coffee Ring (Stains)

| Australia | Right | December 17, 2015

(I work in a cafe that is part of a club that also has restaurants and bars. People often come in for dinner and coffee, and then stick around for some drinks. It is just before Christmas, and two customers come to my counter looking very excited.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Club]! What can I get for you today?”

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like to order two cappuccinos, four hot chocolates, and three flat—”

Customer #2: *very excitedly* “And a partridge in a pear tree!”

(Both of them pause, looking at me expectantly.)

Customer #1: “…I think we did that wrong.”

Customer #2: “And we’re not even drunk yet!”

Stripped Of Inhibitions

| BC, Canada | Right | December 13, 2015

(I work two jobs in a small town. My regular position is lifeguard/AquaFit instructor at a local pool. I am currently working my part-time job at a local coffee shop when one of my regular AquaFit class members comes in with his wife and recognizes me.)

Customer: “Oh! Hey there, I almost didn’t recognize you with your clothes on!”

(His wife and I had a good laugh while his face went bright red and he fumbled through the rest of the transaction. The next day at the pool he could hardly make eye contact!)

Your Name Gets An Animated Response

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Working | December 9, 2015

(I have the fortune and misfortune of sharing the same last name as Walt Disney. As such, I often get teased to death, OR my name becomes a gag.)

Me: *in line at a coffee shop* “I’ll have a cappuccino, please. No whip.”

Cashier: “Okay, and name?”

Me: “[First Name].”

Cashier: “And last name, just in case there’s two of you.”

Me: “Disney.”

(The cashier looks up, jaw drooping. I sigh inwardly.)

Cashier: “You serious?”

Me: “Yup.”

Cashier: “So… you’re the one who green-lighted Mars Needs Moms? And Cars 2? And that god-awful Shrek series?”

(I am wildly confused by this point as this cashier ais actually serious. By now, the whole shop has gone quiet.)

Me:Shrek was Dreamworks.”

Cashier: *stares at me as I take my coffee and leave the shop*

(For some reason, he wasn’t in there the next time I went.)

Warning Signs: AKA Price Tags

| MN, USA | Right | December 9, 2015

(In addition to selling coffee we also sell things like mugs and greeting cards. A woman brings three cards up to the counter.)

Me: *after ringing them up* “That’ll be $16.50.”

Customer: “What? $16.50 for three cards? Are you sure?”

Me: *checks* “Yes, I’m sure. See, on the back it shows how much it is. These are all around $5 so with tax that makes $16.50.”

Woman: “Well, that seems like too much.”

Me: “Well,they are kind of expensive, but they are also really great cards and I’m sure whoever you are buying them for will love them.”

Customer: “But still, $16.50!”

Me: “Do you still want to buy them?”

Customer: “Well, yes, but you should have some sort of warning sign up.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “A warning sign. Write a sign that says, ‘Beware: cards are expensive!’”

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