Should Maybe Stop Calling Him “Daddy”

, , , , , | | Right | July 9, 2019

(I am 17, working as a temporary receptionist for a company where my dad also works. It is my first real job and I am pretty nervous. One of my first calls comes from a client who asks for my dad, but he is currently in a meeting. When I tell the client this, he starts talking about what a great guy my dad is, how smart he is, etc., all the while not knowing that we are related. It is pretty harmless, until…)

Client: “I bet you have a huge crush on him.”

Me: “Well, actual—”

Client: *cutting me off* “Come on, he’s a handsome guy! I’m sure all the girls over there think he’s a cutie.”  

Me: “No, he—”

Client: *cutting me off again* “Oh, it’s okay. You can tell me! I won’t tell anyone.”

Me: *uncomfortably chuckling*

Client: “See! I knew it! You have the hots for him. Ooh, I’m going to tell him!”

Me: “No, you see—”

Client: “You don’t have to be shy! I’m sure he’d be flattered.”

Me: *finally losing patience* “Well, actually, I’m pretty sure I don’t have a crush on my own father.”

Client: “Your father? Whoa! You’re [My Dad]’s daughter?”

Me: “Yes.”

Client: *huffily* “Well, that’s no fun.”

(I offered to transfer him to my dad’s voicemail, which he accepted, but not without letting me know once again that I had ruined his “fun” game.)

Hail To The Bus Driver, Part 8

, , , , | | Right | May 21, 2019

(I’m on a bus. The driver is a substitute and does not normally drive this route, and as such has made several wrong turns, etc. All three passengers, including me, have just laughed it off and tried to help her get back on track. We’ve reached the end of the line, where all three of us happen to be getting off.)

Driver: “Sorry about that. Thanks for being patient with me.”

Passenger #1: “No big deal. We got here in the end, and we’re only a few minutes late.”

Passenger #2: “Honestly, I’m not in a hurry. It was actually kind of amusing.”

Driver: “Well, at least you didn’t yell at me.”

Me: *yelling* “YOU ARE AN AWESOME BUS DRIVER!”

Related:
Hail To The Bus Driver, Part 7
Hail To The Bus Driver, Part 6
Hail To The Bus Driver, Part 5

Can’t Discount Their Fake Employee Discount

, , , , , | Right | March 20, 2019

(I currently work at a department store. I have just opened as a cashier, and I am doing one of my first few transactions when this happens.)

Customer: “So, do you guys have a veteran discount or a senior discount?”

Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry. Unfortunately, we do not have either of those discounts.”

Customer: “Oh, okay… What if I pretended to be an employee? Would that get me a discount?”

Me: “Um… No, sir, I’m sorry, but that would not get you a discount.”

(I continue checking him out, and I am almost done when…)

Customer: “So, pretending to be an employee, that’s not going to work for you? Wouldn’t get me a discount?”

Me: “No, sir, it will not.”

Some People Bet Hard Cash That People Can’t Be That Stupid

, , , , , | Right | March 18, 2019

(I do sales support for several brands of small appliances. We can take credit cards over the phone but not cash, for obvious reasons. For some reason, I occasionally get some clown trying to pay cash over the phone. I have developed a way to deal with this, but this particular instance is a whole new level of stupid. I’m on a call with a customer. I’m just reaching the payment part of the transaction:)

Me: “…and how would you like to pay for this today? We can take credit card over the phone or you can pay in-store when you pick up the item.”

Customer: “I’d like to pay cash.”

Me: “Certainly, you can pay cash on pick-up at the store.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “No?”

Customer: “No. I want to pay cash now!”

(It’s going to be one of those calls. Sigh. Time to break out the secret weapon.)

Me: “Certainly, ma’am, if you could just hand me the cash.”

Customer: *silence*

(This usually forces them to figure it out on their own while seeming to be helpful. Most customers take about thirty seconds for it to click and then give up and pay by credit card or in-store. But…)

Customer: *satisfied* “Okay, there you go.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Do you have the money yet?”

Me: “No, sir, I’m afraid I cannot take cash over the phone.”

Customer: *irate* “What?! But you just said you could. I gave you my money! Give it back.”

(The customer started screaming and swearing that I’d taken her money. She demanded to talk to my supervisor, and I was only too happy to hand it off to him. My supervisor couldn’t make sense of it, either, but he eventually managed to calm the woman down enough to get her to come into a store location. A few days later, my supervisor relayed to me what the manager of the store had told him. Apparently, this middle-aged woman had come in shouting about us taking her money through the phone. When they asked her what she had done with the money, she opened up the case of her cell phone and, lo and behold, there was the money shoved into the case. How she thought her cell phone was going to transmit the money, I don’t know.)

Unfiltered Story #142822

, , , | Unfiltered | March 10, 2019

(I have Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) and use a wheelchair. I also have a service dog that opens doors and retrieves dropped objects.)

I enter the restaurant, and am immediately accosted by a patron.

Patron 1: You can’t take your pets in here. They serve food.

Me: It’s OK. He’s a service animal.

Patron 1: He’s >not< a seeing eye dog–you’re not blind.

Me: He’s a service animal, there’s more kinds than just seeing eye dogs.

(The waiter comes up, and confirms my reservation while shooing Patron 1 out the door.)

Patron 2 comes up, an elderly lady: You shouldn’t have to deal with people like that, you poor dear. You have enough troubles being blind and disabled.

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