Her Brain Has Expired

, , , , , , | Right | December 14, 2019

(I am a cashier at a large store. We frequently have issues with coupons being misused for fraud and illegal gains, so I’ve learned to really check to make sure they are right. I’ve worked at this store for two years doing this. A customer hands over a coupon. I inspect it and realize it is for a product she does not have, and one we do not even carry in our store.)

Me: “I’m sorry, this is for the lotion, not the lip balm. See, it has a picture of the lotion and says, ‘Try our lotion.'”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. If you don’t do this often it can be confusing, but you can use this for any of their products.”

Me: “It says this is for the lotion. Also, the coupon is six months expired.”

Customer: “No, you aren’t doing it right; you don’t understand. I know it can be confusing but you don’t know how it works; it can be used for anything.”

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t use this.”

(Understandably, we cannot take expired coupons because the manufacturer will not pay us back for them.)

Customer: “Well, I mean, okay, if you don’t know that’s just too bad that I have to go through this because you don’t know what you’re doing.”

(The customer doesn’t say she does not want the item, so I complete her transaction. She sits at my register staring at her receipt for a good minute and a half before she speaks up.)

Customer: “I don’t want this item since you didn’t use my coupon; do I need to return it here or over at that desk?”

(I returned the item there. She proceeded to stand at the next check lane carefully inspecting her receipt for another five minutes. This customer walked away thinking I was an idiot who “doesn’t know how coupons work” because I wouldn’t take an expired coupon for the wrong product.)

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Unfiltered Story #179097

, , , | Unfiltered | December 6, 2019

Customer: I have a question about something else.

Me: Yes?

Customer: I’m searching for ancestry.com.

Me: Er, the website?

Customer: I don’t know, someone told me you sell it here.

Me: No, that’s a website.

Customer: A what?

Me: A website. You use a computer to access it.

Customer: Oh, are you sure?

Makes You Want To Elbow Her In The Oboe

, , , , | Right | December 1, 2019

(I work part-time at a small mom-and-pop music store that sells, rents, and repairs musical instruments. I am only here when my boss is unable to come into the store. He takes an annual two-week trip in the summer every year. He is the only one who repairs clarinets, flutes, and oboes. A woman comes in with her shy, middle-school-aged daughter.)

Woman: “My daughter’s oboe isn’t working and I need it repaired by the end of the week.”

(The end of the week is tomorrow.)

Me: “I am sorry, but the man who fixes oboes is on vacation and will not be coming back for another week and a half. You can leave it with us and he will look at it as soon as he comes back, or you can bring it back in when he gets back on [date].”

(The woman turns to her daughter)

Woman: “When is your next practice session?”

Daughter: “Next Wednesday.”

Woman: “My daughter needs this done by next Wednesday. This is unacceptable. We have rented lots of instruments from you over the years and we cannot not have service. I will be coming back in as soon as your boss gets back to return the instrument. We will not be renting from you anymore.”

(The lady ushered her daughter out before I could say anything else. If she had stuck around for five more seconds I would have told her that I could give her a loaner oboe that her daughter could use while she waited for the instrument to be fixed, but I guess that would have taken too long for her.)

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I Am Me And I Am He

, , , , , | Right | November 13, 2019

(This is an email conversation:)

Customer: “I keep getting all these emails from you about different pricing and rock-bottom pricing deals and how you want to give me stuff. Tell me more about this.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot find a [Customer] in our database, nor can I find an account attached to [email provided]. Under what name, email address, and physical address is your account listed?”

Customer: “I have no idea. Just answer my questions.”

Me: “If you have ‘no idea’ what name the account is under, or what email address or physical address, I cannot assist you, I’m sorry. Your first email could be referring to a number of things we’re offering. Please clarify the account information and I’d be glad to assist you.”

Customer: “Forget about the sale, then.”

(If you have no idea who you are, how I am I supposed to know who you are?)

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Unfiltered Story #177156

, , , | Unfiltered | November 12, 2019

Customer: I saw it was on sale last Saturday.
Me: Actually our ads run Sundays through Saturday. Sorry, that was last week.
Customer: Right, so it should still be on sale.
Me: Sales end on Saturdays. New sales start on Sundays.
Customer: So it will still be one sale.