Unfiltered Story #122505

, , , | Unfiltered | October 7, 2018

(I work at a seasonal Halloween store, and today only a few customers are in the store. I am sweeping when I turn into a hallway in front of the registers; it was like a scene in a horror story. A young kid, maybe eight, has one of the little toys we set by the registers in his mouth.)

Kid: *blows on it* “It’s a whistle.”

Me: “Um…”

Kid: *puts it back on the shelf* “It’s broken.”

(A fellow cashier sanitized the whistles with Purell and nervously laughed it off. Later a mom is checking out and her little girl is picking out more trinkets to buy and almost leaves with the EXACT SAME WHISTLE. She was stopped and it was put back.)

Me: *to fellow cashier* “I was so tempted to tell her “Are you sure about that whistle? A little boy used it before you.””

Strive For It To Be Five

, , , | Right | September 24, 2018

(I end up having dinner with an acquaintance — not the nicest of human beings — every few weeks, for convoluted social reasons. Thursday night, we are at a popular fast food restaurant, but due to the time of day we have the place to ourselves.)

Cashier: *to acquaintance* “Your total is $5.29, ma’am.”

Acquaintance: “Shoot, I only have a $5 bill. Can’t you just take that and tell the register you got all the money?”

(The cashier and I are speechless.)

Acquaintance: *in a wheedling tone* “Come on. It’s only $0.29! What difference does it make?”

Me: *recovering* “[Acquaintance], come on. If she did that kind of thing, she’d lose her job!”

Acquaintance: *pouting* “Fine, I’ll use my debit card.”

(The next week, on Wednesday night, we’re at the same restaurant, it is super quiet, and the same cashier has just finished ringing my acquaintance up. From the order counter, we can see the two other employees sitting and doing paperwork.)

Cashier: *to acquaintance* “Your total is $5.29, ma’am.”

Acquaintance: “Oops! All I have is a five. That’s close enough, right?”

Employee: *in back, in what was obviously meant to be a whisper but carries clearly to the counter* “What is wrong with people? That’s the second time in a week someone’s tried that scam!”

Acquaintance: “Um, put it on my debit card, I guess…”

These Boots Weren’t Made For Bagging

, , , , | Right | September 18, 2018

(I work in a shoe store. Today this guy comes in, and picks out and pays for work boots. Then, this happens:)

Associate: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any bags big enough for this box.”

Customer: “Then I don’t want them. Give me my money back.”

Associate: “Ooookay…”

Unfiltered Story #120175

, , , | Unfiltered | September 10, 2018

(I am manager of tech support for software used by Fortune 500 companies. We have one customer that complains our product does not show his bill of materials data correctly. After researching the issue, my Indian programmer asks for help convincing the guy he is wrong.)

Me: “This program was written assuming X value would be setup this way, XYZ.” *numbering logic*

Customer: No! Mine are setup THIS way (he just numbered things 1,2 3,etc.

Programmer in my ear:(that is NOT how you do a BOM!! And not how the manual says.

Me: Well, we could reprogram it, but it would be a very costly project and take a long time!

Customer: I have been doing BOM for 30 years! [click]

Programmer: One year 30 times over maybe!

The exact same thing happened with a General Ledger, the underlying basis of a company’s accounting system. We had a joke – don’t buy stock in those companies!

Painting A Pretty Stupid Picture Of Yourself

, , , , , | Right | August 20, 2018

(I am repainting some of the public benches for the city when a woman sits on the bench I’m painting.)

Woman: “Oh, my God! You got paint all over my clothes!”

Me: “Well, you just sat on wet paint, so…”

Woman: “How was I supposed to know the paint was wet?”

(I look down at the paintbrush in my hand, and at the company name — which includes “painter” — clearly written on my uniform.)

Me: “Most people can tell.”

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