What A Fowl Prank

, , , , , , | Right | February 22, 2021

Working in a grooming salon, we tend to get some strange requests. One day, my coworker comes to the back and says she has just been talking to a “crazy” man in the lobby.

An older man came into the lobby and stood for a few minutes before talking to my coworker

Man: “My kids brought me a pet and I want to get it a bath.”

Coworker: “Certainly, do you have a dog or cat?”

Man: “It’s about this big by this big.” 

He held his hands about two feet apart and then indicated about a foot and a half high.

Coworker: “All right, sir, what breed of dog is it?”

Man: “It’s a turkey.”

Coworker: “Oh, um, sorry, sir, we don’t do baths on turkeys.”

Man: “How about raccoons?”

I joked with her that he was a little confused; prank calls work better over the phone.

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Do Not Disturb Me With Your Stupidity

, , , , , | Right | January 25, 2021

My dad and I go to get new phones. There is only one employee but the only people ahead of us are an elderly couple.

Employee: “So, you cannot call him but can call everyone else?” 

Elderly Woman: “Yes. You saw the phones; fix it.”

My dad rolls his eyes.

Employee: “Hang on. I’m the only person working so I need to call someone to help me.”

Elderly Man: “Yeah, do so.”

My dad rolls his eyes again. Thirty minutes later…

Employee: “Sir, is your do-not-disturb on?”

The elderly man bends over and lets out a belly laugh.

Elderly Man: “Oh, yeah. I turned it on for church. Is that a problem?”

His wife turned red, grabbed the phone, and scurried out, no thank-you or anything.

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This Bank Is So Cancelled

, , , , , , | Working | January 5, 2021

I am a female in my twenties. I am on my bank mobile app reviewing purchases and withdrawals from the last few months when I notice a couple of charges on my debit card that I don’t recognize. After determining that they came from two online stores that I have never visited, I decide that I should cancel the card and get a new one issued. The charges only total about $6, but I know thieves will sometimes test a card with a small purchase to see if it works before making a larger one.

I drive to the bank and ask the teller about how to get a new card, and they direct me to a specific manager’s office.

Me: “Hello, I was told you could help me get a new debit card issued. There have been some fraudulent charges on—”

Manager: *Interrupting me* “Are you sure they were fraudulent?”

Me: *Pauses* “Yes? I reviewed where the charges came from and I don’t recognize them.”

Manager: “You must just not remember. Happens all the time. I’m sure you went on a shopping spree with your friends and forgot about something that you bought.”

I am definitely not the type of person to go on random “shopping sprees” with my friends nor forget what I purchased, and it irks me that she is stereotyping me in this way, but I try to remain calm.

Me: “Um, no. These charges came from online stores that I have never even heard of. If you bring up my checking account, I can show you. One was on [date] and another was on [date].”

Manager: “We can’t refund those. We can only refund you if the purchase was made less than thirty days ago. If you really thought someone was using your card, you should have come in sooner.”

Me: “I understand that. The charges were only about $6 and I didn’t notice them until very recently, so if I can’t get reimbursed that is fine. I just want to cancel this card and get a new one.”

Manager: “It’s gonna be a long process to get a new one, you know. You won’t have a debit card for several weeks until the new one comes in. Are you sure you didn’t just forget you bought something? This is going to be a lot of trouble over only $6.”

Me: “Yes, I am positive. I have other credit cards I can use, or cash. It’s not about the $6. I do not want more, larger fraudulent charges showing up on my bank account, so I would like a new debit card.”

She eyes me for a moment longer, as if waiting for me to realize I’m making a huge mistake.

Manager: “Fine, I will cancel your card and order a replacement. Your new card will be mailed to you.”

I eventually received and activated my new card without any issue, and I thought this was the end of it, until about a year later. I received a parcel in the mail from my bank, and I was surprised to find it contained another debit card… with my old card number and an updated expiration date. The card, it seems, was never cancelled, so I’ve apparently had two open debit cards attached to my bank account for over a year. Luckily, it doesn’t appear that any more fraudulent charges were made, but I will be calling my bank tomorrow and demanding to speak to anyone ELSE who can cancel my old card.

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Yet Another Christmas Miracle!

, , , , , , , | Right | December 22, 2020

I work as a seasonal cashier in a specialized gift shop over the holidays. I have just finished ringing up a customer.

Customer: “Thank you very much! Merry Christmas!”

Me: “You’re welcome! Merry Christmas to you, too!”

After the customer leaves, my coworker walks up to me.

Coworker: “Hey, didn’t you say you were an atheist?”

Me: “Um, yeah?”

Coworker: “Oh, I was just wondering if you ever get upset when people tell you ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘God bless you.’”

As I am about to reply, I overhear a customer talking not so quietly to her husband.

Customer: “Dear, did you hear? That girl doesn’t believe in God! How despicable! She shouldn’t even be working here!”

I turn to my coworker, just loud enough so the customer can hear:

Me: “No, I don’t get upset when people have different religious beliefs than me. Just because I’m atheist doesn’t mean I’m not an honest, decent person, or that I can’t accept that others have the right to believe what they want.”

My coworker realizes what I am doing.

Coworker: “Yeah. It’s a real shame other people can’t keep their opinions to themselves. I especially hate it when someone claiming to be Christian doesn’t act very Christlike by judging others.”

The customer, now thoroughly embarrassed, tells her husband to finish his shopping while she waits for him outside. She whispers something else to him before she leaves. A few moments later, the husband walks up with his purchase.

Customer’s Husband: “Hello. My wife wanted me to tell you she was very sorry, and that she was too ashamed to apologize herself.”

Me: “No problem, sir! Please tell her that her apology is accepted, and to have a very Merry Christmas!”

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Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 14

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2020

I work in a grocery store bakery. Our bakery does not have a register and no one in the bakery is trained to use one. This customer approaches my counter when I’m just about to close and am the only person in the department.

Customer: “How much are these croissants?”

Me: “They’re $3.99, $2 with a club card.”

Customer: “I don’t have one of your stupid cards. Here, just take four.”

The customer tries to hand me cash.

Me: “Sorry, I don’t have a register; you have to pay for that up front or in the deli department next door.”

Customer: “I’m not walking all the way up front! Stop being lazy and just take the f****** money!”

Me: “Your purchases need to go through a register, and I’m not even trained to use one. Please stop trying to hand me your money and go find a clerk to process your transaction.”

Customer: “F*** you! I can’t believe you won’t let me pay you because you’re lazy. Get me a manager! I’m going to have your stupid a** fired!” 

Me: “Mmkay.”

I page over a manager and the customer is “nice” enough to explain the entire situation exactly before I can speak, albeit belligerently and loudly.

Manager: “Ma’am, every purchase needs to go through a register so we can keep track of what is sold and how much money is being earned; that’s how a business works.”

Customer: “Shut up! Thieves!”

The customer throws her money in my face and runs out of the store with the croissants.

Me: “So, uh, what now?” 

The manager picks up the money and begins counting.

Manager: “She left $20.” *Shuffles through it* “Here’s $16; consider it a tip. Too tired to deal with this s***.”

Related:
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 13
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 12
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 11
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 10
Lack Of Register Does Not Register, Part 9

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