Getting An Odd Reading On This Situation

, , , , , | Right | August 6, 2018

Customer: “I’d like to find out information about upgrading my membership.”

Me: “Okay, if you were to upgrade it would be $100 instead of $70, and the coverage would be an extra 100 miles of service.”

Customer: “Can you print that out for me instead of just telling me?”

Me: “Sure!” *prints information out and hands to member* “There you go.”

Customer: “Can you read it to me? I can’t read.”

She’s Only Half Right

, , , , , , | Right | July 25, 2018

(I am working in the meat department of a well-known organic food store. A customer comes up and inquires about the chickens in the display case. Note: these are raw, fully plucked, very dead chickens. They are pasture-raised and humanely killed.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need a chicken.”

Me: “Sure, I can get that wrapped up for you! Which one would you like?”

Customer: “These are all too big; it’s just me at home. Aren’t there any smaller ones?”

Me: “They don’t get much smaller than this, but I can offer you half of a chicken, instead.”

Customer: “Half… half of a chicken? They come in halves?”

Me: “Yes, it’s quite simple. I’ll take care of it right now!”

(I grab a chicken from the case and walk to the cutting board. I cut the chicken neatly in half along the spine using a meat cleaver and mallet. Then, I take the two halves back to the customer so she can choose which she liked.)

Me: “Which half would you like?”

Customer: “You just cut it in half… Right in half! With a knife and a hammer!”

Me: “Yeah, it’s pretty simple to do. You could even do it at home if you—”

(She cuts me off.)

Customer: “No! That was cruel. I don’t want it anymore! That was cruel! That poor chicken. You split it right in half with a hammer and knife!”

(She marched indignantly away, while I stood there, flabbergasted and holding the two halves of the chicken.)

Makes You Want To Soda Scream

, , , , | Right | July 10, 2018

(A customer comes up to my till.)

Customer: “This is for my daughter’s birthday, and I’d really like to hurry and get home.”

Me: *looking at the order he has, there are a few toys and a soda maker* “I see you’re bringing the party with you!”

Customer: “I am! So let’s hurry. I’d like these bagged very specifically.”

Me: “Sure, I’ll scan and you tell me what to bag.”

(The customer began moving the items around a bunch. I’ve seen it before: they start messing with their order to get you to double-scan something so they have a reason to bring items back. I’m positive I didn’t double-scan anything, but an hour later, we received a call saying that I double-charged him and he’d be in for a refund the next day. The thing is, our soda makers are $20, and come with two CO2 cartridges and a glass bottle, all of which are $20 EACH when sold separately. As if by magic, he lost the receipt, demanded a refund for his double-charge, and returned the soda maker without the CO2 cartridges or the bottle because “they smelled weird so I threw them out.” All in all, we paid him $40 to make $60 to $80 on eBay.)

That’s Not How Sales Work; That’s Not How Any Of Them Work

, , , , | Right | June 27, 2018

(We put items on clearance when they haven’t sold in about eight months to a year. Our tags have small numbers on them that show when we got the item in stock, so even without a clearance sticker, it’s easy to tell if something should be on clearance or not.)

Customer: *approaches with a bath rug* “Excuse me. Is this on sale?”

Me: *checks tag* “I’m sorry, but we got this item in too recently for it to be on clearance anytime soon.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(She walks away for a couple minutes before coming back with the same bath rug as before, but this time she is also carrying one with a clearance sticker. The second one is the same brand as the first, but a different size, color, and style.)

Customer: “This one is on sale, though, so the other one should be, too!”

Me: “That’s… not how it works.”

Read The Email; That’s The Ticket!

, , , , | Right | June 21, 2018

(It is a policy at our venue that if you buy tickets online and pick them up in the box office, you must show the purchaser’s ID or the credit card they used, even if they are not present. “So-and-so said I could have their tickets,” is not a valid excuse.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m picking up tickets for [Buyer].”

Me: “Okay, can I see your ID?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s not me. He’s not coming, so he said I could have the tickets.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I need to see [Buyer]’s ID or his credit card in order to give you his tickets.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay; he gave me permission. Here, it’s written right here.”

(He hands me a folded piece of paper through the ticket slot. I open it to find a printed screenshot of an email, the right half of which is cut off so I can’t even read the whole message.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but this doesn’t really tell me anything. I can’t let you have those tickets without an ID.”

(I hand him the paper back through the window.)

Customer: *getting angry* “Look, if you’ll just read it, it says right here. He is letting me have his tickets because he can’t make it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have no way of knowing who that email is from or who it is addressed to, and half of it is cut off.”

Customer: *trying to shove the paper back through the window* “Just read it! It says right here!”

Me: “I can’t accept this. You’ll need to get his ID or credit card, or I can’t give you the tickets.”

(He snatches the paper back without a word. I watch as he goes over to the venue entrance and waves the paper in the poor ticket-taker’s face until a manager shows up. The manager takes a look for himself, says something to the customer, and then disappears around the corner and comes into the box office.)

Manager: “Let him have the tickets. That paper is bulls***, but I know the guy who bought the tickets, and I know he ended up not being able to come.”

(I find the tickets and hand them to the customer.)

Customer: “There, see? If you had just read the email this would have been so much easier!”

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