Skirting Around Lifestyle Choices

, , , , | Friendly | December 10, 2018

(My husband has recently taken to wearing a kilt. This happens soon after at a boosktore.)

Customer: “Oh, I like your skirt!”

Husband: “Um, it’s a kilt.”

Customer: “Oh, I’m sorry. I just wanted to say I support your lifestyle.” *facepalms* “I’m just making it worse, aren’t I?”

Mention The Time When Mentioning The Times

, , , , | Right | December 9, 2018

Me:  “Hi. Thank you for calling [Bookstore]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. There was a book in the New York Times that I’d like to get.”

Me: “Okay. Do you know the title, or what it’s about?”

Customer: “No, but it was a full-page ad in the newspaper.”

Me: “Okay, give me one second.”

(I go and scan through the “Times” to find anything to go off of.)

Me: “Okay, I didn’t see anything. Are you sure it was the Times? I checked today’s paper and there weren’t any full-page ads like that.”

Customer: “Today’s paper? No, this was weeks ago. Do you know the book?”

Me: *pause* “We don’t have it.”

Used Bookstores Need To Get Used To This

, , , , | Right | December 7, 2018

(I work at a secondhand bookstore, and it is obvious that we do not sell brand-new or never-even-opened books. And yet…)

Customer: *holds up a small stack of books* “Are these books new?”

Me: “No, sir, they’re used.”

Customer: *shuffles through his pile and holds up a book that was released quite recently* “But this one’s new.”

Me: “Yes and no. It’s secondhand.”

Customer: “But it is new.” *waves it in front of my face*

Me: *backing up slightly* “It might be a recently-released book, but it’s still secondhand.”

Customer: “Where are your other new books? I want brand new. Never been owned by someone.”

Me: “We’re a secondhand bookstore, sir. They’re all used.”

Customer: “Where are your new books?”

Me: *sigh* “We don’t have any kinds of books like that, sir. They’ve all been owned by someone else at some point.”

Customer: “What kind of bookstore are you?”

Me: “A used one, sir.”

(Wash. Rinse. Repeat.)

He’s Ray Off Course

, , , , | Right | December 6, 2018

(I work in a bookstore.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you have any books by Ray Bradbury?”

Me: “Yes, I know we’ve got—”

Customer: “Wait, not Bradbury. Brown.”

Me: “Ray Brown? I’ll have to check.”

Customer: “Okay. And his name’s not Ray…”

The Urgency Of Missing Children Is Lost On Entitled Customers

, , , , | Right | December 1, 2018

(This happens when I am working at a large, national bookstore in the city. It is during the holiday season, so we are very busy. When a child goes missing in the store, a manager alerts all customers and staff over the speakers, and we must stop what we are doing until the child is found. This particular day I am working the cash register and am ringing up a young couple when we are alerted a child has gone missing.)

Me: “I apologize, but a child has gone missing. I am not allowed to finish this transaction until we have found them. Thank you for your patience.”

(We wait about thirty seconds as a manager comes by, tells us to stop working, and describes the child.)

Customer: “How long does it take to find a missing kid? I have things I need to be doing.”

Me: “I apologize, but a child is missing. I will finish your purchase immediately after if you would like to wait.”

Customer: “No one will notice. Just do it quietly.”

Me: “…”

(Thankfully, the child was found five minutes later, unharmed. The couple waited and stayed silent for the rest of the transaction, and rolled their eyes when I thanked them for their patience. I’m sorry the book you’re buying is more important than a child’s life.)

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