Member-Slip, Part 2

, , , | Right | June 25, 2020

I am a cashier. At the beginning of every transaction, we ask the customer if they have our membership card. If not, we offer to make it, as it’s free and never expires. Most people agree. 

The first step is asking for an email address so it can be registered in our system, but we can immediately unsubscribe the person if they don’t want to receive promotional info from us.

Me: “Hello! Do you have our store card?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Would you like one? It’s free and only takes a minute.”

Customer: “Okay, sure!”

Me: “All right, I’ll just need your email—”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t want to receive any emails.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll put that in and you won’t—”

Customer: “Then why do you need it?”

Me: “So it can be registered in the store, and if ever you forget your card, we can find it in the system that way.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

The customer says nothing else.

Me: “Okay… so, your email address is?”

Customer: “I don’t want to receive emails.”

Me: “You won’t.”

Customer: “Then why do you need my email address?”

I wish I could say this was an isolated incident.


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Now He’ll Have Plenty Of Time To Look At His Phone

, , , , , , | Working | June 24, 2020

I’m on my day off and decide to swing by the bookstore where I work to get a new book that just came out. It’s a Saturday during the holidays, so I’m expecting it to be a bit busy, but when I get there, it’s actually not too bad.

I find the book that I’m looking for and start to head toward the front. When I pass customer service, I see one of our new hires, who we are all betting is not going to be here after the holidays, on his phone.

Usually, one or two of us will take a quick look at our phone as long as it’s dead and there aren’t any customers needing help, and we usually are pretty discreet about it. He’s standing on the floor, with his name badge on, headset on, and holding his phone up like he’s watching something.

A customer approaches him asking him for help. He holds out a hand and tells her she can wait and continues to tap out whatever he’s doing on the phone. I stop dead in my tracks and watch him. The customer looks at him in shock and then tries to ask him again for a book. 

He does the hand gesture again and I see red. I go up to the lady and tell her I’m off the clock but I ask how I can help. She is super sweet and just needs one book, and thankfully, I know where it is so I take her to it. 

After I help her, I head back to the customer service prepared to rip the new hire to shreds for not doing his job. I notice the customer I was helping is standing next to my general manager, who does random Saturday checks to see how we are performing. 

I see the customer nodding and pointing to him and then pointing over to me, and our GM has this look on his face. He walks over to me first and asks me if I helped someone off the clock.

I nod and tell him I am on my day off, but since the new hire couldn’t be bothered to help someone because he was on the phone, and since I knew where the book was, it was no big deal. 

He nods and then goes over to the new hire and asks if he could help him find something. The new hire, still on his phone, holds up his hand and continues to look at his phone. 

The GM taps his shoulder again. Finally, the new hire looks up and asks, with the most sarcastic attitude I’ve ever heard, what he can be bothered helping him with. 

The GM laughs and then tells the new hire to go home and not come back. The new hire begins to sass our GM. Our manager comes up from the backroom and greets the GM, and the GM tells them that he is firing our new hire, effective immediately.

Then, when the new hire begins to whine and fuss, our GM points out that I, on my day off, managed to not only help a customer but do it to the best of my ability, while he was on the clock and couldn’t be bothered.

That’s the story of the worst new hire I’ve ever met and how I got a raise and a letter of recommendation from my GM.

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A “Prime” Example

, , , | Right | June 24, 2020

Customer: “Hi. I was wondering if I could return this book?”

Me: “Certainly. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t. I ordered it online, so…”

Me: “I can look you up by your order number, if you have that.”

I move toward the computer to pull up our mail order list.

Customer: “I won’t be in there. I bought on Amazon and just wanted to see if I could return in here.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry, but we can only take back items that were purchased at our store.”

I looked over to my coworker as the customer left, and he looked as baffled as I felt.

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The Outside World Is Scary For An Academic

, , , | Right | June 23, 2020

I’m working in a local bookstore one weekend, and I answer the phone.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bookstore]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Do you guys buy books? I have textbooks I want to sell.”

Me: “We do buy used books for store credit, but unfortunately, we don’t buy textbooks.”

Caller: “Well, what other kinds of books are there?”

Me: “Um…” *Awkward pause* “Just… fiction, non-fiction…”

I am trying really hard to not laugh.

Caller: “Well, what about these books on psychology I have?”

Me: “Are they textbooks?”

Caller: “They’re written by an author.”

Me: “Yes, but are they textbooks?”

Caller: “They have an ISBN number.”

Me: “Yes… but did you buy them at a college bookstore for your class?”

Caller: “No. Oh! You buy just regular old books, huh?”

Me: *Pause* “Yes. Yes, we do.”

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Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 18

, , , | Right | June 17, 2020

Our bookstore also sells movies and music. One night, I get a call:

Me: “[Store], [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hello, I was wondering what your policy is for movies.”

Me: “We give you thirty days with receipt, but they have to be unopened.”

Caller: “What do you mean?”

Me: “If you tear the plastic sealing the movies off, we won’t take it back.”

Caller: “But I just want to watch it and return it!”

Me: “We don’t do that. We’re a store, not a rental place. Have you tried Blockbuster?”

Yes, I’m dating this story!

Caller: “But I found you in the Yellow Pages, and it says you do!”

Me: “No, sir. [Store] is a store. I can promise you that we’ve never rented movies.”

He grumbled and hung up. We got three other calls in a similar vein that night.

The manager eventually found that our store had been listed under the heading “Renting OR Buying” for movies. I guess “OR” and “AND” mean the same thing to some people?

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 17
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 16
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 15
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 14
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 13

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