I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here: The Book

, , , , | Right | November 11, 2018

(I work in a library, and one of the best parts of my job is when I get to go shopping for new books with what essentially amounts to a blank cheque. The bookstore we have an account with knows us, and when I or my colleagues turn up to do some buying they usually give us a big trolley to pile up our purchases in. These are staff trolleys; most customers in the shop wouldn’t use anything bigger than a shopping basket. I’m dressed in casual shopping clothes; the staff have uniforms, name tags, and lanyards. Another customer approaches me while I’m pushing my trolley around selecting books.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you know if you have [New Popular Cookbook] in stock?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t work here!”

Customer: “Oh, I just thought…” *gestures at the trolley*

Me: “Yeah, I know it’s confusing. But I actually work for a library and I’m here buying some new stock!”

(The customer stares at me blankly before walking away. This has happened to me before, and this is the second time that line has gone down with blank stares and borderline hostile reactions, as if it’s my fault that they made the mistake and can’t just laugh it off or admit that they’re super jealous that I get paid to shop for books. I continue on my merry way, until about five minutes later, when the same woman approaches me again in a different aisle.)

Customer: “Do you know where [Some Other Specific Book] is?”

Me: *incredulously* “I still don’t work here?”

Customer: “Oh, I know. I just thought you might know, anyway.”

(The store is busy, but there’s always staff around who are knowledgeable and eager to help. I have no idea why she decided that I was more likely to know than they were, or why she doubled down on being wrong. But my library got new books, so it’s all good!)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 33
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 32
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 31

Hitting Redial Doesn’t Correct The Number!

, , , , | Right | November 9, 2018

(I work in a bookstore. I am currently training a new employee who has been working with us for about a week. I am letting him run the registers, and answering questions while I shadow him in case he has any trouble. We have just opened for the day and he is busy checking out a customer when the phone rings, so I answer it.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bookstore]. This is [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I am [Caller]. I am having surgery on Saturday and the surgeon needs a doctor to approve it. Can your office give them a call?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I think you’ve called the wrong number. This is [Bookstore].”

Caller: “What?”

(I have to repeat myself a couple of times before she understands.)

Caller: “Is this [number that ends with a six]?”

Me: “No, this is [number that ends in a zero].”

Caller: *hangs up*

(I go back to what I was doing. A few minutes later, the phone rings again. It is the same woman, who goes through the same spiel. I again tell her that she has dialled the wrong number, and she hangs up immediately. My manager is nearby so I let him know what’s going on. Not long after, the phone rings again. My manager and I exchange a look and I answer the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bookstore]. This is [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I am [Caller]. I am having surgery on Saturday, and the surgeon told me he needs a doctor to approve it, so can one of your doctors give them a call?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but you’ve called the bookstore again.”

Caller: *angry and raising her voice* “Young lady, I dialled the correct number, and if you can’t—”

(I hand the phone to my manager. He is silent for a moment while she continues her tirade about how she MUST have called the right number, and then he reiterates that she has not and that there is nothing he can do for her. He tells her the number is what the number is and she is dialling it wrong. We all laugh about it and go back to work. The next time the phone rings I refuse to answer it, so the trainee gets it.)

Trainee: “Thanks for calling [Bookstore]. I’m [Trainee]; how can I help you?” *pause* “Ma’am, this is [Bookstore]…”

Not Taking Bookings Off The Clock

, , | Right | November 7, 2018

(Our bookstore has several locations. I used to work in a mall in my hometown, but for about four months I have been working in our store in the next town over. I am shopping in the mall, and I wait in line in a store that’s not too far from the bookstore.)

Customer: *in line behind me* “Excuse me. Do you carry [Series of Books] at [Bookstore]?”

Me: *a bit confused, as I don’t know her* “Uh, yes. We do.”

Customer: “Great. Do you have [Title]?”

Me: “I’m sorry. I really don’t know. I work at a different location now, so I don’t know the stock of this location.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought you knew. I will call them when I get home, and ask.”

Me: “All right.”

(I just thought, “…OR you could just go and have a look.”)

Use Bugs To Bug Kids

, , , , , | Right | November 5, 2018

(My store has baskets of candy placed on the register counter for associates to suggestive-sell to customers. I see a small child nearly tipping the basket over trying to see what is inside.)

Me: “You want to know what’s in that basket?”

Little Girl: *nods*

Me: “Spiders.”

Little Girl: *jumps back* “Ew!”

Nearby Coworker: “I am never letting you near my kids!”

(The little girl’s mom thought it was funny, though.)

Unfiltered Story #124772

, | Unfiltered | November 4, 2018

I work as a SME/Supervisor in a Bulgarian call center and most of my agents are local and have sometimes difficulties in the English language. I was monitoring some chats when I saw this:

Customer: I am having a problem with one of my orders.

Agent: We are sorry to hear about your order issues, Could you please provide me with your order number?

Customer: (provides order number).

Agent: Could you please bare with me for a moment while I check your account?

Customer: No problem dear, I will take off my clothes for you. Will you do the same?

Agent: (confused). What do you mean?

Customer: I think you meant bear with me 🙂

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