Read My Mood

, , , | Romantic | June 21, 2018

(My boyfriend and I are wandering around a bookstore while I try to find a new summer reading book. Note: I have a lisp that I can usually hide, but it has been really bad today.)

Me: “I can barely speak today.”

Boyfriend: “That sucks; can you see well enough to read, at least?”

Me: “My point exactly.”

Your Argument Holds Too Much Water

, , | Right | June 19, 2018

(A customer and her husband approach me as I’m standing at one of the store’s employee computers. She says she’s looking for a certain book.)

Customer: “It has the word ‘water’ in the title. Can you look it up for me?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Is ‘water’ part of the title or the whole title?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay. Do you know the author?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay. Is the book fiction or nonfiction?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay. What’s it about?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Um… Ma’am, I really can’t find a book based on one word and no description.”

Customer’s Husband: “I told her that.”

Customer: “Hush! I’m sure she can just type ‘water’ in for the title and it will pop right up.” *looks at me* “Try it.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I type “water” into the title search and hit enter. I show the customer the search results.)

Customer: “Hm… None of these look right. Is this all?”

Me: “Ma’am, those are the first twenty results.”

Customer: “Oh. How many results are there?”

(I pointed to the screen to show her. There were over 10,000 results. She stared at the computer for a while and then calmly turned and walked away. Her husband followed her, laughing.)

Sometimes Life Sends You A Win – Literature-ly

, , , | Hopeless | June 13, 2018

Money was fairly tight when I graduated from college. I always had some food at home and never missed rent and bills, but other luxuries weren’t always a possibility. One particularly tight period I went to the local bookshop to see what kind of general-purpose traditional cookbooks they had for when I had some spare cash, since the charity shops didn’t have what I had in mind. Just as I got up the steps to the cooking section, a staff member asked if I wanted to join in a promotional event for their anniversary — so I ended up playing Pass The Parcel with several kids and their parents.

The game went as it usually does, until the music stopped when I was holding a fairly large parcel. I quickly passed it to the little girl beside me, who opened a really nice [Major Animation Company] storybook that I’d have loved at her age and she seemed delighted with.

The game kept going on, until the music stopped while I was holding a much smaller parcel with a lot less wiggle room to pass it on. I opened it to find a gift card! Someone up there liked me that day, since I got my cookbook and have made some big advancements in my cooking since — even sharing some of the recipes from it when people particularly liked them.

Double Standards Of Ignorance

, , , , | Right | June 11, 2018

(I work in a bookstore. I’m working the information desk with my male coworker — I’m female. He’s on the phone when an older gentleman walks up to the desk.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d rather wait until he’s done and ask him.” *gestures to my coworker*

Me: “All right, but it might be a bit of a wait. Are you sure I can’t at least get you started?”

Customer: *sneering* “I doubt it, but all right.”

(He then proceeds to explain that he has only the vaguest notion of what the book is about, doesn’t know the title or the author, and can’t give me much to go on. At the time, we don’t have access to the Internet on our computers, just our inventory, so unless we are familiar with the book the customer is describing, it will be a miracle to find it.)

Me: *after searching every which way I can think of in our inventory, spending a good five minutes trying to tease more out of him* “I’m terribly, sorry, sir, but with the limited information you’ve given me, I’m afraid I just can’t find the book you’re looking for. Would it be possible for you to get the title or the author? You can always call us if you’d rather not make another trip here.”

Customer: *smirking now* “See, I knew you’d be no help. I’ll just wait for him.”

Me: “That’s fine, sir.”

(My coworker gets off the phone and the old man goes over to him and gives him the same limited information he gave me.)

Coworker: *shrugging* “No clue what you’re talking about. We can’t find it if you don’t give us the title or something.”

Customer: “That’s quite all right, son. Thank you for your help.”

Me: *speechless*

Need To Lawyer Up For The Bookstore These Days

, , , , | | Right | June 9, 2018

(We have just had two of our busiest days of the year in our academic bookstore; it’s as if two Black Fridays happened back to back. We’re also short-staffed as a few people called out sick. It is 8:50 pm and we close at 9:00 pm. All is finally quiet and we’re trying to clean up, when I hear a coworker talking to a customer at the returns desk.)

Customer: “What do you mean, you’re out of the book for my class?”

Coworker: “We had several hundred customers today, so I’m sorry, but we did run out.”

Customer: “That is ridiculous!” *grabs a book with a similar name* “Is this my book?”

Coworker: “I’ll check.”

(He comes over to me and we check the course listing; it isn’t her book. It’s a supplement to the other section’s book. I tell him to have her place an order, and that we will get the book back in stock. He goes to tell her, and then she comes over to me.)

Customer: “Why do I have to order my book? Why would you just collect part of the book? What kind of a business is this?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s been very busy.”

Customer: “I’m the only one here! You lie!”

Me: “No, ma’am, it was very busy, but you can place a web order—”

Customer: “I don’t care! What do you mean, I have to do a web order?! You order it for me!”

Me: “We will, but you have to do a web order to reserve it.”

(She demands we do a special in-store order, which is only for people with financial aid for their course books.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you have to do a web order.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! You make such a big deal out of answering the phone—” *she’s there in person* “—and you collect incomplete books and now you’re trying to hurry me out because you close too early!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we do close at nine pm, which is in two minutes.”

Customer: “Nine pm is too early! You have to understand, we are law students! We are in class until nine pm! And we have to get here at two pm to get parking!”

(We’re a city campus, it’s mostly street parking and as the bookstore, we have nothing to do with this.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry about that, but I cannot change our hours.”

Customer: “Stop yelling! You are being so rude and this is a terrible business!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not yelling, but it is now nine pm, so have to ask you to leave if you continue to behave like this.”

Customer: “I am writing a formal complaint. I want all your personal details!”

Me: “My name is [First Name].”

Customer: “And what is your last name, and your address and phone number?”

Me: “I’m not giving you my last name. That is personal. The address and phone is [store info].”

Customer: “Argh! That isn’t what I asked for!”

(She finally flounced out, but not before telling another coworker that “that woman over there is mean and rude!”)

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