I’m working in a very busy bookstore on a Saturday. A teenage girl is working her way through the fiction section while her bored-looking mother is following behind.

Mother: “Are you going to buy all of those?!”

Teenager: “It’s my birthday money; I can spend it on what I want.”

Mother: “You can’t get some new clothes?”

Teenager: “I might get a comfy sweater to wear for winter.”

Mother: “Ugh…”

The mother looks at me, hoping to find some support.

Mother: “Do people even like books?!”

Me: “Uh… ma’am? It’s pretty crowded in here.”

Mother: “So?”

Me: “So… that would imply that yes, people do like books.”

Mother: *Sighs.* “Do you sell magazines?”

Me: “We do, closer to the front, near the registers.”

Mother: *To her daughter.* “I’ll be waiting up front near the register. Try not to buy the whole store.”

The mother wanders off to the front, and the daughter gives me an apologetic look.

Teenager: “Sorry about her.”

Me: “Don’t be. Not everyone is a reader.”

Teenager: “Yeah, but she’d rather I spend all my birthday money on clothes and makeup and try to be pretty.”

Me: “I overheard you say you would get a sweater?”

Teenager: “Yup, something comfortable to read in!”

She checked out with fifteen books. The cashier gave her a sneaky staff discount, so I’m sure she had enough birthday money left to get a comfy reading sweater…

Years ago, I worked at a now-defunct book and movie store (Media Play) as a backup cashier in the book section. One day, the wife of a local politician comes in with a friend and their children.

The women browse elsewhere while their children tear through the kids’ section, pulling books from the shelves, throwing them on the floor, and ripping several badly enough that we can no longer sell them.

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am? Could you please ask the children to put the books back on the shelves when they’re finished?”

She barely acknowledges me. A little later, my manager pulls me aside.

Manager: “Why did you say that to her?”

Me: “Because her children are destroying the book section.”

Manager: “You can’t speak to her like that. Her husband is a local politician. We can’t afford to offend her.”

Me: “Are you going to complete the paperwork for all the books they’ve damaged so badly that we can’t resell them?”

Manager: “No.”

Me: “Are you going to spend the next hour putting the entire children’s section back together?”

Manager: “No. That’s your job.”

Me: “So, you won’t prevent the damage, confront the customer, or clean it up. Busy day for you.”

My manager was about to raise his voice at me, but the women glared in our direction, one of them going, “Shush!”, which caused my manager to glare at me but back off.

When I had to fill out the damage reports for the books, I made sure I wrote down exactly why and what the manager said. I did that for all of them and submitted the damage reports directly to the store manager, going over my manager’s head.

I heard that the store manager gave my manager a stern talking-to and sent the bill for the damaged books to the politician’s office. They paid for them via a personal letter from the politician himself, apologizing for his wife’s bad behavior and doing some serious damage control.

One of our regular trouble customers walks in, and I start to tail her. I’ve been given permission to be blunt with her to show we’re not messing around.

Customer: *Holding a book.* “Can I use your photocopier?”

Me: “No, you cannot photocopy the books we are trying to sell you.”

Customer: “I just want to photocopy enough to see if I like it.”

Me: “That’s a twenty-page children’s picture book about a hungry caterpillar.”

Customer: “Look at it this way: this means you can let me read the book but keep this copy here for someone who wants to buy it!”

Me: “You must be very fit to be able to jump through all those hoops. No, you cannot use the photocopier. Go to the library.”

Customer: “I don’t like it there! They make you give the books back!”

Caller: “I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Then you’ve called the right place!”

Caller: “I don’t know the title or author, but I know it costs $9.95. Can you pull up all the books that are that price and read the list off to me?”

Me: “I can’t really do that.”

Caller: “You can’t search by price?”

Me: “I can, but that list will be so long that by the time I’ve finished reading it inflation would have increased all the prices…”

Customer: “Can you help me? I’m looking for alternative science books?”

Me: “Maybe you can tell me what you’re specifically looking for?”

Customer: “Flat Earth.”

Me: “Okay, so that would fall under conspiracies and—”

Customer: “—No! You’re just like the other stores! Take me seriously! I want books that take the subject seriously!”

Me: “Best I can offer are the Discworld books.”

Customer: “Where would I find those?”

His face when I told him “Fantasy Fiction” was something…