There’s A Truly Terrible Place In Hell For People Like This

, , , , , | Learning | May 22, 2021

When I was young, I was pretty well known as a smart kid with a smart mouth. I was also known as the super short girl who always had a book. Luckily, my class was pretty nice — we didn’t have nearly as many bullying problems as other grades — because I would’ve been an extremely easy target. But whenever someone did pick on me, it made my blood boil.

Toward the end of middle school, I was in the last book of a series I’d been reading for several months. A boy I didn’t talk to all that often walked up to where I was reading at my desk.

Boy: “What are you reading?”

Me: “[Book].”

Boy: “Have you read it before?”

Me: “No, this is my first time!”

Boy: “[Favorite Character] dies.”

My little eighth-grade self was ready for murder. Sadly, he was correct, and my favorite character died, but he was later granted his life back. For the rest of the year, I used a cloth cover on all of my library books so the boy wouldn’t be able to spoil them for me again.

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Always Finding The Upside

, , , , , | Related | April 30, 2021

I’m both an author and a big nerd; therefore, it’s probably not a surprise that I’m always trying to get my kids to read. Both are reasonably accepting of my enthusiasm for the written word but would much rather be on the computer. The other day, I brought home a small stack of books I thought my eight-year-old might like.

Daughter: “Oh, thanks, Mom! I love books. They’re good for when I have no electronics privileges because they’re just like phones except you can only do one thing on them: read.”

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Depressing Little Fires Everywhere

, , , , , | Right | April 22, 2021

A customer comes up with “They Both Die at the End” by Adam Silvera. 

Customer: “What’s this book about? Is it the same as the new TV show?”

I explain the plot.

Customer: “It sounds depressing. I don’t think you should stock this anymore.”

Me: “Well, it’s not up to me; it’s up to my boss. I read it myself and there are some sad parts, but overall, it’s a good book.”

Customer: “I still don’t like it. I wouldn’t approve of my daughter reading this, anyway.”

Me: “That’s completely up to you.”

Customer: “Yeah, I don’t know why she likes all these teen books. She just graduated college. She should be reading authors like Judy Blume or that one author with the book about fires. The one with the Asian name.”

She set down the book on the counter and purchased some romance novels.

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Challenge Accepted

, , , , , | Right | March 28, 2021

I work at a chain bookstore in New Zealand and have an insanely good ability to find things with very little information. A guy comes in with his friend and I ask them if they need some help.

Customer: “I’m looking for a cookbook by an Australian author that’s around $150.”

Customer’s Friend: “Dude, you have not given her enough information. She will never find it.”

Me: “I accept that challenge.”

Less than thirty seconds later:

Me: “Is it The Cook’s Companion by Stephanie Alexander?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “We don’t have it, sorry. It’s not so easy to get, but it is available on our website; it comes from overseas.”

Customer’s Friend: “S***, you’re good.”

Customer: “Never doubt these people, man.”

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The Book Is Blue And It’s Blue On De Ting

, , , , | Right | March 24, 2021

I’m a librarian.

Customer: “I need a book with a blue cover.”

Me: “Okay. Do you know the author or the title?”

Customer: “I forgot. My daughter read it, and she said that I should.”

Me: “Would it happen to be Daughter Of Smoke And Bone, by Laini Taylor? That’s really popular right now.”

Customer: “That’s it! That’s the one!”

I found it in the system and directed the patron to the right section.

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