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Knocked It Before He Thai’d It

, , , , | Right | November 22, 2010

(Our store has a hot lunch station, which includes soup made in-house.)

Customer: “Is there a schedule for the soups? Like, is it the same thing week after week?”

Me: “It is right here.” *pointing to this month’s soup menu*

Customer: “It seems like the soups lately have all been kind of, well, leftish fringe. All red lentils and stuff.”

(He scrutinizes the menu, muttering to himself.)

Customer: “Ha! ‘German Sausage and Potato.’ That’s normal. Who knows what the h*** is in ‘Thai Curry.’”

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South Of The Border Of Intelligence

, , , , | Right | November 11, 2010

(I’ve just answered a customer’s question in Spanish. Another customer has apparently heard it.)

Customer: “Wow, you don’t even look Mexican!

Me: “Well, that’s because I’m not.”

Customer: “But you just talked to that woman in Spanish!”

Me: “My father is Puerto Rican, so I’m pretty fluent.”

Customer: “You’re not Mexican?”

Me: “No. I’m American. Shall we go ahead with your transaction?”

Customer: “Wow. Your English is excellent. No trace of a Mexican accent.”

Me: *jokingly* “Well, it’s pretty hard to have a Mexican accent if you’ve never been to Mexico.”

Customer: *winking* “Right.” *looks around* “Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”


This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

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Pride Goeth Before A Deal

, , , , , , | Right | November 9, 2010

(I work at a call center in Canada dealing with American cell customers. This is a call from a customer in Seattle.)

Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Does your company outsource to India?”

Me: “I don’t know for sure, but I know it does hire companies out of the USA.”

Caller: “I’d like to cancel my service, then.”

Me: “I can do that for you. May I ask why you’d like to cancel?”

Caller: “I don’t support companies that don’t support America. If they’re hiring out of America, then I don’t want to support them.”

Me: “All right, I’ll process that cancellation for you.”

Caller: “Am I calling to India?!”

Me: “No. I’m actually in Canada.”

Caller: “Oh, I love Canada! I do all my shopping there. Everything is so much cheaper!”

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Bread And Prejudice

, , , | Right | September 26, 2010

Customer: “Can I have a ham and cheese sandwich, please?”

Me: “Would you like that on white or brown bread?”

Customer: “I don’t mind. I’m not prejudiced.”

Me: “You’re not… prejudiced?”

Customer: “Not at all, sure the other day I ate some ‘properdoms’!” (That’s how she pronounced papadums – the flat crunchy bread you get in Indian restaurants.) “They were lovely.”

Me: “Oh, good. Now what type of bread would you like?”

(At this point a woman of another ethnicity that had been served by my coworker leaves. Suddenly, this customer becomes visibly relieved.)

Customer: “Give me some good, God-fearing white bread!”


This story is part of our India roundup!

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Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | September 26, 2010

(I’m an Asian Spanish/English interpreter in charge of taking care of our Spanish speaking customers. I approach a Mexican customer.)

Me: “Good afternoon. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, my god, you speak Spanish!”

Me: “Yes, I do. It’s a service provided by our store for your convenience. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “But you’re Chinese!”

Me: “I’m actually Korean-born and raised in Argentina, so it’s easier for me to speak in Spanish.”

Customer: “That’s not possible! Chinese people only speak Chinese!”

Me: “I assure you I’m not Chinese and cannot speak Chinese at all.”

Customer: “But… but Chinese people should speak Chinese!”


This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

Read the next Confused-With-Spanish roundup story!

Read the Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

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