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Foot In Mouth 101

, , , , | Learning | November 16, 2012

(Note: I am a criminal justice major at a college in rural Virginia. The head of our department is notoriously sexist and racist but nothing has even been done about various claims filed against him. I see him walking by with a family, giving a tour.)

Department Head: “Oh, and as you can see, we also promote diversity on our campus by giving scholarships to a few less privileged students. Most of them, like these ladies, are in the nursing program because it’s fairly easy and there is a thriving work force.”

(He gestures at two female African-American students. Both are wearing business attire. One of the women, obviously having overheard him, calmly walks over.)

Female Student: “Hello, [Head of Department], I see you are leading a tour around campus. My name is Jessica [Last Name of Major University Benefactor], granddaughter of [Major University Benefactor]. I am a criminal justice major and have been in your classes the past two terms. I used to think you ignored me because the classes were so large and I am still only in my second year, but now I realize you are a racist, sexist chauvinist. I wish you the best of luck in your future job because once I speak with [Major University Benefactor], you will be needing a new one.”

(She then walked away with her friend. Sure enough, the next term we had a new department head — a former US Congresswoman!)

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This “Real Man” Requires A Substitute

, , , , , , | Right | November 1, 2012

(I’ve just started a new job after having a baby a few months back. I’m a single mother. I am processing my first refund-to-gift-card transaction. I’m having a little bit of trouble with it, so I ask if they would mind if I called my manager.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This is my first time doing this. Would you mind if I phoned my manager to ask him how it’s done?”

Customer: “Go figure! That’s what happens when we start hiring women! They can’t do anything right, can they? You ought to be barefoot pregnant in the kitchen, not taking jobs from hardworking men.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. I actually just started this job after having a baby.”

Customer: “So, you’re leaving a real man at home to look after your child while you take money for yourself?”

Me: *appalled* “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I’m just going to call my manager to ask him how the refund is done.”

Customer: “Go home to your b*****d baby! Leave the jobs to real men!”

(At this point, a tall, metal-ead-looking man with long hair, piercings, and ripped jeans approaches the counter behind the man. I recognize him as a teacher who substituted for some classes when I was in school. He speaks up.)

Substitute Teacher: “If all the jobs are for hardworking men, what the h*** are you doing here at two in the afternoon instead of working?”

(The customer turned white at the sight of him, gathered up his items, and ran off without getting his refund. I thanked the substitute with my first ever gift card transaction, and he took me out to dinner. He, my baby, and I have been a family ever since!)


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A Few Petals Short Of A Flower

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2012

(I work in Parks and Recreation, and our very public number means that we get a lot of interesting phone calls. An older woman calls me. Please note that it takes her at least a minute to say each sentence.)

Me: “Parks and Rec, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to give you some ideas about going green.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what can I do for you?”

Caller: “Petunias. The city needs more petunias. Petunias everywhere.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, that sounds like a great idea. Our horticulturists are always looking for feedback from citizens.”

Caller: “I’m not done. I want every household to get a basket of petunias, and if they let them die we need to punish them.”

Me: “Um—”

Caller: “We can make the ethnics do it. It will create responsibility for the drug-heads and the gangster children.”

Me: “Um, ma’am, if I can just—”

Caller: “The petunias need to be protected. We need to have petunia gardens everywhere to create responsibility! It wouldn’t be hard, just go down to the prisons and make the ethnics—”

Me: “Okay! Thanks for calling! Goodbye!”


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So Long, Sexism, Part 2

, | Right | October 7, 2012

So Long, Sexism, Part 2! This week, we feature another five stories of employees dealing with (and often overcoming) sexist remarks from customers! Visit So Long, Sexism, Part 1.

  1. Hung Up On Gender (2,044 thumbs up)
    This sexist video game store customer had better phone it in, because female employees are here to stay!
  2. Ready, Aim, Equality (1,777 thumbs up)
    Misogynists don’t have a “shot” of getting a firearm from this gun store.
  3. Equality Is Worth Fighting For (1,343 thumbs up)
    She may be petite, but this boxing supervisor will take the fight to any man!
  4. Lighten My Load, Moisten My Road (1,659 thumbs up)
    A female staff who doesn’t mind carrying her own weight? Not if this customer has anything to slosh about it…
  5. Your Own Worst Critic (1,299 thumbs up)
    A badly parked car drives home the point that sometimes sexism starts at home!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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Weekly Roundup: Bigots Are Boneheads!

, | Right | September 16, 2012

Bigots Are Boneheads! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about bigoted customers!

  1. Going Bananas (5,891 thumbs up)
    A sexist customer complaining about neutering gets neutered himself!
  2. A War Unwon (3,705 thumbs up)
    A marine who fought abroad unfortunately learns that there are enemies at home, too.
  3. Time To Moooove To Another Cowllege (3,720 thumbs up)
    Move over, racial and religious discrimination: introducing FARM discrimination!
  4. So Pho, So Crazy (3,932 thumbs up)
    A Vietnamese supermarket employee has a run-in with a genocidal customer.
  5. Who Needs History When You Have Hollywood (3,345 thumbs up)
    History is an absolute mystery for this boneheaded tourist!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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