Should Éire On The Side Of Caution

, , , , , | Right | November 13, 2017

Customer: “So, you sound English; that’s rare these days.”

Me: *sitting there, very white, and with alarm bells sounding* “Um, yes. I was born and raised here.”

Customer: “You can never tell whether someone is really English.”

Me: “Well, if we are being fully accurate, I am ethnically Irish.”

Customer: “Well, Ireland’s part of England, anyway.”

Me: “I wouldn’t say that to someone not being paid to sit quietly.”

Unfiltered Story #95730

, | Unfiltered | September 29, 2017

(I was working in a supermarket, straightening out some of the seasonal displays when a woman comes up to me. She has a trolley full of shopping, but it’s all in bags so she has probably already paid for it.)

Customer: “Can you carry my shopping home for me? I asked at the till but the idiot on there didn’t seem to understand what I was asking. I don’t know why you hire those foreigners if they can’t speak a word of English.”

Me: *Trying my best to smile politely despite her comment* “Oh, we don’t carry shopping to a customer’s home. We can help you take it to your car-”

Customer: “I don’t have a car.”

Me: “Oh well there’s nothing I can do, I’m afraid. Where do you live? I’m fairly familiar with the bus schedule – plus several buses stop at the stand just outside. I’ll bet one of them goes to where you live. I could even walk with you to the stand and take a look at the timetable. They’ve got one posted up there.”

Customer: “No! I want somebody to carry my shopping. Why don’t you understand?”

Me: “I do understand what you are asking, madam, I just can’t do it. Nobody in this store is going to be able to help you carry your shopping home.”

Customer: “This isn’t good enough! I want to see your manager!”

*I put a call for a manager and wait with the customer for one to arrive. As we wait the customer is rambling about how stupid everyone is. Finally the manager arrives.*

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Your staff are stupid. I just want somebody to carry my shopping for me.”

Manager: “Um … okay. We can carry your shopping to your car-”

Customer: “No! I want somebody to carry it to [gives her address which will easily take 15-20 minutes to walk there].”

Manager: “So you want one of our staff to carry your shopping to your house?”

Customer: “Yes! Why can’t your idiot staff understand that?”

Manager: “Madam, we can’t do that. It’s against company policy. Staff can help carry shopping to your car, but not all that way. If you like, you can use our phone to call a taxi. Or there’s a bus stop just there, the [bus number] stops where you live.”

Customer: “But I don’t WANT to get a bus or a taxi. I’ve spent £60 at your shop! £60! I don’t have enough money left for a bus or a taxi. It’s too heavy to carry. You had better find somebody to carry my shopping NOW. I am a paying customer.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, madam, but as I explained, none of our staff will be able to walk your food home. I’ll tell you what, I’ll let you borrow the trolley – take it home and bring it back tomorrow, or the next time you’re in.”

Customer: “What?! But I’ll look stupid pushing a trolley through town! No! Carry my shopping home for me NOW!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen. Is there a friend or family member you could get in touch with? You can use our phone.”

Customer: “NO! I just want my food home now. You should carry it! It’s too heavy!”

Manager: “I’m sorry but I’ve given you your options. Nobody is going to carry your shopping home for you.”

Customer: “Do you know I’ve spent lots of money here today? Over £60! £60! I’ll bet no other customer has spent that much in your store today.”

Manager: “Madam, even if you spent £500, our staff would still not carry your shopping home. It’s against our health and safety policy and it is for insurance reasons. Now, do you want to use our phone to call somebody, or borrow the trolley?”

Customer: “You’re all terrible people – making a disabled woman like me carry her shopping home. I’m going to tell everyone you made a disabled woman carry all this shopping home!

*The woman grabbed her bags out of the trolley and makes her way out of the store.*

(The customer came storming in the next day saying she threw her back out because we refused to carry her shopping home and we had made her ‘more disabled’. She threatened to sue us. We gave her the details for our legal department at head office but we never heard anything more about the matter.)

Unfiltered Story #95728

, | Unfiltered | September 29, 2017

(I used to work for an energy supplier. Because I work in arrears, I am used to abusive calls but one day I have one that takes the cake. A colleague comes to me saying he has a woman on the phone asking for me by name claiming I sent an inappropriate letter. We get a lot of customers who don’t like being told they owe money. Thinking this is just such a case, I tell him to put the caller through.)

Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [my name]. I understand you have a query about a letter?”

Customer: “You’re [my name]?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Customer: “Who in the h*ll do you think you are sending my husband letters?”

Me: “The letter you received was addressed to your husband?”

Customer: “That’s right. I’m his wife.”

Me: “I may not be able to talk to you unless I have his permission. Is he there with you? Or are you named on the-”

Customer: “Now you listen here, b*tch. How dare you write to my husband you wh*re! You think you’re the first woman I’ve chased away? You stay the h*ll away from my husband you filthy wh*re. He’s MY husband, not yours.”

Me: “You’ve called a utility company. Any letter sent out would have been in regards to his electricity account and would in no way be personal. Now please stop using that language or I will be forced to terminate the call.”

Customer: “Yeah well if this is a utility company why did you sign the letter?”

Me: “Because I work for the company. Now, what does the letter say? Does it have an account number on it?”

Customer: “You wrote it. You tell me.”

Me: “Madam, I write to countless customers every day. Now what does the letter say?”

Customer: “Well that just makes you a filthy sl*t. Stop writing letters to my husband! You f*ck your own husband and leave mine alone.”

Me: “Madam, this is your final warning.”

Customer: “B*tch you think you can take me? I’ll tear your f*cking wh*re face off! Leave my husband the f*ck alone, stop sending him dirty letters, stop calling him – I don’t ever want to see your name again, you hear me [my name]?”

*As per our policy I advise the customer that due to her language and threats I am terminating the call. She screams over me the whole time, continuing to make threats until I hang up. It’s worth noting that the only letters that have agent names rather than manager names signed on them are letters confirming payment plans we’ve set up, and they’re a mail-merge letter – we don’t actually write them.*

Unfiltered Story #94379

, , | Unfiltered | September 21, 2017

(I was working in a supermarket, straightening out some of the seasonal displays when a woman comes up to me. She has a trolley full of shopping, but it’s all in bags so she has probably already paid for it.)

Customer: “Can you carry my shopping home for me? I asked at the till but the idiot on there didn’t seem to understand what I was asking. I don’t know why you hire those foreigners if they can’t speak a word of English.”

Me: *Trying my best to smile politely despite her comment* “Oh, we don’t carry shopping to a customer’s home. We can help you take it to your car-”

Customer: “I don’t have a car.”

Me: “Oh well there’s nothing I can do, I’m afraid. Where do you live? I’m fairly familiar with the bus schedule – plus several buses stop at the stand just outside. I’ll bet one of them goes to where you live. I could even walk with you to the stand and take a look at the timetable. They’ve got one posted up there.”

Customer: “No! I want somebody to carry my shopping. Why don’t you understand?”

Me: “I do understand what you are asking, madam, I just can’t do it. Nobody in this store is going to be able to help you carry your shopping home.”

Customer: “This isn’t good enough! I want to see your manager!”

*I put a call for a manager and wait with the customer for one to arrive. As we wait the customer is rambling about how stupid everyone is. Finally the manager arrives.*

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Your staff are stupid. I just want somebody to carry my shopping for me.”

Manager: “Um … okay. We can carry your shopping to your car-”

Customer: “No! I want somebody to carry it to [gives her address which will easily take 15-20 minutes to walk there].”

Manager: “So you want one of our staff to carry your shopping to your house?”

Customer: “Yes! Why can’t your idiot staff understand that?”

Manager: “Madam, we can’t do that. It’s against company policy. Staff can help carry shopping to your car, but not all that way. If you like, you can use our phone to call a taxi. Or there’s a bus stop just there, the [bus number] stops where you live.”

Customer: “But I don’t WANT to get a bus or a taxi. I’ve spent £60 at your shop! £60! I don’t have enough money left for a bus or a taxi. It’s too heavy to carry. You had better find somebody to carry my shopping NOW. I am a paying customer.”

Manager: “I’m sorry, madam, but as I explained, none of our staff will be able to walk your food home. I’ll tell you what, I’ll let you borrow the trolley – take it home and bring it back tomorrow, or the next time you’re in.”

Customer: “What?! But I’ll look stupid pushing a trolley through town! No! Carry my shopping home for me NOW!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen. Is there a friend or family member you could get in touch with? You can use our phone.”

Customer: “NO! I just want my food home now. You should carry it! It’s too heavy!”

Manager: “I’m sorry but I’ve given you your options. Nobody is going to carry your shopping home for you.”

Customer: “Do you know I’ve spent lots of money here today? Over £60! £60! I’ll bet no other customer has spent that much in your store today.”

Manager: “Madam, even if you spent £500, our staff would still not carry your shopping home. It’s against our health and safety policy and it is for insurance reasons. Now, do you want to use our phone to call somebody, or borrow the trolley?”

Customer: “You’re all terrible people – making a disabled woman like me carry her shopping home. I’m going to tell everyone you made a disabled woman carry all this shopping home!

*The woman grabbed her bags out of the trolley and makes her way out of the store.*

(The customer came storming in the next day saying she threw her back out because we refused to carry her shopping home and we had made her ‘more disabled’. She threatened to sue us. We gave her the details for our legal department at head office but we never heard anything more about the matter.)

Unfiltered Story #94377

, , | Unfiltered | September 21, 2017

(I used to work for an energy supplier. Because I work in arrears, I am used to abusive calls but one day I have one that takes the cake. A colleague comes to me saying he has a woman on the phone asking for me by name claiming I sent an inappropriate letter. We get a lot of customers who don’t like being told they owe money. Thinking this is just such a case, I tell him to put the caller through.)

Me: “Hello, you’re speaking to [my name]. I understand you have a query about a letter?”

Customer: “You’re [my name]?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Customer: “Who in the h*ll do you think you are sending my husband letters?”

Me: “The letter you received was addressed to your husband?”

Customer: “That’s right. I’m his wife.”

Me: “I may not be able to talk to you unless I have his permission. Is he there with you? Or are you named on the-”

Customer: “Now you listen here, b*tch. How dare you write to my husband you wh*re! You think you’re the first woman I’ve chased away? You stay the h*ll away from my husband you filthy wh*re. He’s MY husband, not yours.”

Me: “You’ve called a utility company. Any letter sent out would have been in regards to his electricity account and would in no way be personal. Now please stop using that language or I will be forced to terminate the call.”

Customer: “Yeah well if this is a utility company why did you sign the letter?”

Me: “Because I work for the company. Now, what does the letter say? Does it have an account number on it?”

Customer: “You wrote it. You tell me.”

Me: “Madam, I write to countless customers every day. Now what does the letter say?”

Customer: “Well that just makes you a filthy sl*t. Stop writing letters to my husband! You f*ck your own husband and leave mine alone.”

Me: “Madam, this is your final warning.”

Customer: “B*tch you think you can take me? I’ll tear your f*cking wh*re face off! Leave my husband the f*ck alone, stop sending him dirty letters, stop calling him – I don’t ever want to see your name again, you hear me [my name]?”

*As per our policy I advise the customer that due to her language and threats I am terminating the call. She screams over me the whole time, continuing to make threats until I hang up. It’s worth noting that the only letters that have agent names rather than manager names signed on them are letters confirming payment plans we’ve set up, and they’re a mail-merge letter – we don’t actually write them.*

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