Is This The Dog Park From Night Vale?

, , , , , , , | Right | October 15, 2019

I decide to take a trip to the dog park with my boyfriend, his brother, and our dogs. As we get there, we enter the small dog section, since our dogs are fairly small.

We’re just walking around looking at other dogs playing with each other when, all of a sudden, we hear a very loud scream from some guy in the big dog section. Apparently, he is fighting with another dog owner, since her dog has been trying to get it on with multiple dogs in the big dog section.

This argument goes on for a while and each party seems to be saying some messed up s*** towards each other. I turn around and see all the owners from the small dog section huddling towards the gate like a flock of pigeons looking over to see what the two are fighting about.

This fight legit goes on for fifteen minutes and it goes nowhere, until I hear one elderly man go over to his other friend that’s still invested in the people fighting and tells him that this is such bulls*** and a waste of time, and there are more exciting things in life. Then, he says, “Here, let me give you some Viagra.”

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Creating A Cycle Of Laughter

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 12, 2019

(I am going for a walk in the park near my home. Due to the lovely day, there are a lot of cyclists who will generally warn you when they are approaching. One cyclist gives me a heads up.)

Cyclist: “To your left. You’re gonna smile!”

(Sure enough, after moving to the side for her and getting a closer look, I notice that sharing her seat is a life-sized plastic skeleton. Sitting back-to-back with that skeleton is another skeleton. This one is wearing overalls and a straw hat and “playing” a banjo. I am highly amused by this and do indeed get a laugh out of it.)

Cyclist: “Told you!”

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Doesn’t Understand Whose Lifetime It’s For

, , , , , | Right | September 20, 2019

(I work summers in a historical park — basically a huge outdoor museum. Decades ago, some of the original donors to the park were issued lifetime passes. I work in the ticket booth at the front of the park, and a woman and her kids arrive with one of these lifetime passes. Not only is she much too young to have been issued one of these passes, but the pass is in a man’s name.)

Customer: “This pass gives us free family admission, right?”

Me: “Is the pass holder with you today?”

Customer: “I’m the pass holder.”

Me: “Is this your name on the pass?”

Customer: “No, that’s my father’s name. But he left the pass to me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but this pass is only valid if the pass holder is here with you.”

Customer: “He died last year.”

Me: “I’m so sorry.”

Customer: “But he left me this pass.”

Me: “I’m afraid they don’t really work that way. If your father has passed away, you won’t be able to use his pass.”

Customer: “But it’s a lifetime pass!”

Me: “Right…”

Customer: “It never expires!”

Me: “It never expired during your father’s lifetime. But since he’s passed away…”

Customer: “He left it to me! I can use it!”

Me: “No, I’m afraid these passes can’t be left to other family members.”

Customer: “But it’s a lifetime pass!

(I finally had to get my boss to explain that the Lifetime Pass was only valid during her father’s lifetime. The woman refused to pay admission. She left, still angry that we wouldn’t accept her dead father’s Lifetime Pass.)

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Feel “Free” To Go Aww

, , , , , , | Hopeless | September 17, 2019

(I train seeing-eye dogs and service animals for a living and have for the past ten years. The number of people who ignore a vest on a dog ceased to surprise me many years ago. On this day, I have three six-month-old golden retriever pups with me who are being trained as therapy companion animals — not seeing-eye dogs — so their training is a little different, and it’s not as strict as it is for dogs who need to be alert animals or guide dogs. I’ve taken them down to the dog park for socialising in their little vests that state they’re in training. When we get there, the dog park is mostly empty, save for a young couple in their 20s and their four- or five-year-old daughter. They’re throwing a ball for a chocolate lab puppy around the same age as my trio of loveable idiots, and mine are whining at me because they want to be “freed” to chase the ball. Sticking to their training, they’re sitting at my feet practically vibrating with excitement. The little girl tosses the ball and it rolls within three feet of my pups, who all amp up their whining. The other family’s dog seems to get spooked by mine, so it hangs back, and the little girl comes to retrieve the ball.)

Little Girl: “Oh! Mummy! Puppies!”

(I’m already impressed that she hasn’t barrelled forward to grab at the pups like most kids her age would do; even adults tend to think that because they’re small and cute they are up for grabs. While they all frantically wag their tails at the thought of a new friend, they stay seated. The little girl cocks her head to the side and starts sounding out the letters on their vests.)

Little Girl: “T… tr… tra… Train! Excuse me, are these train dogs?”

(Her parents have come over and we all giggle at her saying “train dogs.”)

Dad: “They say, ‘dog in training,’ sweetie. What does it mean when a doggy has a vest on with words on it?”

Little Girl: *sadly* “To leave them alone because they’re doing a job. I just wanted to look at them; they’re cute.”

(Her own puppy has sidled forward to sniff at mine, who are all ready to explode by this point but are still seated, waiting for the all-clear. The mum calls her dog back and holds his collar, apologising.)

Me: “That’s fantastic! You’re very clever. But guess what? These puppies are learning to be good friends to kids who need to feel safe and loved, so they can play. You ready guys? FREE!”

(The three balls of golden fluff EXPLODED from at my feet. They started running in circles, pawing at the other puppy, yipping excitedly, and licking the little girls’ shoes. Her face was something I’ll remember forever; a kid getting to play in a pile of puppies is something truly magical. She asked lots of questions about different kinds of helper dogs, and promised me she wouldn’t bother any dogs in vests unless their human said it was okay. Her parents thanked me, but I thanked them, as well, as learning to behave around kids is something very important to support dogs and we got in some great practice that day. That kiddo was so great for already knowing what a service animal was. I hope I can meet more like her in the future.)

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Unfiltered Story #162062

, | Unfiltered | September 7, 2019

This happens while I am working over the summer at a historical park. we have signs outside all of our historical sites giving a brief description of the building and I can hear the couple outside reading the sign.
Couple: (from outside) This says it’s the school house.
(couple enters the school)
Woman: So was this the school?
Me: … yes…