Using Alternative Words

, , , , | Right | August 14, 2017

Me: “Can I get you anything?”

Customer: “No, thank you. I was wondering, though, why are there so many alternative couples in here?”

Me: “Alternative?”

Customer: “Well, gay. I don’t like using that word though because it normalises the perverse.”

Me: “I see… Well, this is a gay bar, so that’s why there are so many gay couples.”

Customer: “Oh, an alternative bar! How interesting. Are you alternative?”

Me: “Yes, I’m gay.”

Customer: “How interesting!”

(Other than referring to anything gay as “alternative” she seemed quite pleased with everything and spent most of the evening with us.)

Keeping This Partnership Civil

, , , , | Learning | August 9, 2017

(The year is 2004 and same-sex marriage is a hot topic. For some reason this is discussed in my economics class.)

Teacher: “Banning same sex marriage is not prejudice.”

(Most students let out an audible ‘What?’)

Student #1: “How is banning same-sex marriage not in anyway prejudice? It’s banning a minority from a right the majority has.”

Teacher: “It is not. For example I won’t be allowed to marry a man.”

Student #2: “That is so stupid. You’re already married.”

Teacher: “Yes, but I won’t be able to marry a man. And don’t call me stupid.”

Student #1: *now raising her voice* “You can’t marry a man now because you’re already married. These people are not allowed to marry the people they love but you are because some people a long time ago said so.”

Teacher: “Lower your voice. This discussion is over.”

Student #2: “You brought it up.”

Teacher: “ENOUGH!”

Student #1: *now practically shouting* “NO! You can’t bring this up and not defend what you say. Nothing you said makes any sense. You say the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard and you expect us to not say anything about it.”

Teacher: “Enough. Let’s move on.”

Student #1: “Gladly.”

(She gets up and leaves with Student #2 following behind her.)

Teacher: “Let’s just read for the rest of class.”

(The following week a memo was sent to classes that current events would no longer be discussed during class. Student #1 never came back to that class.)

For Gay Guys It’s Like Christmas In July

, , , | Romantic | August 6, 2017

(My husband is in Washington on business. He doesn’t really get the whole time zones thing, so ends up messaging me and the group chat we are all in at really odd times. I am woken up by a stream of messages he sends us, which are song lyrics.)

Me: “Why are you sending us lyrics?”

Husband: “I’m watching A Christmas Carol!”

Me: “Why? It’s July…”

Husband: “Because this hotel only has porn and this one movie!”

Me: “Then, please watch the porn and let me SLEEP!”

Husband: “I don’t think you want me watching this porn.”

Me: “Why?”

Husband: “It’s all gay. Like, literally every single one.”

Me: “So, there’s a hotel, in Washington, that exclusively provides gay porn? What is [Company] thinking?”

Husband: “Maybe they think I’m unfaithful, or gay?”

Me: “Well, good luck with that!”

(I turn back over and start drifting off. My phone goes off once more and I decide just to check it.)

Brother: *who is gay* “Name and address, please! This hotel sounds hot.”

(Muted for the first time ever, the phone was thrown into the hallway.)

Flagged Another Awesome Reaction

, , , , | Hopeless | August 3, 2017

(I’m a semi-open pansexual female. I don’t hide it, but people usually must ask, or we must be talking about our sexualities. Most times, people don’t believe it’s a real thing, or they just start acting strange around me. But on a few rare occasions, I get reactions like this one, which is still my favorite. My self-esteem is also low, so I don’t take compliments well, and will sometimes actually stutter out a “thank you.”  I just recently got a new tattoo on my forearm, of the word “Ohana” with an arrow through it, and feathers; the feathers have the Pansexual flag (pink, yellow, blue) in a watercolor around them. I am out at the grocery store, a few days after getting it, when a mother and her son stand next to me to get something from the shelves. The little boy sees my tattoo and turns to his mom.)

Little Boy: *whispering to his mother* “Mommy, what’s on that lady’s arm?”

Mother: “That’s a tattoo, like Daddy and I have. If you ask her, she might explain the tattoo, like others do.”

Little Boy: *to me* “What does your tattoo mean?”

Me: *surprised, since most parents try not to mention it* “Well, the word is from one of my favorite movies, from when I was little. The colors are for a flag I use.”

Little Boy: “What’s the flag?”

Me: “Well, you know how your mommy loves your daddy, and is married to him?”

Little Boy: “Yeah.”

Me: “In my case, I can love a boy or a girl, a boy that dresses as a girl or has the body of a girl, or a girl that dresses as a boy, or has the body of a boy. I care more about the heart than the gender of the person.”

Little Boy: *to his mother* “So, she’s like Auntie, and big brother?”

Mother: “Yep, she is. What do you say to her for telling you?”

Little Boy: *to me* “Thank you, and I think you’re really pretty!”

(I have high hopes for that little boy, and his mother, for both of them being so accepting.)

You Came Out But Mum Went Way Out

, , , | Related | August 3, 2017

(I am a fraternal twin. I am a girl, and my brother is a boy. This shouldn’t be important, but for my family, it is. Over the past year or so I have been slowly realising that I am trans and want to start transitioning. My brother already knows, and often calls me by my chosen name in private, and even makes this big deal about changing my name in his phone and sending me screenshots of before and after, all in the middle of a school lesson. I decide to tell my parents. I tell my dad before he goes offshore for work, with the promise that he won’t tell mum. He is fine with it and is happy for me. A week later I tell my mum.)

Me: “Mum, I’ve got something important to tell you. I’m trans, a man, and I want—”

Mum: “Oh, I know.”

Me: “I thought you might. Anyway, I want to start—”

Mum: “I mean, there had to be some reason I gave birth to a SON and DAUGHTER.”

Me: “…right.”

(Bearing in mind my mum is also a fraternal twin, boy and girl, this doesn’t make much sense, and starts to make me wonder if she believes her brother is secretly trans.)

Me: “Anyway, I want to start transitioning.”

Mum: “Oh, of course! Now, names!”

Me: “Yeah, I’ve already chosen—”

Mum: “I think Kris!”

Me: “You want me to have the same name at my brother?”

Mum: “No! Not Chris! Kris! Like Kris Jenner!”

(I suppose in terms of good to bad reactions, it was pretty good, but she’s gone completely insane. She continually calls me Kris, despite repeated attempts for her to accept the name I have chosen, which is really confusing my brother. She has also arranged a family “outing” for me and made an extra special effort to invite her brother, literally letting him pick the day. I’m hoping she doesn’t do anything stupid, but I know in my heart she will.)

Page 1/812345...Last
Next »