Scouting For The Saddest Joke

, , , , , , | Romantic | October 17, 2017

(My wife used to be a Boy Scout and was kicked out at 18 for being gay, before she came to terms with being a woman. So, I am surprised when she comes home with a box of popcorn the Boy Scouts were selling.)

Me: “This is the worst and least original joke, but is Boy Scout popcorn made from real Boy Scouts?”

Wife: “Yeah, it’s made from the gay and trans kids they kick out.”

Me: *pauses* “My joke wasn’t funny, but you didn’t have to make it sad.”

Not Genderalizing The Issue

, , , , | Working | October 12, 2017

(I’m at the checkout of a supermarket.)

Cashier: “Will that be cash or card today, sir— Oh, umm… miss?”

Me: “I— uh, what?”

Cashier: *huffs* “I’m sorry. We’re supporting our manager who’s come out as agender, so we’re not assuming the gender of anyone we serve today to bring attention to the issues of non-binary individuals.”

Me: “That actually sounds quite interesting, but isn’t using female pronouns automatically assuming that my gender is female?”

Cashier: “No, because you’re a guy, so I referred to you as a woman.”

Me: “Aren’t you assuming my gender then, anyway?”

Cashier: *deer in the headlights moment* “OH, MY GOD!”

Me: “Don’t get me wrong; I think what you’re trying to do is a good thing, but it’s more for highlighting transgender issues than issues affecting the wider non-binary community.”

Cashier: *tears forming in her eyes* “I… I don’t know what to say. I’ve messed up. I don’t really understand any of it.”

Me: “I don’t think many out there will hold it against you. Admitting you don’t understand is a big step forward. Maybe ask what pronouns people would like to be referred to as, or just use the neutral ‘they’ and ‘them,’ etc.”

Cashier: “Oh, I will. Thank you. So, umm, what pronouns would you like me to use?”

Me: “Male is fine. I’m agender, too, actually, but I don’t care enough to really bother. I just go with whatever people use for me.”

(Her face lit up and we finished my purchase. It was nice thing to see people trying to bring attention to such issues. It made my week.)

Transitioning To A New Wardrobe

, , , | Hopeless | October 10, 2017

(At my hotel, we occasionally have guests that stay with us for very long stretches of time, usually because of some issue with their homes. One such couple has at this point been staying with us for a few months, and has gotten to know the front desk staff very well. While they are staying with us, a member of our front desk staff officially comes out as transgender, identifying as female, and changes her name to suit. This couple is a bit caught off guard by it, but are very accepting, just like the staff is. One day, when my coworker is off, about a week after her transition, the couple comes up to me at the desk.)

Guest: “Um, hey, [My Name]. I wanted to ask you something.”

Me: “Sure. What’s up?”

Guest: “I don’t want to be presumptuous or offend her or anything, but do you think it would be okay for us to buy [Coworker] some clothes?”

(The guest’s wife and I both look a bit confused.)

Me: “Um… I would ask her that first, but why?”

Guest: “I’ve just noticed that she wears the same thing all the time, and I thought maybe she doesn’t have much to wear.”

(At this point, the penny drops, and the guest’s wife and I both start laughing.)

Guest: “What? What’s funny?”

Guest’s Wife: “You dip! That’s her uniform! All of the girls wear that! Haven’t you noticed [Coworker #2] and [Coworker #3] wear the same thing all the time too?”

Guest: “Well, [My Name] doesn’t wear it!”

Guest’s Wife: “Because she’s the manager!”

(We all had a good laugh about it, and they went on their way, but I thought it was super sweet that he’d offer to support someone like that through their transition, even if his concern was misplaced!)

They Don’t Play For Your Team In This Bar

, , , , , | Romantic | September 20, 2017

(I’m at a gay sports bar. I notice one guy that I think is cute, so I go over to talk.)

Me: “Hey, how’s it going?”

Stranger: “Doing all right.”

Me: “Cool. Enjoying yourself?”

Stranger: “Yeah, but there are a lot of dudes here. Is there a good spot nearby to meet chicks?”

Me: *realization sets in* “You’re not from around here, are you?”

Stranger: “No. Why?”

Potty Training Isn’t The Only Training Required Around Here

, , , , | Working | September 18, 2017

(I am buying baby supplies.)

Cashier: “Wipes, diapers, powder. What does a man need all this for?”

Me: “My daughter isn’t old enough to be potty trained yet.”

Cashier: “Surely it’s a wife’s job to handle the baby. Where’s your wife? Why aren’t you working?”

Me: “He’s at home with our daughter, and I’m on paternity leave.”

Cashier: “He? Your wife is a HE?!”

Me: “My husband is a he.”

(The cashier practically jumped away from me, sneering, and crossed her heart. She then refused to sell me anything, and I asked for a manager. When he came, she spoke directly to him, completely ignoring my existence. After she was finished, the manager “queer high-fived” me and gave me an employee discount. The cashier looked like she was about to collapse and asked to be excused. When I dropped by a few weeks, I was told she decided to leave due to a “conflict of interest”.)

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