She Is Very Pro Noun

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 1, 2019

(I go to a Catholic all-girls private high school. As I’m FTM trans, I can’t be “publically” out without risking expulsion and being forcefully outed to my parents. Despite this, most everyone I’m friends with knows and is cool and respectful about it. In my sophomore year, this happens when I decide to tell one of my newer freshman friends about it.)

Me: “So, my name isn’t actually [Deadname] but [Chosen Name], and I mostly use masculine pronouns.”

(I guess at this point she realizes that she’s been unknowingly misgendering me for the past three or so months we’ve known each other and kind of freaks out.)

Friend: “Oh, OH! I’M SO SORRY, ‘HE.’ I WON’T DO IT AGAIN!”

Me: “Sweetheart, that’s not how pronouns work.”

(Thankfully, she’s learned how to use grammar far more effectively since then!)

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You May Be Questioning But The Phone Knows

, , , , , | Friendly | October 23, 2019

(My best friend is questioning bisexuality. I am asexual. We are both female. This happens over text.)

Friend: “I’m gonna take a shower, babe.”

Friend: “BRB! I SWEAR I TYPED BRB!”

Me: *laughing*

Friend: “Oh, my gosh, even my phone thinks I’m a lesbian!”

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Might Not Be Homophobic, But This Family Has Other Issues

, , , , , , | Related | October 18, 2019

(I came out to my parents a few days ago, and after the advisement of my mum, I had decided not to tell my grandparents just yet. I get a phone call from my grandmother today.)

Grandmother: “You b*****d! You should’ve come out to me first. Your mum’s just tried to get £100 out of me by betting you were gay!” 

(I could hear my mum cackling in the background.)

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You Will A-Dress Me As “Ma’am”

, , , , , , | Right | October 15, 2019

(My friend and I are both transgender. Every month, we go to the theater together, and we always eat at a certain fancy restaurant beforehand. We have a very sweet regular waitress who has addressed us as women from the start. One night, an elderly gentleman at a nearby table calls our waitress over.)

Elderly Man: “You realize that those two are men, right? Why are you calling them ‘ma’am’?”

Waitress: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir.”

Elderly Man: *louder* “They’re men in dresses! They may be queer, but you should still call them ‘sir.’”

Waitress: “They look like ladies to me, sir. And they’ve never told me otherwise.”

(Later:)

Waitress: “So, how is everything, ladies?”

Me: “It’s wonderful, and thank you for what you said to that man.”

Waitress: *blushing* “I don’t know what you’re talking about, ma’am.”

(We left a huge tip that night.)

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Society Is Transitioning With Them

, , , , | Working | October 12, 2019

(I study dentistry in France. I’m a VERY anti-social justice woman, but I still think it’s important to support real issues, like gay and trans rights. Therefore, I educate myself on those topics, perhaps a bit more than the average person. This takes place at the dental clinic. We get the names and file number of patients on paper and then have to get them from the waiting room by calling their name out loud. I open my patient’s file using their number and read through it quickly, not paying much attention to their name. I see them being referenced as a woman, with pronouns like she and her. I then go and get them by calling “Mrs. [Last Name], and an older woman stands up and accompanies me to my chair. I then notice that the first name on the file is male. It sometimes happens that we get patients with the same last name confused, so I check:)

Me: “Um, sorry, but… what’s your first name? There might be a problem with the file.”

Patient: “Oh, it’s [Male Name], but I use the name [Female Name] now. I haven’t legally changed sex because that would make me lose my pension, but I am male to female transgender.”

Me: “Oh, all right. I guess you want me to refer to you by using female pronouns?”

Patient: “Well, you can call me [Female Name]!”

Me: “Haha, I can’t really do that since I don’t know you that well, but sure, I’ll call you ma’am, then.”

(The appointment goes well, and we chat about how and why she came to find out she’s a woman. At the clinic, our chairs are basically in half-open cubicles, so people walking by can see and hear everyone’s patients. After I’m done treating her, a guy from my class approaches me. It’s worth noting his father is an imam — a Muslim prayer leader — and he was raised VERY conservatively.)

Guy: “So… What was up with your patient?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Guy: “Well… I don’t get it. Was it a man? A woman? Was it a woman who wanted to be a man? Was he wearing a wig?”

Me: *pause* “Bruh.”

Guy: “What? That’s weird.”

Me: “Well, she’s male to female. When she was young, she was a man, physically at least. Now, she’s taking hormones; that’s why she has a female body. She identifies as a woman, so that’s what she is. She just wasn’t born in the right body, so to speak. And yes, that’s her real hair… You know that if you let yours grow, it will get long, as well, right?”

(I know I simplified it a bit, but my colleague was mystified by the concept of transgender people, so I didn’t want to overcomplicate it for him. To his honor, he didn’t feel “disgusted” or anything of that sort, just confused. I didn’t think there still was anyone under forty in France who didn’t know what a transgender person was!)

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