A Sex Pool That Accepts Both Genders

, , , , , , | Related | December 13, 2017

(I am a bisexual woman. This has never been a problem, as I live in a very accepting community and my family is great about it. However, my coming out was rather funny. Note: my dad and I are extreme morning people, while my mom is most decidedly not and requires her coffee before she is remotely functional.)

Dad: “So, you’re bisexual?”

Me: “Yup. Is that a problem?”

Dad: “Of course not. Just keep in mind that the rules for dates still apply, whether you date a man or a woman.”

Me: “I know!”

(My mom walks in. It is approximately 6:15 in the morning, and she has had no caffeine.)

Mom: *grunts*

Me: “Good morning to you, too!”

Dad: “[My Name], don’t you think you should tell your mom what you just told me?”

Me: “Mom, I’m bisexual.”

Mom: *grunts, drinks coffee*

Me: “Okay, then.”

(One hour later:)

Mom: “Hey, honey, what did you try to tell me earlier? I can’t remember.”

Me: “I’m bisexual.”

Mom: “Oh, you are? Good! I was worried there for a second!”

Me: “Why?”

Mom: “I thought you said you were in a sex pool!”

(Yes, this conversation really happened, and yes, this is a common occurrence. I just generally don’t say anything important before she’s had her coffee, anymore.)

Not A Complete Transition

, , , , | Friendly | December 13, 2017

Not A Complete Transition

Outdoors, UK

(I’m walking my friend home after a night out.)

Friend: “Can we stop and talk, man-to-man?”

Me: “Sure. We’re both women, but sure.”

Friend: “That’s what I wanted to talk about.” *deep breath* “I’ve been feeling like this for a long time, and I’m pretty sure I’m trans. I’m so sorry.”

Me: “What do you have to be sorry about, other than that awful segue? Man-to-man… Well, man-to-woman, now.”

Friend: “What?”

Me: “Well, if you’re a man, it’s man-to-woman.”

Friend: “But, you’re supposed to come out to me now!”

Me: “Huh? You think I’m trans?”

Friend: “Just look at you. You’re dressed as a man!”

(I look down at myself.)

Me: “I don’t think a Frank N. Furter outfit screams, ‘I’m a trans man.’”

(He threw a fit then and there, and ended up getting the police called on us for disturbing the houses around us. I’ve tried to be there for him, and offered him lifts and a place to stay if anything happens, but he refuses to acknowledge me until I come out, too. I don’t know why he thinks I’m trans, as the only thing remotely cross-gender thing I do is dress up like Frank N. Furter a lot, and he’s the one who introduced me to Rocky Horror in the first place. For the time being, though, I’ve had to put our friendship on hold.)

Pride Goeth Before The Bigot

, , , , , , , | Friendly | December 8, 2017

(My friend is at a gay bar during Pride Weekend in Canada. While there, a rather douchey American guy tries repeatedly to hit on her. She tells him several times that she isn’t interested but he keeps trying. Eventually, he stumbles over to her, quite drunk, and says loudly:)

Guy: “Hey, have you noticed how many [homophobic slur]s there are in here?!”

(A few people around him give really weird stares.)

Friend: “Er… What do you expect? It’s Pride Weekend.”

Guy: “Pride Weekend? What the f*** is that s***?”

Friend: “Well, it’s a weekend for LGBTQ people to celebrate being themselves.”

Guy: “What’s LBTGQ?”

(A couple of her friends laugh loudly at this.)

Friend’s Friend: “Sweetie, take a look around; you’ll have your answer!”

(Almost immediately the guy’s eyes bulge out of his skull.)

Guy: “WHAT? YOU MEAN I’M GONNA BE STUCK HERE WITH [SLUR]S ALL WEEKEND?! THAT’S F****** SICK! THAT GUY SET ME UP!”

(He bolted outside. My friend later saw him yelling into his phone at someone about how they had “set him up.” My friend and her buddies had a good laugh about it. Can’t imagine that guy made too many friends that weekend.)

Boy Is That Teacher In Trouble

, , , , | Learning | December 7, 2017

(Just a few months ago, two students in my year at school came out as transgender. Both were born female but identify as male, and they have been easily accepted by almost everyone. They have had their genders changed on the school registers, and their feminine names altered to the masculine ones they prefer. Aside from the odd bully, they never seem to get into much trouble, until our school pulls a small group of students out of classes for a special workshop and talk. The two trans students and about 30 others, myself included, show up at the hall where the talk is going to take place. The teacher greets us in the usual manner you would expect and ushers us inside. That’s when things start to go downhill.)

Teacher: “Hello ladies! As most of you know, National Women in Engineering Day was last week and [Name of School] has picked you guys to participate in a workshop that we hope will encourage you to take a career in engineering when you leave school.”

(By this point, many of us are glancing towards the two trans students. They look extremely uncomfortable, obviously wondering if there has been some kind of mix up.)

Teacher: “You girls are the highest performing students in STEM (Science Technology Engineering Maths) out of your year, so we feel you are more than capable of completing these tasks we have selected.”

(The two students stand, starting to leave, as there is no real reason for them to be there.)

Teacher: “[Student #1], [Student #2]! Where are you going?”

Student #1: “To class, Mrs. [Teacher].”

Teacher: “No! Sit back down, and be respectful!”

Student #2: “But miss, this is a workshop about women in engineering and we’re—”

Teacher: *interrupting* “I know what you girls are! Stop with this ridiculous nonsense about being boys. You are girls, you were born girls and you will always be girls.”

(Everyone in the entire hall has their jaws on the floor. The trans students look understandably upset, while the teacher is simply glaring at them. None of us know what to do, until another student stands up, and stalks out of the room. There is silence for a few minutes. The student returns with one of the deputy heads.)

Deputy Head: “Mrs. [Teacher]. May I have a word with these students?”

(The teacher looks smug and nods.)

Deputy Head: “What Mrs. [Teacher] has just said is absolutely incorrect. Girls can be boys, and boys can be girls. I hope that none of you will support the nonsense view that she has just tried to teach you. Mrs. [Teacher], my office. Now.”

Just Another Pain That Gay People Suffer

, , , , | Learning | December 5, 2017

Friend: “Can I try something with you?”

Me: “What is it?”

(She grabs my arm and I pull back. I see something shiny in her hand and lean away from her as much as I can.)

Me: “What the h*** are you doing?!”

Friend: “I wanted to poke you with a needle.”

Me: “WHY?!”

Friend: “Because I read that gay people have an autonomic response that stops them bleeding.”

Me: “Where the h*** did you read that, 4chan?!”

Friend: “Yahoo.”

Me: “Well, it’s wrong. Completely wrong!”

(She tried to convince me to do it, but I flat out refused and moved to another seat. There were two other gay people in our lecture that we both knew about. I heard one of them yelp a few minutes later. I wish I was joking…)

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