A couple of years back, my family and I went out to eat. After we finished and made our way back to our car in the parking lot next to the restaurant, a car was pulling up and parked at the side of the street, right across the entry/exit of the parking lot.

The driver left his car and saw us standing at the entry to the lot, staring at him in disbelief.

Driver: “Can I leave my car there? It won’t take long. I’m just going to pick something up! I’ll just be a minute!”

Not only was the lot half-empty but — as we pointed out to him — if he pulled forward just a car length, he would be in a completely legal parking spot and be even closer to the restaurant!

He wasn’t exactly happy, but he pulled forward and away from the parking lot.

I guess he really wanted to take the extra 2.5 steps.

Every year, the church down the street from my house has a small fair involving a lobster meal, craft tents, and a flea market. I attend with my mother and sister, and one year, my sister brings a friend. 

The four of us get our meals and find an open spot on the lawn to eat. My mother and sister finish well before us, so they go to see what’s for sale. [Friend] and I chat between ourselves as we finish our own food and drink, and she winds up pulling the head off her lobster entirely. A few minutes later. I tease her about something, and she immediately reaches for the lobster head.

Me: “Ohhh, no. No!”

She throws it at me, and I kick my foot up to block it. Not only do I block successfully, but somehow, I bring my foot up at the perfect momentum and angle, launching the lobster head up and over me to land in the grass behind my back. 

We’re both stunned, and then we start loudly shouting and cheering at how absolutely awesome it was. 

Friend: “Let me throw it at you again!”

Me: “NO!”

I am around twelve years old, and I have just gotten an NES (Nintendo Entertainment System). My friend and I love it so much that we are trying to convince [Friend]’s father to buy him one also.

Friend’s Father: “I don’t want to spend that kind of money on it.”

Me: “I understand; it’s not cheap.”

Friend’s Father: “Why can’t you just use the VCR to record your games and give the tapes to my son for him to play at home?!”

Me: “I… uh…”

Friend’s Father: “I’ll even offer to buy the tapes!”

I go on a day trip by bus to a tourist spot several hours away from my home, and on the way back at the end of the day, we are held up by an accident on the motorway. Our bus doesn’t move for a little while. The lady sitting behind me doesn’t take kindly to this, and literally every few minutes she shouts:

Passenger: “I don’t understand why every other lane of traffic is moving except ours!”

Several passengers try to explain that it is because the accident is in OUR LANE, but she isn’t having any of it — until one of her friends has clearly had enough and snaps:

Passenger’s Friend: “Tell you what, Christine. I’ll ring 999 and tell them you’re on the bus, and that’ll make them clear the road faster!”

This experience was annoying albeit extremely funny as I’m the most stubborn person you could meet, and this couldn’t have happened to a better candidate!

I get a notification on my phone one day.

Notification: “Google TV has connected to your phone.”

I don’t own a TV — Google or otherwise.

I go looking through my settings and search online to work out that the TV adds all nearby Android devices automatically. I live in a block of flats, so my phone has connected to a neighbour’s TV. I have to remove my device via the TV. It doesn’t work the opposite way around, so I can’t remove my phone from my end. Fun, eh? 

It’s not that much of a problem except that now, not only am I forced into my phone being a remote control for a neighbour’s TV, but it also notifies me every time the channel is switched or the volume is changed. That gets annoying fast. 

I go around to all the doors but am met with the same response: “F*** off, mate,” and a door slammed in my face.

This is where the fun begins.

I access the remote function on my phone and press “Mute TV.” Then, I get a notification.

Notification: “User has unmuted TV.”

I mute it again.

Notification: “User has unmuted TV.”

I mute it yet again.

Notification: “User has unmuted TV.”

This goes on for a little while until I get bored.

The next day, I wake up early to a weird noise. My phone is letting me know that my neighbour is watching a movie. Err, thanks, phone. 

I access the remote on my phone, turn the TV off, and go back to bed.

ALERT! ALERT!

Notification: “User has turned on TV.”

Oh, great. Here we go.

I spend nearly eight hours turning this person’s TV on and off in a game of “Who will get bored first?”

I hear a lot of shouting and smashing coming from upstairs to the right, so it sounds like it’s the neighbor who challenged me to a fight at the door if I knocked on his door again. 

We get up to seven hours and forty minutes, and I get a new notification.

Notification: “Device removed from TV.” 

If only people were more decent to each other and tech companies didn’t design bad software.