On This Bus You’re Living On A Prayer

, , , , | Working | September 16, 2017

I was waiting for my regular bus on a rainy day. On that day, the company sent out an extra bus in addition to the regular bus, and the extra arrived first. I was hesitant to get on it, because sometimes the extras don’t do the full route, and my stop was pretty far.

The driver really didn’t want to leave anyone standing there, though, and urged us all to get on. Every time we stopped, he did this spiel: “The regular bus is right behind me, but it might be full, so you should get on now, because I have plenty of room!”

Then, as he reached the halfway point of the route, at a stop filled with people, he refused to open the front door to let people in and suddenly announced, “Okay, I’m turning around! Everyone out!”

He never once indicated that he wasn’t doing the full route, he really pushed people to get on, even if they were reluctant, and then he just dumped us without any warning. The regular bus was not right behind him, and I had to walk another half mile in the rain and spend the rest of the day with jeans wet to the knee. I know I wasn’t the only one. Goodness knows why he harangued us all to board if he was just going to dump us halfway.

The Tragic School Bus

, , , , | Working | September 10, 2017

(I am heading home after my first day of school in an area I’m unfamiliar with, and I need to take a bus back home. I’m not completely sure which bus I’m supposed to take, so I ask the driver.)

Me: “Is this the bus that goes to Brampton?”

Driver: *gruffly* “Sit down.”

Me: *thinking that means “yes”* “Okay, then.”

(I sit down, and realize after a few minutes that this is taking me somewhere I am completely unfamiliar with. I decide to go back to the driver just to make sure.)

Me: “Excuse me, but is this the bus that goes to Brampton?”

Driver: “SIT DOWN!”

Me: “…Sorry! I just need to know, so I can get back home!”


Me: *getting a bit agitated* “Why won’t you just tell me if this is the way for me to get home?”

Driver: “If you don’t sit down right now, I will stop the bus and kick you out!”

Me: *We are now on a busy highway, and I know he’s not allowed to do that.* “No! Why aren’t you just answering my question!? Besides, you can’t drop me off in the middle of a highway, anyway!”

Driver: “F*** you! I’m calling the police!”

(The driver did, in fact, pull over to call the police. We were parked for nearly twenty minutes until they arrived. The bus driver accused me of assaulting him, but the other passengers on the bus backed me up and told the police he was lying. The police ended up calling me a cab, which I had to pay for. Even for a jacka**, you’d think he would have saved himself the headache and just told me where the bus was going.)

Should Have Taken The Window Of Opportunity

, | Right | September 4, 2017

(I work as a bus driver. It’s early evening, and I have just had one of the windows smashed on my bus by kids throwing stones. I have pulled up just beyond the next bus stop, and am sitting there with the engine off, the hazards on, the destination screens blanked, and all the internal lights off. It’s a warm evening, so I have all the windows and the doors open, and I’m standing in the doorway talking on my phone. After I’ve been there for about 15 minutes, a man walks up and tries to get on the bus, having looked at the smashed window as he walked past it. He looks and sounds like he may be stoned. I block him getting on.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not going anywhere.”

Man: “Why not?”

Me: “Um, because I’ve had a window smashed. I can’t take this bus any further, I’m afraid.”

(He steps off the bus and looks at the window again, which is mostly still there, but badly damaged.)

Man: *pointing along the road* “Could you not just take me to [Destination]?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, I can’t move this bus anywhere for the moment.”

Man: “But I only want to go along to [Destination]!” *points again*

Me: “Look, I’m very sorry, but I am not allowed to move this bus from here because it has a smashed window. If you walk along to the stop which is just behind me, you will get another bus there which will take you where you want to go.”

(After another few minutes of this, he eventually got off the bus and proceeded to spend the next 25 minutes wandering back and forth along that short section of road, not getting on any of the numerous buses that passed in that time.)

At Least She Knows Her ABCs

, , | Learning | August 30, 2017

(In our relatively small school district, the buses into the country take both middle- and high-schoolers home. One day, I think I hear a girl at least five years younger than me say my name. I turn around.)

Me: “What?”

Girl: “This is an A and B conversation; now ‘SEE’ your way out of it!”

(I blink at her, trying to comprehend that she said this to me completely seriously.)

Me: “Uh…”

Her: *Z-snap* “That’s right, I just OWNED you!” *turns away with a sense of triumph*

Me: *to my friends* “Did… did that just happen?”

(They were all too busy laughing hysterically to answer.)

A First-Class First-Grade Forgery

, | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Learning | July 12, 2017

When I was in first grade, our bus had a stop at the corner by my house on [X Street] and a second stop at the fire hall located across the alley and main road, behind my house, for all of the kids on [Y Street]. Typically, I caught my bus at the corner stop, but I thought the stop at the fire hall was so much cooler since the kids got to cross the main road.

One day, on the way to school, I wrote a note and signed my mom’s name on it, giving myself permission to get off the bus at the fire hall with all of my friends. Keep in mind, I was six years old with nothing but crayons and some old worksheets in my book bag, and no knowledge of cursive handwriting. You can imagine how ridiculous that permission note looked.

The school accepted it. My mom had a field day telling the school administrators about themselves.

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