Bus Stops Are An Amber Alert

, , , , | Working | January 16, 2018

I am riding the bus back to my apartment after my classes one day. There is a stop light near my stop, so I end up pulling the signal while we are waiting at the light.

The bus driver then opens the doors for a few seconds while the light is still yellow. I’m a little confused by why this happens, but I don’t really think anything of it.

Then, we approach the bus stop and a few of us realize the bus driver is not slowing down. We start pulling the signal again, but the driver passes our stop.

When people start to complain, she tells us that she had already stopped and nobody got off, so it was our fault. She ended up letting us off at the next stop, and I had to walk 20 minutes back to my apartment, all because I didn’t want to exit the bus in the middle of a stop light!

Chip(munk)ing Away At Your Brain

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 23, 2017

I’m on a well-known bus line, getting ready to visit family for the holidays. The bus has a rule requesting that passengers set their phones to silent or, at the very least, vibrate. One woman on the bus apparently didn’t get that memo. The ringer on her phone was loud enough to wake me up, and the ringtone she had was “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late).”

To make matters worse, someone kept calling her every five minutes or so. By the end of my trip, I got off the bus with a really bad eye twitch and a newfound hatred for Alvin and the Chipmunks.

You’re Being Followed

, , , , , | Working | December 15, 2017

(I work on a customized double decker bus that helps people at night. One of our volunteers is notorious for having the worst farts ever.)

Volunteer #1: *farts*

Shift Leader: “ABANDON SHIP!”

(Everyone leaves to escape the gas except one volunteer who was upstairs, thinking he was safe. A minute passes…)

Volunteer #2: *sprints down the stairs and out the door choking* “IT FOLLOWED ME UPSTAIRS! I THOUGHT I WAS SAFE!”

Conspiracy Theories Caught On Camera

, , , , , | Friendly | December 15, 2017

(I’m from Germany. I’m traveling across the country on a long-distance bus and decide to use the time to watch a cartoon series a friend recommended to me. A random dude sits behind me and taps on my shoulder, so I take my headphones off.)

Dude: “Hey, do you mind if I watch that with you?”

Me: “Not at all. I even have some splitters on me. It’s in English, though.”

(The dude and I chat for about a minute about some cartoons we both enjoy while he moves his stuff to sit down next to me. Then, he just stares at my laptop blankly for no apparent reason.)

Dude: “You covered your camera.”

Me: “Yup, I did. I normally don’t Skype or anything, so it’s not like it’s an inconvenience or something like that.”

Dude: “You know that nobody’s watching you? God, if I knew you were a paranoid piece of s***, I wouldn’t have talked to you.”

(He continues to launch into a long speech, filled with insults, about conspiracy theories and how I must be completely bonkers for believing them — which I don’t — while I don’t say a word and tune him out for the most part. When he finishes a few minutes later, he demands that I explain myself and justify my “insanity.”)

Me: “My ex-boyfriend is an Anonymous hacker, and he actually did hack into my computer and my webcam. He took some pretty nice pictures of me and sent them to my friends, who kindly beat him up for me. As far as I know, he didn’t try again, and the pictures are gone, but I prefer to have my webcam covered, not that it’s any of your business. Now, either shut up and put your headphones in and watch [Cartoon] quietly without speaking to me, or shut up and leave, which I’d prefer.”

(He left. For anyone interested, my ex and I never crossed paths again and he still hasn’t contacted me five years later, to my immense joy. My friends are still awesome, and I still have no social media, nor do I open anything that isn’t sent to me by a trusted source. Not everyone with their webcams covered is a nut-job. Sometimes their exes are just psycho.)

The ABCs Of Being Late

, , , , | Learning | November 15, 2017

(My university has shuttles that transport students between campuses. [Campus A] is right across from my apartment, so I use the shuttle there to go to [Campus B], where I take another shuttle to [Campus C]. The [A-B shuttle] has been incredibly reliable for the past two years, but the guy who drives it when I go to my Tuesday/Thursday classes this semester always seems to be 15 minutes late for a 10-minute drive. At first, I think traffic is just worse at this time, but the shuttle tracker shows that he’s actually departing [Campus B] 15 minutes late. I’ve taken to asking the driver to call the [B-C shuttle] and ask them to wait, reasoning that I shouldn’t be embarrassed to ask for accommodations when it’s their fault I’m late. One day, he’s even later than usual.)

Me: “Could you call the [B-C Shuttle] and ask them to wait?”

A-B Driver: “Actually, there was an accident on the interstate, so they’re running late, too.”

(He drives to [Campus B] and arrives just as the [B-C shuttle] departs.)

A-B Driver: “All right. If you stay on, I can catch him at the light.”

([A-B Driver] manages to get [B-C Driver]’s attention at the light, and I get on the [B-C shuttle].)

Me: *to [B-C Driver]* “Sorry! I asked him to call ahead, but he said it was fine because you were running late, too.”

B-C Driver: “Not as late as him, though!”

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