New Job, Old Friends

, , , | Hopeless | June 19, 2017

(When I worked in retail, I used to get the same bus home from work each day. A group of elderly women used to be on there at the same time, and I used to talk to them. After three years of retail work, I got an office job full time and gave my notice to the store I worked for. I mentioned to the ladies on the bus that I would be finishing that Friday. Friday comes, and I am pretty emotional after spending the day saying goodbye to people. I get on the bus… and find a card a wrapped present in my usual seat.)

Lady #1: “You’ve been so kind to us over the last few years. We thought the least we could do is give you a little something when you’re starting afresh.”

Me: “I don’t know what to say. Thank you; that’s so generous.”

Lady #2: “I’ll tell you what you can say. Promise never to work in retail again!”

Me: *laughing* “Deal.”

(The present was a coffee mug with the first letter of my name on it, and box of chocolates. They had gotten two of the regular drivers to write in the card as well. I hugged them all before I left the bus, and still keep in contact with all three women. That mug still has pride of place on my desk. Thank you, ladies.)

A Kiss Can Take You To Many Places

, , | Friendly | June 2, 2017

(A couple of years ago, when I am around 21, I am working at the company that provides public transportation (buses and trains) in my region. I work at the office. My dad is a bus driver for the same company. One of the perks of working there is that we can travel for free on our buses and trains. One day, it just happens that my dad is the driver of the bus I’m taking. I get on, give him a quick kiss on the cheek, and sit down behind him. The middle aged man behind me gets on, looks at my dad, confused, and asks:)

Passenger: “Do we all have to do this to travel for free or can I just pay for my ticket?”

(My dad and I burst out laughing and explained that I was in fact his daughter, but the look on his face was just priceless. Still makes me giggle years later.)

Deathly Silent

, , , | Learning | May 30, 2017

(As I live about an hour and a half away from my school, I travel there and back by the school’s bus service. Travelling with me are three girls below my year and five girls in my year. Since we spend so much time together on the bus and our school bans us from using or bringing smartphones, we all talk to each other. Today, I’m not really feeling like talking so I just read a book while my friend talks to me whilst drinking water. Suddenly, she starts choking.)

Friend: *dramatically, in the middle of her coughs* “I’m dying.”

Me: *without looking up from my book* “Can you die a little quieter, please? I’m trying to read.”

(My friend suddenly stops coughing.)

Friend: *indignantly* “Excuse me, [My Name], I can die as loudly as I want!”

Defence Against The Darkness Of Real Life

| USA | Learning | May 9, 2017

(I’m on a bus for a band trip when I hear some of my friends, including Student #1, talking about boarding schools.)

Me: *jokingly* “Who’s going to a boarding school?”

Student #1: *jokingly* “You’re going to a boarding school.”

Me: “Unless the boarding school is Hogwarts, I’m staying at [Our School].”

Student #2: “What if [School] IS Hogwarts?”

Student #3: “It is!”

Me: “Then clearly I’m taking all the wrong classes! Why am I not in defense against the dark arts?”

Student #3: “That’s language arts.”

Me: “Does that make science Charms class?”

Student #2: “No, that’s potions.”

Has It Back To Front

| Lidköping, Sweden | Working | May 8, 2017

(I had taken a day trip by bus to a nearby town to buy a steam cleaner for a better price than in my hometown. The box is large enough to block everyone if I carry it, so I wait for everyone else to walk past me before I get up. As I turn to exit, the doors closes behind the last person and because the engine is still running naturally I try to get the driver’s attention by waving in the mirror, but fail as people are coming on and keeps her occupied. I stand aside to let people pass me before I rush up to the driver who, in that time, started driving away and I start to panic a little.)

Me: “Excuse me, I wanted to get off here.”

Driver: “Err, there’s a door in the back for that.”

Me: “Yes, but the door closed so quickly.”

Driver: “Okay, then there’s a door in the front.”

(As if I got the chance to use either…)

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