A First-Class First-Grade Forgery

, | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Learning | July 12, 2017

When I was in first grade, our bus had a stop at the corner by my house on [X Street] and a second stop at the fire hall located across the alley and main road, behind my house, for all of the kids on [Y Street]. Typically, I caught my bus at the corner stop, but I thought the stop at the fire hall was so much cooler since the kids got to cross the main road.

One day, on the way to school, I wrote a note and signed my mom’s name on it, giving myself permission to get off the bus at the fire hall with all of my friends. Keep in mind, I was six years old with nothing but crayons and some old worksheets in my book bag, and no knowledge of cursive handwriting. You can imagine how ridiculous that permission note looked.

The school accepted it. My mom had a field day telling the school administrators about themselves.

New Job, Old Friends

, , , | Hopeless | June 19, 2017

(When I worked in retail, I used to get the same bus home from work each day. A group of elderly women used to be on there at the same time, and I used to talk to them. After three years of retail work, I got an office job full time and gave my notice to the store I worked for. I mentioned to the ladies on the bus that I would be finishing that Friday. Friday comes, and I am pretty emotional after spending the day saying goodbye to people. I get on the bus… and find a card a wrapped present in my usual seat.)

Lady #1: “You’ve been so kind to us over the last few years. We thought the least we could do is give you a little something when you’re starting afresh.”

Me: “I don’t know what to say. Thank you; that’s so generous.”

Lady #2: “I’ll tell you what you can say. Promise never to work in retail again!”

Me: *laughing* “Deal.”

(The present was a coffee mug with the first letter of my name on it, and box of chocolates. They had gotten two of the regular drivers to write in the card as well. I hugged them all before I left the bus, and still keep in contact with all three women. That mug still has pride of place on my desk. Thank you, ladies.)

A Kiss Can Take You To Many Places

, , | Friendly | June 2, 2017

(A couple of years ago, when I am around 21, I am working at the company that provides public transportation (buses and trains) in my region. I work at the office. My dad is a bus driver for the same company. One of the perks of working there is that we can travel for free on our buses and trains. One day, it just happens that my dad is the driver of the bus I’m taking. I get on, give him a quick kiss on the cheek, and sit down behind him. The middle aged man behind me gets on, looks at my dad, confused, and asks:)

Passenger: “Do we all have to do this to travel for free or can I just pay for my ticket?”

(My dad and I burst out laughing and explained that I was in fact his daughter, but the look on his face was just priceless. Still makes me giggle years later.)

Deathly Silent

, , , | Learning | May 30, 2017

(As I live about an hour and a half away from my school, I travel there and back by the school’s bus service. Travelling with me are three girls below my year and five girls in my year. Since we spend so much time together on the bus and our school bans us from using or bringing smartphones, we all talk to each other. Today, I’m not really feeling like talking so I just read a book while my friend talks to me whilst drinking water. Suddenly, she starts choking.)

Friend: *dramatically, in the middle of her coughs* “I’m dying.”

Me: *without looking up from my book* “Can you die a little quieter, please? I’m trying to read.”

(My friend suddenly stops coughing.)

Friend: *indignantly* “Excuse me, [My Name], I can die as loudly as I want!”

Defence Against The Darkness Of Real Life

| USA | Learning | May 9, 2017

(I’m on a bus for a band trip when I hear some of my friends, including Student #1, talking about boarding schools.)

Me: *jokingly* “Who’s going to a boarding school?”

Student #1: *jokingly* “You’re going to a boarding school.”

Me: “Unless the boarding school is Hogwarts, I’m staying at [Our School].”

Student #2: “What if [School] IS Hogwarts?”

Student #3: “It is!”

Me: “Then clearly I’m taking all the wrong classes! Why am I not in defense against the dark arts?”

Student #3: “That’s language arts.”

Me: “Does that make science Charms class?”

Student #2: “No, that’s potions.”

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