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Treating People Like A Zero Makes You Lose Count Of Them

, , , , , , , | Legal | CREDIT: GummyKibble | October 12, 2020

I deliver a pizza to a motel and the customer is a drunk, condescending a**hole.

Customer: “Hey pizza boy, couldn’t get a smart-person job huh? Stay in school. How much is the pizza?”

Me: “$9.87.”

He hands me a $10 bill.

Customer: “Keep the change.”

As I turn to walk back to my car, I see that there is an extra zero on the end: he’d accidentally slid me a Benjamin ($100). I hauled a** to my car, and he must’ve figured it out because he starts yelling to me.

I just know he is going to call the store, so I hide the $100 bill in my car and replace it with a $10 from my own wallet. Sure enough, the manager is waiting at the door when I get back. I hand him my cash belt so he can count it and he finds that I’d made $15 in tips for the night so far.

Manager: “Sorry about that, [My Name]. I knew he was just a drunk a**hole but I had to check.”

If the customer had been halfway decent, I absolutely would have told him about the mistake. But treat me like a loser? Thanks for the tip!

Time To Order A Pie r²

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: GhostOfSorabji | October 12, 2020

The missus and I get a bit of a hankering for a pizza so I give our local pizzeria a call and order an 18” meat feast for collection.

A short while later, I stroll down to the shop to collect it. While I am waiting for it to be boxed up, a woman comes bustling in and raps her knuckles imperiously on the counter demanding service; the only person serving was currently out the back dealing with my order.

The lass dutifully comes out, tells me that my pizza will be out shortly, and turns to the woman to take her order.

Customer: “I want two 12” meatball specials and be quick about it: I have two hungry kids at home!”

Me: “Excuse me, but if both pizzas are for your family, you’re better off getting one 18” pizza: it’s cheaper and you’ll get more pizza for your money.”

A 12” is £8.95: an 18” is £12.50.

Customer: *looks me up and down* “Don’t be stupid! Two 12” pizzas are more than one 18” one. It’s bloody obvious! Didn’t you do maths at school?”

Me: “I did… which is why I know one 18” pizza is bigger than two 12” ones by about 10%.”

She snorts derisively and turns to the lass serving.

Customer: “I’ll be back in twenty minutes… and my pizzas had better be ready!”

With that, she sweeps out in a cloud of cheap perfume. I look over to the lass serving who could barely contain her laughter:

Me: “We get this all the time. Doesn’t matter what you say, people never believe that the 18” is a better deal than two 12” ones. They always think we’re trying to rip them off.”

This is why you pay attention in maths class. The pizza was delicious!

The X-Files/Munsters Crossover

, , , , , , , | Right | October 9, 2020

I’m a pizza delivery driver on my way to a marina where the customer lives on their boat along with several others that are all docked there. My instructions state that I have to call the customer when I get there to be directed to their particular boat. It’s about 8:30 and night has fully set.

I am on the phone with the customer.

Me: “Hello, sir. I’ve arrived at the marina and am calling to find out which boat you’re at. I’m currently in front of the bar at the end of the dock.”

Customer: “All right, you’ll have to cross the railroad bridge to get to us.”

Me: “A… railroad bridge?”

Obviously, continuing down the dock wouldn’t lead to any kind of “railroad” bridge, so I ask the customer if he can direct me from the bar. At this time, a man exits the bar to smoke a cigarette.

Smoking Man: “Oh, hey, pizza. Who’s it for?”

Since people on the docks tend to all know each other, I show him the name on the ticket while speaking with the customer.

Customer: “Just go to the railroad bridge and cross it and I’ll be just past it.”

Me: “Sir, it’s dark out. I don’t see any kind of railroad bridge. Could you please tell me what direction I need to go from this bar on the edge of the dock?”

Smoking Man: “Railroad bridge? Sure you’re in the right place?”

The customer insists that there’s a bridge once more and hears the man next to me over the phone.

Customer: “Hey, is there someone else there?”

Me: “Yes, he seems to be just as confused as I am about where this bridge is supposed to be.”

Customer: “Hey. Ask him if he’s ‘Herman Munster.’”

About a minute passes of me trying to get the customer to get back on track so I can get his food to him, but he insists I ask the man next to me if he’s “Herman Munster,” a name I know belongs to an old TV show character.

Me: *Giving up* “They want me to ask if you’re Herman Munster.”

At this point, the Smoking Man and the customer laugh, and the customer hangs up. Figuring I’ve been conned into a prank order, I begin to leave.

Smoking Man: “So, do you know where to go now?”

Me: “No. They hung up on me just now, so it’s likely this was a prank. Just gotta take these pizzas back.”

Smoking Man: “Hang on a second. I’m sure some of the guys inside would want some pizza.”

He goes inside, and a woman is sent out to keep me company while he searches for money. I keep a look out for anyone that may be coming or signaling to me to bring them their pizzas. About five minutes pass and the man returns with $40 to pay the $27 bill and tells me to keep the change. After I’ve left and gone down the road, my phone rings and I answer.

Customer: “Hey, where are you at with our pizza?”

Me: *In disbelief* “Sir, I left. You laughed at my expense and hung up on me. I thought you were pulling a prank on me. And even if I turned around now, I found someone that wanted to buy those pizzas from me.”

Customer: *Angrily* “YOU SOLD OUR PIZZAS?! Why would you think we were pranking you?”

Me: “Sir, your directions made no sense, you insisted I ask a stranger if he was ‘Herman Munster,’ and you laughed at me and hung up. What part of that sounds like it would be a legitimate order?”

Customer: “My wife and I are very hungry. We want our food!”

Me: “Sir, if you’d like, you can call the store and replace the order and they’ll have no problem rushing it back out to you.”

The customer hangs up before I can finish. When I return to work, my manager wants to hear my side, apparently believing that I sold the pizzas to someone else IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMER.

Me: “One, if they had seen me, they could have claimed their pizza. Two, they goofed off on the phone with me, laughed at me, and hung up on me. To me, that says they were screwing with me.”

My shift manager called the owner and explained to him what she was told by both the customer and myself. In the end, it turns out that our boss agreed with my decision, and since the customer was still getting their order remade at full price, there was really no harm done. There’s now a memo in the works outlining the protocol for such situations. I walked away with a $13 tip and was given a pat on the back for saving the store money, another driver made the delivery, and hopefully, the customer learned a valuable lesson in phone etiquette when speaking to a person that’s trying to give them something.

A Yummy Meal AND Good Advice?!

, , , , , , , | Working | October 5, 2020

My mom had had her eyes dilated at an eye doctor appointment, and I’d had a long day on four hours of sleep and was in no real mood to cook, so I decided to order a pizza for us.

When it arrived, I signed the receipt and handed it back, but as I reached into my pocket for the tip, the delivery guy imparted some advice: he pointed out two other blanks on the receipt — one for a credit card tip, and one for the post-tip total — and told me that, since I ordered with a debit card but was tipping him in cash, I should write “cash” in the tip line and the original total for the post-tip total, so that no one less honest could write in a massive tip and steal from my account, which would definitely have been a pain to dispute.

Massive thanks to him for the advice! It was good to see an employee that looks out for the customers.


This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

Read the next Feel Good roundup story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for October 2020!

You Have To Slap A What?

, , , , , , | Right | October 3, 2020

I’m working on the register at my work. We are fairly busy as it is Friday and we are a pizza place. A customer comes in and orders his pizza.

Me: “Can I get your name?”

Customer: “That’s it.”

Me: “Okay, can I get your name?”

Customer: “That’s everything.”

Me: “All righty, sir, can I get your name?”

Customer: “Oh! Yeah. My name’s Dick. You just have to slap me.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “I don’t hear worth a darn, so you have to slap me to wake me up.”

Me: *Pause* “We’ll have that ready for you in just a few minutes, sir!”