Some People Just Want To Watch The Pizza Burn

, , , | Right | September 22, 2020

I work at a family-owned pizza buffet as a busboy. I know how to handle almost everything in the store, front to back, and I take pride in my job. One night, I go in to check up on my schedule, which is posted on the wall next to the oven. My coworker passes me on his way out to bus tables.

Coworker #1: “Hey, man, what’s up?”

Me: “Oh, not much, really. I’m just checking the schedule and then I’m gonna go.”

He smiles and continues busing. Another coworker and I exchange an inside joke and have a few laughs, but he is still working so it is only a quick five-second conversation. As I’m about to leave, a man comes up to the buffet line and proceeds to stand there impatiently. My manager, who is cutting pizzas at the time, notices.

Manager: “Is everything okay, sir?”

Customer: “You know what? No. No, it’s not.”

Manager: “What can I do to help you, then, sir?”

Customer: “I noticed that your workers are fooling around.”

He motions for the coworker and me to walk over.

Customer: “If I could speak to you two, as well…”

Being identified as an employee of the buffet, I can’t simply walk away and be rude, as that would reflect on our store poorly. So, I indulge the man and listen.

Customer: “You know, there’s a lot of inconsistencies. The sauce isn’t as centered as it should be and the cheese is melted. The dough just isn’t as good as it should be, and I know what the problem is. It doesn’t have salt.”

Coworker #2: “Well, we measure our salt and put it into every batch, sir.”

The customer realizes we know he is trying to act cool and collected while blowing a lot of hot air, so he switches to complaining about me.

Customer: “Well, there is a time to goof off and talk, like when you’re not at work. I’m a manager myself so I know about that. If I was your manager, then I would give you a warning and then fire you. You have to take pride in your work, even at a dead-end job like this.”

He walked back to his table, talked to his girlfriend, and then left the buffet. I didn’t really understand what had just happened, and I don’t think he did, either. A few customers had actually complimented my manager for making good pizzas, so I know the pizzas were fine. No one was goofing off.

Did I engage in a normal, friendly human contact with my coworkers? Yes. Is that goofing off? No. So, what just happened?

Well, he did give the impression of someone with a superiority complex and I guess he just wanted to try and seem like he was better than us. He pulled the “I’m a manager” card, tried to tell us what was wrong with our pizza — and he was wrong — and then he accused us of goofing off. Maybe he was trying to be an “alpha male,” maybe he was just being a jerk, or maybe he thought he was being helpful. All I know is that that was the most confusing complaint I have ever experienced.

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Unfiltered Story #208824

, , | Unfiltered | September 21, 2020

(I am a 16 year old customer at this time, and my other mother had paid for a regular draft. also I’m paraphrasing as I’m posting this the day after)
Worker: [my name], I know you’re eating you pizza, but can you come over here please
Me: Okay (walks over there)
Worker: everyone here wants to play “Modern masters”, is that okay with you?
Me: What’s “Modern masters”?
Worker: I have no idea but we’ll find out together.
(a little while later)
Worker: [my name], can you please come over here again
Me: Okay (walks over there)
Worker: (to other customers) right, so you all want to play “Modern masters”. But [my name]’s mother only paid for a regular draft, so what are we going to do? (the worker and customers 1, 2, 3, and 4 talk for a few seconds). (to me) alright [my name] everyone here has agreed to chip in and pay the difference (a number I later worked out to be $6 each as the Worker also played)
Me: thanks
(these awesome customers reminded me what MtG it really all about, the community)

When You Know It’s A Scam But You Have To Play Along

, , , | Right | September 20, 2020

I work at a nicer place, with pizzas more expensive than you’d think, so most customers we attract are pleasant. Most.

It’s midday, rush just ended, I’m cleaning up, and my coworker beckons me to the phone. It’s someone upset but coworker’s not sure what to make of it; I’m just wondering how much energy I’ll need to muster so I can sound convincingly friendly over the phone.

Me: “Heya, this is [My Name], the manager today. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah uh…so our food was messed up, uh, twice, yesterday. Uh wondering if we can get that… remade.”

Oh… so I’m dealing with this now?

Me: “I’m sorry, could you tell me more about that? You said yesterday? What happened?”

I’m nice to a fault, so I’ll give him a chance. A slim one.

Caller: “Oh, yeah, we ordered a sub? And it was, like, cold. So we needed another one, uh it had tomato too, wasn’t supposed to have tomato. And we got the second one but it was the same, had tomato on it. And uh… you were closed so I couldn’t call so…”

Funny how they always say they couldn’t call because we were closed. I begin casually rambling, seeing how he’ll react. I’m starting to have fun.

Me: “Huh, well the tomato would be our fault, I agree, especially since we did it both times, that’s on us. The sub being cold though, it’s possible they put too much meat on it. We keep it cold, see, in a refrigerated unit, so too much piled onto the sub might be cold in the center even after cooking. Experienced that myself a few times, I always love extra ham, but it does have its drawbacks. It could keep the oven from heating it up fully, keeping the middle cold, kinda like a microwave not heating leftovers correctly. Next time you order, you could try asking for the sub to be cooked well done. That’ll toast it up more. See if you prefer that? If not, we can work from there, see what works better for ya.”

The dude isn’t even phased.

Caller: “Okay…yeah, but uhh, whaaat can you do for us??”

Okay, 100% fishing for free stuff. Game on, bro. Let’s tango. He starts haggling, and I cut him off with a tantalizing:

Me: “Well I can’t remake the sub since you ordered yesterday and all, but I suppose I could possibly give you a two-dollar credit. What phone number—”

I was going to pull up yesterday’s records so I could make a show of not finding his order in the system, act all confused, really put him on the spot, but the dude latches on as soon as I mentioned something I could do for him.

Caller: “Oh sweet, use [RANDOM NUMBER THAT DOESN’T MATCH CALLER ID]. Name’s [Fake Name].”

Me: “Ah, you’re… ordering right now?”

Caller: “Oh, yeah, let’s see, I want a medium pizza—”

Record scratch.

Me: “Sir? Sir, the discount I mentioned was only for the sub if you were to reorder it.”

He isn’t going to get this anyway since I know I wouldn’t find his supposed order from yesterday.

Me: “If you want a pizza, I can’t apply the discount. Just giving you a heads up.”

Caller: “What? Whatd’ya mean, how’re they different?”

Me: “A sub is a sub. A pizza is a pizza. The discount would have been for the sub, since we messed it up yesterday. I can’t apply it if you’re ordering a pizza—”

I hear the sweet, satisfying click of him abruptly hang up. Game over.

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We’re Not Calling You Stupid As We Don’t Have To

, , , , , | Right | September 14, 2020

I am delivering a pizza; the receipt prints with the address. I put the address into my GPS and go. When I get there, the house numbers on the receipt don’t match any of the houses, so I call the customer. It is raining heavily.

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Mr. [Customer]?”

Customer: “Yeah?”

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name] from [Pizza Place]. I have your order, but I’m having trouble finding your house.”

Customer: “Why? It’s not that hard to find. I gave you my address, didn’t I?”

Me: “Yes, sir, but I am standing here at the address I have, and there is no house. Can you just verify the address for me, please?”

Customer: “No, I’m not giving you my address again! You have it; just take it there!”

Me: “Sir, I am there. There was obviously a problem, and the address is not right. Can you ple—”

Customer: “And how is that my problem?”

Me: “Well, sir, without the right address, I won’t be able to deliver your pizza.”

Customer: “Fine! Have it your way! It’s 123 South [Street].”

Me: “Ah… I see the problem. We have 123 [Street], South [Street] is a completely different street.”

Customer: “Fine! Now hurry up!”

It takes me a few minutes to get there, as South [Street] is about five miles from [Street].

Customer: “About time! I hope you don’t think you’re getting a tip for this! Get it right next time!”

Me: “Sir, this receipt says that you placed the order online.”

Customer: “So? What’s that got to do with anything?”

Me: “When you placed the order, did you have to type in the address?”

Customer: “Yeah? So what? You’re still late!”

Me: “The address on the receipt is printed exactly how you typed it when you placed the order.”

Customer: “What’s your point?”

Me: “You made a mistake when you put in your address.”

Customer: “Are you saying I don’t know my own address?!”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “Are you calling me stupid?!”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “It’s not my fault you couldn’t find the d*** place! Maybe you need to get better at your job!”

Me: “Sir, computers don’t lie.”

I showed him the receipt. After looking at the receipt and seeing the mistake, he threw his money at me and slammed the door. I then spent the next few minutes picking up the change in the rain. It was exact change. No tip. In total, this order took me thirty minutes. I missed out on two deliveries dealing with this guy.

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Unfiltered Story #207991

, , , | Unfiltered | September 12, 2020

(I was studying late one night there was nothing in the fridge and so I ordered a pizza from a nearby chain store rhymes with smominos. Paid $32 for pizza + delivery – discount from coupons + $10 extra for express or get the next one free deal)

I go back to studying after placing the order, watching my pizza tracker occasionally, time seems slower when studying or so I thought until I checked the time, over 1 hour and 20 minutes had passed and I had just gotten the notification that the driver just left the store, it’s a 5 minute drive, granted he might of had other delivery to drop off, but as I watch the live tracker, its taken him 15 minutes to drive to my street, on what seems to be a direct path.

so I turn on the lights at the front of the house and go out into the driveway in my Pyjamas and socks, waiting in the cold. Phone in hand, the tracker just said delivered, so I edge closer to the street in my driveway, and I see no cars on my street.

I give it what felt like a few minutes to wait and it ended up being closer to 15 minutes. So I call the store.

Me: Hi I placed an order 1 Hour and 35 Minutes ago, it recently said it had been delivered on the tracking app, but it has not arrived.

Worker 1: Okay sure no problem I can check that for you, can you tell me what your address is.

Me: I tell her my address.

Worker 1: (doesn’t place the phone on hold) yells to Worker 2 isn’t this the address you just went too?

Worker 2: Yeah

Worker 1: Well she said she didn’t get it.

Worker 2: Well I was just there. Shes lying!

Me: (since I can hear everything) Can you ask him who he delivered it too? Or what the house looked like?

Worker 1: The ladys asking who did you give it too?

Worker 2: A guy with a black car at the front.

Me: There are no men at home (I live alone) and my car is silver. Are you sure he got the right address?

Worker 1: (repeats what I just told her to worker 2)

Worker 2: Well I delivered it! Yes it was the right address!

Boss: Whats going on?

Worker 1: Quickly explains

Boss: we’re busy get back to work put it down and she might go away.

Me: (hearing everything and still waiting on the line 10 minutes pass her phone is beeping from another call in the queue)

Worker 1: (picks up) Hello?

Me: It’s still me, the one without the pizza.

Worker 1: Okay the boss will be right with you. *Hangs up*

Me: *I call back* Hi I think you just hung up on me?

Worker 1: Oh its you again. Hang on a moment. *puts the phone and the table and serves 6 other customers in a span of 20 minutes*

Boss: *picks up the phone* What do you want?

Me: I explain that I ordered my pizza now 2 hours ago and it didn’t arrive, so I called the store and the delivery boy claims he delivered it to a man with a black car at the correct address while, i’m a female with a silver car.

Boss: Asks the delivery driver.

Worker 2: I told you shes lying! I delivered it.

Boss: He says he delivered it.

Me: Okay look I am getting sick of this back and forth, tell your delivery boy to come back to the address I recite it for him, and I will be waiting in the middle of the street so he cannot miss me or my house or my silver car and I will question him myself as to which house he delivered my pizza too because this getting ridiculous so he can confirm for himself that he did indeed deliver it to the wrong house and so he can apologise for calling me a liar, how ever I am disgusted with your attitude, not only have I been called a lair twice I have been on the phone for over 30 minutes and being ignored while listening to everything you have said about me in the background, once this is through I want my refund.

Boss: He said he delivered it and refused to give me a refund.

Me: Either have him come back to my street and confront me at my house, or I will come to your store.

Boss: We will give you a coupon.

Me: I do not want a coupon, nor do I want my 2 hour old pizza which is probably sitting in someones stomach who lives in my street. I want my money and my time back and an apology but since I cannot have the latter I want my money back.

Boss: You paid using an online transaction (the website) we cannot give you a refund.

Me: I will take you to the department of fair trading.

Boss: We cannot give you a refund because we don’t have access to the website.

Me: But the payment goes to your store?

Boss: Yes, but no no we cannot give you a refund we don’t have a computer.

Me: Its okay i’ll come by in store right now and pick it up in dollar coins if I have too. I also have this exchange recorded for proof.

Boss: To get a refund you need to leave a complaint.

Me: Excuse me? your telling me I need to leave a complaint in order to prompt any form of reimbursement?

Boss: Yes just go to the website. *hangs up*

And so I go to the official website and make a complaint, 2 weeks later I get a reply and a phone call asking about the issue of my complaint, I explain and offer her a recording of the phone conversation, she explains that the processing is slow and it will take another 2 weeks to receive a refund.

I finally get my refund and no apology.