Delivering You The Criminals

, , , , , | Legal | August 9, 2018

The delivery area for a [National Pizza Chain] store I worked at was rather diverse, with two overlapping gang territories closest to the store, a business district at the northern boundary, middle-class housing to the south, and high-end housing to the west.

One night, I had a delivery to an upper-middle-class development, a house I’d delivered to in the past. But when I got there, all the lights were off inside. I went ahead and got out and knocked anyway, given the location, and the door was opened a few inches by a shabbily-dressed teenager. It was a rather snobbish family that I knew to live there and I doubted this person would be associated with them. A car drove past before he said anything and he ducked behind the door frame as it went by before opening the door far enough to pay and take the pizza. When he did I could hear more hushed voices coming from another dark room.

Once I was back in my car and was driving away, I called the police to report a potential burglary in progress. And it turns out it was. It boggled my mind that someone would order pizza while committing a crime. But, people hide nothing from the delivery driver, so I brushed it off and went on with life expecting that would be the end of it.

However, two weeks later I delivered to the same development, but a different house… and the same teenager in a house I knew wasn’t his. I called the cops again, and again it was indeed a burglary in progress.

While not my favorite delivery story from the three years I spent doing so, it remains one that never fails to leave me shaking my head at the stupidity of some criminals.

I’m Bringing Pizza Back

, , , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(I work in a busy pizza shop in a college town. On a Friday night, a young woman makes a carry-out order for seven pizzas. It is picked up without incident, but later we get a call from the customer’s friend.)

Customer: “Hi, my friend ordered an extra pizza by accident; we only meant to get six pizzas. We’d like a refund, please.”

Me: “Okay, if you bring it back to the store, we can give you your money back for the extra pizza.”

Customer: “What? No, you’re going to send someone here to pick it up.”

Me: “I’m afraid that since this was a carry-out order, we can’t send someone to take it from you. You’ll have to bring it back yourself.”

Customer: “That’s incredibly inconvenient for me. Why can’t you just send someone?”

Me: “Because the drivers are paid through the tips and the delivery fees they get from delivery orders. Since it was a carry-out order, we can’t send a driver to go pick it up because they wouldn’t be compensated for their time, and we need them here to deliver other orders.”

Customer: “Well, then, I’ll keep the pizza, but you’re going to give me a refund.”

Me: “I can’t give you a refund if you keep the pizza. That would just be giving away a free pizza; I would get in trouble.”

Customer: “Then you’re going to give me a free pizza next time I order for making me go out of my way.”

Me: *starting to get angry* “Ma’am, you accidentally ordered an extra pizza and we made it exactly the way you ordered it. If you want your money back, you have to give the food back to us; we’re not just going to give you a refund. And we certainly can’t give you a free pizza because you made a mistake in your order.”

Customer: “So, you made a mistake and you won’t even take responsibility?”

Me: “We didn’t make a mistake; you ordered the pizza and we made it exactly how you asked for it. You then picked it up and brought it home.”

Customer: “This is unbelievably inconvenient. I’m just going to send someone to give you guys the pizza, but you’ll never get an order from me again!”

(She never sent the pizza back.)


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A Hot Slice Of Confusion

, , , , , | Right | August 6, 2018

Customer: “Excuse me, but you’re out of cooked pizzas out front. Are you making any more today?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am! As a matter of fact, if you look behind me here, you’ll see that my coworker is slicing some fresh pizzas right now!”

(I point right at my coworker standing right next to a tall rack of pizzas. The customer goes wide-eyed.)

Customer: “So, you’re not making any more?!”

Reaching A Kindness Tipping Point

, , , | Hopeless | August 5, 2018

(I am a teenage girl at home by myself one night. I order a pizza and have it delivered, and as I am nervous opening the door to strangers, I add a special note to just leave it on the bench outside. I have taped a note to the door, along with a plastic bag containing the tip. However, when I notice that the pizza has been delivered, I discover that they did not take the tip. I decide to call the restaurant:)

Employee: “Hi, this is [Pizza Place]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I just had a pizza delivered with instructions to leave it outside, but I just realized that they did not see the tip that I left for them! Is there any way I could have that charged to my card to make sure they get it? I feel bad that they missed it.”

Employee: “Of course! What was the phone number with that order?”

(I give her the phone number.)

Employee: “Okay, would you mind holding for a minute? I need to ask my manager how to do this.”

Me: “Sure, no problem!”

(After a minute or two.)

Employee: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello!”

Employee: “Okay, we can do that! How much did you want to tip?”

Me: “[Amount].”

Employee: “Okay, we actually won’t need to do it electronically, but my manager will take care of it later. It was so nice of you to call in. Thank you!”

Me: “No problem. I guess they didn’t see the tip, and I just want them to get it! Anyway, have a good night!”

Employee: “Have a good night!”

(Be the change you wish to see in the world!)

I’m A Vegetarian But I Still Have Teeth

, , , , | Friendly | August 1, 2018

(I’ve been going through a rough patch, so to cheer me up, my mom takes me out to lunch at a pizzeria we used to frequent when I was a kid. Unfortunately, her clingy friend is also there and decides to sit with us. Mom is too nice for her own good, and my brain isn’t fully on when I’m hungry.)

Waitress: “Hello, are you ready to order?”

Mom: “We’ll have the meat-lover special.”

Me: “And I’ll have a small vegetarian and soda.”

(As soon as the waitress leaves.)

Mom’s Friend: “Vegetarian? Bah, silly kids and your diets. You’re already skinny.”

Me: “It’s not a diet. I don’t like eating meat, that’s all.”

Mom’s Friend: “Nonsense, humans have—”

Me: “Humans have eaten meat for thousands of years. I heard that speech before. I have my lifestyle and you have yours. I’m hungry, I’ve had a bad few weeks, and you invited yourself to what was supposed to be mother-son time. Tread carefully.”

(She was quiet for the rest of our time at the pizzeria. Thank God she didn’t come after us. I simply can’t understand why Mom keeps considering her a friend. This was mild compared to other times.)


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