An Extra Hot Slice Of ‘Got Ya!’

| AK, USA | Working | May 21, 2017

(I am the assistant manager of a pizzeria. For training purposes, I call the carry-out line during slow times, especially five minutes to close, since we serve up to close. As you can imagine this is also fun for me. This has been a very busy night for us and I am currently in the office, on my cell phone, just around the corner from the store’s phones.)

New Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Location]. What can I get for you today?”

Me: *in an overly exaggerated accent* “Howdy, ma’am. I got sort of an unexpected party here and I need a few pizzas.”

New Coworker: “A few?” *I could almost hear her becoming worried* “How many would you like?”

Me: *in accent* “Oh, not many. Say, maybe 20 or 25.”

New Coworker: “O… kay, could you hold just a moment? I need to check something.”

Me: *in accent* “Sure.”

(I hear New Coworker asking for me so I stand and put the cell behind my back.)

New Coworker: “[My Name], I have a man on the phone who wants several pizzas.”

Me: “Okay, we have more dough ready and can do a few. How many?”

New Coworker: “Like 20 or more!”

Me: “All right, take the order.”

New Coworker: “I figured we might be out or closed or something.” *which by now we would be closed, but the call would show before close*

Me: “We got the call and we have enough product to make the order. We have to take the order.”

New Coworker: *looking deflated* “Okay.”

(New Coworker goes back to the phone.)

New Coworker: “All right, sir, I am ready to take your order.”

(I have now walked up and stand literally three steps behind her.)

Me: *in accent* “I need five pizzas to be with everything. Another five, to be just veggie but with no jalapeños. Another five in the taco style, and the last five will be difficult.”

New Coworker: “Okay, sir, hold just a moment.”

(I have my cell to my ear as she turns to me.)

New Coworker: “Are you sure, because they are ordering many toppings and some with difficult instructions.”

Me: “We have to take the order. No exceptions unless we are out and we are not.”

New Coworker: *sighs, but nods acceptingly, then turns back to the phone* “All right, sir, what is the rest of your order?”

Me: *in accent, while facing her* “On the last five I need double onions and anchovies.”

(The look on her face was priceless. She was one our best workers and helped me do many last minute orders, with no complaint.)

Now It’s Time To Explain The Other 23 Letters

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Working | May 9, 2017

(I was at a pizza buffet that makes specialty pizzas when I heard another customer ask an employee what kind of pizza one of the choices was.)

Employee: “It’s a BLT, but I don’t know what that means.”

Me: “BLT is bacon, lettuce, tomato.”

Employee: “Really? I never knew that!”

(She went back to the kitchen saying:)

Employee: “Hey, guys, a BLT is bacon, lettuce, tomato!”

(My husband and in-laws got a good laugh when I told them.)

A ‘No More Order’ Disorder

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | April 29, 2017

(I order a pizza for dinner and am told it will take over 20 minutes as they are extremely busy. I take a seat and watch the guy making pizzas. More customers come in to order pizzas.)

Pizza Guy: *to his staff* “No more orders for pizza tonight.”

(Next customer comes in to order a pizza.)

Staff Member: “I’m sorry but we aren’t taking any more orders for pizza tonight. We are flat out.”

Customer #1: “Oh, okay, that’s fine. I’ll order something else then.”

(This goes on for each customer, each opting for another item, until one guy with a heavy accent walks in.)

Staff Member: “I’m sorry, sir, we are no longer taking orders for pizza tonight.”

Customer #2: “I want pizza. You can make one for me.”

Staff Member: “Sorry. The boss has said no more orders for pizza, but you can have anything else.”

Customer #2: “Where’s your boss?”

(He gets directed to the boss who has not stopped making pizzas while I was there.)

Customer #2: “I want a couple of pizzas. You can make them for me.”

Pizza Guy: *pointing to the pile of orders he still has to do* “Sorry, but I already have an hour’s worth of orders waiting to be made and we close in 15 minutes.”

Customer #2: “You can squeeze a couple more in for me. We are hungry. Just for me.”

Pizza Guy: “No, sorry, I can’t, I’ve already turned many away and can’t make an exception. All of my staff leave in 15 minutes. I’ll be left alone making these. You should have come in earlier.”

Customer #2: “But it’s just two more.”

Pizza Guy: “I’ve already said no. You should have been earlier than 15 minutes to closing.”

(The guy hovered around the counter, obviously trying to make the pizza guy feel sorry for him. He just got ignored before finally giving up.)

Not Sure Who Is Supposed To Be The Greedy One Here

| Australia | Right | April 26, 2017

(I’m in Australia where tipping isn’t mandatory and certainly not expected; it’s just a nice little extra if someone does tip, which isn’t very often. I am delivering pizza in quite a nice, upper-middle class suburb, when I deliver to a lady who has to pay cash, and is counting out her money and change.)

Customer: “Do any tips you get go to the driver? Or are all managers greedy and keep them for themselves?”

Me: “All of the tips customers decide to give us go directly to the drivers themselves, ma’am.”

Customer: “In that case, I’ll keep all of my change, thank you! Don’t need you greedy little workers getting extra money for what can hardly be a job.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Pine Away

| CA, USA | Working | April 22, 2017

(It’s late on 4th of July, about 30 minutes before the pizza place is going to close. I have been doing Uber for several hours and ready to end it for the night and wanting to order to pick up on my way home.)

Employee: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Is this for dine in, carry out, or delivery?”

Me: “Order for pick up.”

Employee: *after getting my name and number* “What would you like to order?”

Me: “A small pepperoni and pineapple.”

Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we are out of pineapple tonight.”

Me: “Oh, no!”

Employee: “We are also out of chicken, green onions, and anchovies.”

Me: “Well, I’m not so sad about the last one but pineapple is kind of vital for my pizza…”

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