We’ll Have A Wibbly-Wobbly Timey-Wimey Pepperoni, Please

, , , , | Right | July 1, 2020

I am delivering pizzas at an apartment building. As I get out of my car, a woman approaches me.

Woman: “What apartment is that for?”

Me: “306.”

Woman: “306? Oh, okay. We haven’t ordered yet.”

Me: “…”

As we don’t have any psychics or a time machine, we were unable to deliver her food before she had ordered it.

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Unfiltered Story #198742

, , | Unfiltered | June 28, 2020

I have been working for a national pizza chain that also shares its name with a game involving tiles with dots on them for almost 4 years, just at different locations due to my attending a university across the state from home. This company has a policy that if an order has not been picked up within an hour after it is placed, the order is immediately canceled and the staff is allowed to do with it as we please.
(A women had placed an order, which my manager had taken, 45 minutes beforehand. To ensure, the validity of the order, both my manager and I have called the customer a combined 6 times to confirm the order and repeatedly receive the line busy tone.
After canceling the order after an hour and ten minutes, a few of my coworkers and I partake in a few slices.
The customer then proceeds to walk into the store, while talking on the phone, 1 hour and 20 minutes after the order was initially place)
Me: Hi, Welcome to [pizza name]. Do you have an order to pick up?
Customer: Yeah, should be under [customer’s name].
(Immediately recognizing the name from the recently canceled order, I consult my manager and general manager, who is in the store working on a tech issue in the system. I explain the situation and they say to follow protocol)
Me: I’m sorry ma’am, but it seems your order has been canceled.
Customer: What do you mean canceled? (I then proceed to attempt to explain the policy to her)
Customer: So, did you guys throw it away or some s###?
Me: (being honest) Well, actually ma’am, we ate it as the order was canceled.
Customer: You f#####s ate my food???
Me: Well, yes, as we were given permission to by management. We will be happy remake your order if that is what you would like.
Customer: Well, if I’m going to have to wait longer for my food after you a###### ate it, then I want it for free.
Me: I’m afraid I can’t do that ma’am, if we remake the food, you will have to pay for it. It is not our fault that you showed up after the order expiration time.
Customer: MANAGER NOW!!!!
(I walk back into the office and once again explain the situation, I go about my business taking care of other tasks while my manager talks to the customer and the general manager leaves the store. I walk back into view of the customer and she points at me and starts misquoting me and how the conversation went in a mocking tone)
Customer: He told me that you guys ate my food when I asked for it. He’s blaming me for not having my food.
Me: That is not how I said that at all!
Customer: Yes it is! I’m a manager at [national restaurant chain down the street known for clown with initials R.M.] and you don’t argue with a customer!
Manager: Well, ma’am, I am the manager here and both [my name] and I attempted to call you to see if you were going to pick this order up 6 times and you never answered.
Customer: Well, I was busy, and when I placed my order, I was never quoted a time on when it would be ready to be picked up.
Manager: Ma’am, that is bull because I took your order when you called!
Customer: I want the general manager’s phone number!
Manager: I’ll be happy to give it to you, but it won’t do you any good. He was there when [my name] was explaining the situation to me and he said that we would remake the order but you are still going to pay for it.
(Customer starts sulking, whining, and wallowing in defeat)
Customer: Fine!! I’ll pay for the goddamn pizzas!! But I have been ordering from here forever and never been treated with such disrespect!!! [Note: I had never seen her before] I am never coming here again!!!
(The customer did receive her order and also was given a free two liter of soda for her trouble, all while giving me a death glare that could pierce steel. It is worth noting that we are good friend with a former employee of this pizza chain location that now works for the clown chain manager that wanted her food for free because we were following policy. Turns out she wasn’t lying about that.
The next day, my manager and I remembered that we could have told her about the microphones behind the monitors that capture sound for the security cameras that would have picked up the entire conversation.)

Unfiltered Story #197557

, , | Unfiltered | June 22, 2020

I was helping construction at my parents restaurant over a summer and was standing around with some workers when a man walked in. Keep in mind that all windows are covered with construction paper, our booths haven’t even been delivered yet, and we don’t even have a sign yet!

Customer: * Oblivious to the surrounding mess and very rude* Can I get a soda?

Me: *completely flabbergasted and shocked* I’m sorry sir, we are closed.

Customer: No it’s okay, can I just get a soda?

Me: We haven’t even had our opening night yet.

Customer: It’s really okay, just get me a soda.

I’m getting quite mad at this point.

Me: *Suprised by his audacity* Sir this store has never been open, it won’t be open for a couple of nor will we serve you a soda.

The man seems to have trouble comprehending this, but final understands that we will not serve him a drink. He finally leaves but not after saying,

Customer: How hard is it to get a drink, this isn’t the last you’ve heard of me!

I haven’t seen him since.

A Hawaiian Needs To Tell Them To Chill, Brah

, , , | Right | June 14, 2020

We have a special on three of our pizzas. I am on the register and my coworker is in the back.

Customer: “What are your specials?”

Me: “We have a large Hawaiian, a large sausage, or a large pepperoni for $8.”

Customer: “How many toppings can I get on the $8 pizza?”

Me: “Well, it is one of three choices: the Hawaiian, the sausage, or the pepperoni.”

Customer: “But how many toppings can I get for the $8 deal?”

Me: “Our $8 deal is for the Hawaiian pizza, the pepperoni pizza, or the sausage pizza.”

I am becoming really frustrated and extremely disheartened about society because this isn’t that hard to understand.

My coworker comes up front, hearing some frustration in my voice.

Coworker: “What seems to be the problem here?”

I explain what I’ve said and the customer’s question. He then looks at her and says the same thing I’ve been saying for five minutes.

Customer: “So, I can get a Hawaiian for $8? That’s all I wanted to know!”

I facepalmed. After that customer left, the customer that had been behind her looked at me and told me I had handled that situation well. She also told me that she really thought about telling this customer what comes on the three pizzas that were $8.

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More Than Half Exasperating

, , , | Right | June 14, 2020

We get a walk-in customer.

Customer: “We want the large one-topping pizza for $6.”

Me: “Awesome! What topping would you like on that?”

Customer: “Mushroom and pepper.”

Me: “Which peppers would you like? Jalapeño, banana, or green? And just so you know, it will be a little extra for the second topping.”

Customer: “Okay, yeah, we want the one for $10. And jalapeños aren’t spicy, right?”

Me: “Jalapeños are spicy, actually.” 

Customer: “Okay, green peppers and mushrooms, then. For $10.”

Me: “Okay, that will actually only be about $8.”

Customer: “Okay, and bacon.”

Me: “Okay. So, a large mushroom, green pepper, and bacon?”

Customer: “Yes.”

I ring it through and cash them out.

Me: “I’ll have that ready for you in about ten minutes.”

Customer: “Is the hot sauce spicy?”

Me: “A little, why?”

Customer: “Only put the hot sauce on half the pizza, then.”

Me: *Confused* “You didn’t order anything with hot sauce on it.”

Customer: “The chicken! The chicken pizza with the hot sauce!”

Me: “Oh, did you want to order another pizza with that on it?”

Customer: “No, no… On the pizza. The chicken… hot sauce on half.”

Me: “You didn’t order anything with chicken on it… or hot sauce.”

Customer: “The pizza! With the chicken! Only put hot sauce on half!”

Me: “You didn’t order anything with chicken. You have a large with mushroom, green pepper, and bacon.”

Customer: “No! Chicken… mushroom… banana pepper.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll change that for you. And hot sauce on half?”

Customer: *Exasperated* “Yes!”

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