That Cut Them Down To Size Quickly

, , , , , , , | Right | November 18, 2017

(I am waiting for my order in a popular pizza shop. It is late and very busy. A group of rowdy teenagers have just left with a few pizzas, and one of them storms back in to yell at the cashier.)

Customer: “Hey, b****! You didn’t cut my pizza right!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, I am so sorry. I can cut it properly for you.”

Customer: “No, just f****** forget it! You guys suck! You better give me some free cheese bread for all the d*** trouble you put me through! Can’t you do anything right?”

(At this point I see the pizza, and it is just a little bit uncut for one of the slices. I know the girl is only doing this to get some free food. I walk up to her.)

Me: “Do you want some bread?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Tell me how many breads you want. Name any number. How many friends do you have with you?”

Customer: “Um, there are eight of us.”

Me: *to cashier* “Please make me four orders of cheese bread and give me two liters of soda.”

(I pay for the food and hand the girl the receipt.)

Me: “Here. I know what your intentions were. How dare you yell at someone for free food? You’re worse than a beggar. Now, apologize to the nice lady, and take your food when it’s ready. I hope you feel guilty eating it.”

(By this time my order had already come out and the whole shop cheered and clapped. The teenager was red in the face and just stared at her feet the whole time her order was being made.)

Your Attempt At Free Food In Freefall

, , , , , , | Right | November 18, 2017

(I’m working as a pizza delivery driver on a particularly busy night. I’m driving my mom’s minivan for work. On this run, I have to take three deliveries due to the volume of orders. I arrive at my third destination beyond the estimated time.)

Disgruntled Customer: “Well, this pizza’s pretty late. Don’t you think I should get it for free now?”

Me: “I’m not su—”

Disgruntled Customer: *in a voice a five-year-old would use to mock someone* “Ehehehe, I’m not sure.”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m not authorized to give out the food for free, so if you’d like to discuss it, I will need you to sign the receipt, and then you can talk with the general manager on the matter.”

Disgruntled Customer: “Yeah, I’ll do that. What took you so long, anyway?”

Me: “We are busy right now, so I had to take three deliveries at once, and yours just happened to be the last in the lineup.”

Disgruntled Customer: “I would think a delivery boy could come up with a better excuse than that. I’m giving you a tip, but I don’t know why, anyway.” *shoves the receipt in my face*

Me: “Thank you, sir. I do appreciate it.”

Disgruntled Customer: *slams door*

(I return to the restaurant and inform my GM that the man was upset and will be calling in to discuss getting a free meal, when my shift leader chimes in.)

Shift Leader: “Was it the guy from [address]?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s him.”

Shift Leader: “That guy’s always trying to get free food from us. He wanted his wings for free because we didn’t give him exactly even wings and drumsticks with his chicken.”

(Apparently, the guy would come up with excuses anytime he ordered to try and get his food for free. Since that instance though, I haven’t heard from him.)

Free To Hear Whatever You Want To Hear

, , , | Working | November 9, 2017

(I decide Wednesday night to buy a pizza on my way home. This place does only pickup or delivery, no tables. I stand looking at the menu and choosing my order when one of the employees answers the phone.)

Employee #1: “[Employee #2]? They want to talk to you. Something about free pizzas.”

(Out of curiosity, I listen as the coworker takes the call. It turns out to be someone ordering in advance for a huge group of kids on Friday night.)

Employee #2: “She said, ‘thirty-THREE’, not, ‘thirty FREE’!”

How To Cheese Off The Demon Horde

, , , , , | Working | November 7, 2017

(I manage a locally-owned pizza shop where we have a “continual sale” on our cheese pizzas. I am chatting with a new hire about normal customer service issues we encounter.)

New Hire: “So, do we actually get people who are angry because pepperoni is not automatically included on their pizza?”

Me: “Oh, my God. You have no idea.”

(I start to give her several examples, but get summoned to the front register by the door chime.)

Me: “Good evening, sir. Are you placing an order for here or to go?”

Customer: “Yeah, give me one of those medium cheese pizzas for $6. Oh, and throw some pepperoni on there, too.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. Your total for carryout is $7.69.”


Me: “My apologies, sir. The $6 deal is for the cheese pizza; adding pepperoni also adds the price for one topping, bringing your total to $7.69.”

Customer: “Well, that’s some d*** expensive pepperoni, then! Fine, here’s your money, but it’s highway robbery, I tell you!”

(I give him his change, then carry the ticket back to the pizza kitchen.)

Me: “Hey, [New Hire], f*** you; you summoned them! So, please make this gentleman’s medium cheese pizza, add pepperoni, for me.”

New Hire: “My sincerest apologies, friend; I did not mean to summon the demon hordes. I shall pay for my error by making the best cheese pizza, add pepperoni, that you have ever seen!”

(I think she’ll fit in quite well with us.)

Unfiltered Story #99569

, , | Unfiltered | November 6, 2017

(I already hate going up to serve customers the registers, this is the day I kind of began to avoid it even more. Usually when I’m given an order, I don’t see added items like blue cheese on the tag until I open it up in the computers to cash someone out so this happens all the time. This was the straw that broke the 4th year university student’s back.]

Me: can I hel…

Customer: (bitchy tone) pickup for [name].

Me: [gets it out of the warmer ,puts one the free bags of celery and blue cheese on top we give with every wing order and puts it on counter near the customer to begin chechout]

Customer:[ snatches the blue cheese bag off the top and furiously roots through it] [throws it back at me] [bitchy tone] I’m supposed to get extra.

Me: [rubbing the shoulder she threw it at] I see that now, its not on the….[picks up the now broken bag off the ground and sets it aside, getting a fresh one and going to the fridge to get the extra]

Customer: …yeah, but I ordered it. Why isn’t it in the bag

Me: [puts the 4 extra in the bag] cause I hav….

Customer: I ordered it. Sweetie.

What are you putting in there, sweetie.

Me: the ex…

Customer: [snatches the bag] there’s only 6 in here, and they’re the small tubs. I asked for the big ones

Me: we only sell the sma…

Customer: sweetie. You’re not doing your job. I’m supposed to get the big tubs!

Me: [irritated] but we only sell the small ones.

Customer: well I’m not paying for the small ones unless you give me double.

Me: [Irritated] i can’t, you’ll have to pay for 6 more.

Customer: [sighs] fine. How much?

Me: it’ll be $43. 7…..

Customer: [bitchy tone] I’m not done.

I want a 2 L of Coke and a bottle of water.

Me: [gets them from the fridge, adding them to the bill] that’ll be….50.7…..

Customer: ….why is it so much now!?

Me: because you ad…..

Customer: [ sighs and holds their credit card up iny face] I’m gunna use this, sweetie? You got that!? [Waves it in my face] something you probably don’t have cause you work here.

Me: [looks away from it and begins to put the transaction through] put the chip in the reader.

Customer: [irritated] so they give you kids tips!? Nonono.  0%. I wish I could give you a negative percent.

Me: [ on the verge of tears] it doesn’t work that way. Im also not a kid, im 21. So have a nice day.

Customer: [snatches $5 from the tip jar that all the girls at the front share] sure it does. [Pockets it and storms out]

Me: [yells to coworker, bursts into tears] can you come cover me? I need a moment…[runs into the kitchen and begins washing dishes cause no one can see me]

Manager: I saw the whole thing, hun…go home for the day… You were far too nice… I would have fought back.

Me: [sobs and shakes] I…i…I..don’t think I can do front after that…can I stay back here from now on?!

Manager: I understand, hun, just go home for the day…I can finish the dishes.

Me: [clocks self out and sobs] t-thank you

Manager: you’re human, I don’t expect you to take that.

( after that, I only covered front for my coworkers. I never worked up there full time again)

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