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Can Hear Her Saying “Two Miles” From Five Miles Away

, , , , | Right | September 20, 2021

Our delivery area is kind of strange. We go three miles in one direction but only one mile in the other. I don’t understand how they determined our delivery area.

I answer the phone and the lady on the other end is immediately on the offensive.

Caller: “Hi. I’d like to order some pizzas for delivery and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t deliver to me! I’m only two miles from where you are. Two miles! If you don’t deliver to me, I’m going to go to [Competitor]!”

Me: “Okay. May I have your address, please?”

She gives it to me, and I immediately know that this is not in our delivery area, but I put it into the ordering computer anyway just to be sure.

Me: “I’m sorry. But you are not in our delivery area.”


Me: “I understand, ma’am. Our delivery area is shaped pretty weirdly, but I think corporate has plans to build another store in your area.”

Caller: “TWOOOOOO MIIIIIIILES! I guess I’m going to [Competitor], then, if you won’t deliver to me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not allowed to take a delivery order outside our area.”

Caller: *In a very condescending tone* “Looks like I’m going to [Competitor]!”

Me: “Have a nice day.”

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Not Gonna Lie, That Sounds Amazing

, , , , , | Right | September 13, 2021

I work in a bakery that sells freshly baked pastries and handmade sandwiches. One of our more popular items is slices of pizza; we sell Margherita or pepperoni.

A woman and her two young children come to the counter.

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer: “I’ll have [item #1], [item #2], and a macaroni, please.”

Me: “A what, sorry?”

Customer: “A macaroni pizza.”

Her kids are giggling now and I’m on the verge. 

Me: *Playfully* “A macaroni pizza?”

Customer: “A mac… Wait, what did I say?”

Now all four of us are giggling.

Customer: “Oh, God. A Margherita pizza, please! And two pepperonis?”

Me: “So, that’s one macaroni pizza and two pepperitas?”

Customer: “Yes, please!”

I was laughing so hard I could barely take her money. I think I’ll call them Macaroni Pizzas from now on.

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You’re Not Even My First Pimp Daddy Of The Night

, , , , , | Right | September 12, 2021

I work at a grab-and-go pizza place. Two guys come up around midnight, obviously having a good time. The first guy points to his friend.

Guy #1: “My pimp daddy is paying for my slice.”

Me: “All right. That will be [total].”

Guy #2: *Laughing* “She didn’t even blink!

Me: “I’ve worked here for four years, through every holiday and sport event.”

Guy #1: “Fair enough.”

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We Feel Like We Went On This Journey With You, Author

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: TheDogeKing1 | September 9, 2021

I’m seventeen, and it’s my fourth day working at my first job as a delivery driver at a pizza place. I get sent on an order at around 6:30 pm. It’s at the childcare center at our local community college, about fifteen minutes away, which is a first for me to deliver to.

I get there around 6:45, and I notice that both front entrances are closed. I get to the back, and it’s also closed with no way to get in. I call the customer so I can ask how she’d like me to get to her; there’s fencing all around the college so I can’t walk around the gates blocking the road. She doesn’t answer, so I call my boss.

Boss: “Did you try the front entrances?”

Me: “Yes, but they’re blocked off, too.”

Boss: “Did you try calling the customer?”

Me: “Yes, no answer.”

Boss: “I’ll try calling her and then I’ll call you back.”

I drive around to the front of the school, and I find a parking lot across the street, which I park in. I look around and I see a thin path for me to walk through. My boss calls me back.

Boss: “I tried the customer four times but got no answer.”

Me: “I found a path to get in.”

Boss: “Okay. Shoot me a text when you’ve got the food delivered.”

By now, it’s around 7:00. I start walking over to the childcare center, and I realize all the lights are off. I think that’s odd but continue working my way over there. I get there, ring the doorbell, and knock on the door, but no one answers. My boss told me earlier they may be in between two other buildings on campus. I go over and check those out. No one. In these two buildings, no one is there, though the lights are on. I try knocking on multiple doors and ringing the doorbells, and I even call the woman again. No one answers the phone or the doorbells.

At about 7:20, after walking around half the campus, I call my boss again.

Boss: “Just bring the food back. We’ll leave a message for her saying she has to come and pick the food up since you couldn’t find her.”

I got back to the store around 7:40. Right after I got back, the woman finally called the store back, and we found out she’d put the address in wrong. She forgot to put the address in the app she ordered through, so it automatically sent the address as her last order’s location. My boss sent me back out, saying she’d probably tip well, since I’d been out for more than an hour trying to deliver to her.

I drove about five minutes away to her house and gave her her food. No tip.

I got back to the shop at about 8:00, and my boss asked how much I was tipped, and I said none. He was just in awe, as were the cashiers. I could’ve made at least three deliveries in that time and at least ten dollars in tips.

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This Guy Is A Few Slices Short Of A Pie

, , , | Right | August 26, 2021

I’m a young female manager, and I’m only 5’2″, so I’m basically useless if someone were to physically attack me. I take a call from a guy at the local college campus saying that he hasn’t received the pizza he ordered an hour ago. I only have one record of an order with his unique phone number, and it’s from several months ago. He says that someone must have stolen his pizza, and I am to investigate this to no end to find out who the driver was, where he delivered it, and who it was given to, despite me telling him multiple times that we do not have an order for him, nor will my driver remember one specific delivery like that. I even check in the system and with the drivers, and there haven’t been any orders to campus today. The guy becomes unreasonable and belligerent, so I end the call.

He calls right back.

Customer: “I just saw the person who stole my pizza!”

Me: “Well, I suggest you take it up with them, then.”

I hang up and try to get back to work. He calls a third time, and I immediately hang up on him. Ten minutes later, a normal-looking college-aged guy comes into the store.

Customer: “Hi, I never got my pizza from an hour ago and I think someone stole it.”

Me: “Didn’t I just talk to you on the phone?”

Customer: “Yes! And even though you don’t believe me, it’s true.”

I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt, put on my “I’m listening” face, and hear him out once more while he explains the situation again. Halfway through, he interrupts himself.

Customer: “Get that look off your face!”

I recoil in shock because I was simply quietly paying attention to his story.

Me: “I’m just listening to you, sir. If I have a look, it’s because I’m focused on what you’re saying.”

Customer: “No, you’re not! Get that look off your face! I know what you’re about to do! So stop looking at me like that!”

Me: *Surprised and a bit frightened* “I’m not ‘about to do’ anything. I’m just listening.”

He interrupts me by pointing a finger in my face.

Customer: *Sharply* “Shut up! SHUT UP!”

That’s when I straighten up and point to the door and tell him to leave. He refuses to leave and continues his tale of woe, demanding I show him the order screen of the only record of any order with his phone number. This still doesn’t satisfy him and he loudly proclaims that he doesn’t believe me. I told him I don’t care, and since he is being rude and hostile, he is to leave now.

Again, he refuses and invites me to call the cops. I push the panic button under the counter and continuously tell him to leave, and he refuses every time. He pulls out his phone.

Customer: “Want me to call the cops? I’ll call the cops.”

Me: “I already did.”

Several other customers arrived behind him to pick up their orders, and he started telling them all to watch out because we were going to steal their money and/or their food. Then, our owner called the store, since the panic button had been activated, and the cops showed up shortly after. The owner told me to tell the cops to not only escort the guy from the store but to remove him entirely from the property. The cops left with the guy, and I was left shaken and in disbelief of the whole situation.

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