The First Person Who Doesn’t Know The Golden Arches

, , , , , | | Right | July 15, 2019

(While I’m working in the dairy department, an elderly customer comes over to ask me a question.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I have a coupon for this; can you tell me where it’s located?”

Me: “Okay, let me have a look at it.”

(The customer shows a coupon for a McDonald’s Frappe.)

Me: “Um, ma’am, that’s a coupon for a McDonald’s Frappe.”

Customer: “Oh, but if you sold it, where would it be in the store?”

Me: “We don’t sell those here. You might want to go to McDonald’s across the street.”

Customer: “Oh, okay…”

(The customer left the store, still looking confused.)

Unfiltered Story #157528

, , , , | | Unfiltered | July 10, 2019

(I work in the box office of a dinner theater which has a set menu, so we have to ask each party about dietary restrictions.)

Me: “Are there any food allergies or does anyone need a vegetarian meal?”
Customer: “No, but we have a child who has cancer.”
Me: *completely speechless*
Coworker: “Just say that if they have any special needs, they should talk to their server.”
Me: *parrots line to the customer, still very much confused*
Customer: “No… I guess we’re ok.”

Unfiltered Story #144713

, , , | Unfiltered | March 22, 2019

I’m monitoring the self check-out registers when an elderly lady comes up to me.

– Do you work here? (Clearly my work shirt, nametag and hat with the company logo were not enough of a sign.)

– Yes ma’am.

*She shows me a bag of garlic priced at 56 cents.*

– This garlic was marked as $2.99 per pound, not $3.99! What are you going to do about it?!

*Knowing full well that garlic has always been $3.99, I point at the customer service desk not 10 feet away from where we were.*

– Unfortunately, I’m not authorized to make price changes, but the people over at customer service will be able to direct your complaint to the right people and get your situation corrected.

– I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WALK ALL THE WAY OVER THERE! YOU GUYS SHOULD JUST LABEL YOUR PRODUCTS RIGHT!

After that, she stormed off in a huff. I was half tempted to offer to buy the garlic myself if paying an extra 10 cents or so was such a loss for her.

Does Your Pen Say “ACME” On The Side?

, , , , , | Working | March 19, 2019

(I work for a nonprofit agency that runs professional licensing examinations. We still use paper applications, and among our rules is that the applications are signed or we will reject them. Although the instructions state they have to be in black or blue ink only, we are willing to accept any color ink, or pencil, or even crayon, as long as they are signed. One Friday afternoon, a young lady calls. I’ve had a long week but am feeling silly and mischievous when I pick up the phone.)

Caller: *speaking timidly* “What happens if you sign the application in red ink?”

Me: *falling victim to a wicked urge* “The application explodes.”

Caller: “Uh… uh… It blows up? Really?”

Me: “Try it and see!”

(She was dead silent for a few moments, and just as I started thinking that I went too far and started to apologize, she exploded in shrieks of laughter. Once she regained her composure, I apologized, as I really shouldn’t have done that, but she dismissed it, and thanked me as she had been stressing out over little things and needed a good laugh. She asked my name and extension so she could reach me again if needed, and she did call back a few times, always with intelligent questions and always sounding glad to hear my voice. The day before her exam she called me again, and I could tell she was feeling nervous, so I cracked some more jokes, gave her a pep talk and what advice I could give, and told her she would be fine. She passed with flying colors and called me to thank me for helping put her at ease. I told her it was all her own doing, and she said that while I really shouldn’t have cracked that joke when she first called, she was so glad I did. I don’t work there anymore, but that remains my favorite memory from that job.)

Answered One Call Too Many

, , , , , , | Working | March 12, 2019

(I work in a small, four-person office for a restaurant and catering company doing events management. The owner is something of a control freak and tends to micromanage everything, which means that the busier we are, the more stressed out and neurotic he becomes. During our busiest time of the year, the holidays, it isn’t uncommon for him to be more of a hindrance than a help. On this particular day, we have several events happening around town as well as in the restaurant, one of which is a simple delivery. My coworker gets a call from someone at the company with instructions for the day. Unfortunately, the owner is crossing through the room as he rushes around, getting things ready, as she gets off the phone.)

Coworker: *to me* “Hey, who’s doing the delivery today?”

Me: “It should be [Assistant Catering Manager].”

Owner: “No, it’s [Catering Manager]. Why? What’s going on?”

Coworker: “Oh, it’s nothing. The person from [Company we will be delivering to] just called and said that when [Catering Manager] is getting close with the delivery, to call the manager and they’ll get him in the garage.”

Owner: “No no no, we’ll call her, and she can call the manager and tell them to let him in.”

Coworker: “But then, he’ll have to still call us?”

Owner: “Yes.”

Coworker: “So… you want him to call us when he’s getting close, so we can call her, and ask her to call the manager?”

Owner: “Exactly. So, you can just tell him that when he comes to get the food.”

Coworker: *long pause* “Okay.”

(We just gave the catering manager the number we had been given to call in the first place.)

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