Enough To Make You Sushi (Roll) Your Eyes

, , , , | Right | September 12, 2017

Me: “Good evening, [Sushi Restaurant], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, can I get a Maryland roll with no sushi?”

Me: “Well, there is nothing called ‘sushi’ in that roll. Sushi isn’t an ingredient, it’s just what the roll is. It’s a sushi roll. There’s no raw fish or fish eggs in that roll, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Caller: “No, I just don’t want any sushi.”

Me: “Do you mean no seaweed or rice in the roll?”

Caller: “No, I want the seaweed and the rice. I just don’t want sushi in my Maryland roll.”

Me: “Okay, well, I can assure you there will be no ingredient called ‘sushi’ in your roll.”

(I put the roll through as usual, and when the caller came to pick it up, they didn’t complain. I still don’t know what they were asking.)

Unfiltered Story #93330

, , , | Unfiltered | September 7, 2017

(It has been a really easy day, so my manager and I are in pretty good moods and are being a little silly. I’m about to leave and need to tell my coworker something, but she’s checking someone out and I don’t want to interrupt her focus.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager], tell [Coworker] where I left off on [task] like you asked me to do?”

Manager: “Sure! Hey, [Coworker]!” *explains*

Me: C’mon, she was checking someone out. You could’ve let her finish…

Manager: Yeah, but I’m rude and evil. See you later!

Not that my manager is usually a sourpuss or anything, but this was the goofiest mood I think I’ve ever seen him in…

You Can Get There Via Wardrobe

, , , , | Related | August 6, 2017

(My 20-year-old son is bragging to his younger sister and me about how he knows the geography of other countries, and isn’t a stupid American.)

Son: “And I know all the Canadian Provinces! There’s Newfoundland, Prince Caspian….”