Pretty Sure We Still Have Some Nokia 3310s Lying Around Back There…

A customer approaches me with his teenage daughter.

Customer: “Hi. I’m interested in getting an iPhone 11 Pro Max.”

Before I can even open my mouth to respond the daughter starts whining in a nasal voice.

Teenage Daughter: “Oh, my God! Daaaad! Why are you so cheap?! Everyone knows the iPhone 12 is out! Why are you so embarrassing?”

The customer ignores his daughter, keeping his attention on me.

Customer: “Actually, I heard you sell old recycled iPhones that you buy back from customers? What’s the oldest one of those you have in stock?”

Teenage Daughter: “Oh, my God! Daaaad! Stop it!”

Me: “I’d have to confirm, but I believe we have some iPhone 7s in the back somewhere.”

Customer: “Perfect! But please check and see if you have anything older.”

Teenage Daughter: “Daaaad!”

Customer: “[Teenager Daughter], I made it very clear in the car that I would be buying you an iPhone 11 purely on the basis of your behavior, and that even the slightest syllable of entitlement coming from your mouth would have consequences. Well, here they are. Now, I accept that we need to get you a phone so we can contact you, but one more word out of your mouth, and you’ll be calling your friends using a cup and a piece of string, understood?”

Teenage Daughter: “…”

Customer: *To his daughter* “Wonderful.” *To me* “Don’t bother with the older ones. I’ll take that iPhone 7. I’m not a monster.”