The Foundation For Most Arguments And Then Making Up

, , , , | Related | November 28, 2019

(My mom and I get along great, but there is one thing we argue about a lot: makeup. She rarely comes downstairs without at least foundation on whereas I will gladly not wear it if it means I can sleep for another five or ten minutes. In high school, I wore makeup more often than not to hide my acne. In college, however, I stopped wearing it as often just out of sheer laziness. When I did wear makeup, at most I would have some concealer and maybe some lip gloss on. When I went home for breaks, my “lazy habit” followed me home. I’m fine with going out with no makeup on while my mother is appalled at the idea. It comes to a head one Thanksgiving. We are getting ready to meet my extended family at some upscale restaurant since my grandmother doesn’t cook and she insisted on hosting this year. I knock on my parents’ hotel room door.)

Me: “I’m ready; [Brother] is almost ready.”

Mom: “You’re not wearing makeup.”

Me: “Nope.”

Mom: “Go put makeup on.”

Me: “Why?”

Mom: “You need it.”

Me: “No, I don’t.”

Mom: “Yes, you do.”

Me: “We’re just going to a restaurant. Any lip gloss will come off as soon as I start eating.”

Mom: “We’re meeting your grandmother! You need makeup!”

Me: “I don’t want to wear makeup. I don’t need to wear makeup.”

Dad: “It’s about time to go.”

Mom: “Fine! Be ugly for all I care.”

(I didn’t wear makeup that day, but that was the last time Mom really nagged me about the issue. I still rarely wear makeup, and my mom still doesn’t understand how I can leave the house like that.)


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My Family Has Ghosted Me

, , , , , , | Related | November 27, 2019

My family frequently goes skiing in the winter. We typically end up staying at a nearby hotel for one night per trip.

One weekend, I have to share a fold-out bed with one of my younger brothers, who is taller than me and quite lanky. I’m awake long after everyone else is asleep, being an insomniac. My brother sprawls out and I don’t want to touch him, so I’m basically clutching the side of the bed for dear life to keep from falling off.

Eventually, I get fed up with the awkward position and move to the floor, which at least has more room. Once I attempt to lay down, I realize that there is a freezing draft down there and remember seeing an extra blanket in the closet on the other side of the hotel room.

I wrap myself up in the white hotel blanket and slowly shuffle across the room, not wanting to trip or fall because I’m tired and walking in the dark without my glasses. While I’m making my slow trek across the room, my mother wakes up.

She told me the next morning that when she saw a shuffling figure all dressed in white and thought that she’d seen a ghost! I told her that no, it was me trying to get another blanket because my brother was being a bed hog. We had a good laugh about it.

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The Daddy Of Bad Job Interviews

, , , , | Working | November 27, 2019

(My coworker and I are working at our local convenience store and are preparing to close for the night, as it’s almost 11:00 pm. A while ago, we were hiring some help, but we’ve already hired one. Two regulars, a man and a girl I recognize, come in. She is notoriously timid and never looks at us, does not respond, and looks fourteen. The man, her father, comes up with her, quiet and in tow, to my coworker at the register.)

Father: “Well, hi there. I heard a whisper that you’re hiring?”

Coworker: “Yeah, we were last month, but—”

Father: *interrupting* “Great! My daughter here…” *gestures towards the girl who is just standing there* “…is very interested!”

(He then proceeds on a loooong, awkward story of how her studies just didn’t fit and she now is ready for us! All this is without letting us say that, no, we are not really hiring anymore.)

Father: “She is ready to start tomorrow!”

Coworker: “Um… how old are you? 

(My coworker is directing the question to HER, as it’s apparent she is the one applying with papers in hand. Her father does not let her answer.)

Father: “19!”

(I already know she’s not a good fit for this job, as her dad applying and doing all the talking is not a good impression.)

Me: “I can just take those papers and place them in the office.”

(She barely looks at me as I take her resume. Her father, obviously not liking that, looks at me and then around me.)

Father: “I’ll just talk to the boss. Where is he?”

Me: “Oh, he’s not here; he went home at three.”

Father: *genuinely surprised* “Oh… Well, give me his number and I’ll introduce myself.”

(Yes, he said himself, not the daughter. I walk away due to the sheer awkwardness and later come back to my coworker.)

Coworker & Me: *in unison* “Yeah, no… Not happening.”

(I’m truly sorry for the girl but if you want a job, try not to bring your overbearing father… and maybe introduce yourself. Or say anything at all. That would be a great start.)

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Student Cards Require Some Study

, , , | Right | November 26, 2019

(Our train station kiosk is not owned by the railway company — like most here in the country are — and people often don’t know that besides selling coffee and snacks we also provide travel info. In the Netherlands, all students above 18 get a public transport card — PT card — which they can use to travel for free on weekdays and get a discount during holidays. It’s summer break at the moment. A mother and her teenage son walk in. They both seem quite nervous.)

Mother: “You don’t happen to know anything about student PT cards, do you?”

Me: “Sure, I do! I used to have one when I was in college. What do you need to know?”

Mother: “Well, my son here needs to activate his subscription on his card but we don’t know how!

Me: “Don’t worry. It’s easy. Let me show you.”

(I walk outside with them to the machine. I put his card in front of the reader, select ”pick up subscription,” select the only option it gives next, and then proceed to hold the card in front of the reader a second time, like instructed on the screen.)

Me: “There you go. All set.”

Mother: “Oh, it works that fast? Can he travel using this card now?”

Me: “Technically, yes. But because it’s summer break it’s not valid yet, but it automatically will be once school starts. Until then, he travels with a 40% discount.”

Mother: “So, he won’t have to do anything to make it valid?”

Me: “No, ma’am, like I said, that happens automatically.”

Mother: “So, we can use it… like… right now?”

Me: *not knowing how to make myself more clear* “You could, but only with 40% discount. It’s not for free yet. It will be come September. 

Mother: “Are you sure? He can use it once school starts? What if he wants to use it now?” 

(This goes back and forth a couple more times. Finally, I manage to convince her they’re all set.)

Mother: “Well, because you did it so quickly, I just had to make sure, you know! Thanks for the help!”

(They are about to leave when the son speaks up:)

Son: “So, you’re sure I can use this now?” 

Me: *exploding inside*

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Stop Pounding Them With Outdated Advice

, , , , | Working | November 26, 2019

(A kid, who looks no older than eighteen, walks in.)

Kid: “Hi, I want to apply for a job.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t take in-branch applications anymore. If you go to our website, scroll all the way down, and click on ‘Careers,’ it will show you current openings. We don’t have any here right now, but I think [bBranch ten minutes away] has one.”

Kid: “But my parents said I have to pound the pavement to get a job.”

Me: “Not here! It’s all electronic.”

Kid: “Oh. So, you don’t have any openings here?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Kid: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’m sure.”

Kid: “So, no applications?”

Me: “Only online.”

(He sighed and walked out.)

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