The Flight And Mom Are Both Grounded

, , , , | Right | February 23, 2021

The flight I am on is delayed due to a hydraulic system failure and we are asked to deplane. Being at the front of the plane and on a tight schedule for my connecting flight, I head right for the podium to get an alternate flight.

The customer rep is in the middle of reviewing possible flight options for me when a flight attendant emerges from the plane guiding a young boy. It turns out he’s an unaccompanied minor. Part of the contract his mom had signed to let him fly was agreeing to stay in the airport until the plane took off… in case of something like a hydraulic system failure grounding the plane.

She had not. I got a front-row seat to watch as the crew took care of the boy, who was very well-behaved, waited quietly, and played his Switch — and tried to get his mom back.

This was a significant undertaking. The rep had to call multiple people and tell them that the mom needed to come back, that not being here was a violation of the contract, and that no, they couldn’t just put the boy on another plane without parental supervision. And each person needed to be told each of these things repeatedly.

Kudos to the airline for their handling of the situation, but what the heck was the mom doing in the late afternoon that it required this much convincing to come back for her son?

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Some People Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Reproduce

, , , , , | Right | February 23, 2021

I work at a small fast food restaurant in an area that is unsafe to be in after 8:00 pm. There is no play area for kids and the dining room is closed at 8:00 pm.

A lady in an oversized coat with fur linings comes in at 7:00 pm with four kids. The oldest looks about seven while the youngest looks about five. The lady orders a large order totalling about $50, and then takes the order to a back table that has charging ports. Then, she leaves; the kids don’t seem to care as they are watching a movie on a laptop.

At 7:30 pm, the mum hasn’t come back. I tell my shift supervisor, who asks the kids if they have their mum’s number. They don’t have her number, so my supervisor calls the police to take care of the kids and then asks me to keep an eye on them.

While we’re waiting for the police, an older man that seems out of it approaches the kids and starts asking them questions.

Older Man: “Where are Mummy and Daddy?”

Older Man: “Do your Mummy and Daddy hate you so much that they left you here?”

Older Man: “Would you like to get a ride with me? Or you can stay at my place?”

Luckily, the police arrive before things get out of control and take the kids with them. I think that will be the end of it.

At 10:00 pm, someone starts screaming and trying to break down the door. My supervisor sees that it is the lady from before. He lets her in and she goes straight for the table where she left her kids. When she realises that her kids aren’t there, she storms up to the front counter.


Supervisor: *Very calmly* “With all due respect, you left your kids here with no adults and no way to contact you. I called the police as it’s not my job to make sure that your kids are safe. Here is the number for the officer that is watching your kids; she is waiting for you so you can have a lesson on how to look after your kids.”

The lady turned a deep shade of purple. She stormed out, and that was the last we saw of her.

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Goose/Gander; Dog/Dad

, , , , | Related | February 22, 2021

Me: “The dogs thought they wanted my cup of xylitol. I was like, ‘No, this will literally kill you.’”

Dad: “Why were you eating xylitol?”

Me: “I use it for my tea.”

Dad: “Oookay… but why?”

Me: “My teeth don’t hate it. You know how with sugar, you can feel your teeth get angry? Xylitol doesn’t cause that.”

Dad: “Oh, okay.”

Me: “If you want to try it—”

Dad: “No, I read something about it being toxic to dogs, and I was like, well, if it’ll kill my dog, why do I want to eat it?”

Me: “Chocolate will also kill your dog. Should I stop buying you chocolate, then? Is that what you’re saying?”

Dad: “Wait, what? How dare you use my logic against me?!”

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Do You Ever Just Want To Steal Someone’s Kids?

, , , , | Legal | February 21, 2021

I work in a restaurant, and I have a story that is one part funny, one part sad.

A family of four comes in: two kids about eleven and twelve and their “parents,” though I use the term loosely. I know right off the bat that they are going to be trouble.

The first thing that clues me in is that they ask to be seated at a table closest to the door. That’s a big red flag that they are going to dine and dash. I have everyone in the restaurant watching them and I inform the manager. The manager tells me to go ahead and wait on them. What else can we do?

They order expensive seafood platters, drinks, steaks, and fancy desserts. Red flag number two: deliberately ordering the most expensive of everything.

I don’t even get the check to the table; I look over and they are gone.

Coworker: “The parents sent the kids out to the car first, waited a few minutes, and then bolted.”

This is the funny part of this story: they left their car keys on the table!

I pick them up, spin them on my finger, and whistle my way over to the manager and plop them in his hands.

As the manager calls the police, another employee watches through a window as they scramble to the car and frantically look through their pockets for the keys. Then, they all scurry out of the car, run across the street to a strip mall, and go into a fast food joint.

The cops show up, take down our side of the story, and bring the family back over to the restaurant. Now the “parents” try and say that each of them thought the other one took care of the check.

Manager: “Okay, just pay the check now and we won’t press charges.”

OOPS… Guess what? They don’t have any money! We can tell that their weak cover story just blew a big hole in itself and is deflating rapidly, while an officer is standing nearby with a sarcastic expression that says it all without a word being spoken.

Now, all through their blustering story and lack of funds, another officer has had their IDs and has been running their names. No surprise, they put the man in cuffs and into the cruiser he goes; apparently, he has an outstanding warrant! 

The woman makes a few calls on her cell, and about a half-hour later, an older woman shows up and pays the check with her credit card. She looks unhappy but really doesn’t say anything; she just sighs and signs the credit card slip. She even writes in a tip. I am guessing she’s the kids’ grandma.

We give “Mom” her car keys and off they go.

The very sad part of this story: there were two children involved in this. It’s one thing to scam and steal, but to bring your kids along?

I mentioned to the manager that I hoped that this was a lesson to the “parents.” The manager looked depressed and pointed out that the kids didn’t look upset or scared when the police were doing their thing. They had clearly been through this type of thing before and probably would in the future, too. Poor kids.

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It’s Ap-parent That You’re An Idiot

, , , , , | Friendly | February 19, 2021

We took our eldest to a wedding when she is quite young. A friend of the bride is talking to us throughout the evening; she is a bit grating. She keeps making comments about the blankets we use, the way we hold our daughter, etc. Clearly, she has no idea what she is talking about; half of it is outdated old wives’ tales and the other half just don’t make sense.

We keep polite, and my wife starts to entertain our daughter with some phonics-styled reading books.

Guest: “I don’t believe in phonics.”

Me: “Oh, really?”

Guest: “Yeah, it doesn’t work.”

Wife: “Oh? We teach with it, and the children seem to really take to it well.”

Me: “Yeah, [Daughter] is learning really quickly using it.”

Guest: “It just doesn’t make sense to me. I mean, it seems wrong; that’s not how the letters work. If I were you, I would chuck that book right now.”

Me: “Do you have children yourself?”

Guest: “Well, no.”

Me: “Any experience in child development or teaching in early years?”

Guest: “Well, no, but—”

Me: “But nothing. We know how to raise a child and we know how to teach a child. You do not, so please, just no more.”

She sneers at me and stands to leave.

Guest: “I was only trying to help.”

There is nothing like parenting advice from a non-parent with an opinion.

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