Talking To Mom Is The Biggest Chore Of All

, , , , | Related | December 6, 2019

(Today, my mom has stopped by my house and is watching while I tidy the kitchen. I work two jobs — one from home in the evenings — and have two preschool-aged children at home with me. My husband works long hours but his only daily household responsibility is to put the kids to bed and tidy up the kitchen after dinner.)

Me: “Sorry about the mess; [Husband] had an appointment yesterday evening and didn’t get anything done.”

Mom: “Well, why didn’t you do it?”

Me: “I was working like always.”

Mom: “You should still do it, instead.”

Me: “When?”

Mom: “I used to manage when you and your brother were little. Your dad would put you to bed and I would do the washing up and get the kitchen clean.”

Me: “Well, that’s fine for you, but I start work as soon as we finish dinner.”

Mom: “He deserves a break; you have time. I always did!”

(She didn’t work!)

Me: “What about me? Don’t I deserve a break? Should he put the kids to bed and sit and relax at 8:00, while I work until 9:30 and then get up and clean the kitchen?”

Mom: “You could do it during the day; you have time.”

Me: “What time do you think l have? I clean every other part of the house and look after my kids. I’m a mom, not a maid! It’s his only job in the house!”

(The kids distracted her at this point, but for someone who claims she believes in equality she certainly doesn’t think it applies to her own daughter.)

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About To Be Some Diorama-Drama

, , , , | Related | December 5, 2019

(I am working at the ticketing desk of a local museum where some of our major exhibits are diorama halls of taxidermied animals. A woman and her son who looks to be about three or four come up to my desk.)

Son: “We’re going to the museum!”

Mother: *angrily* “Yeah, we were going to go to the zoo, but somebody only wants to see dead animals!”

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The Only Thing Broken Is Her Parenting  

, , , , , , | Right | December 4, 2019

(I am on break when this happens but my manager tells me about this. She and a coworker are working in the backroom, organizing and labelling boxes. A child opens the door and throws a mug at them.)

Mother Of Child: “Did the mug break?”

Manager: “No, but—”

Mother Of Child: “Oh, good. We don’t have to pay for it, then. Come along, [Child].”

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It’s Time To Lego Of This Customer  

, , , , , | Right | December 4, 2019

(I work at a board game store that has three locations. I’m usually at our location inside the local mall which, for obvious reasons, has a lot more toys than the other two locations. A family of about four adults and one small child comes in and wanders around the store. I don’t see the kid playing at the train table, which is probably our biggest attraction for small kids, nor do I see him play at all with the Plus Plus demo table — like Legos but all one shape. What I do see when I look over is the kid happily taking apart one of two Lego models my manager spent all morning putting together a few days ago to show what they look like as we still have several of those two models in stock.)

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not what that’s for; it’s for display. Could you please not let him do that?”

Mom: “What? It was out there. I didn’t realize this was a toy store where you can’t play with any of the toys!”

Me: “We have other things he can play with; we’d just really rather he not take apart the Legos. I’m sorry those ones weren’t labeled like the ones at the counter are—”

Mom: *interrupting* “Well, they should be! I can’t believe he can’t even touch the toys! What kind of toy store is this, anyway?!”

Me: *trying to come up with an answer that won’t offend her further*

Mom: *dumps Lego pieces in my hands* “Well, I’m sorry we didn’t realize that he can’t play with the toys. We’ll be on our way, then, and I’m sorry to have bothered you!”

Me: *after them as they already are leaving* “He can play with the trains… or the Plus Plus…”

(Two other customers who saw the whole thing reassured me that I had not been rude at all. Fifteen minutes later, I got a call. The woman on the phone asked for my manager. I was the only employee at this location, and I was pretty sure the manager over all the locations was not at work, so I told her when my store manager would be back: two days from then. I’m certain it was her, wanting to complain that I wouldn’t let her small child tear our Lego model to bits.)

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Extra Brownie Points For You

, , , , | Related | December 4, 2019

(I’m helping my mother sort laundry. My nine-year-old brother has been pestering me for weeks about wanting to watch some online videos that he apparently thinks only dwell on my laptop. I have also made brownies, so he has been asking for those all afternoon.)

Brother: “Hey, [My Name], can I have a—“

Me: “No.”

Brother: “But they’re cool now!”

Me: “I told you, after dinner.”

Brother: “Then can I watch—“

Me: “No.”

Brother: “But—“

Me: “I said no.”

Brother: *grumbles*

Mom: “You would be a great mother.“

Me: “I knew exactly what he was going to ask for. This is why I don’t want to be a mother.”

(People ask why I never want children. I always tell them that I got enough of parenting from my brothers.)

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