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Fishing Through The Lost And Found

, , , , , | Right | April 26, 2021

Customer: “Have you got a lost and found? I left something here last week.”

Employee: “Yes. What was it?”

Customer: “A bag with my things in. I think I put it down by the door when I was putting my coat on.”

Employee: “Was it something you bought here?”

Customer: “Yes, it was my goldfish and fish food and some dog chews.”

Employee: “Oh, that was yours! Yes, we have your bag. I’ll go and get it for you, and then you can choose some new fish.”

Customer: “What happened to the ones I bought?”

Employee: “We put them back into the tank. It’s fine. We made a note of what was in there; you can just pick out new ones.”

Customer: “I already picked the ones I wanted. Why didn’t you just keep them for me?”

I had to leave so didn’t hear the end of the conversation, but I sure feel sorry for that poor employee having to explain why they couldn’t keep a bag of live fish for a week.

Why Won’t You Just Please Take Your Items?

, , , , , | Right | April 8, 2021

I am on the bus. A group of teenagers are at the back and talking rather loudly, so I hear one say the following:

Teen: “You are being such an unexpected item in the bagging area now!”

After hearing more of the conversation, it turned out she works for the local supermarket!

Some Say She’s Still Searching

, , , , | Friendly | March 27, 2021

I am at a festival. A drunk girl walks past me talking on the phone and crying her eyes out.

Drunk Girl: “I keep yelling, ‘Marco,’ but people keep yelling back, ‘Polo.’”

A Hot Take So Hot It Melts Steel Beams

, , , , , | Learning | March 27, 2021

I’m in college, and I recently overheard this in class.

Student: “How could 9/11 have been an inside job if the planes came from outside the building?”

How did you manage to get in here?

Sexy Clothes Are Pregnant With Possibility

, , , | Right | March 14, 2021

I overhear two women trying on outfits in a clothing store.

Customer: “Is this too sexy? I can’t be too sexy, or I end up with more kids.”