I am checking out a customer who is here with her daughter and her mother, so three generations of women. The daughter — four years old — is having a great time talking to herself. The grandmother seems to be upset by this.

Grandma: “It’s totally inappropriate for her to have an imaginary friend, and I’m embarrassed by it!”

Mom: *To Grandma* “You get on your knees every night and talk to your sky friend and ask him to forgive you for gambling even though you play the lottery every week. She’s a four-year-old girl. What’s your excuse?”

I overheard this at a market stall as I was browsing the next stall over.

Customer: “Oh, what lovely earrings! How much?“

Stallholder: “They’re £12.“

Customer: “£12? That’s far too much. I’ll give you £6.“

Stallholder: “No, those are £12.“

Customer: *In a withering tone* “Don’t you understand how haggling works?“

Stallholder: “Wait, we’re haggling? Oh, in that case, those start at £20.“

Customer: “£20? You said £12!“

Stallholder: “£12? That’s an acceptable offer. Done!”

Related:
Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 5
Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 4
Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 3
Can They Haggle? No Or No?, Part 2
Can They Haggle? No Or No?

A couple of teenagers are checking out at my register, so I can pretty much hear their entire conversation. Among the items are some birthday candles.

Teen #1: “How did you pick your birthday?”

Teen #2: “What do you mean?”

Teen #1: “Well, your birthday is July 22. How did you pick that?”

Teen #2: “I was born that day? It’s my birth… day.”

Silence…

Teen #1: “Oooooh! I get it now!”

As I am stocking the shelves, I see a Japanese woman shopping with her toddler daughter. The conversation they are having is in Japanese, and I’m smiling as she’s the cutest thing.

Another couple of customers are passing by and attempt to whisper to each other but fail at being quiet.

Customer: *To their friend* “How do Asian babies come out knowing Japanese instead of English?”

I overhear two coworkers talking.

Coworker #1: “I was born at [Hospital], so I’m proper local. What about you?”

Coworker #2: “Oh, I was born at home.”

Coworker #1: *Shocked* “At home! Wow! Was your mum there, too?”

I had to leave my desk immediately before I spat my coffee all over my screen.