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Science Has Failed Us…

, , , , | Right | December 17, 2020

I am shopping in a grocery store when I overhear this pained comment from the next aisle.

Customer: “I can’t believe nobody has invented calorie-free ice cream yet. That’s so disappointing.”

Agreed!

We’ve Got This Thing Licked!

, , , , , , | Working | December 16, 2020

I have my brother, sister-in-law, sister, and their (combined) six kids all staying with me. My oldest niece is nine years old, while the youngest nephew is six weeks old, so it is hectic! At work, I tend to talk about my nieces and nephews to my coworkers. This is a conversation with the owner of the restaurant I work in.

Me: “[Six-Year-Old Niece] has a weird habit of licking people, but I finally got her to stop licking me.”

Owner: “Oh? What’d you do?”

Me: “I waited until she had licked all over my hands and then told her I had forgotten to wash them after using the bathroom.”

The owner cracks up laughing. My manager apparently overheard the last part.

Manager: “That is disgusting! You should be ashamed! Go wash your hands now!”

I tried to explain to the manager what I had been talking about, but she continuously interrupted me. Eventually, I just told her, “Well, it keeps the six-year-old from licking me!” Needless to say, she was confused enough to stop and actually listen.

But Did It Have I’s? Tyger, Tyger…

, , , | Learning | December 12, 2020

I overhear this in a kindergarten classroom during reading time.

Child: “That’s not a tiger! It has eyes!”

Kids.

Almost As Bad As Her Hangry Hat

, , , , , | Related | November 23, 2020

I overhear this in a grocery store.

Little Girl: “I’m hungry.”

Mom: “I know, honey. We will eat when we get home.”

Little Girl: “When I’m hungry, I get cranky pants. YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE MY CRANKY PANTS!”

Leaving Entitlement All Over The Floor

, , , , , | Right | November 3, 2020

I overhear this in the fitting rooms as I’m dealing with a giant mound of customer clothing to put away.

Customer: “Don’t waste time putting those back on the hanger; the girl needs something to do all day.”