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That Just Made Her Chardonnay-Day

, , , , | Right | March 5, 2021

I am working in a grocery store and I overhear a woman in another aisle talking to herself.

Customer: “Is Chardonnay vegan? I’m on a vegan diet! Let me Google it… It is!”

I never saw someone skipping away so happily before.

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Excuse Me, I Just Gotta Make A Quick Trip To Pennsylvania

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 27, 2021

Jason Momoa is filming a movie in the town where my college is located. I am walking to the main tourist square to grab lunch and I am behind two young men around my age. I happen to overhear their conversation.

Guy #1: “Are you sure this will work?”

Guy #2: “Absolutely! Look he’s like seven feet tall, right? So we’ll easily be able to spot him. Then, we strike up a friendly conversation and invite him out for beers. Next thing you know, we’re best friends with Khal freaking Drogo, man!”

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Set Phasers To Clean!

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 15, 2021

I am in an airport bathroom stall when a self-cleaning toilet seat begins to whir.

A woman speaks up from a stall with a delighted voice and a broad southern accent.

Woman: “D*******N, THIS IS SOME STAR TREK S***!”

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Data Mining Earworms

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2021

I overhear two customers talking in my checkout line.

Customer: “I wish my brain could, like, process bitcoin or something, instead of always just having some stupid song playing in there on repeat.”

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She’s Just Throwing That Out There

, , , , , | Right | January 10, 2021

While stocking the shelves in the toy aisle, I overhear a little girl talking to her dad: 

Girl: “Dad, are boomerangs like frisbees but for people who have no friends?”

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