What The Dickens Is Her Problem?

, , , , , , | | Learning | May 20, 2019

(I started reading when I was three years old and I am a very avid reader. I am now in third grade, aged eight. I have a terrible teacher who always picks on me.)

Teacher: “The reason I have taken you all to the library is that I want you to pick a book to read in class for this term.”

(I head over to the back of the library where the books for the older kids are and pick out “David Copperfield” by Charles Dickens.)

Me: “Miss, I found a book.”

Teacher: “No, you haven’t.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s right here.”

Teacher: “No, you’re not reading that! It’s too hard for you! Stop trying to be funny and pick out a real book!”

Me: “B-but I already found a book.”

Teacher: “No! Stop trying to be funny!”

Me: “I-I’m r-really sorry, Miss, but I really want to read this one! I’ve already read Great Expectations, and that’s by the same author.”

Teacher: “DON’T TALK BACK TO ME!”

(I’m on the verge of tears and the librarian, who has witnessed the whole incident, decides to step in.)

Librarian: “Excuse me, [Teacher], but this girl is in here every morning reading, and she has read novels far more challenging than this. Now, stop shouting at this poor child and let her read the darn book.”

Teacher: “…”

(To this day, I am still thankful to that librarian. She helped me through my bullying and we ended up becoming really close!)

Kids Only Floss Once A Fortnite

, , , , , , | | Related | May 19, 2019

(I’m serving a woman and her roughly eight-year-old son.)

Customer: “That’s what I forgot to grab. I was going to buy you some dental floss. I need to teach you how to floss.”

(Suddenly, the kid looks really excited, like he’s about to jump out of his skin.)

Customer: “Not Fortnite floss. Floss your teeth.”

(The son frowned and slumped off to go sit down, looking quite upset. The customer just looked at me and rolled her eyes.)

Some People Are Jerks And That’s Final

, , , , , | | Right | May 16, 2019

(I used to work for an electricity company’s call centre. I now work in an office, and I overhear this conversation. My coworker is not the nicest or brightest person in the world.)

Coworker: “I have a bill here that says, ‘final bill.’ I need to know if this bill is a final bill. No, I won’t tell you my account number! Tell me if it’s a final bill! I don’t care if you can’t see the account!”

(This goes on for a few minutes until she’s speaking in an utterly condescending tone.)

Coworker: “I know it says, ‘final bill,’ on it. I need to know if that means it’s a final bill. Derrrr!”

(The poor soul on the other end finally convinces her that yes, “final bill” means, “final bill.”)

Coworker: *muttering to herself* “How stupid are some people? How hard is it to tell me if a final bill is a final bill? That’s all I needed to know! Morons!”

(I’m so thankful I don’t work in an electricity call centre anymore. This, unfortunately, is a typical call.)

Might Need To Tighten Your Belt

, , , , , | | Right | May 2, 2019

(I’m working on a register. It’s been a slow day and as a result, there’s no one at my register. [Customer #1], an elderly woman with a trolley full of groceries, approaches my register. Seeing that there is no queue, she decides to push her trolley right up to my register and starts unloading her groceries at the front of the belt, rather than unloading them at the end of the belt and letting the belt carry them up to me. This is perfectly fine and not at all uncommon for customers to do when there’s no line. I begin ringing up her groceries and we start chatting. As we do, [Customer #2], an old man, pushes his trolley to the end of the belt and begins unloading his stuff, while [Customer #1] is still trying to unload her stuff at the front. Fairly quickly, [Customer #2]’s stuff begins encroaching on [Customer #1]’s stuff.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me. Sorry, I’m still unloading my stuff. Could you just wait a moment? Thanks.”

Customer #2: “Oh, yeah, sure.”

([Customer #2] just stands there for a second, before continuing to unload his groceries onto the belt as if nothing had happened.)

Customer #1: *pushing [Customer #2]’s stuff back a bit to clear more room for herself* “Um, excuse me. Could you just wait a moment? I need more room to finish unloading my stuff.”

Customer #2: “Huh? Oh, all right.”

([Customer #2] just continues to unload his groceries. Now [Customer #1] is getting really fed up. She stretches her arms across the belt and shoves all of [Customer #2]’s stuff back into his trolley.)

Customer #1: “WOULD YOU STOP ALREADY?!”

([Customer #2] suddenly shoots up as if he’s just woken up from a dream and is aware of his surroundings for the first time. He gets that look on his face that a four-year-old gets when they’ve been told off. He finally stops unloading his trolley, and waits for [Customer #1] to finish.)

Customer #1: “Some people.”

(I finished helping [Customer #1], and began serving [Customer #2], who never spoke and just awkwardly stared at the floor the whole time.)

You Will Buy What We Tell You To Buy

, , , , , | | Right | April 30, 2019

(There are two customers at my register. I’m currently serving [Customer #1], while [Customer #2] has just finished unloading her groceries onto the belt, ready to be served next.)

Customer #2: “Sorry, I just forgot to get something. Do you mind if I quickly run and grab it?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

Customer #2: “Thanks.”

([Customer #2] leaves her groceries on the belt and races back down an aisle to find what she wants. This is a fairly regular occurrence, so I think nothing of it. Shortly after she has left, though, [Customer #3] arrives and starts unloading her groceries onto the belt behind [Customer #2]’s stuff. As she does, I finish serving [Customer #1]. Then, although she is not back yet, I start scanning through [Customer #2]’s groceries.)

Customer #3: “Um, excuse me. Those aren’t mine.”

Me: “I know. They’re—“

Customer #3: *sounding very panicked* “No, really, they’re not mine. I didn’t put them there. I have no idea where they came from.”

Me: “Yes, I know.”

Customer: *sounding even more panicked* “I really don’t know how they got there, honestly. I didn’t put them there. They’re not mine. Please. I don’t want them.”

(At that moment, [Customer #2] returned to claim her groceries. A look of relief instantly washed over [Customer #3] as she finally understood where those groceries came from. But for a moment there, it honestly sounded like she thought I was going to force her to buy these groceries that had magically appeared out of nowhere. Customers are weird.)

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