(I’ve chosen to take Legal Studies as one of my Year 12 courses. As part of the course, we’re allowed to go to a local prison to meet some of the inmates and hear about their experiences with the criminal justice system. Since the bus to the prison leaves fairly early from school, my dad agrees to drive me to school.)

Dad: “Hey, [Radio Station] is having one of their contests on in five minutes!”

(He calls, and manages to get through to the station.)

Operator: “What are you doing up so early today?”

Dad: “I’m taking my daughter to prison!”

(Thanks, Dad. On the plus side, that particular statement DID get him on the radio.)

(It’s after midnight and we’re in bed, but the dog is insistent on playing.)

Me: “No, puppy! Stop trying to force your balls under the blanket. They’re gross and it’s sleep time.”

Partner: “I’m so glad it’s you saying that to the dog and not me to you.”

(I have just been hired as a computers/technology teacher. I’ve decided to make my grade five and six classes learn touch typing, as it’s a valuable skill. I’m a bit worried they’re going to put up a fight and groan about it, as most of them just want to play computer games in class, so I have a trick up my sleeve that I hope will convince them to get on board. I have just made them all take a typing test. Most of them averaged 10-20 words per minute.)

Me: “Okay, guys, everyone come back and sit on the carpet. I want to show you something.” *I pull up the same typing test onto my computer which projects onto a board, so they can see my screen.* “I’m going to show you why we’re learning this.”

(I take the same typing test that they’ve just done. However I am a very fast typist and break 100 words per minute with zero errors. My students watch, first in silence, but as time ticks down they start to shout and chant. By the end of the test half of them are on their feet cheering me on. Not gonna lie; I feel like a superstar.)

Student: “Daaaaaang, she types faster than Usain Bolt runs!”

(I have them start the typing program and they literally run to their computers. After class ends I hear many of them talk about my typing skills as they file out of the room. The next day several students tell me they logged onto the program at home to practice more. They’re now so excited to learn, and would rather practice typing than play computer games in class. I love my job!)