In Need Of Some Home Deliverance

, , , , , | Right | January 1, 2020

(I’m working at a checkout and processing a home delivery. These usually take a long time to put through, as they are usually quite large orders and require me to sort the bags, enter a lot of information into the system, and place special stickers onto each bag before loading them into a trolley, all by myself. As such, it’s common practice to put a closed sign up at the end of the register so that customers know to go to a different register, instead of waiting the ten to fifteen minutes it can take to be served. As I’m still only halfway through the home delivery order, a customer approaches.)

Customer: “Are you open?”

Me: “Yes, but this is a home delivery, so I’ll be a while. You’re better off going through a different register.”

Customer: “So you’re open?”

Me: “Yes, but I’ll be a while.”

Customer: “I’ll come through here, then.”

(She begins unloading her stuff onto my belt, behind the current order. As she does, she takes my closed sign down.)

Me: “I really recommend going to a different register. You’ll be waiting a long time.”

Customer: “I’ll come through here.”

Me: “Okay.”

(As I continued processing the home delivery, the customer kept asking me questions about her groceries. I kept telling her that I was busy helping my current customer with the home delivery but tried and helped her as much as I could. Eventually, she asked me to call a manager to help her, which I informed her I could not do right then as I’d need to leave my register to do that and I was still helping a customer with a large order. Over the next few minutes, she kept complaining about how long it was taking and asking why I’d not called anyone to help her yet. Finally, I gave in and walked over to a microphone to call someone, but as I did, she decided she’d had enough and walked away, leaving all her groceries on my belt. I returned to my register and continued processing the home delivery. Of course, thanks to the customer taking down my closed sign, I now had a queue of customers, all very angry at how long I was taking. Eventually, I finished the home delivery, got rid of the missing customer’s groceries, and then dealt with a couple of angry customers, all fed up with how long I took. So, thanks, random customer, you really made my day.)

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At Least She Won’t Be Getting THAT Special Gift For Christmas

, , , , , , | Related | December 28, 2019

(I’m at the checkout of a bookstore. A teenage girl and her mum are buying some Christmas presents when a security alarm attached to the register goes off.)

Staff: “All good — I know you’ve paid for everything. Let’s just check the security tags on the items you’ve bought.”

(The staff rechecks all items, and all are fine, but the alarm goes off again.)

Staff: *still being super nice* “I can also fix the security tag on the other items, so this doesn’t happen all day.”

Mum: “Thanks, that would be great.”

(The mum and daughter go through their shopping, and it’s all looking good. I then notice the daughter starting to look uncomfortable.)

Staff: *quietly* “Did you buy something at the chemist?”

(The daughter opens her handbag and slowly places a large box of condoms on the counter. The staff member deactivates the security tag. The mum gives the daughter a stern look worthy of legend and they both leave the store slowly and quietly.)

Staff: *loudly* “MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

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I’ll Have A Large Large With A Large Large

, , , | Right | December 27, 2019

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Can I get a burger combo?”

Me: “Sure, was that regular or large today?”

Customer: “Large, thanks.”

Me: “And what drink today?”

Customer: “I SAID LARGE!”

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Running It In Will Run You Down

, , , , , , | Working | December 12, 2019

I arranged to drive three friends to Adelaide — about an eight-hour drive — on Thursday night, and head back on Sunday night. We were meeting friends there, we had hotel rooms booked, and we had booked a laser tag session to run from midnight to dawn on Sunday morning. 

Yeah, this was a while ago and the nearest laser tag was 800 km away. We were young; it seemed like a good idea.

My car was running poorly and some major part needed to be replaced — like the differential. I took it to a mechanic, who agreed to do it on Thursday. I chose Thursday for the repair because I was going to pick up my friends straight after work, so I would have to drive that day anyway. The mechanic was near the office. I specifically mentioned that I needed to be sure it would be ready, as I was driving to Adelaide straight after picking it up. 

When I went to pick up the car, the job was done — hooray — but then, he handed me a piece of paper with the instructions for running the new part in! And they were pretty incompatible with blowing a quarter of the way across the country overnight. I can’t remember the details, but it was something like not exceeding 80kph for the first 500km, and letting the car cool down for half an hour after each hour of driving.

I was ropeable! I specified to the mechanic exactly why I needed the repair and exactly what my driving plans were. Surely if he knew his job he would have known about the running in that was needed. I don’t remember what I said but I was furious. If I had known about this I could have had the work done earlier, found another car, or found us places in the other cars that were driving across. But this late in the day, there was nothing to be done. I was going to let my friends down. We’d been planning this trip for weeks.

The mechanic looked at me, confused, and asked, “Do you have a stressful job?”

ARGH!

But after that, there was just such a blissful ignorance about the man — he could not understand why I was angry — that my anger started to dissipate. It was fruitless; we were where we were, and shouting wasn’t going to fix it. He did the sensible thing and put me on the phone with the parts supplier. The supplier understood why I was angry and agreed the mechanic was an idiot. Then, he talked me through how to run the part in on our road trip.

It meant that instead of four drivers taking turns to drive straight through with only a toilet break, we spent a lot of time waiting by the roadside for the engine to cool, or sitting in roadhouses drinking coffee we didn’t want. Instead of arriving at the hotel at one or two am, we got there at nine. Oh, well, we can sleep all day. Yeah, no. The temperature quickly rose to 40C in our cheap and un-air-conditioned hotel room, and the busy building site across the street had already started its day’s work. We never did make up the sleep deficit over the weekend, making the drive back on Sunday a whole different kind of adventure.

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A Breast Of Fresh Air

, , , , , | Right | December 12, 2019

(It’s a busy day and I’m by myself in the deli. I’m running between serving customers and trying to take chickens out of the oven. A man comes up and waits by the chicken warmer until I’m done serving everyone else.)

Customer: “Hi, my wife bought this chicken about an hour ago and there’s no breast.”

Me: “Oh, wow, I’m sorry. that’s really weird!”

(He hands me the chicken and I take a look.)

Me: “Um… You do realise it’s upside down?”

(I flip the chicken and yup, it’s upside down; the breast is there.)

Customer: “Oh… I’m so sorry… I’ll just take it back.”

Me: “Nah, it’s cold and squishy now. Take a fresh one anyway!”

(I took a fresh chicken out of the oven and gave it to him. It was worth wasting a chicken for the laugh he gave me. I just wonder what he said to his wife when he got home!)

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